My Heart Can't Tell You No, Page 4

  Her thin satin top served as no protection against the night air as her thoughts took her back to earlier that day when she had seen Joe. He looked fine—there was no doubt about that. Since she was fourteen he had a way of looking at her that could melt her insides. But, she thought, as her hands moved over her shoulders before moving onto the tense muscles of her neck, this time she would maintain control. She had more to lose than herself this time—much more.

  “Mommy, I don’t feel good,” came a sleepy voice from behind her.

  “You don’t?” She picked up her three-year-old and felt his head. “What’s wrong.”

  “I have a bellyache.” Robby leaned his head on her shoulder as they moved to the bathroom.

  “How come?”

  “I dunno.”

  “It couldn’t be from that banana split you had to have up at Gramma’s, could it?” She poured out a mild medication for his stomach.

  “No, that couldn’t be it. Can I sleep with you tonight?”

  “I think you can, since you’ve got a bellyache.” She moved with him to her bedroom. “Get some sleep now, sailor.”

  “Soldier,” he yawned as he turned and curled up on his side.

  “Okay, soldier,” she said, setting her alarm, then lying on her side of the bed as she reached over and tucked the sheet around him. She had much more to lose now.

  CHAPTER III

  JUNE 1984

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  June 1984

  Joe had been settled back into his father’s house for over a week. Repairs were minimal. His cousin had taken good care of it these past eight years, but new roofing was a must—a job he didn’t appreciate. The sun softened the shingles laying across the roof within easy reach as he neared the peak. He could hear sounds of children’s play coming from up the hill, at John Baker’s house, but as the time wore on their voices fell silent. The noise of his hammer banging against the roof filled his ears until a voice seemed to come out of nowhere.

  “Hi. Can I help?” Robby said as he took a step onto the roof.

  “Jesus Christ!” Joe’s heart jumped to his throat as he quickly moved to the edge of the roof and grabbed the boy. “What are you doing?!”

  “I’m helping ya,” Robby giggled.

  “You sure are. How did you get over here?” Joe asked, now holding the child on his lap.

  “I walked. See, it isn’t far.” He pointed to John’s house.

  “I know that. But why isn’t anyone watching you?”

  “Uncle Tom is. But he went into the cellar to get something, and Jackie went to the bathroom. So I came down here. To help you.” He made an attempt to get off the man’s lap.

  “Oh, no ya don’t! You’re going back with Tom. I’ll get on the ladder first, then I’ll lift you on. Do you hear?” Joe asked, and received a nod.

  As the boy stood on the roof in front of the ladder, Joe swung himself onto the rungs, but when he reached for the child, the little boy turned and ran to the other end of the roof.

  “HEY! GET BACK HERE!” he yelled at the child.

  “Nope,” he said, moving toward the roof where Joe had left his hammer. “I wanna stay here. I’m gonna help you.”

  “Don’t you move!” Joe told him sternly.

  “Why?”

  “Because you’ll fall!”

  “Are you yelling at me?” Robby’s chin began to tremble.

  “No,” he said in exasperation as he climbed back onto the roof and headed toward the boy. “I’m not yelling at you.”

  “Can I help you?”

  “Do you promise not to move?”

  “Why?” He took a step backward onto a loose shingle, his feet sliding out from beneath him and sending him on a slide down the roof.

  “That’s why.” Joe caught him by one arm then picked him up, allowing the child to wrap his arms and legs around him. “Now, do you promise not to move?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Okay. You can hand me the nails and you sit here.” Joe sat him on the roof, then knelt next to him and picked up the hammer.

  “Hey,” Robby said as he shivered.

  “What?” Joe asked, eying the boy suspiciously.

  “I have to go to the bathroom.”

  “Somehow I had a feeling that’s what you were going to say. C’mere. You can go off the edge of the roof,” he said, picking the child up and moving toward the side of the house. He stood the child in front of him and kept a secure hold on Robby’s shoulders. “There, unzip your pants and go.”

  Doing as he said, Robby pulled his shorts down then started waving his hand as he looked off into the distance. “Hey, look at that lady down there waving at me!”

  “What?! Jesus, stop! Don’t go!” Joe said quickly after looking up to see an elderly neighbor woman standing on her lawn some distance away. Pulling up Robby’s pants he picked him up then gave a false nervous smile in the woman’s direction, followed by a short wave. “Great. I just move back and I probably just got labeled a child molester,” he muttered then moved toward the front edge of the house but stopped when he remembered it faced the road. “No, that’s not good either. Over here, this side faces the trees. If anyone sees ya, that’s too bad.”

  “What’s a child lester?” Robby asked as he stood and urinated off the roof.

  “Ask your mother.”

  “Okay. I’m done. I can hand you the nails now,” Robby said, pulling up his shorts. “Why are you putting these on here?”

  “To keep the rain and snow out of my house,” he answered as he took a nail.

  “Oh. Can I take my shirt off too?” Robby asked, looking at the darkened skin on Joe’s shoulders.

  “No.” Joe reached for another nail.

