CanIreal ystil befriendswiththeguysand pretendlikeeverythingisfinebetweenme andKellan?CanIhandlegoingtoashow andwatchingKellanleavewithother
women?Ihonestlydon’tthinkIcan.At least,notyet.
IstayedtwomoredayswithBeccabefore returningtomylife.Luckily,Ihavean awesomestaffandtheshophasbeen runningwithoutanyhelpfromme.Ilet themallknowhowmuchIappreciatethem, beforeheadingtomyoffice.Iworkfor severalhoursonnewdesignsandnew orders.
Whenmyphonepings,Ijump.“Son ofabitch.”IsayasIgrabmychest.Ireach forit.
Maddox:So,areyoucoming?
Me:stil don’tknow
Maddox:Please,formeandtheguys.
MinusKel an.
Me:Maybe
Maddox:Ihaveasurpriseforyou.
AndwiththatheknowsIwil bethere.I lovesurprises,aslongastheyaregood ones.
Me:Fine,I’llbethere
Maddox:Good,seeyouthen Idropmyheaddownontomydesk.I’mnot readytoseeKellanandpretendeverything isfinebetweenus,butIguess,nowIdon’t haveachoice.
Thenightoftheshow,Iamstandinginmy room,tryingtofigureoutwhatIamgoing towear.Nothingtosexybutnothingto drabeither.Decidingonapairofblack skinnyjeans,aredshirtandmyblack leatherjacket.
WhenIgettotheshow,Ihead
backstage.Maddoxsentmeatexttoletme knowheleftmypasswiththebodyguard.
Once,Ihavemypass,Iheadtofindthe guys.Halfwaythere,Ihavegottostopand takeadeepbreath.Mystomachisinknots andIfeelsick.Gettingmyselfundercontrol,
Ifinallymakeittotheirdressingroom.I knocklightly.
Whenitflingsopen,Daneisstandingthere smilingatme.
“Heygorgeous,”isallhesaysbefore I’mwrappedupinhisarms.
“Heyyou.”
Thenalltheguysarethere,takingturns huggingme.Al exceptKel an.Ilook around,butnope,heisn’there.Theknotin mystomacheasesjustalittle.When Maddoxisstandinginfrontofme,Iask,
“Where’smysurprise?”
Hesmilesatme,“you’l getitinalittlebit.
So,howareyou?”
Myshouldersslump,“ok,Iguess.”
“Wherehaveyoubeen?We’vebeen
worriedaboutyou.”
“Iwenttostaywithafriendfora littlewhile.Ineededtoclearmyhead.”
“Iunderstand.Katy,justbecauseyou andKellanaren’ttogetherdoesn’tmeanwe aren’tstil hereforyou.”
“Iknow.I’msorry.Thankyou,Ilove youguys.”Ihughimhard,tearsstingingmy eyes.Iblinktotryandkeepthemfrom falling.Itdoesn’twork.Ipullbackandwipe mycheeksandeyes.
Maddoxtakesmyhand,“comeonKaty-kat, let’sgo.”
Ifollowhimtothestage.“Ireservedyoua seatoutfront.I’l seeyouaftertheshow.”
Hekissesmyhead,“gofindyourseat.”
Imakemywaytomyseat.I’mstunned whenIseeBeccasittingintheseatbeside theonethatsaysreservedonit.
Smiling,Isay,“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Shereplies,“IgotatextthatsaidIhada ticketandthatIneededtocome.Saidyou mightneedme.”
“Ilovetheseguys.”Itel her,before takingmyseat.
Whentheshowstarts,it’sthesameas usual.IhavebeenwatchingKellanthe wholetime.Helooksgood.Whentheystart toplayWithoutYou,Idon’tthinkIcan handleanymoreandgetuptoleave.
Whenthereisahandonmyarmstopping mefromleaving,IturnandlookatBecca.
“Youhavemadeitthisfar.Stayfor therest.”
“Ican’t.Thissongtheywrotefor Rykerandwhileit’sforhim,Ifeelthose wordsmorenowthanever.”
“Katy,youareoneofthestrongest womenIknow.Ifyoucanmakeitthrough alltheothersongs,youcanmakeittothe end.Trustme.”
Ilookupandrealizethesonghasended andjustwhenIthinktheshowisaboutto end,alightlightsuponstageandthereis Kellan.
“Heyeveryone.IthoughtIwoulddo somethingalittledifferenttonight.Ihave somethingspecialforyou.”
Myhearthurtsatthesoundofhisvoice, butIcan’tseemtomove.
IwatchasDanecomesoutonstagewithan acousticguitar,andhandsittoKellan.I wonderwhatintheworldheisdoing.
Chapter29
Kellan
Idon’tknowhowMaddoxmanaged
togetherhereorhowImanagedtostay awayfromher,butIdid,andsheishere.
TakingmyguitarfromDane,Ilookoutat theaudienceuntilIfindher.Katyisright whereMaddoxsaidshewouldbe.
