Russell's Book of Secrets, Page 3

  * * *

  “You are such a hoe, Mattie!” Charlene giggled as she cradled the phone receiver between her ear and shoulder. She was painting her nails and chatting with her best friend while dinner simmered on low in the kitchen and she waited on her parents to return home from work. All the dirty clothes were washed, folded, and put away and the house was spotless. Her little brother was outside playing with friends in the backyard and she was enjoying a few minutes to herself.

  Charlene dipped the brush into the bottle of Raging Hot Rod Cherry fingernail polish and began to apply the second coat of nail polish while she listened to Mattie tell the story of her latest exploits with her boyfriend. Charlene was jealous of her friend. She longed for a life outside these walls where she could be her own person, go to school, be free from chores, meet a cute man and fall in love.

  “What are you doing tonight?” asked Mattie.

  “You know my life. I got dinner on now and waiting on my mama and daddy to get home. When they get here I’m sure they’ll have a million things for me to do.”

  Mattie sucked her teeth. “I’m going to a party tonight and I want you to come.”

  “Girl you know I can’t. I’m not supposed to be out late and besides, we have church in the morning.”

  “Well get everything done early and then sneak out with me. I’ll have you back before church. I promise,” pleaded Mattie.

  “I don’t know… I really don’t want to get in trouble. You don’t know how they can get.” Charlene kicked the phone cord that was draped across the floor with her feet.

  “Charlene, live it a little. You’ve been cooped up in that house all weekend long, ripping and running for them. It won’t hurt you to get out for a couple of hours and have some fun.”

  “Okay, okay, okay,” Charlene acquiesced. “What time do I need to be ready?”

  “I’ll be at your house by twelve,” said Mattie.

  “Just don’t pull into my driveway. Stop up the street around the corner. I’ll be waiting there for you at twelve.”

  “Okay!”

  “And don’t be late, Mattie!”

  “I won’t, I promise.”

  “If you’re a single minute late, I’m turning around and going back home!”

  “Okay, Charlene! I’ll see you later.”

  “Bye, girl!”

  * * *

  The clock in Charlene’s bedroom read 11:45pm as she stood in the mirror and surveyed the dress she’d decided to wear to the party. The short red dress highlighted her curvy frame and matched her Raging Hot Rod Cherry nails perfectly. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the floorboards outside her door groan as footsteps made their way down the hall. Charlene whisked herself into her bed and pulled the covers up to her neck and pretended to sleep.

  The door to her bedroom opened and her mother stepped inside. Charlene swallowed hard as she felt the edge of the bed give way to the weight of her mother’s body. Her mother leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

  “Thank you for all your help today, baby,” she whispered.

  Charlene faked a yawn. “You’re welcome.”

  “I’m sorry about the school thing. You know we love you, Charlene. I wish things could be different.”

  “I love you too, mama.” Charlene rolled over and clutched the blanket tightly against her chin. This conversation brought back the sting that she felt earlier this morning when her mother crushed her dreams in the kitchen.

  Her mother sighed deeply as she leaned in to kiss Charlene again before she exited the room. When Charlene heard the door close softly, she sat up in bed. This confirmed everything for her. She was getting out of here tonight. She needed to break away from this house and have fun, even if it was only for one night. Maybe a change of scenery would help her devise a plan for how she would escape and start the rest of her life.

  Charlene adorned her lips with shiny lip gloss and straightened her hair in the mirror. She took one last look at her outfit before she grabbed her purse and black pumps and slowly lifted the window. She winced when it creaked and waited to hear footsteps coming down the hall. When the coast was clear, she opened the window completely and slipped outside.

  The cool, soft grass met her feet when she landed in the yard. She slowly lowered the window and placed the high-heeled pumps on her feet. Charlene edged along the side of the house and peered into the living room window. Her father was snoring on the sofa while a WWF marathon played in the background. Her mother had most likely already headed to bed.

