“I’mnotsad.I’mgladyou’rehere.”
Ikisshislipsagain,movingtohisneck.He letsoutamoan.Hemovesonehandfrom myassandplacesitinmyhair,pul ingmy headback.
“Babe,whywereyoudrinking
alone?”
“Iwashavingapityparty?”
Hecarriesmetowardmybedroom.
“Why?”
“Somehowthatwoman,theonewho
issayingsheispregnantwithyourchild, wel shegotmynumberandcalledme.”
“Babe,whatdidshesay?”
“Nothingexcept,thatIshouldgo aheadandleavenow.Thatyouarehersjust likeshesaid…blah,blah,blah.”
“Thiswil allbeoversoon.Itwil be ok.Ipromise.”
Ikisshimagain.Ilovethatheisso optimistic.
“Isurehopeso.”
“Youthinkweshouldchangeyour
number?”
“No.Itoldherifshecalledmeagain, shewouldn’tliketheoutcome.So,Idon’t thinkshewillcallmeagain.”
“Ok.It’syourchoice.”
WhenIwakethenextmorning,Ismile.I’m wrappedinwarmarmsandahardbody.
Kellanisasleepbehindme.WhenIgoto turn,hisarmstighten.WhenIfinallyget turned,Ilookupathim,andkisshischin.
Hegrinsatme.
“Whendoesthetourend?”
“Wehaveaboutanotherthree
months.Why?”
“Imissyouandcan’twaittohaveyou alltomyself.”
HepullsmesothatIamlyingflatagainst him.
“Meeither.Iwantyoutohavemeall toyourselftoo.”
Whenheleaves,Ifeelemptyandlonely.I haveneverfeltthiswaywithaguyandit kindoffreaksmeout.Yes,Ihavelovedhim foralongtime,butsinceIneveractedon thosefeelings,Ineverhadtoworryabout alltheotherfeelingsthatgoalongwith love.
Pushingmyfeelingstothebackofmymind, Igrabmylaptopandopenit.It’stimeIstart tousemybrain.IneedtofigureoutifColt hasanythingtodowiththissituation.Istart bygoingthroughal hissocialmedia accounts.Maybehewillhaveapictureof heronthereorsomething.
Afterhoursofreviewinghissocialmedia accounts,Iamnoclosertolinkingthem together,thenIwasbefore.Idon’tknowif heisbehindthisornot,butifheis,Ireal y don’tknowwhatIwil do.
WhenIstartedmyrelationshipwithColt,he seemedlikeaniceguy.TheonlyreasonI evengavehimachancewasbecausehe remindedmeofKellaninaway.Hedidn’t seemlikesomeonewhowoulddo
somethinglikethisjusttogethisway.I guessyoureallycanneverknowaperson.
Notreally.
ThatnightwhenKel ancalls,Itel him aboutmegoingthroughal ofColt’ssocial mediapagesandnotfindinganything.He tellsmethathestillhasn’theardfromhisPI friend.Iwishhewouldhurryupandgiveus something.Thiswholethisisdrivingme crazy.
Forthenextmonth,Istayfocusedon myshop.Ihadaclientaskmetocreateher aweddingdress,whileIwassurprised,I waspleasedshethoughtofmeandasked.
Weddingdressesaren’treal ymything.I createmorerock/punkstyleclothes.Yes,I havesomebal gowns,maybeevensome fiftiesstyledoutfitsbutmostlytheyhavea rockfeel.Luckily,shewantedapunkstyle dress,sowhileit’snotreal ymything,Iam totallyupforthechallenge.
Ipullmyselffrommysketchpad
whenmyphonerings.Since,Idon’tknow thenumber,Iamalittleleeryabout answeringit,sincethelasttimeIanswered anumberIdidn’tknow,itwasthecrazy woman,butIdoanyway.
“Hel o.”
“IsthisKatyHart?”
“Yes,itis.HowcanIhelpyou?”
“MynameisCarlyMichaels.I’mthe PAforStarla.Shewouldliketomeetwith you.Areyoufreetomorrowaroundfive?”
Holyshit!Starla,therockprincess,wantsto meetwithme?Seriously?Thisisawesome.
EvenifIhadsomethingtodo,Idon’tnow.
“Sure.”
