Katyhasn’tcomeoutofthe
bedroom,sinceMaddoxputherthere yesterday.Whenwereachthenextvenue,I makemywaytotheroom.Iknocklightly beforeopeningthedoor.Katyislyingon thebed,facingawayfromthedoor.
Ishutthedoor,thensitontheedgeofthe bed.
“Katy.”
“What?”
“Wil youlookatme?Please.”
Whensheturns,hereyesarered.My stomachdrops.It’smyfaultshe’sbeen crying.
“I’msosorry.”
Shelooksconfused.“Forwhat?”
“Ishouldn’thavejumpedhimlike that.”
“No,youshouldn’thave.Youshould haveletmedealwithhim.”
“WhenIwalkedoutandsawhim
kissingyou,Ilostit.”
Shesighs,“Kel an,Iunderstandthat,but youhavetothinkbeforeyouact.Thisjust causedawholelotofshitthatcouldhave beenprevented,notonlyformebutfor you.”
Sheslidesclosertome.“Seeyoudon’t knowColtlikeIdo.Heisverysneaky.He camethereforareason.Don’tyouthinkit’s funnyhowaphotographerjusthappened tobetherewhenyouwerebeatingthecrap outofhim.”
“Idon’tcarewhyhewasthere.”
“Wel ,maybeyoushould.”
“Katy,hewastouchingyouandhad hismouthonyou,”Igrowl.“WhatIwantto knowiswhyyouwerekissinghimback?”
Shesitsup,“holdon.YouthinkIwaskissing himback?”
“Isawyou.Youwereholdingonto him.Itlookedlikeyouwereenjoying yourself.”
Sheshovesmeaway.“Haveyoulostyour damnmind?”
Now,sheisyel ingatmeandIamgetting pissedoffal overagain.IknowwhatIsaw.
“No.”Isaythroughgrittedteeth.
“Katy,IknowwhatIsaw,andyouwere kissinghimback.Isthiswhatyoudowhen I’mnotaround?YouplayingmeandColt?
Areyoudoingthistogetbackatmeforthe wholewomanpregnantthing?Howcould youtellmeyoulovemethenkissColtwhile I’monstage?”
IknowIneedtoshutthefuckup,butIcan’t seemtomakemymouthstop.
Sheisstandingnow.“Kel an…”shetakesa deepbreath.“Ofal thepeopleinmylife,I reallythoughtyouweretheonewhoknew mebest,IguessIwaswrong,inmoreways thanone.”
Sheturnsandgrabsherjacket.Then,turns backtolookatme.Tearsarestreaming downhercheeks.
“Iloveyouandhaveforalongtime.
ThefactthatIamstil hereafterallthisshit withthatwoman,shouldtel youthat,but whatyoujustaccusedmeoftel smethat youdon’tlovemethesame.Ifyoudid,then youwouldknowIwouldneverdoany that.”
“Loveme?Iambeginningtowonder ifyouevenknowwhatthatwordsmeans.
YousaythatandjustyesterdayIcaughtyou kissingColt.Youtellinghimyoulovehim too,whenI’mnotaround?”
Icanseetheangerandhurtshowinginher beautifulgreeneyes,butIdon’tcare.My angerhasnowrisenandwon’tbeputout.
“Ifyouhadgivenmejustaminute longerbeforeyousocausallysteppedin, youwouldhaveseenmekneehimand punchhimintheface,asthat’swhatIwas goingtodo.Asfarasknowwhattheword
lovemeans,Iknowbetterthananyone whatthatwordmeanssoyoucangoto hel .”
Shestepsaroundtheendofthebedtoward thedoor.Ireachoutforher,butshejerks herarmaway.“Don’t.”
“Please,Katy.I’msorry.”
“YouknowKel an,IwishIcould
believeyou.Ithinkit’stimeIgo.”
“No!”Ijumpup.
“Yes.Ithinkwearedonehere.”
Doesshemeanthetalk,thevisitorus?I honestlycan’ttel butifIhadtoguess,I wouldsayal three.
Chapter27
Kellan
Irunmyhandsdownmyface.Fuck!I thinkIjustfuckedupthebestthingtoever happentome.Ipunchthewall,before walkingoutofthebedroom.
Alltheguysarethere,staringatme.
“Don’tsayanything.Ineedtimetothink.”
“Ithinkyouneedmorethantimeto think,youass.”IhearmurmuredasIexit thebus.