  She tiptoed down the driveway and breathed a sigh of relief when saw the headlights from Mattie’s car shining through the trees around the corner. Charlene trotted to the car and slipped in the passenger’s side door. Mattie was sitting behind the wheel applying mascara while she waited. Her hair was shaped in a neat afro and the moonlight cast a soft glow on her beautiful and even-toned dark skin.

  “So you tell me not to be late but you can take your time?” asked Mattie without hesitating from applying her make-up.

  “I got held up. Mama came into my room and I had to play sleep.”

  “Look at you,” Mattie said with a smile. “You’re becoming a pro at this.”

  “I felt bad about sneaking out at first until she reminded me that they weren’t allowing me to go to UV.”

  Mattie slammed her compact shut, threw it into the backseat and shook her head as she pulled out and sped down the street. “I know you love your parents, but I really don’t agree with how they’re treating you. It’s like you’re a prisoner in your own house.”

  “I know and I want to get out but then I feel bad for wanting to leave. They sacrificed so much for me over the years. Wouldn’t it be wrong if I left them when they needed me?”

  “Charlene, it’s like this. You didn’t ask to be here. It’s selfish of them to ask you to put your life on hold to stay here for them. There’s nothing in this town for you, me, or anyone. If you want to make something of yourself, you need to leave. Maybe if you get out of here you can be successful and be in more of a position to help your parents with something besides chores.”

  Charlene sighed and looked out the window. “Yea, you’re right. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t go to college without their permission and I don’t have any money to move out on my own.”

  “Try talking to them again. Tell them you’re going and there’s nothing they can do to stop you.”

  “Only if you agree to be my organ donor after they’re done beating my ass.”

  They both laughed but Charlene’s laughter was short-lived. Her laugh faded to a smile and eventually twisted into a frown as she watched the streetlights pass over head and light flashed through the interior of the car. She wondered what would happen if she ran away. Where would she go? What would her parents think? Would they disown her? She exhaled again. The only thing that was certain in her future was those four solid brick walls that trapped her and her dreams every day of her life.

  Time passed quickly as Mattie’s car careened through the highways and eventually they pulled into the parking lot of an apartment complex. The lot was packed with cars and people were dispersed randomly throughout the area, some were walking about laughing and talking and others were sitting on the hoods of cars smoking cigarettes, or what appeared to be cigarettes.

  “You ready, honey?” asked Mattie with a wink.

  “I guess,” Charlene said nervously as her eyes darted about the area.

  The two girls stepped from the car and began to walk towards an apartment building at the far end of the parking lot. It was obvious the party was happening there because the door kept opening and closing, spewing people and the sound of music into the lot.

  “Mattie, you shole is lookin’ good ta-NITE!”

  “Thank you,” said Mattie without breaking stride.

  Charlene stopped and looked at the man but Mattie snatched her back with such force that he
r shoulder almost came out of the socket. “Keep it movin’, Charlene. He ain’t nothing but trouble.”

  “Don’t be like that, Mattie! You and your friend bring ya’ll sexy asses on ova here and talk to daddy!”

  “Go to hell, Rufus!” bellowed Mattie over her shoulder while they continued to walk briskly to the apartment. Mattie looked at Charlene and whispered, “Rufus need to take his ass to somebody’s retirement home. Always out scheming and scamming after young women, knowing he old enough to be somebody’s daddy. Come to daddy is right!”

  Charlene smiled uncomfortably.

  “You need to loosen up,” said Mattie as she nudged Charlene in the arm. “You don’t have anything to worry about. I won’t let anything happen to you… and I promise I will have you home in time enough for communion in the morning.” Mattie clapped her hands together and mimicked a prayer.

  “Very funny,” said Charlene with a giggle.

  They walked inside the apartment and Charlene’s eyes almost bugged out of her head. Clouds of smoke wafted randomly through the air and music was blasting so loud that the walls were shaking. The apartment was packed with people and everyone seemed to be having a great time. Some people were standing around talking, some were dancing, and a few had even passed out randomly about the place.