“Great.Isthereanentrancewecan usethatwon’tdrawattention?”
“Yes,there’sabackdoor.”
WhenIhangupthephone,Iletoutagirly squeal,thenIcallKellan.
“Heybabe.”Hesoundssleepy.Ilook attheclockandwince.“Sorry.Ididn’tthink aboutthetime.”
“It’sok.What’sup?”
“Starlawantstomeetwithme.She’s comingbytomorrow.”
“That’sawesomeright?”
“Hel ,yeah.”
Chapter25
Katy
Thenextday,Iwassodamnexcited,I couldn’tcontrolmyself.Everyonewanted toknowwhyIwassohappy,butIknew betterthantosayanything.
Aroundfourthirty,Itel MonicathatI havesomestufftotakecareofandIdon’t wanttobedisturbed.Sheassuresmeshe canhandlethefront.Iknowshecan,orshe wouldn’tbemysecondincommand.
Isettheconferenceroomup,sothat IcanmeetStarlainthere.Rightatfive there’saknock.Iquicklyshowthemtothe room.Shewastesnotimegettingdownto business.
“I’mimpressedwithyourdesigns.I wouldliketoseeifyouwouldbeinterested increatingforme?”
“Whatwouldyoulike?”
“Iwantrock,meetsfifties,meets currentstyles.”
“Ok.Letmesee.”Iquicklydrawan outfitonmysketchpad,thenshowitto her.“Somethinglikethis?”
“Oh,hel yes.Thisisperfect,”she saysexcitedly.
“Doyouwantdresses,pantsor
skirts?”
“Someofeach.”
“Bold,brightorneutralcolors?”
“Alloftheabove.”
“Ok,givemeaweekandIwil send yousomedesigns.Youcantellmewhatyou likeanddon’tlike.Then,Iwillgofrom there.Howmanypiecesdoyouwant?”
“Asmanyasyoucangiveme.”
IslideapieceofpapertowardthePA.
“WritedownanemailandnumberwhereI
cansendthesketchesto,andgetintouch whenIneedto.”
ThePAwritesdowntheinformationthen slidesthepaperbacktome.
“Ok,ladies.I’l beintouchinaweek.”
Ishaketheirhandsastheyleave.
Overthenextweek,IworkonStarla’s outfits.IsendthemtotheemailthatthePA leftme.Theresponseisfast.
Theseareperfect.Starlasaidshe lovesthemall.Howlongwil ittaketo complete?
Itypemyresponsejustasfast.
Iwillneedherheretogetsome measurements,thenitwil takeabouta monthtocompletetheoutfits.Whencan Starlacomebackin?
MycomputerpingsbeforeIcanevenblink.
ShesaidnextWednesdayatseven.
Wil thatworkforyou?
Itypeaone-wordanswer,
Yes
ForthenextfewweeksIworkon
Starla’soutfits.Ihavecompletedabout ninetypercentofthemandinal honesty,it haskeptmymindofftheSandyBlackissue andwithhowmuchIammissingKellan.
Whentheoutfitsarecomplete,I
emailStarla’sPAtoletherknow.Shesends someoneovertopickthemup.Notlong after,IreceiveanemailfromStarlaherself.
Theseoutfitsarefantastic.Ilove them.Thankssomuch.
Theemailisshort,sweetandtothepoint.
Myfavoritekind.Iknowmysmileishuge,I can’thelpit.
IsendMaddoxaquicktext.Iwantto surpriseKellan.Oncehetellsmewhere theyare,Iwillbookmyflightandlethim knowI’mcoming.
WhenIarriveatthevenue,
ControlledChaosisalreadyonstage.Irun myhandsdownthefrontofmyjeans,
beforeslidingthemintomybackpockets.
Whentheguysstartcomingoffbac
kstage, IwaitforKellan.Assoonashiseyesmeet mine,theylightup.
Inthenextsecond,Iamwrappedaround himwithhisarmstightaroundmywaist.
“Babe,”isallhesaysbeforehekisses me.
“Ilovethewayyougreatme.”
“Wel ,Iloveyou.”
Ismile.Thismanissomethingelseandhe’s mine.
“Howlongareyouhere?”
“Itooktwoweeksoff.”
Now,hissmile,itlightsuptheentireroom.
