defined, 409
goals and, 242, 243, 257, 326, 351, 352, 382
negotiations and, 342–345
self-concept and, 149
well-formed outcome and, 48, 50, 54, 371
metaphors:
appearance and, 293–294
beliefs and, 238–239
defined, 409
supporting change, 290–293, 296, 302
meta-programs:
behavior and, 136, 254
content domains, 247, 248–249, 254
defined, 409
examples of, 137, 152–153, 246
goals and, 367
language and, 135, 136, 244, 245–249, 257, 261, 272
preferred representational channels and, 221, 245–249, 254, 255–256, 276–277, 301
self-concept and, 131, 134–138, 149, 152, 221
Middleton, Rick, 173
mind:
anchors and, 26–28, 32
auditory cues and, 75–76, 82–84
body and, 41, 66–67, 93–96
breakthrough mind, 391–392
choices and, 44, 85
creativity and, 44, 85
emotional states and, 78–82
mental rehearsal and, 92–93
motivation and, 67–68
outcome frames and, 44–53
procrastination and, 69–75
sub-modalities and, 61–67, 84–85
thinking and, 17, 18, 38, 44
mind reading:
beliefs and, 234–242
conflict and, 338
defined, 409
details and, 221–223
key ideas, 256–257
language and, 202, 205, 221–223, 244–253, 257
maps of reality and, 220–221
meta-outcomes and, 242–244
nonverbal behaviors and, 202, 205, 206, 207–220, 256, 257
zooming in, 223–224, 256
zooming out, 225–227, 256
mirroring:
connections with others and, 176–179, 181
defined, 409
in groups, 219
nonverbal behaviors and, 212, 215, 219, 261
rapport and, 177–179, 198, 205
modality, defined, 410
modal operators, defined, 409
modeling:
change and, 197
creativity and, 312
defined, 410
learning from, 40
monochronic time orientation, 250–251
Montapert, Alfred A., 356
motivation:
beliefs and, 242–244
enthusiasm and, 100–103
generating energy, 104–105
goals and, 367
inner conflict and, 330–331
meta-programs and, 135, 136–137, 245, 383
mind and, 67–68
Navy SEALs training tips, 110–114, 122
persuasive communication and, 383
procrastination and, 75
rehearsing positive mental states, 117–118, 123
understanding, 101–103
motivation direction (meta-program):
defined, 410
See also meta-programs
names, 270
nationality/ethnicity, first impressions and, 173, 198
Navy SEALs training, 110–114, 122, 127
negotiation:
Conflict Integration Process compared to, 339–345, 352
meta-outcomes and, 342–345
process of, 339–340, 352
tips for, 340–342
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP):
defined, 410
evolution of, 36–37
options for additional development, 358–360
presuppositions of, 37–41, 45, 151, 186, 357
thinking and, 3–4
tools of, 34, 261, 340, 356–358
See also Discovery Activities
NLP: The New Technology of Achievement, 5, 361
nominalizations:
defined, 410
language and, 231–232
nonverbal behaviors:
cues in, 206–207, 211, 212, 213, 217, 219, 220, 226–227
examples of, 207–211
in groups, 218–219
incongruence and, 228, 257
interaction and, 184, 205
maps of reality and, 202, 256
matching and, 215–219, 256, 261, 267, 380
meaning of, 207, 211
positive experience of, 211–213
rapport and, 210, 216–218, 225
time orientation and, 250
uncomfortable situations and, 213–216
See also body language; and specific nonverbal behaviors
observer position:
defined, 410, 414
as third position, 169, 172, 185
olfactory mode, defined, 410
optimism:
confidence and, 105–107
as driver, 100–110
generating energy and, 105
in interactions, 187, 192, 193
positive inner dialogue and, 103
rehearsing positive mental states, 117, 118
options/procedures meta-program, 136, 137, 152, 246
“other” position:
defined, 410, 412
as second position, 169, 172, 176
outcome frames:
explanation of, 45–46
goals and, 45, 59
mind and, 44–53
outcomes, defined, 45, 410
Outlier (Gladwell), 393
overgeneralizations, 134, 152
pace, nonverbal behaviors, 210
pacing, defined, 410
panic management, 127
paralanguage:
defined, 411
inner conflict and, 228
matching, 216, 217, 261, 378
nonverbal behaviors and, 211, 212, 214
questions and, 230
Park, Rosa, 68
parroting, 270
parts, defined, 411
past-oriented time orientation, 252
peak performance:
accelerating learning, 388–389
amplifying excellence, 387
appreciation, 396–398
breakthrough mind, 391–392
encouraging peak performance, 390
practice of loving what you do, 393–395
resources and, 385–386
people, as a meta-program content domain, 247, 248, 249
perceptions, beliefs altering, 13
