Part of a short story tribute anthology to Tolkien, found in After the King: Stories In Honor of J.R.R. Tolkien, it was also reprinted in My Favorite Fantasy Story, in The Oxford Book of Fantasy Stories, in The Mammoth Book of Comic Fantasy and was finally released as free online fiction.
TERRY PRATCHETT SERIES:
Everyone knows that the world is flat, and supported on the backs of four elephants. But weren't there supposed to be five? Indeed there were. So where is it?...
When duty calls. Commander Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork constabulary answers. Even when he doesn't want to. He's been "invited" to attend a royal function as both detective and diplomat. The one role he relishes; the other requires, well, ruby tights. Of course where cops (even those clad in tights) go, alas, crime follows. An attempted assassination and a theft soon lead to a desperate chase from the low halls of Discworld royalty to the legendary fat mines of Uberwald, where lard is found in underground seams along with tusks and teeth and other precious ivory artifacts. It's up to the dauntless Vimes -- bothered as usual by a familiar cast of Discworld inhabitants (you know, trolls, dwarfs, werewolves, vampires and such) -- to solve the puzzle of the missing pachyderm. Which of course he does. After all, solving mysteries is his job.
Unthinkingly inviting Uberwald's undead, the Magpyrs, into Lancre to celebrate the birth of his daughter, King Verence makes a big mistake. Really big. Because once they're ensconced within the castle, these wine-drinking, garlic-eating, sun-loving modern vampires have no intention of leaving. Ever. And only an uneasy alliance between a nervous young priest and the argumentative local witches can save the country from being taken over by people with a cultivated bloodlust and bad taste in silk waistcoats. As the Lancre living are about to discover, there's only one way to fight. Go for the throat, or as the vampyres themselves say ... carpe jugulum!
Discworld lives on in Unseen Academicals, the latest novel from Terry Pratchett. Delivering the trademark insight and humor readers the world over have come to expect from “the purely funniest English writer since Wodehouse” (Washington Post Book World), Unseen Academicals focuses on the wizards at Ankh-Morpork’s UnseenUniversity, who are reknowned for many things—sagacity, magic, and their love of teatime—as they attempt to conquer athletics.
There's been a murder. Allegedly. William de Worde is the Discworld's first investigative journalist. He didn't mean to be - it was just an accident. But, as William fills his pages with reports of local club meetings and pictures of humorously shaped vegetables, dark forces high up in Ankh-Morpork's society are plotting to overthrow the city's ruler, Lord Vetinari.