“See,Imessedupthingsrecentlyand hurtsomeoneIloveverymuch.Ican’tsay howsorryIam,soIhopethissongsaysit all.Katy,IloveyousomuchandIamso damnsorry.”Withthat,Istartthesong.
WhenIfinish,Isittheguitardown andwalktothesideofthestage.Maddox appears,clapsmeonmyshoulder,before headingtocenterstage.
ItakethewaterbottlehandedtomeasI exit.Therestoftheguysarestanding
around,eachtalkingwithadifferent memberofthecrew.Iwalkovertowhere myfavoriteguitaris,pickitupandget readytofinishourset.
Notlongafterthat,wearebackonstage.I don’thearthescreamingfans,al Ihearis themusic.Whenwearefinished,Ihandmy guitarovertothecrew,andwalkoff backstagewithJasper.
“Doyouthinkitworked?Thesong,I mean?”Jasperasks.
“Ihonestlydon’tknow,butIsureas hel hopeso.”Itel him.
Whenhesays,“metoo.”Ilookathim.
“What?Youtwoaregoodtogether.
Shereallylovesyouandputsupwithallof us.Shealwaystreatsusthesame,no matterwhat.It’shardtofindsomeonelike that.”
Iknowheisright.Shedoestreateveryone thesame.Shealwayshas.That’soneofthe reasonsIlovehersomuch.
Whenwefinal ygettoourdressingroom,I stopdead.Katyisstandingjustinsidethe room.Herhandsareinthebackpocketsof herjeans.Sheisgorgeous.
“Hey.”Iwhisper.
Shesmiles,“hey.”
“Canwetalk?”
SheshakesherheadnoandIfeelmyheart sinkintomystomach.
“Ithinkyousaideverythingyouneed tosay.Iontheotherhandhavenot.”
Ijuststareather.Ireallyhaven’tsaidallI wanttosaybutIwil letherleadonthis one.
“Ok,sodoyouwanttotalkhereor gosomewherefirst?”
Shedoesn’tsayanything,justclosesthe distancebetweenus,goesupontiptoe, wrapsherarmsaroundmyneckandkisses me.
Iwrapmyarmsaroundher,andkissher back.ShefeelssogoodandIhavemissed hersomuch.
Whenshepul sback,Ilookdownintoher greeneyes.“I’msorry.”Isallshesays beforeshepullsback.
“WhenIwalkedintoyourhotelroom andwenttofindyou,onlytohaveMaddox tellmenottoopenthebedroomdoor.I didn’tknowwhattoexpect,butfindingyou inbedwiththatgirl,definitelywasn’tit.”
“Katy,I…”Sheputsherfingerover mylipstostopmefromtalking.
“Letmefinish.”
Inodmyheadandshecontinues.
“Insteadofmequestioningwhatthe hel wasgoingon,Ijustgotpissedandleft.I couldn’tbelievewhatIhadseenandthat youwoulddothattome.Ithoughtyou werejustlikealltheotherjack-assesIhad dated.”
Shetakesanotherstepback,grabsmyhand andleadsmeovertothecouch.
“WhenIleft,Iturnedmyphoneoff becauseIneededtogoclearmyheadand havingeveryoneblowmyphoneup
wouldn’thelpmewiththat,soIleftand wenttoBecca’s.WhenIfinal ydidturnmy phonebackon,notonlydidIhave messagesfromyoubutfromalltheguys.
Maddoxwasfinal yabletogetthroughto meandheconvincedmetocomehere tonight.”
Itakebothherhands,“Iwantyoutolook meintheeyeswhenItel youthisok.”
Sheshakesherheadyes,soIcontinue.
“Thatmorningyoufoundmeinbedwith thatgirl,youandMaddoxtalkingiswhat wokemeup.IthoughtIwasinbedwith you,untilIsmelledtheperfumeofthegirl besideme.Ihadjustsatupinthebedwhen youwalkedin.Ihonestlyhadnoclueof howIendedupinthatbedwithher.My lastrecollectionwasofmeintheartist loungeaftertheshowthatnight.Afteryou
left,thegirlgotupandsaidmyworkhereis doneandwalkedout.Ihadnoideawhat shewastalkingabout.WhenIexitedthe room,Maddoxlaidintome.”
Now,Istandupandstarttopaceinfrontof her.“Laterthatday,Ireceivedacallfrom Bradley.HetoldmethatColtandMs.
Brownarerelated.Iknewsomehowthat theywerethereasonthatgirlendedupin mybed.Ijustdidn’tknowhow.Maddox mademegotothedoctortobetestedand itcamebackthatIwasdrugged.”
“Kel an,Ialreadyknowallofthis.
MaddoxtoldmewhenItalkedtohim.”
Ijuststareather.“ok,wel letmetel you therest.ImetwithColtandMs.Brown.
Cometofindoutsheismarriedtoasenator andhasbeenpregnantalot,onlynotby herhusband.Shehashadseveral
abortions.”