  “Mattie! Hey!” A rather plump girl waddled over to Mattie with her arms outstretched. She reeked of whiskey. After she hugged Mattie she stepped back with a look of surprise. “Charlene?”

  “Yes. It’s me Rhonda. How are you?”

  “Surprised that yo mama ‘nem let you out the house,” said Rhonda as she looked Charlene up and down.

  Charlene sneered without responding.

  “Rhonda,” said Mattie, “I need a light for my cigarette. Can you find me a lighter please?”

  “Mmhmm,” said Rhonda as she walked away, eyeing Charlene out the corner of her eye.

  “Don’t mind her,” Mattie whispered to Charlene when Rhonda disappeared into the kitchen.

  “She never liked me and I don’t know why,” said Charlene. “She always has to get smart with me.”

  “Hopefully there’s enough snacks to keep her fat ass busy for a while,” said Mattie between laughs. “There’s a cooler of beer over there. Let’s go get a drink.” Mattie grabbed Charlene by the hand and dragged her through the room.

  Charlene apologized as she bumped and squeezed by strangers while Mattie led her to the corner of the room. A blue cooler sat on the floor next to a table of four people playing a rather intense card game. Mattie lifted the top and pulled two cans of Budweiser from the ice.

  The can of beer felt ice cold to the touch as Charlene popped the top. She took a sip and gagged. “This is disgusting!”

  “You get used to it,” said Mattie while she sipped her Budweiser.

  “Is Chance meeting you here?” asked Charlene. She was hoping that Mattie’s boyfriend wouldn’t show up and give Mattie an excuse to leave her alone at this party.

  “Last time I talked to him he said he’d be here when I got here but I don’t see him yet.” Mattie looked around the room in search of Chance. Charlene knew that Mattie found him when her face instantly brightened.

  The two of them turned and waved as Chance spotted them and walked over.

  “Hey baby,” Chance said before kissing Mattie on the lips.

  Mattie grinned and returned the kiss.

  “I’m surprised to see you out and about, Charlene.” Chance gave Charlene a hug.

  The smell of Chance’s cologne filled Charlene’s nose. That man looked and smelled like an Egyptian god. She couldn’t help but think how lucky Mattie was. Not only did she have a fine man but he smelled good too.

  “I have to get out now and again,” said Charlene as she stepped back from the embrace.

  Chance chuckled as he pulled Mattie into a loving embrace. Mattie smiled as she rested her head on his chest.

  Feeling uncomfortable from the public displays of affection, Charlene scanned the room for an excuse to walk away. “I think I’ll go see what’s to drink in the kitchen… I’m really not a fan of beer. Anybody want anything?”

  Neither Chance nor Mattie answered because they had become entangled in a deep and passionate kiss. Charlene sighed and made her way to the kitchen.

  The kitchen was small and the olive green refrigerator in the far corner of the room blended in with the walls that were painted the same color. On the counter were various bottles of liquor and accompanying mixers. Charlene began searching the kitchen for a cup to make a drink when a voice over her shoulder startled her.

  “You look like you need a drink.”

  Charlene spun around and locked eyes with a tall, and rather handsome, brown-skinned man. “Um,” she struggled to find the words. “I can’t find the cups.”

  “That’s because someone moved them,” the man said as he turned to walk away.

  “Where are you going?” asked Charlene.

  A brief moment later the man reappeared in the doorway to the kitchen holding a bag of white foam cups. “Ta-da!” he exclaimed.

  Charlene smiled. “Thank you,” she said as she took the bag of cups from his hand.

  “You’re welcome. What are you making?”

  “I don’t know,” said Charlene as she surveyed the options lining the counter. “I don’t usually drink so I’m not sure what to make or even how to make anything.”

  “Maybe I can help.”

  “Sure.” Charlene stepped aside and the man walked up to the counter and began concocting a drink.

  “Try this,” he said after a few moments and held up a cup.

