defined, 414
interactions and, 169, 172, 185, 192–193, 198, 267
nonverbal behaviors and, 212, 214, 215
persuasive communication and, 292
zooming out and, 225–227, 256
Thoreau, Henry David, 260
3 P’s (personal, pervasive, permanent), 83, 87
time:
adapting to time differences, 278–279, 301
cultural time orientation, 250–251
future-oriented 252–253
language and, 244, 254, 257, 261, 272
negotiation and, 341, 342, 352
past-oriented 252–253
present-oriented 252–253
research on, 251–253
through time and in time, 249–250, 278–279
tone of voice:
as anchor, 32, 35
inner voices, 116
matching, 176, 214, 261, 378
as paralanguage, 211, 212
touch:
as anchor, 29, 30, 31, 32, 105, 119, 172, 265
connections with others and, 179
nonverbal behaviors and, 209, 212, 214
physical connection and, 262–265, 267
as trigger, 35
Touch Research Institute, University of Miami School of Medicine, 262–263
toward/away-from meta-program
adapting to preferences, 276–277
focus on, 136, 152
goals and, 367, 368, 383
interactions and, 247
questions answered by, 137, 246
toxic relationships, 296–299, 302, 350
Tracy, Brian, 90
tribal thinking, 237
Trickey, Keith V., 316
triggers:
anchors as, 35
beliefs and, 133
for emotional states, 79, 81, 86, 100
for procrastination, 73
21-day guide:
goals, 363–375
peak performance program, 385–398
persuasive communication, 376–384
using, 361–362
understanding:
beliefs and, 285–286, 288
conflict and, 347
connections with others and, 261
gaps in, 221–223, 261
interactions and, 195
listening skills and, 378
local language and, 272–273
questions facilitating, 229–234
slowing down, 227–229, 257, 286
zooming in, 223–224
zooming out, 225–227
universal quantifiers:
defined, 414
language and, 232
using metaphors, 290
values:
conflict in, 56, 85, 227
congruence and, 57
heartfelt values, 382
interactions and, 196
self-concept and, 131
time orientation and, 251
Vance, Mike, 313
victory list, 106–107, 112, 118, 123
visualization, 92–93, 122, 388
visual mode:
communication in, 202, 206, 227, 273, 274, 379
defined, 414
language and, 245
sub-modalities of, 61–65, 86
thinking and, 23, 24
Visual Swish, 81
Walt Disney Company, 313–319
well-formed outcomes:
collaboration and, 308–310, 351
congruence and, 59
creating, 53–56
defined, 414
goals and, 46, 47–56, 85, 242, 370–372, 376–377
questions involved in, 46–53, 85, 309, 310, 371–372
worksheet for, 54–55, 371–372
words of necessity, 133, 233
Wright, Frank Lloyd, 393
Zimbardo, Phil, 251–252
zone. See living in “the zone”
zooming in, 223–224, 256
zooming out:
appreciation, 396
interactions and, 225–227, 256, 267
persuasive communication and, 292, 301
warning signals for disengagement, 185–186, 198
About the Authors
Tom Dotz is a real entrepreneur. That means he’s experienced business and life from every side. He’s ridden the rocketing financial start-up bubble, and had it explode along with the rest of his life. He knows a brilliant business plan with the best financing can evaporate through no fault of your own. He knows you need resilience. When Tom took his first NLP training, he was so impressed that he founded the NLP Institute of California. Using NLP to market NLP, he created a powerhouse community and grew it to the largest organization of its kind in the U.S. in just four years. Now the owner of NLP Comprehensive, he leads the design of programs and products for real-life problems and opportunities.
Tom Hoobyar, NLP Master Practitioner, engineer, and high tech CEO, used his NLP skills and life experience to help individuals and businesses grow. He held thirty-seven patents in the biotech industry, including the original Radial-Diaphragm valve, as founding CEO and marketing strategist for ASEPCO, Inc. He took even more delight in his accomplishments as a happily married family man with three adult kids and seven grandchildren. He founded the NLP Café, and the international NLP Alumni study group. Through the NLP Café he conducted advanced programs in NLP for fifteen years, and served on the board of NLP Comprehensive, a world-leader in NLP training.
Susan Sanders helps organizations make learning and working easier, fun, and more meaningful. Her understanding of how people “work,” love of words, attention to beliefs and metaphor, and unique ability to organize ideas distinguish her approach and ability to create lasting change. A decade-long study of NLP enables Susan to integrate NLP concepts and strategies into writing and editing, instructional design, and training delivery.
Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.
Praise for NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming
“In our fifty years of publishing important works on self-improvement, NLP Comprehensive’s programs have been among our most well-regarded and bestselling. This new book NLP: The Essential Guide continues that fine tradition. It is a pleasure to recommend it.”
—Vic Conant, president, Nightingale-Conant
“NLP: The Essential Guide is a richly personal journey. You’ll enjoy the anecdotes as you’re guided through exploring how applying the principles and teachings of NLP anywhere and everywhere can make life easier and happier. A unique introduction to NLP where you will experience NLP not so much as a set of concepts, but alive and living.”
—Connirae Andreas, author of Core Transformation
“This is a book written to teach the reader ‘how-to’ put the principles of NLP into practice. It was written by two of the most interesting and passionate NLP practitioners in the world. This comes across in a fashion that makes it easy reading and ‘real’ learning, i.e. the explanations and exercises impart new and useful skills. It will teach a serious reader the nuts and bolts of the ‘operating software’ with which the mind works while dramatically improving their lives and communications with other people. It’s one of the best introductions into learning NLP in print.”
—Frank Bourke, president and founder,
NLP Research & Recognition Project
“A well-organized, practical guide to making NLP work in your life, the personal stories make it easy to relate to and bring the book alive.”
—Joseph O’Connor, author of Introducing NLP,
The NLP Workbook, and Coaching with NLP
“There must already be at least two hundred introductions to NLP, including our own book, Heart of the Mind, published twenty-three years ago. Why yet another? What is special about this book is that the authors apply the patterns and methods in many different areas of their own lives—thoroughly, and with care and creativity. It may seem a bit wandering at times, but th
e journey always ends with a heartwarming and human resolution.”
—Steve Andreas, author and publisher of the NLP Classics
“Tom and Tom can explain anything and make it clear, motivating and doable. I highly recommend this book. Great stories and techniques to live your life by.”
—Shelle Rose Charvet, author of Words That Change Minds
While there are many excellent technical introductions to NLP. NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming is instead a personal journey of using and applying NLP in real everyday life, to the ups and downs, to other people and with one’s self. As you read it, you’ll find yourself thinking in new ways and applying the techniques to your own personal challenges and opportunities.
In addition to the book, we have created a special website where we have online examples and demonstrations of everything in the book and more. You’ll find links to it throughout the book, and we will be adding to it as you request. This is also an online community and support system. It’s a place where you can ask questions and get answers.
NLP Comprehensive:
Founded in 1979, NLP Comprehensive has been at the leading edge of NLP ever since. From developing training to publishing, the company has maintained a reputation for the highest quality throughout its endeavors. To date it has published over fifty NLP titles including Nightingale-Conant’s highly popular NLP: The New Technology of Achievement. Most recently it has compiled and published to rave reviews its thirty years of training experience in the form of the “Portable NLP Practitioner Training,” a thirty-seven-DVD-based home study program. For these and other titles from NLP Comprehensive, go to www.nlpco.com.
Praise for NLP Comprehensive
“I have taken training with over 30 different NLP organizations, including founders of NLP. Your Practitioner training is by far the best I have experienced, head and shoulders above the quality of trainers and content offered elsewhere.”
—Alix von Uhde, certified NLP trainer and Life Coach, Colon, Germany
“NLP Comprehensive’s trainers and training gave me invaluable tools to model my own excellence and the excellence of others. As a result, I have built a 6-figure coaching practice which is improving the lives of thousands. I consider it required curriculum for life.”
“[After my Practitioner Training] you can imagine how eager I was to learn even more NLP to enhance my skills even further. I made the mistake of signing up for training with several different organizations because they happened to fit my schedule at the time. It was not until ‘suffering’ with boredom through poor facilitation, repetitive, low-level ‘get that kind of information anywhere’ classes that I realized what a quality training I had received from your organization in the first place. What others were offering as ‘Master Practitioner’ material, had already been thoroughly covered in your Practitioner Training! I have found the superb quality and variety of trainers you provided at your training to be unsurpassed.”
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Copyright
The NLP 21-Day Guide is adapted, with permission from NLP Comprehensive, from NLP: The New Technology of Achievement, © 1994 by NLP Comprehensive.
NLP: THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING. Copyright © 2013 by NLP Comprehensive. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.
FIRST EDITION
ISBN 978-0-06-208361-6
Epub Edition © FEBRUARY 2013 ISBN:9780062083623
Version 06152015
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