ThatnightMaddoxhasusinahotelinstead ofonthebus.HegotKatyherownroom, whichisfinewithme.Ineedthetimetoget myheadonstraight.
I’minmyroomgettingreadyfortheshow whenthereisaknockonthedoor.
Openingit,Maddoxisstandingthere.
“We’releavinginfivetoheadtothe venue.Thecariswaiting,”isallhesays beforeturningandleaving.Iknowheis pissedatme,hel al theguysare.Ijust can’tseemtowrapmyheadaround everything.
Idon’tseeKatyagain,beforewe havegottogoon.Iknow,Ifuckedup royally.
I’mintheartistlounge,aboutahalfof bottleofvodkain,whentwowomenwalk intotheroom.
“CanIhelpyou?”
Theylookateachother,beforesauntering overtowardme.“Sure,youcan.”
Iwaketothesoundofcommotion.Ireach forKaty,andwhenIcatchthescentofthe womanbesideme,Iknowit’snotKaty.
MyeyesspringopenandIsitstraightup, justasthedooropens.
“Katy,wait!”
“Maddox,Ineedtotalktohim.”
“Kel…”
Ohfuck!Ilooktothewomaninmybed, thenbacktothedoor,whereKatyisnow standing,lookingatme.
“Icanexplain…Ithink.”
Katydoesn’tsayanything,justturnsand walksbackoutthedoor,slammingitshut.
“Katy,wait!!”Iyel atthedoor.
Thewomanthatisbesideme,getsup,looks atme,says,“myjobhereisdone,”grabs herclothesandleavestheroom.
Whatinthehel doesthatmean?Ihonestly don’tknow,butmyheadishurtingsobad rightnow,Isurprisedmyeyesarestillopen.
Laterthatday,Iamsittingonthecouchin myroom,whenmyphonerings.Hopingit’s Katy,Ilookdownatit,it’sBradley.Ianswer it.
Idon’tevensayhello.“Yougotnews?”
“Dude,thesepeopleareseriously crazy.”
“Why,whatdidyoufind.”
“Let’sstartwithColtfirst.”
“Ok.”
“HisnameisColtHarrisonBlack.He doesn’tstayinoneplacelong.Itappearshe isaconartist.Hepraysonolderrich people.Oncehegetsthemtotrusthimand signoversome,ifnotalloftheirmillions, heleavesandmovesontothenext.”
“WhataboutMs.Black?”Iask.
“SheisthesisterofMr.ColtBlack.
Sheapparentlyishissidekickforlackofa betterword.Thosepapersshegaveyouare fakeandshewasonlydoingitsothatKaty wouldleaveyouandgobacktoColt.Sheis marriedtoahigh-profileSenator.”
“Sendmeeverythingyouhave.
Thanksdude.”
“Yeap.”
IgotofindKaty,whenIdon’tfindherinher room,Iassumesheisonthebus,so,Ihead thatway.WhenIstepon,Maddoxputsa handonmychest.
Ilookdownathishand,beforesaying,
“What?”
“You’reoneofmybestfriendsand it’sagoodthingyouare,otherwiseIwould kickthecrapoutofyou,rightnow.”
“IknowIfuckedup,butIhaveto makethisrightwithKatyfirst.”
Henods,andIheadtowardthebedroom.
Openingthedoor,Iseeit’sempty.There’sa noteonthebed.
Kellan,
I’vegonehome.I’msorryallofthis happened,mostlyI’msorryaboutus.When youtoldmethatIdidn’tloveyouanddidn’t knowthemeaningoftheword,thatreally hurtme.I’veonlywantedyouforsolong, it’scrazyreally.Ithoughtyouknewme betterthananyoneelse,butfromwhatyou
saidtome,IhaveconcludedIwaswrong.
JustwhenIthoughtwecouldworkthrough this,
Icomeintoyourroomandfindyou withanotherwoman.Iloveyou,but cheatingistheonethingIcan’tforgiveor forget,besidesthat,youdon’ttrustmeor believeme.Whatwehadthesepastseveral months,Iwil neverforget.So,Ibelievebest ifweendthisnowbeforeitgetsanyworse.
Itcrushesmetosaythat,butIthinkit’s what’sbest.Iloveyouandalwayswil .I hopesomedaywecanbefriendsagainbut fornow,I’maskingthatyougivemesome space.
Lovealways,
Katy
IcrushtheletterasIfeelmyheartshatter intoamillionpieces.Thisisallmyfault.