perceptual filters:
defined, 411
meta-programs as, 135
perceptual positions:
defined, 411
intentional use of, 170–172, 297
interactions and, 168–172, 176, 185, 192–193, 198, 228, 267, 297
See also first position (“self”); second position; third position
performance:
impact of expectations on, 90–91, 93, 101, 116, 118, 121, 122
mental rehearsal and, 92–93, 122
See also peak performance
personal appearance, 294–295
personal filters:
creativity and, 311
first impressions and, 161, 173–174, 197
personal possessions, 295–296
personal space requirements, 179, 199, 207–208
persuasive communication:
appearance and environment, 293–296, 302
appreciation and, 384
beliefs and, 284–289
feelings and, 381
heartfelt values and, 382
inner state and, 266–267
key concepts, 301–303
life mission and, 376–377
local language and, 272–280, 301
metaphors and stories, 290–293, 296, 302
motivation and, 383
physical alignment and, 380
rapport and, 202, 272, 302, 378–379, 382
ref
raming and, 280–284
tips for uncharted territory, 268–272
toxic relationships and, 296–299, 302
See also communication
physiological response, nonverbal behaviors, 210
physiology, and energy, 93–96, 116, 122
place, as a meta-program content domain, 247, 248, 249
point of view:
agreeing with, 268
beliefs and, 241
conflict and, 328
negotiation and, 344–345
polychronic time orientation, 250–251
Pomodoro Technique, 94–95, 122
positive intention:
behavior based on, 39, 196
beliefs embodying, 240, 286, 287, 288, 301
interactions and, 192–193, 196–197
See also intention
posture:
breaking rapport and, 219
curiosity and, 226–227
inner conflict and, 228
matching, 216, 217, 261
nonverbal behaviors and, 208, 211, 214
Potterat, Eric, 111
practice, 393–395
predicates:
defined, 411
matching, 302
mirroring, 374
preferred representational channels and, 138–139, 153, 272, 273, 274–275
self-concept and, 131, 138–139, 153
preferred representational systems/channels:
adapting to, 273, 378
defined, 408, 411
interactions and, 253–256
language and, 244–245, 254, 257
meta-programs and, 221, 245–249, 254, 255–256, 276–277, 301
predicates and, 138–139, 153, 272, 273, 274–275
thinking and, 23, 38
time and, 249–253, 255
See also auditory mode; kinesthetic mode; visual mode
presentation training, 32
present-oriented time orientation, 252–253
presuppositions (in NLP), defined, 412
proactive/reactive meta-program, 135, 137, 153, 246, 247, 277
procedures meta-program. See options/procedures meta-program
procedures-oriented, 136
process words, 378, 379
procrastination:
example of, 70–71
getting unstuck from, 67–68
resistance and, 69, 74–75
roots of, 69–73
slow motion image of, 72–73
productivity:
increasing, 116–121
living in “the zone” and, 90
questions for beginning of day, 86
taking breaks and, 94–95, 122
questions:
for beginning of day, 65–67, 86
beliefs and, 242–244, 301
conflict and emotions, 345–346, 348
connections with others and, 267–272
directing thinking with, 281
maps of reality and, 223, 227–228, 255
reframing and, 282, 284
sense of being felt and, 182–184
showing you care how others feel, 184–185, 189–191, 192, 194, 198
understanding facilitated by, 229–234
understanding someone’s belief, 285–286
well-formed outcomes and, 46–53, 85, 309, 310, 371–372
“why” questions, 268–269, 270
rapport:
assumptions and, 222
breaking rapport, 219–220
defined, 412
encouraging discussion and, 268–270
incongruence and, 229
listening skills and, 378–379, 382
meta-programs and, 272
mirroring and matching, 177–179, 198, 205
nonverbal behaviors and, 210, 216–218, 225
persuasive communication and, 202, 272, 302, 378–379, 382
physical alignment and, 380
zooming out and, 225
rate of speech, matching, 198, 214, 217, 261, 378
reactive meta-program. See proactive/reactive meta-program
Realist role, in Disney Creativity Strategy, 313, 314, 317
reality:
personal model of, 4, 18, 19–22, 24–26, 33, 38, 39
See also maps of reality
reflecting back, 183
reframing:
defined, 412
process of, 280–284
relationships:
meta-program preferences and, 277
NLP concepts and, 35–36
toxic relationships, 296–299, 302, 350
See also connections with others; interactions
The Relaxation Response (Benson), 128
rep modes. See representational modalities
representational modalities:
anchors and, 27
defined, 412
