The Jamaican Ninja Bert!!

      Richie Drenz
The Jamaican Ninja Bert!!

When Portia Simpson implemented tax on patty, it mad Dr. Bert Kemp, a psychiatrist. He then became a fat ninja, hell bent on murdering Portia. His wife, Marj scorned by all for living with a madman except the handsome, thick-bodied Dr. Arnold who desires her. Bert grows jealous and goes to utterly unsound measures to keep her but instead, pushes her away. Will he regain sanity or her love?When Portia Simpson implemented tax on patty, it mad Dr. Bert Kemp, a psychiatrist. He then became a fat ninja, hell bent on murdering Portia Simpson’s head-crown, so every patty can be tax-free. His wife, Marjorie, decides to take care of her mentally-touched husband and hopes she has the strength to stick by him for better or worse. But as she unbearably loses everything and everyone because of Bert’s insanity, she crumbles, thinking she’s holding on to dead hope for her husband to regain his sanity, but will it ever happen? Scorned by her friends and family for living with a madman her only listening ear is the handsome, thick-bodied Dr. Arnold who wants her for himself. Bert grows jealous and goes to utterly unsound measures to keep his wife’s love but instead, is pushing her away. The ultimate question then is, “Will Bert ever get to take off the Right Honourable Portia Simpson’s head-crown?”EXCERPT 1Marj looked at him and the wrinkles straightened out her face. “See how mi smart? You nuh see how fast mi mek you reach yah?” Bert asked, “You lucky you come quick though enuh, a light mi did gone light the gas cylinder and mi couldn’t find the matches, you think you coulda out it in time if mi did get fi put mi hand pon the matches? You stay deh, you woulda blow till you weak you couldn’t put out that deh big fire deh mi woulda set the house pon. A woulda bun dung the whole a in yah then claim insurance.”She threw her hand up and slapped her forehead harder than she intended to. She wanted to be angry, but when she looked in his eyes she breathed out some of the fire out her chest and shook her head. Her voice lowered,“Bert, that’s a boxing ring Hun, I can’t wear that.”She repeated her mantra, “For better or for worse Lord, for better or for worse.”EXCERPT 2Six and a half hours later, Marj came in the evening and was greeted by the Vybz Kartel, he was blasting in the house, ‘Cock it up pon the Dumper Truck’. Her ears hurt. But what was more alarming to her senses was a smell. She was smelling heat, stale heat like an iron left in fire. Something was burning. She charged into her living room. Bert still had the curling iron plugged in, until it was dangerously hot and red.“What are you doing Bert?!”Bert was reclined on his back in the sofa, he offhandedly answered,“Clearlyyyy,” he dragged on the word ‘clearly’ for emphasis, because she must have been blind not to recognize what he was doing, “what I’m trying to do here Marj. I’m trying to master level seven of Ninja’s Thermatology, where my eyes can absorb the direct heat from the hot curling iron. Alsooo, . . . mi can absorb the heat wid the inside a mi bottom lip. Ain’t that obvious?”EXCERPT 3Bert totally oblivious to the hill and gully in his chest that Clivey was talking about, Bert indifferently said,“A suh mi chest stay. Mi a get thick from morning. No pills.”“No Bert, mi know a nuh suh it stay. Mi know a sponge under deh fi buff up your chest. Mi a nuh idiot.”Bert slammed down his fart tonic on the bench and said,“You chat too much. A mi chest. A mi so-so chest.”“A nuh your chest. Lift up your blouse mek mi see if a so-so chest under deh.”Same time Clivey spotted the piece of sponge shifted up at the neck of his blouse. It was obvious now. A piece a sponge Bert have underneath deh. Bert replied,“Weh mi a tell lie fa!” He kissed his teeth and blatantly said, “God kill mi right yahso ten time if mi a tell lie.

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    The Long Shadow

      B. M. Bower
The Long Shadow

One of the famous American author who wrote novels, fictional short stories, and screenplays about the American Old West - B. M. Bower's present novel 'The Long Shadow' was first published in the year 1909.

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    Bluest Eyes in Texas (Second Edition) - Book 1

      S.A. Tadej
Bluest Eyes in Texas (Second Edition) - Book 1

After her father receives a large promotion at work, 21-year old Makenzie Adams is forced to move with her family from Oklahoma to Texas to finish her last year of college. She quickly falls in love and finds her soul mate in Caleb, one of her family’s new servants from the opposite side of the tracks. When her parents learn of the romance, the two are tragically forced apart.After her father receives a large promotion at work, 21-year old Makenzie Adams is forced to move with her family from Oklahoma to Texas to finish her last year of college. She quickly falls in love and finds her soul mate in Caleb, one of her family’s new servants from the opposite side of the tracks. When her parents learn of the romance, the two are tragically forced apart. Both are tortured and tormented by the gut wrenching pain that only the truest form of love can cause, as memories and images of each other continuously and relentlessly haunt them. The tale that enfolds is an unforgettable story of love and heartache that demonstrates how love can be powerful enough to conquer all.