I’vetriedtocallKatyeverydayfor thelastweek,tonoavail.Iteitherisn’t turnedonorsheishittingignoreasitgoes
straighttovoicemail.Ievencalledthestore, onlytobetoldshewasoff.
I’msittingonthebuswithmyhead leanedbackagainstthebackofthecouch whensomeonesitsbesideme.Turningmy head,Daneisstaringatme.
“What?”
“Howbaddidyoufuckup?”
Iturnmyheadbackaround,“realbad.”
“Whathappened?”
“Youallknowwegotintoafighton thebus,andlet’sjustsay,Isaidsomereally awfulstuffandIendedupinthebedwith someoneelse,andshewalkedinonus.
Funnythingis,Idon’tknowhowIevengot tobed.ThelastthingIrememberisbeingin theartistlounge.”
“Shelovesyou,justgivehersome time.Ifyou’reluckyshemightforgiveyou.”
Isqueezemyeyesclosed,“Idon’tknow.I toldhershedidn’tknowwhattheword
lovemeantandthatsinceIcaughther kissingthatprick,thatIknewshewaslying tome,andwasprobablytellingColtthe samething.”
Daneletsoutasmal laugh,“Dudewhen youfuckup,youdoitgood,huh?Listen, thefirstthingIwantyoutodoisreally think,ok?”
“Yeah,ok.”
“Whenyoucameoutoftheback
door,whatdidyoureallysee?Not,what youthoughtyousaw,butwhatyoureally saw?”
Iclosemyeyesandthinkbacktothatnight.
Iopenedthedoor,sawKatypressedup againstthebusherhands-onColt’s shoulders,butshewasn’tpul inghim closer,noshewas…fuck!Isitstraightup.I lookatDane.“Shewastryingtopushhim away.”
Danejustsmiles,“Kel an.Katyhasbeenin lovewithyouforalongtimeandyouwere
theonlyonewhodidn’tknowit.Shewould neverdoanythingtojeopardizelosingyou.”
“Now,thesecondthingIwantyouto doisthinkbacktothenightintheartist lounge.Whatwereyoudoingwhenthe womancamein?Ifyoucanretraceyour stepsmaybeyoucanputtheevents together.”
Then,hehandsmeamagazine.Ilookdown atit.Onthefrontpageisapictureofme punchingColtwithKatystandinginthe backgroundeyeswide.Fuck,herewego withthestories.Irememberthelookon Katy’sfacewhenIwasthrowinghateful wordsather,andthenthelookonherface whenshesawmeinbedwiththatchick.
It’stimeIfixedthismess.Ican’tloseher.
“Ineedtocallabandmeeting.Ineed therestoftheguys.”
Onceweareal gatheredbackonthebus,I start.“Look,I’msorryaboutallthismess.I havetofixitandIneedyourhelp.”
ItellthemaboutwhatBradleytoldme.
Then,Itel themaboutthatnightonthe bus,andtheartistlounge,al thewayup untilKatywalkedintomyroom,followedby myplantogetherback.
Twodayslater,Ihaveameetingwith ColtandMs.Brown.Iwaitforthemto entertherestaurantbeforeIgoin.
JustasI’mabouttoopenthedoor,Maddox stepsintomypath.
“Ineedtotellyousomethingbefore yougointhere.”
“Ok,goahead.I’mlistening.”
“Thatgirl,theoneyouwereinbed with.Wel ,Itrackedherdown.Hernameis Sara,she’stwenty-twoandworksforone Mrs.Brown.Actually,herhusbandbut anywaysMrs.Brownpaidhertwothousand dollarstomakeitlooklikeyoucheatedon Katy.”
“Whatthehel ?”
“Oh,andanotherthing.Youdidn’t actuallysleepwithher.Shesaidyouwere toodrunktoactuallydoanything,soshe madeitlooklikeyoudid.”
“Wel sonofabitch!”
Ilookdownatthecopyofpapersinmy handsthatBradleysentme,thenbackto Maddox.Wel ,heregoesnothing.
WhenColtseesme,herises.Mrs.Brown juststaresatme.
“Sit.”
“Wehavenothingtotalkabout.”
“Sure,wedo.Sit.”
“I’mmeetingsomeone.”
“You’relookingatthatsomeone.
Katy’snotcoming.”
Hestaresatmeforaminutebeforefinal y, slowly,sitting.“Whatdoyouwant?”
“Didyouenjoythatlittlegirlthe othernight?”