  “Why not? I’m hot too.”

  “You’ll burn.”

  “No I won’t,” he said and started pulling his shirt up over his head.

  “Don’t . . . put that back . . . .” Joe had to laugh in spite of himself when he saw frustration cover the child’s face as his shirt got stuck at the top of his head.

  “It won’t come off,” Robby said irritably, wearing the shirt like a veil that covered his dark hair. “Can you help?”

  “Here, pull it back down first.” Joe pulled it over Robby’s face again so he could stretch the neck opening, then slipped it back over his head. “There ya go. Now, how about some more nails?”

  “ROBBY!” roared Tom Baker from the top of the hill.

  “Uh-oh,” Robby giggled as he handed Joe a nail.

  “In trouble now, huh?” Joe asked with a smile as he looked over his shoulder at his old friend walking toward them with Jackie at his side.

  “Uh-huh. Don’t let him take me back up yet. I want to stay here with you.”

  “How come?” Joe wiped some sweat from his brow then looked at the boy.

  “‘cause I like you.”

  “How’d he get up there?” Tom asked from the ground below.

  “I climbed up. All by myself,” Robby spoke up.

  “Ya did huh? Well how would you like a swift kick up to the moon? You know your mother would have a fit if she came home and saw you up there,” Tom said as he followed Jackie up the ladder. “Ya need some help there, Joe?”

  “As you’ve noticed, I’ve already got a big helper here.” He turned to Robby again. “Move down some.”

  “But you told me not to move,” Robby told him.

  “C’mon. I’ll take your han
d,” he said, then glanced over at Tom assisting Jackie toward them. “You better keep a hold on him. I don’t want him falling off my roof.”

  “It’s okay. He’ll bounce,” Tom joked, then spoke to Jackie as he sat on the roof. “Sit down, kid.”

  “Yeah, he’ll bounce all right. Just the same as Maddie will bounce down my throat when she finds out.”

  “Ah, don’t worry about Maddie,” Tom said, handing him a shingle, then after a moment went on. “That’s right, you always did worry about Maddie, didn’t you? Both you and Bob.”

  “Maddie’s a beautiful woman,” Joe said simply as he took another nail from Robby.

  “Maddie? Beautiful?” Tom snorted but only received a glance from Joe. “Is that why you came back?”

  “I came back because it was time to come back.” He noticed how both boys were listening intently to the conversation about their mother. “An opening came up, and I transferred back to this hangar.” He attached another shingle. “That’s it. Now, let’s head down for some water.”

  Tom helped toss the unused shingles to the ground at the front of the house, then moved with Jackie to the edge and went down the ladder. Grasping Robby’s hand and the nails Joe also retreated down the ladder, then led them all into the house.

  “John said you could have had the job of pilot supervisor, but you wouldn’t take it,” Tom told him after finishing the cool glass of water.

  “Wouldn’t have been fair to the other guys. So they promoted Daily instead.”

  “But Daily doesn’t have as much seniority as you.”

  “Maybe not total seniority, but I only worked at this hospital a year before I was transferred north. Anyway, I’m satisfied where I am. How about you, are you still driving for them?” he asked Tom, them being the biggest hospital in central Pennsylvania, where all three worked; Tom as an ambulance driver, John as a flight mechanic, and Joe as helicopter pilot.

  “I’ll be heading up to Wilkes-Barre this evening. During the day, I watch these jokers while Maddie’s at the store.”

  “She’s working in a store? How’s she raising two kids on minimum wages?”

  “Minimum wages?” Tom chuckled. “Boy, you have been away. You think she had that house of hers built on minimum wages?”

  “What’s she do? Bookkeeper?” Joe asked as he watched Robby wander out of the kitchen.

  “Yeah, she does the bookkeeping. She clerks when she has to, prepares the windows. Hell, I don’t know what all.”

  “Manager?” Joe asked with a raised brow. “She built a house on a manager’s pay?”

  “No. She built a house with some of the money she got from the insurance policy three years ago.”

  “Hey—look! He’s got a real old football!” Robby re-entered the kitchen, carrying the ball. “My Uncle John has one just like it.”

  “Hmm. The three of us got one that year,” Joe said to the boy.

  “I have Jackie’s.” Tom said. “It’s in a trunk at home. Well, guys, it’s time we hit the road. Your mom should be home any minute. Rob, give Joe back his ball.”

  “I don’t want to go home. I wanna stay here with him,” Robby told his uncle.

  “We have to go home. Mom don’t want us down here.” Jackie took the football and handed it to Joe, then took Robby’s hand and started for the door.

  “See ya, Joe.” Tom got up and followed.

  “Yeah, see ya, Joe!” Robby called over his shoulder as he started outside with his brother.

  “See ya.” Joe looked at the ball in his hands, his mind taking him back eighteen years.