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    The Treasure of Namakagon

      James A. Brakken
The Treasure of Namakagon

A twisting, turning, thrilling "lumberjack" adventure that takes place during the northern Wisconsin timber boom of the 1880s.Young lumberjack, Tor Loken, and old Chief Namakagon, work to foil a ruthless timber tycoon and protect the secret silver mine—a mine that truly existed and has yet to be rediscovered. 2nd place in the 2013 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards out of 10,000 worldwide entries.NOTE: This is the originally published version. Some minor details have been changed in later revisions. The story, though, remains the same. SEE REVIEWS FAR BELOW.It is 1883 and you are about to plunge into the peak of nineteenth century lumberjack life in northern Wisconsin. Meet sixteen-year-old Tor Loken, whose father owns a remote lumber camp, the Namakagon Timber Company. Join the fight when a sinister lumber baron takes control of the river, threatening the future of the camp. Learn the way of the woodsman from your mentor, Chief Namakagon. This old hermit just may show you the way to his secret silver mine.Be at the cook shanty table before dawn for breakfast with the men. Then it’s out into the cuttings where, knee deep in snow, you will help your camp harvest a hundred thousand giant pine logs this season. Hook up the Clydesdales to the water tanker and ice down the trails for the big timber sleighs. Take the train to the city for camp supplies but keep an eye out for cunning charlatans intent on an easy swindle. Spin a yarn or sing along with the other jacks in the bunkhouse. Go to town for a Saturday night of lumberjack merriment but dress warmly; it’s a six hour sleigh ride back to camp at twenty below zero. Come spring, you’ll help drive your camp’s timber down a thundering river, jumping from log to log as they rush downstream. Then it’s time to celebrate. But keep your pocketbook buttoned up when in town; there are bandits and thugs who want to separate you from your generous dollar-a-day wages! Put on your red wool mackinaw and your calked boots. Grab your peavey or a pike pole. You’re in for a good look at life in the pinery in the 1880s . . . and a twisting, turning, fact-based adventure story that will often leave you breathless.The legendary lost silver cache of Chief Namakagon will, most likely, be re-discovered one day. It's out there, waiting to be found. This book offers some clues about where to begin your search.The Treasure of Namakagon is based on history. References to the Namekagon River log drives, life in the logging camps, and fraudulent timber sales are based on true events, as is the gun play that resulted from a ploy to charge for timber floated past the dam. Many historical references help make this tale as close to real life as can be found in a fictional adventure. Although many still search for Chief Namakagon’s secret silver mine, it has yet to be rediscovered. Publisher’s Weekly Magazine“… A fascinating tale.” “… Rip-roaring action …” “… So well-written.” “Difficult to put down; a great read.” Amazon Books“The writing style of this piece is its greatest strength.” “The flow of the words is like an old fashioned song.”“Wonderfully written …. Compelling …. Captures the reader’s attention and keeps us reading.” A good piece of writing with suspense and action …” Jerry Apps, award-winning Wisconsin author"Vivifies the tumultuous nature of 19th-century life in the legendary north woods." Michael Perry, NYT bestselling Wisconsin author"Open with caution. You won't want to put this one down." LaMoine MacLaughlin, President, WI Writers Assn. Writer’s Digest“It’s the dialog and characters that drive The Treasure of Namakagon. It appears as if author James A. Brakken is determined to make a go of this series, and … he’s made at least one fan of this reader.” Judge, Writer’s Digest Book Awards

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    Kate

      Dwight W. Hunter
Kate

Kate was born, post Civil War, in Western Appalachia. Turning eighteen, tragedy forced her to face the world alone. A Bounty Hunter introduced her to a world populated by trains, hotels, steamships, fashionable clothes, society and tracking dangerous felons. Kate is a strong lady in all aspects of her life, willing to break cultural codes on how women were obliged to deport themselves.The recent Civil War had little effect on people living in the hills of Western Appalachia where Kate was born. Women struggled through a weary life in a corn-liquor culture dominated by hypocritical men holding to the tradition that women should be kept barefoot, silent, busy and pregnant. These male dominated customs were enforced by ego driven ignorant preachers.At eighteen Kate possessed a ripe body, an inquiring mind, an in tact virginity and a talent for hitting whatever came in the sights of her small-bore muzzleloader squirrel rifle.Within a fortnight two tragic events claimed the life’s of Kate’s father, two brothers and her mother. Kate was suddenly alone with two horses, a team of mules, some smaller livestock and a worn out farm in Painter Holler.While tracking two wanted men, a bounty hunter connected with Kate and learned the men he was seeking had met their end during a midnight shootout, when they attempted to rob Kate and her mother.With a storm in the offing, Brady accepted Kate’s invitation to stay at her house until the weather improved. During his visit Kate offered up her virginity and became Brady’s life partner. In return Brady introduced Kate to a world populated by trains, hotels, steamships fancy clothes and a life she lacked the knowledge to imagine.Traveling with Brady, Kate quickly transitioned into a mature young woman with a new vocabulary and demeanor able to feel at ease in formal afternoon teas wearing a holstered Derringer pistol under a fashionable dress or creeping around inside a dark, stinking, cheap saloon to arrest a wanted felon.Kate held up her half of the partnership by always being at Brady’s side and going gun to gun during showdowns with determined men and added more notches to her pistol than Brady.Following the Civil War, territories became states and municipal law enforcement replaced federal jurisdictions reducing the use of bounty hunters. Brady and Kate set aside their bounty hunting hats and formed Modern Investigation Agency to service civil cases and special contracts let by Federal Judge, Andrew Blake.