“Youlookgood.”
“So,doyou.”
“Imissedyou.”Webothsayatthe sametime.
Thenextmorning,IwaketoKellan’s armswrappedtightaroundme.Isnuggle deeperintohim.HefeelssogoodandI havereal ymissedhim.Idon’twantto movebutnaturecal s.So,Islipoutofbed andmakemywaytothebathroom.
WhenIstepout.Maddoxissittingat thetable,heliftshishead,givingmeoneof thoseguynods.Imakemywayovertohim.
“Hey,you,”IsayasIshoulderbump him.
Hislipstwitch.“I’msurprisedtoseeyou.”
“Why?”
Heshrugs,“figuredyouwouldn’tbeableto move.”
Ilaughandslaphisarm.
“Youneedtostop.”
IstudyMaddoxbeforeasking,“Howare youdoing?”
“Good,Iguess.”
“Mad,”Iplacemyhandoverhis,“you know,ifyoueverneedtotalk,I’mhere.”
Hegivesmyhandasqueeze,“Iknow.So, how’stheshopdoing?”
“It’sdoinggreat.”
“Howareyoudoingwiththiswhole pregnantwomanthing?”
Icringealittleatthementionofthat woman.“I’mdoingok.”
“Katy,youareaterribleliar.Tellme.”
Itwasn’taquestionbutademand.So,Itell himeverything.WhenI’mdone,Ilookat him.Hejustshakeshisheadatme.
“Idon’tknowwhattodo.”
“YousaidKel ancontactedBradley?”
“Yeah,butwehaven’theardback.”
“Giveitalittlemoretime.Hewil cal whenhehassomethingtogive.Ifthere anythingtofind,hewil findit.”
Ihavefinal ypushedallthoughtsofthat womanfrommymind.Iamwalkingwith Kellantowardthestage,whensomeone yells,“Kellan,Ihearyourgoingtobeadad.
Areyouhappyaboutthat?”
Westopdead.Kel anturnsandlooks towardwherethequestioncamefrom.
Findingwhoaskedit,hewalksrightupto him.
“Wedon’tknowifthatchildiseven mine,sountilweknowforsure,don’tbe yellingthatshitout.”
ThenKellanturns,grabsmyhandandwe continueourwalkintothevenue.
“Areyouwatchingfrombackhere?”
“Yeah.”
“Areyouok?”
“Yeah.”
Hestaresintomyeyes.Iguesshefinal y findswhatheislookingforbecausehesays,
“Good,”beforekissingthebreathoutof
me.Heturnsandwalksawaybeforemy brainstartsworkingagain.Iwalkoverto thesideofthestage,soIcanseeKellanbut stil beoutoftheway,that’swhenInotice Sophia.Imakemywayovertoher.
“Hey,howareyou?”
Sheturnsandlooksatme,“I’vebeen better?”
“Maddoxgivingyouproblems?”
“That’sanunderstatement.”
“Igetit,I’veknownhimalongtime.
That’sjustthewayheis.Onceyoubreak throughtheshellhewears,hereallyisa greatguy.”
“Yeah,Iwil believethatwhenIsee it.”
Thensheturns,andbeforeIcansay anythingelse,shewalksaway.
Whenmyphonestartsringing,Ipul itfrommypocket,seeingColt’snameflash acrossthescreen,Ihitignore.IwonderifI
shouldblockhisnumber,sinceheisnot takingthehint.
Knowthattheshowisalmostover,Imake mywayawayfromthestage.Itwil be bustlingwithroadiesandstagecrewandI wanttobefarawayandoutoftheway.
Whenmyphonebeginstoringagain,Istop togetitoutofmypocket,whenColt’s nameflashesagain,Ihitignoreoncemore, makingamentalnotetoindeedblockhis number.
Whensomeonegrabsmyupperarm,
I’mstartled.ThinkingIdidn’tgetfarenough awaytobeoutoftheway,Ilookupto apologizeandfreeze.It’snotoneofthe stagecreworroadies,no,Colthasaholdof myarm.
Ijerkmyarmaway,“letgoofme.Howdid youfindmeanyway?”
“Weneedtotalk.”
“No,wedon’t.Howdidyouevenget backhere?”
“Don’tworryaboutthat.Canwetalk, please?”