  NOVEMBER 1966

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  November 1966

  It was the championship football game. If they won this one, the three of them would make it through high school without a single loss. They were all seniors, with nothing more important on their minds than this championship game and the newest Beach Boys and Four Seasons albums. It wasn’t surprising Jackie Baker was the quarterback for the final deciding play of the game, and everyone knew his intended receiver would be Joe McNier. But as Jackie fell back, he saw Joe was swamped. Not only the home fans knew to whom he would throw the ball, the visiting team knew as well. There was only one other safe choice—his second man. The power of his arm sailed the ball through the air, toward the opposite side of the field from Joe. A leap into the air caught it and, with silver wings on his heels, Johnny Baker ran thirty yards to the goal line.

  The game was over. Joe had missed his chance to make the deciding touchdown, but it didn’t matter. He had had his share throughout the season. If it had to be anyone else making that touchdown, he was glad it was John.

  As the final seconds ticked away on the scoreboard he felt a little depressed, knowing when the board was dark they would lose something to the past. He was barely off the field before Lena, a blonde, slim, but well-curved cheerleader, pushed herself into his arms. She had a snobbish air—she was used to getting her way—but at the time that wasn’t what interested him. She was eager to press her mouth against his, showing everyone watching one of the stars of tonight’s game that he was hers.

  He turned to glance at the crowd of dirt-and-grass-smudged jerseys around him, looking for his two friends momentarily lost in a sea of whiteness. As the players finally thinned out, he saw Jackie with a cheerleader in each arm. One, a black-haired beauty with her nose stuck three feet in the air most of the time, was an occasional date for Jackie, and the flame-haired beauty on his other arm was her best friend. It didn’t surprise Joe. Jackie had jet black hair and features much like his father’s, but cut sharply, as if chiseled in stone. The only flaw in his appearance was the dark-rimmed glasses he wore. But for some reason the girls disregarded this flaw as they flaunted themselves before him.

  A few steps behind Jackie was John, standing without a cheerleader, with red cheeks as he searched the crowd for his family. There was no doubting Jackie and John were brothers when you looked at them. John looked much like his older brother, but his features were softer and his hair a medium brown in color. John didn’t have any girl waiting on the sidelines. Not that he couldn’t have one; John just didn’t have the courage to date yet. His conversations with the girls at his school were few, always leaving him with tinted cheeks and a tongue that seemed to have turned itself into a huge knot.

  “There’s a party over at the dike,” Lena whispered in Joe’s ear.

  “Is there?” Joe asked as he started for the locker room with his arm around her waist.

  “Uh-huh. We’ll be expected to show up.”

  “Why will we be expected to show up?” He asked.

  “You know perfectly well why. Everyone knows we’re a couple. Just like Jack and Sue.”

  “We’ll see,” he said simply before going inside.

  The boys showered quickly, the hot water tingling the flesh that had been exposed for over two hours to thirty-degree air. Getting dressed came a little slower, each reluctant to leave the glow of the locker room that they would never be able to rekindle. But, as the last of the players made their way for the dike or their homes, John and Jackie Baker sat with Joe McNier.

  “They say there’s a big party over by the river, at the end of the dike,” Jackie said as he stood up.

  “Yeah, I heard.” Joe stood next.

  “They say we’re expected to show up,” said Jackie.

  “I know.”

  “Are you going?” Jackie asked John
.

  “No. I’m going over to Lew’s. Mom and Dad are waiting. You guys go though, if ya want. They really don’t expect me—but they will you two,” John said.

  “Yeah, I suppose so,” Jackie sighed.

  “Sue and Lena are waiting out there for us. So is Mom and Maddie,” Joe told them.

  “So? Where are you going?” asked John.

  The answer was simple, they all knew it as they smiled to each other.

  “Joe!! Hurry up!” Lena called into the locker room.

  The three boys walked outside, closing their coats as they eyed the five females waiting for them.

  “Are you ready?” Lena asked as she slid her arm through Joe’s.

  “Yeah. We’re ready.” He glanced at seven-year-old Maddie. “You ready, John?”

  “Uh-huh.” John’s eyes were cast toward the ground, his embarrassment in the presence of three debutantes of the high school evident.

  “He’s going with us?” Lena asked as she watched John.

  “No, he never goes with us,” Sue laughed out loud, then glancing back at Sarah, without any consideration that she could easily hear her. “He goes home with his mommy, where he belongs.”

  “And that’s where we’re going, with our mommy,” Jackie said as he picked Maddie off the ground. “You ready, Mouse?”

  “Yep.” Maddie’s smile gleamed, very much satisfied that her oldest brother chose her family’s company over the company of the three cheerleaders—yuk!

  “Are Bob and Tom over at Lew’s already?” Joe asked Sarah.

  “They went with Jack and Lew at the end of the game. They wanted to beat the crowd.”

  “You mean you’re going over to their uncle’s house?!” Lena asked with astonishment.

  “Yep.” They started walking toward the gate.

  “But, Joe.” Lena tried to pull him aside. “Joe, not over there! It’s right next to the dump! It smells—and those people are—are . . . .”

  “Poor,” Joe finished for her, making a red fire of anger rise in her face.

  “Yesss,” she hissed. “I’m not going over there!”