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    Bear Creek

      Dan Arnold
Bear Creek

When former Texas Ranger John Everett Sage took off on foot to catch a runaway horse from the train depot, he put his foot into something that would either change his life forever, or end it quicklyWhen former Texas Ranger, John Everett Sage, steps off a train to stretch his legs, he puts his foot into something that will change his life forever. A run away horse leads him in a new direction, one that will pull all the disparate elements of his life together. John will find his family, only to see them travel away in search of their own destiny. He’ll face new responsibilities, his personal limitations and the evil intentions of desperate men whose souls are lost to greed. Along the way he’ll win the trust of a community, the support of a governor and the love of a woman. Even though the newspapers will probably get it wrong, as Colorado prepares to enter the twentieth century, John Everett Sage will become part of the legend of the west.

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    The Pride of Palomar

      Peter B. Kyne
The Pride of Palomar

Peter B. Kyne (1880 – 1957) was an American novelist who wrote between 1904 and 1940. Many of his works were adapted into screenplays starting in the silent era, particularly his first novel, The Three Godfathers, which was published in 1913 and proved to be a huge success. He is credited in 110 films between 1914 and 1952. In this book: The Go-Getter The Pride of Palomar The Three Godfathers

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    Stage West - Lindsay

      Annie Pelle
Stage West - Lindsay

Lindsay Matthews has reached a painful decision to leave her home because the man she has loved for many years has pushed her away and said to leave him alone. Lindsay disappears and Nick Cates is bewildered by Lindsay’s sudden withdrawal from their life-long friendship because he isn’t aware that he has hurt her. These two will need the assistance of a rodeo rope trick.Lindsay Matthews has reached a critical and painful decision to leave her home because the man she has loved for many years has pushed her away and said to leave him alone. In the middle of a casual dinner between the two, Lindsay disappears and Nick Cates is bewildered by Lindsay’s sudden withdrawal from their life-long friendship because he isn’t aware that he has hurt her. These two need to work through the issues and will need the assistance of a rodeo rope trick. Lindsay is book two of the Stage West series.

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    The Story of Haybaler: A Saga of Generations

      Bradly Jay Keller, M.D.
The Story of Haybaler: A Saga of Generations

The Story of Haybaler, is a book about the lives of the Stiles family in hill country Texas. The author portrays the drama of individual lives as they unfold on life's stage. There are many pearls of wisdom to be gained from chapter to chapter. In fact, the book can be seen as a string of pearls, which begins and ends on a piece of land called Acorn Ridge.This book was written to entertain sick children at The Royal Children's Hospital in Victoria by a team from Riverside School in Tasmania, Australia, competing in ‘Write-a-Book-in-a-Day' Authors: Elouise Lethborg, Sarah Greenhouse, Ella Booth, Nicola Marshall, Robin Verhoeff, Ashley Badkin, Emma Brown, Charlie O’Toole, Connor Brophy, and Aishwarya Sudhakaran.We encourage you to pay for this book as all proceeds go to children's hospitals.

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    Ronicky Doone

      Max Brand
Ronicky Doone

Ronicky Doone is a hero of the west, respected by the law-abiding citizen and hated by bushwhacking bandits. Bill Gregg is a man in love, not about to be deflected from meeting his lady love for the first time, and willing to stand up to the living legend to reach her. This initial meeting leads to a friendship between the two and they travel east to New York City on the trail of the girl. When they find the girl, Caroline Smith, and she refuses to leave, Ronicky must discover the secret that holds her. They encounter the sinister John Mark and the beautiful Ruth Tolliver and are exposed to the horrors and vices of big city life as they attempt to rescue Caroline and find their way back to the mountain-desert of the west.