  Charlene took a sip and grinned. “This isn’t too bad.”

  “Glad you like it,” the man said as he picked up his cup.

  “What are you drinking?” asked Charlene.

  “Seagram’s Extra Dry Gin. It’s my favorite.”

  “I’ve never had that before,” said Charlene.

  “It’s an acquired taste.”

  They locked eyes and Charlene felt her heart flutter momentarily. She’d forgotten all about Mattie and Chance. She didn’t even know this man’s name but she couldn’t deny the gravitational pull he had on her.

  Charlene leaned against the counter and took another sip of her drink as the man smiled at her. She’d never had much experience dating before, but she had a feeling that this guy was definitely interested in her and she couldn’t deny that he intrigued her as well. She felt herself daydreaming about him whisking her away from the prison of her parent’s house and the never-ending chores. Maybe this was meant to be. She was supposed to sneak out of the house tonight and go to this party for a reason. She smiled at the prospects of her future that a few hours ago didn’t even exist.

  “So, what’s your name?” she managed to ask while smiling and staring into his eyes.

  END CHARLENE

  The Father

  I sit on the couch as the volume from the cartoon show I’m watching blares throughout the living room. I stretch my legs out and look at my toes as I wiggle them back and forth. My feet just barely hang off the edge of the old blue floral sofa. I’m almost six years old now and I don’t know how long it will be before I’m able to sit on the couch and my feet touch the floor like my daddy.

  When the yelling starts from the back of the apartment, I grip my blanket and hold it close to me. My hand shakes as I reach for the remote to turn up the volume, hoping that the noise of the cartoons will drown out the sounds of the fight between my mama and daddy.

  Mama walks briskly from the back of the apartment and into the living room with my daddy on her heels. He’s screaming at her but she throws her hand back into his face. He grabs her by the back of her neck and throws her to the floor in front of the television. I don’t move from my spot on the couch but I stare down at my mama lying on the floor. As often as this happens it still scares me every time. I don’t tell anybody though
; I really don’t like to talk about it.

  My attention shifts from the cartoons dancing across the television screen to the horrible scene acted out by my parents. When my mother stands up from the floor, she apologizes to my father but he’s too angry to accept. He reaches back and slaps her so hard that she falls onto the coffee table and knocks everything onto the floor with her.

  When she rolls over, I see that her lip is bleeding. I shift to go to her side but I stop when I feel my father’s cold stare. He orders me not to leave my spot on the couch, so I sit back and continue to hug my blanket. The soft surface of the fleece rubs against my neck and comforts me; I imagine myself rubbing my blanket against my mother too – providing her with the same comfort.

  My father steps over my mother and opens the hall closet. He slips on a jacket, walks out the front door and slams it behind him, startling both my mother and me. She rolls over and slowly pushes herself up onto her knees by the palms of her hands. I do not dare to vacate my spot on the couch per my father’s orders.

  She eventually stands to her feet, completely ignoring me, and walks to the bathroom. The characters on the television screen try their best to regain my attention, but their efforts are in vain. My gaze is focused on the hallway, awaiting my mother to emerge from the bathroom.

  Moments later, she walks back into the living room and kneels down to pick up the shattered what-nots, as she likes to call them, from the floor. I think that she forgets that I’m still in the room until she speaks to me.

  “I’m sorry that you had to see that,” she says.

  I twirl the corner of the blanket uncomfortably without responding.

  “Your daddy gets so angry with me sometimes.” She picks up the last of the ornaments from the floor and disappears into the dark hallway. When she emerges, she has an ironing board and iron. She sets up the board, reaches into a laundry basket on the floor, pulls one of my father’s work uniforms from the pile and places it onto the ironing board.

  She touches her lip and winces in pain, but she continues to complete her ironing. I watch her slowly move the hot iron back and forth along the fabric of the shirt as steam slowly rises into the air. When she is done ironing the shirt, she turns to reach for a wire hanger and notices me watching her.

  “You’re not upset at me are you?” she asks.