Notwantingtocauseascene,Ileadhim towardthebackandthebuses.Iknow thereissecurityguardsbackthereandthat theycanescorthimoutwithoutanyone seeing.
Onceweareoutside,Iswingaround,“Now, whatthehel doyouwant?”
“I’msorryaboutwhatyouheard.She meantnothingtome.Pleasecomebackto me.IloveyouKaty.”
Iclenchmyfistsatmysides.Punchinghim inhisfacewoulddefinitelycauseascene.I takeadeepbreathandtrytoremaincalm, butIcanfeelitslipping.“Colt,Idon’tcare aboutyourapology.Idon’tloveyou.Iwil nottakeyouback,notnowandnotever.”
Icanseetheangerinhiseyes,butbeforeI cansayanythingelse,hecrusheshismouth tomine.
Chapter26
Kellan
Assoonastheshowisover,andIexit thestage,InoticethatKatyisn’tthere.I lookaroundbutdon’tseeher.Seeing George,oneofourstagecrew,Igrabhis arm.
“HaveyouseenKaty?”
“Yeah,shewaswalkingtowardthe buses.”
“Thanks.”
Iheadtowardthebuses.AssoonasIopen thedoor,mybloodgoescold,whitehot furyracesthroughme.ColthasKaty pressedagainstthebusandiskissingher.I raceovertothem,grabaholdofhiscollar andyank.
Hespins,yel ing,“Whatthehel ?”
That’sallhegetsoutbeforemyfistfindshis face.Mynextpunchfindshisstomach, doublinghimover.
“KeepyourhandsoffofKaty.”
Helooksatmeandsneers,“What’swrong?
Can’thandlealittlecompetition?”
Isheserious?Thisguyiscrazy.
“I’mprettysureKatytoldyouto leaveheralone.”
Hedoesn’tanswerbuttakesaswingatme.
Islideoveroutofthewaybeforehisfist makescontact.IcanhearKatyyel ingatus tostop,buttheragehasn’tclearedmy headandIignoreher.Ipunchagainand connectthistimewithhisjaw.Hishead snapsbackandbloodleaksfromhislips.I smile.
I’mbroughtoutofmyragebyaflash.When Ilookaroundtofindit,Colttakes advantageofmydistractionandhispunch connectswithmycheek.Iletoutagrowl.
Timetoputthisfuckerdown.
Ibringmyheadaroundslowlyand lookathim,andsmile.Colttakesastep back.
“Comeon.”Igivehimacomehere jesterwithmyhand.
Whenheiscloseenough,Ipunchhimwith myrighthandandfol owwiththeleft,then apunchtothestomachthistime.Whenhe doublesover,Ibringmykneeupandinto hisface.Hefal stotheground,facea bloodymess.
Istandoverhim.“StayawayfromKaty.
Comenearheragainandyouwil regretit.”
WhenIturntofindKaty,Ifindherwrapped aroundMaddoxcrying.Alltheguysarejust staringatme.Maddoxisthefirsttospeak.
“Weneedtogo.”
Ifollowthemtothebus.Iwanttoreachfor Katy,butIdon’t.Isitdownonthecouch.
Danetossesmeanicepack.
“Putthatonyourhand.”
“Thanks.”
IliftmyheadwhenIhearthedoortothe bedroom.Maddoxtakesaseatbesideme.
&
nbsp; “Whatthehel justhappened?”
“Idon’tknow.Icameoutthe
backdoortofindKatypinnedagainstthe busandColtkissingher.”
“Didyouaskherwhatwasgoingon?”
Ishakemyhead,“No,hewastouchingher.
Shewasn’teventryingtopushhimaway.”
“Iunderstandthat,butwhatyou
don’tgetistherewasapapthereandhe gotsomereallygoodpicturesbeforewegot outthereandhadhimescortedoffthe property.”
Irunmyhandthroughmyhair.“Shit.”
“Notonlyareyougoingtobe
headlinenewsbutsowil Katy.”
Fuck,witheverythingelse,shedoesn’tneed this,andIwentandputheronthefront page.Ineedtotalktoher,Ineedto
apologize.Ijusthopesheforgivesme.Ialso needtoknowwhyshewasal owingthat pricktokissher.