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    The Traveler (The Traveler Series, #1)

      Holly Newhouse
The Traveler (The Traveler Series, #1)

Meet Bethany Clayton who finds a journal with the power to allow her to travel into the past to meet her ancestors and fall in love with a very handsome gunslinger named Jebidiah Cole. They have several adventures including meeting the legendary "Dark One" also called the "Van Meter Monster" in the early 1900s.Meet Bethany Clayton who finds a journal with the power to allow her to travel into the past to meet her ancestors and fall in love with a very handsome gunslinger named Jebidiah Cole. They have several adventures including meeting the legendary "Dark One" also called the "Van Meter Monster" in the early 1900s. Will Bethany and Jebidiah's love survive the test of time or will the rip in the fabric of the universe right itself? Will they survive their meeting with the dark one or will they be pulled into the Eighth realm of Hell?

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    Henri Ville

      M. Chris Benner
Henri Ville

Relentlessly pursued by crooked marshals, idiot bounty hunters, and a psychotic pastor, infamous gunfighter Henri Ville takes the first steps in her epic journey to return home.On her last day of high school, Cassandra Devlin walked out of exams and into a forest. Surrounded by the wrong sort of trees, and animals never featured in any nature documentary, Cass is only sure of one thing: alone, she will be lucky to survive. The sprawl of abandoned blockish buildings Cass discovers offers her only more puzzles. Where are the people? What is the intoxicating mist which drifts off the buildings in the moonlight? And why does she feel like she's being watched? Increasingly unnerved, Cass is overjoyed at the arrival of the formidable Setari. Whisked to a world as technologically advanced as the first was primitive, where nanotech computers are grown inside people's skulls, and few have any interest in venturing outside the enormous whitestone cities, Cass finds herself processed as a 'stray', a refugee displaced by the gates torn between worlds. Struggling with an unfamiliar language and culture, she must adapt to virtual classrooms, friends who can teleport, and the ingrained attitude that strays are backward and slow. Can Cass ever find her way home? And after the people of her new world discover her unexpected value, will they be willing to let her leave?

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    Scratches

      Christopher Davis
Scratches

If you enjoy the old west with a twist, cowboy lawmen with guns blazing and outlaws, always on the take and of course dope, zombies and the strange flying machines of the elders….this one might be for you?Scratches starts as the Sacramento lawman—Dan Bardwell—falls from his saddle in front of the mission gates at Arroyo de la Cantua. After safely getting his man—or men rather—and riding away into the night, the lawman is awakened by a terrible buzzing which can’t be explained. With a blood moon rising across the range, he is confronted by the undead as he stands next to a little fire with a blued Navy Colt in each hand. The zombies continue to pile through the long nighttime hours until the bullets are no more. As he lies prostrate under an unforgiving desert sun, sand blows around his form and he has a series of delirious visions, where he meets Ahote—an old Indian friend—and Father John who may or may not really be there?Scratches is the first of a planned series of short stories written in support of the novel, Ain’t No Law in California—from Solstice Publishing, in which the Sacramento lawman, Dan Bardwell, rides through hell and high water on the trail of some outlaw or another. The short collects various bits from the rewrite of a follow-up novel which I hope to submit soon.If you enjoy the old west with a twist, cowboy lawmen with guns blazing and outlaws, always on the take and of course dope, zombies and the strange flying machines of the elders….this one might be for you?

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    Bar-20 Days

      William MacLeod Raine
Bar-20 Days

Two tired but happy punchers rode into the coast town and dismounted in front of the best hotel. Putting up their horses as quickly as possible they made arrangements for sleeping quarters and then hastened out to attend to business. Buck had been kind to delegate this mission to them and they would feel free to enjoy what pleasures the town might afford. While at that time the city was not what it is now, nevertheless it was capable of satisfying what demands might be made upon it by two very active and zealous cow-punchers. Their first experience began as they left the hotel. "Hey, you cow-wrastlers!" said a not unpleasant voice, and they turned suspiciously as it continued: "You've shore got to hang up them guns with the hotel clerk while you cavorts around on this range. This is fence country." They regarded the speaker's smiling face and twinkling eyes and laughed. "Well, yo're the foreman if you owns that badge," grinned Hopalong, cheerfully. "We don't need no guns, nohow, in this town, we don't. Plumb forgot we was toting them. But mebby you can tell us where lawyer Jeremiah T. Jones grazes in daylight?" "Right over yonder, second floor," replied the marshal. "An' come to think of it, mebby you better leave most of yore cash with the guns—somebody'll take it away from you if you don't. It'd be an awful temptation, an' flesh is weak." "Huh!" laughed Johnny, moving back into the hotel to leave his gun, closely followed by Hopalong. "Anybody that can turn that little trick on me an' Hoppy will shore earn every red cent; why, we've been to Kansas City!" As they emerged again Johnny slapped his pocket, from which sounded a musical jingling. "If them weak people try anything on us, we may come between them and their money!" he boasted.

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