Wel ,shit!Iwasn’texpectinghertobringit upbutsinceshedid,Iwil bedamnedifIlet herknowsheaccomplishedexactlywhat shesetouttodo.Soinsteadofanswering her,IturnmyattentionbacktoColt.
“See,here’sthedeal.Iknowthatyou areaconandthatyourbitchofasister here,isalsoacon.Ialsoknowthatsheis marriedtoaSenator.So,youaregoingto leaveKatyaloneandIwon’texposeyou andwhatyoudotoeveryone.”
IturnandfaceMrs.Brown.
“Youaregoingtoleaveandnever showyourfacearoundagain.Youareto neverbothermeorKatyeveragain.Ifyou don’t,Iwil takeeverypieceofevidenceto yourhusbandandexposeyou.”
Thecolordrainsfromherface.
“Youcan’tbeserious?Allofthisover somebitch.Ididn’tseeanythingabouther thatissogreat.”
Igritmyteeth.“First,sheisnotabitchand ifyoucallherthatagain,Iwillcallyour husbandrightnowandsendhimacopyof thepaperIhavethatprovesyouhadan abortionlastyearwithouthisknowledge.”
Now,hermouthishangingopen.
“Second,Ihavepapersrightherethat youbotharegoingtosign,guaranteeing thatyouwillleaveusalone.”
Ihandthemthepapers.
“Andifwedon’tdothis?”
Ismile.“Then,everyonewillknowexactly whoyouareandwhatyoudoandyour sisterhere,wellIalreadytoldher,however Ialsohavepicturesofherleavingand enteringtheabortionclinic.Ialsoknowthat thebabywasn’therhusbands,buthisbest friends.Doyouthinkonceeveryoneknows, thatyouwillstillhaveajoborwillbeable
togetanotherone?Thatthepeopleyou havescrewedwil leavethisalone?Idon’t.I thinktheywillbeafteryoubeforeyoucan evengetonaplanetorun.”
Hegoespale.“Fine.”
Iwatchastheybothsignthepapers.
Itakethepapersbackandstand,leaving themsittingthere.Oneproblemcorrected, nowontotheother.Ijusthopeitworks.
WhenIgethome,Maddoxisalready waiting.Wewastenotimegettingtowork onthenextpartofmyplan.
Chapter28
Katy
It’sbeenamonthsincemy
fightwithKellan.Ihavebeenstayingwith myfriendBecca.Ineededtobeableto clearmyheadanddealwitheverything.I haveal theseemotionsrunningthrough meandhonestly,Ididn’tknowhowtodeal withmostofthem.So,sinceBeccaliveson thebeach,Icamehere,inhopesitwould help.
InallthetimeIhaveknownKellan,Inever thoughthecouldbesocruel,andyethe was.IguessIdidn’tknowhimaswel asI thought,andthathurtsmorethananything else.
Ihaven’thadmyphoneoninallthe timeI’vebeenhere,andI’vejustturnedit on,sowhenitrings,itstartlesme.Seeing it’sMaddox,Ihesitatetoanswer,butI
eventuallydo.WhenBeccacomesoutto joinmeonthedeck,myexpressionmust tellhersomethingishappenedbecauseshe immediatelyasked,“What’swrong?”
&nb
sp; “Nothing.Ihadamessagefrom
Kellan,hesaidthatitturnsoutthewoman waslyingandthatsheisn’tpregnant.”
“That’sgreat,right?”
Ishakemyhead,“yeah.It’sawesome.”
Iactuallysmile,whichIhaven’tdoneina month.Iwanttocal Kel an,butIcan’t bringmyselftodoitjustyet.Myheartcan’t handletalkingtohimrightnow.Heno longerismybestfriend.
Whenmyphonepings,Ilookdownat it.There’satextfromMaddox.
Maddox:Whereareyou?Areyou ok?
Me:I’matBecca’s.Well,okascanbe expected
Maddox:He’sanassandanidiot!
Me:Iknow.
Maddox:Cometotheshownext weekend.
Me:Idon’tthinkthat’sagoodidea.
Maddox:Why?
Me:youknowwhy.
Maddox:weareal stil friendsand youarestillourstylist.Comeasafriend.
Me:Idon’tknow
Maddox:Thinkaboutit,please?
Me:Fine.I’l thinkaboutit.
Walkingalongthebeachhasbecomeoneof myfavoritethings.Igettothinkandthe oceanseemstohelpmeputthingstogether andinperspective.Iplacemyphoneback intomypocketandbegintowalkdownthe beach.