“Thatbitchiscrazy!”
“Actually,yessheis.Shegets
pleasureoutofhurtingothers.Anyways,I
madeherandColtsignpapersstatingthat theywouldleaveyouandIaloneforever andiftheydidn’t,welllet’sjustsay,allof theirdirtylittlesecretswillberevealed.”
Katystands,andwalkstome.Puttingher handsonmycheeks.“Kel an,I’msorryI jumpedtoconclusions,butitdidlookbad.
Anyways,thesongwassobeautiful.”
“Katy,Iloveyou.Iwrotethatsong justforyou.Iwasworkingonitbeforeyou left,butIjustcouldn’tseemtofinishit, untilyouleft.Iamsorryforbeingadick.IfI wouldn’thavebeeninsuchahurryto accuseyouofcheating,Iwouldn’thaveput myselfinthespotforthistohappen.Iam sosorry.”
“Kel an,Iloveyoutoo.”
Iwatchasatearrol sdownherface.
Ipickherupandcrushmymouthtohers.
“Areweok?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
Chapter30
Katy
SincemeaKel anhavebeenback
together,ourrelationshipisbetterthanit wasbefore.I’mnotsurewhatchanged,I justknowitdid.Theretourendedaweek agoandwehavebeentogetherevery secondwecanbe.
ThankstoStarla,mybusinesshas pickedupalotmorestars.Iknowdesign clothesthatgetshowedoffonthered carpet,whichcouldn’tmakemeany happier.
Whenmyphonestartstoring,Ilook downatit.Maddoxiscal ing.Henevercal s unlesssomethingiswrong.
“Hel o?”
“Hey,canyoucomemeetme?”
“Um…yeahsure,where?”
“Jerry’sPizzaandPub.”
“Ok,givemetenandIwil bethere.”
IshootKellanaquickmessagebefore grabbingmyjacketandheadingoutthe door.
WhenIgetthere,Maddoxisalready inside.HehasAxelwithhim.Walkingtothe table,IruffleAxelshair,beforetakinga seat.
“Heylittleman.”
“I’mnotlittleanymore.”
“That’srightfiveissuchabigage.”
Helaughsandgoesbacktohiscoloring.
IturnandlookatMaddox.Helooksterrible.
“What’sgoingon?”
“Ineedyoutocareforhimforme.”
“Huh?”
“WhenIwenttopickhimup,
Suzannesaidshedidn’twanthimanymore.
Thatshefoundanewguyandhedoesn’t likekids.”
“Mad,Idon’tknowhowtotakecare ofakid.Whycan’tyoutakecareofhim?”
“I’mgoingtostartrehabinaweek andwon’tbeabletocareforhimuntilIget out.”
Rehab?Whendidthathappen?Ididn’t evenknowhewasthinkingaboutthat.
“Ok,howlongwil youbeinthere?”
“Afewmonths.Ishouldbeoutbythe timeournexttourstarts.”
“Thankyou.Ioweyouone.”
Now,I’vegottofigureouthowIamgoing totellKellan.
WhenIgethome,Kel anisinthekitchen.
“Hey,babe”
“Hey,Ineedtotel yousomething.”
“Yeah,what’sthat?”
“IhadlunchwithMadtoday.He
askedmeifwewouldtakecareofAxelfor himforacoupleofmonths.”
“Huh?I’mconfused.”
“Letmestartatthefront.Apparently, Suzannehasanewmanandhedoesn’t wantkids,soshesaidsheisgivingAxelto Maddox.Maddoxsaidheisgoingtocheck intorehab,sohecanbethefatherAxel needsanddeserves.Heaskedifwewould watchhimuntilheisdoneinrehab.I couldn’ttellhimno,sowearegoingto haveAxelforalittlewhile.”
“Ok,I’mfinewiththatbutwhenwil hebehere?”
“Nextweek.”
“Ok,wegotthis.”
I’msoproudofMaddoxfordoingthis.It hasbeenalongtimecoming.Ihopehe stayssoberanddrugfreeonceheisout.
Now,togetthingsreadyforAxel.Igrab Kellan’shandandpul himtowardthedoor.
Laughinghesays,“babewhatareyou doing?”
“WehavethingstogetforAxel,”isall Isaybeforeweareoutthedoor.
Acknowledgements
First,Iwanttothankmyfamily, withoutthemIcouldn’tdothis.Theyare thereasonIwrite.
Second,Iwanttothankeachand
everyoneofyouwhohavereadmybooks andsharedthem.Ilovebeingabletocreate abookthatisnotonlyspecialtomebutto allofyouaswell.
Istartedwritingwithjustanideaand itblossomedintosomuchmore.Iwill continuetowriteaslongasIhaveideas thatrunthroughmyhead.
Hopeyouenjoythisjourneyasmuch asIdid.
WithLove,Robin
OtherBooksbyRobinREdwards
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