language and, 23, 38, 39, 244–253, 257, 261, 272–280
maps of reality and, 38–39
self-concept and, 141–142
structure of experience and, 85
thinking and, 22–26
as triggers, 35
See also preferred representational systems/channels; sub-modalities
resistance:
decreasing resistance or trauma, 96–99, 116–117
Eye Movement Integration, 96–99, 122
incongruence and, 95
procrastination and, 69, 74–75
reducing internal resistance, 74–75
resources:
accessing personal resources, 5–8, 40
creativity and, 311–312
defined, 412
peak performance and, 385–386
toxic relationships and, 296–299
well-formed outcomes and, 52, 55, 372
resource state, defined, 412
responsibilities, voluntary nature of, 66
Ropeik, David, 166
safety:
amygdala and, 113, 127
auditory cues and, 77–78
beliefs and, 240
helping others feel safe, 159, 167, 175–176, 194, 198, 199, 206, 262, 267, 269
nonverbal behaviors and, 213, 261
personal feelings of, 9
positive intention and, 39
sense of being felt and, 180–186, 198, 262, 267, 271, 350
Sama Veda, 44
second position (“other”):
defined, 410, 412
incongruence and, 228
interactions and, 169, 172, 176, 198
maps of reality and, 222–223
nonverbal behaviors and, 215
toxic relationships and, 297
zooming out and, 225–227
self-concept:
adding elements to, 145–148
beliefs and, 131, 132–134, 138, 149, 152
changing, 139, 150–151, 153, 161
core selves, 131
durability of, 143
example of self-concept work, 149–150
fluidity of, 143
identifying something you like about yourself, 140–145
impact of, 139
key ideas, 152–153
meta-programs and, 131, 134–138, 149, 152, 221
as prototype, 153
stress reduction and, 126–130, 152
self-position:
defined, 412
as first position, 168, 172
See also first position (“self”)
self-talk, 109, 110
See also inner voices
sensory acuity, defined, 412
sensory based, defined, 413
sensory input:
brain and, 22, 37
interpretation of, 10
sensory modalities, defined, 413
separator state, defined, 413
setbacks, as feedback, 45–46
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Covey), 375
Seymour, John, 135
Shaw, George Bernard, 202
shifting sub-modalities, 61
shyness, 33, 171, 175–176, 266
silence, 211, 224
six-step reframing, defined, 413
sliding anchors, 119
slowing down:
breathing, 93
meditation and, 128
mental movies, 72–73, 81, 86, 100
questions facilitating understanding and, 231
resistance and, 95
thinking, 5, 11, 15, 20, 23, 24, 137
understanding maps of reality and, 227–229, 257
understanding someone’s belief, 286
small wins, 120–121, 123
spatial anchors, 28, 32
specific meta-program. See general/specific meta-program
Springsteen, Bruce, 393
state:
defined, 413
See also emotional states; inner state
stereotypes:
assumptions and, 160–161, 173–174, 193
conflict and, 325
stimulus-response, defined, 413
Stone, W. Clement, 47
stories:
appearance and, 293–294
supporting change, 290–293, 296, 302
Strategies of Genius (Dilts), 312
strategy, defined, 413
stress:
panic management, 127
prevention of, 128–130
reduction, 112, 126–130
self-concept and, 126–130, 152
sub-modalities:
confidence and, 108
defined, 413
emotional state and, 65–67, 83–84, 102, 112, 261
enthusiasm and, 100
expectations and, 121
fine-tuning, 84–85, 86, 87, 118
goals and, 66
mind and, 61–67, 84–86
motivation and, 122
peak performance and, 387, 392
practice of loving what you do and, 393–394
as qualities within modalities, 61, 86
rehearsing positive mental states, 118, 123
self-concept and, 140–142, 146–147
of visual mode, 61–65, 86, 109
of auditory mode, 65, 109
of kinesthetic mode, 65, 109
success, victory list, 106–107, 112, 118
swish:
Auditory Swish, 75–76, 78, 81, 82, 116, 122
defined, 413
Swish Pattern, 390
Visual Swish, 81
synchronicities:
interactions and, 178–179, 181, 198, 202
nonverbal behaviors and, 212, 214, 216, 217, 219
technology:
communication and, 159, 359, 378
demands of, 375
things, as domain, 247, 248, 249
thinking:
anchors and, 26–28
autopilot and, 12–15
body and, 15–16, 38
brain and, 16, 18, 38, 44
creating feelings and, 10–12
key ideas, 37–41
mind and, 17, 18, 38, 44
questions directing, 281
representational modalities and, 22–26
as sensory-based, 3, 4
slowing down, 5, 11, 15, 20, 23, 24, 137
thought patterns, 4, 9
thought processes, 8–10, 18, 20, 23, 32–35
third position (“observer”):