My Heart Can't Tell You No, Page 3
M. K. Heffner
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June 1984
“Robby, come on. Time for bed,” Maddie called her youngest son as she pulled the bed sheets back.
“No, I wanna watch TV.”
“No more tonight. Everyone to bed. Robby, you’re first. Come on,” she insisted this time.
“Oh, all right,” Robby moped on his way to his bedroom.
“All cleaned up?”
“Yep.”
“Your teeth, I mean.”
“Yep.”
“Did you go to the bathroom?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Okay. Then you’re ready to go to sleep so you can grow up tall and strong like your brother.” She pulled the sheet up over his waist. “Warm enough?”
“Yeah,” he answered inside a yawn.
“Goodnight then, my little prince.” She leaned down to kiss his cheek, then received a kiss in return before standing up and moving toward the door.
“Night, Mommy.”
“Jackie, your turn,” Maddie whispered toward the living room.
“Right now?”
“Right now.” She went to his side of the bedroom and pulled his sheet back.
“Mom?” He asked as he climbed up on the bed.
“Hmm?”
“Who was that man today?”
“What man?”
“The man in Gramma’s back yard,” he said as she pulled the sheet up over him.
“Oh—him.”
“That was Daddy,” Robby answered inside another yawn from his side of the room.
“What did you say?” Maddie asked in a weak voice as she slowly straightened and turned to look at her youngest son.
“He is not,” Jackie spoke up quickly. “Our Dad’s dead. Mom told you that today.”
“His name is Joe McNier.” Maddie turned back to her oldest son, deciding that Robby was reaching out for any father figure, and Joe just happened to be it at the time.
“I know—but who is he?”
“He’s an old neighbor. He used to play with your uncles.”
“Did he play with Daddy too?”
“Yes. Your father was in their gang too.”
“Did he play with you?”
“Sometimes, but I was ten years younger than your Uncle John and him. So, I was usually left alone with Gramma and Pap.”
“Is that why you don’t like him?” Jackie asked.
“You ask too many questions, Jackie Green,” she said with an indulgent curve to her lips.
“I don’t like him.”
“Why not?” she asked, a bit surprised at the son who always quietly accepted anyone.
“You ask too many questions,” he answered with a smile.
“Jackie. I don’t want you to dislike someone simply because you think I dislike him. There’s enough blindness in this world. You’re a big boy now, almost eight. I want you to open your eyes and look for yourself, then you can decide who you like and don’t like. Do you understand?”
“I guess.”
“Get some rest, now. Okay?”
“Okay. Night Mom.”
“Night, big guy.”
She bent to kiss a waiting cheek, then moved back to the living room where she switched off the television and lamp. Going to the open doorway, she stood in the darkness, watching through the screen as the moon lit up the rolling hills on the other side of the valley nearly a mile away; those rolling hills with their thick pine forests that she, Joe, and a few others had hidden in nineteen years before.
AUGUST 1965
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August 1965
It was hot and muggy that evening when Uncle Lew visited with his four sons (the oldest of whom was younger than Maddie by at least twenty days) and his wife, Janet. Uncle Lew was younger than Maddie’s mother. Lew looked at Maddie’s mother, Sarah, with a fondness reserved for the woman who took over for their own mother, who had died at the very young age of forty-two. Lew had been only three and Sarah almost eleven at the time. Lew teased her mother, using that special right all younger brothers have where their older sisters are concerned. Sarah viewed Lew as another son, but he was also a brother who shared her problems. The pride was in both sets of eyes. Sarah knew Lew had grown into a man of the greatest kind. Everyone loved Lew. He could win anyone over if he had a mind to, and he always did. Children would follow Lew around as if he were the Pied Piper. Even the shyest of children would go with Lew, because they knew they would always have a wonderful, magical time, probably because Lew had a heart that was ageless. And Lew knew Sarah was a woman everyone spoke fondly of. She was the listener; everyone knew it, and they had no hesitations telling her their problems, knowing it would go no further. Children also loved Sarah. They loved her gentleness and they loved her caring.
Maddie could see all this at the age of six, although she couldn’t put it into words and didn’t really care if she could or not. The good feeling she would get when she saw them together was enough.
On this particular evening Maddie could sense anticipation in her brothers’ eyes as they looked from one to the other while listening to their parents’ conversation with Lew and Janet.
“The paper says they’ve hit about every farm in this area, all except Foss’s over here,” Lew said as he pushed thirteen-year-old Tommy back onto the couch, only to have the youngster rush at him again.
“They’ll be next.” Jack lit a cigarette, watching his youngest son’s attack on the waiting and prepared Lew.
“Sure. Everyone knows it.” Lew wrestled the boy down to the floor with one arm, where he trapped Tommy’s head between his shins. “But when, that’s the question.”
“I heard they killed five over at Jennings’s farm last week. They’re getting greedy.”
“Lew! Joe, Lew’s here!” Bobby Green called over his shoulder as he walked into the Baker house.
“Bob! Help me!” Tommy called from his awkward position on the floor.
“Well, if it isn’t Ugly and his big brother Uglier.” Lew spotted Bobby and Joe.
“Hi, Lew.” Joe smiled his acknowledgment as he entered the room.
“They’re not ugly, Uncle Lew,” said Maddie as she got off her oldest brother Jackie’s lap and moved over to Joe. She hugged his legs and looked down at Bobby who was now trying to free Tommy’s head from between Lew’s shins. “They’re handsome.”
Even at the age of six Maddie could sense the power she had over her brothers’ two best friends. Joe McNier at sixteen, with his dark hair and slim good looks, held a protective eye on her that would come close to fierceness whenever Bobby Green would steal her attention away. And Bobby, at thirteen, held up his end of the rivalry in a quiet way. His blond handsome features were striking. Maddie knew this from all the teasing Bobby received from her youngest brother Tommy, who would often remark about the girls in eighth grade willing to give him their undying affection (just what undying affection meant, Maddie wasn’t sure, but she decided he was somehow desirable). But unlike Joe, who would pick her up and tote her with him the same way that Tommy carried around that dog of his, Bobby just stood by, waiting for the affection he was sure would be left over for him.
“Yeah, but they’re not better lookin’ than me,” said Lew, bringing a smile to everyone as they looked at his balding head and stomach that had long ago begun its protrusion over his belt.
“There! I’m free!” T
ommy said as Lew loosened his grip, allowing the boy to get to his feet and come at him in a rush, only to be turned around and pulled onto the man’s lap with his arms loosely twisted behind him. “Well, I was free.”
“So—you got a girl yet?” Lew asked Joe, making Maddie look up at him quickly.
“This is my girl right here.” Joe picked the child up, sending relief through her as she put her arms around his neck.
“Better not tell Lena that.” Sixteen-year-old Johnny lounged against the living room doorway, eating a sandwich.
“Who’s Lena?” Tommy asked from Lew’s lap.
“A blonde from town. She calls him and comes out Saturday mornings,” seventeen-year-old Jackie told him.
“Put me down,” Maddie said quietly as she pushed away from Joe.
“Uh-oh. Now what are ya gonna do, Maddie?” Lew asked. “Joe’s already got a girlfriend.”
“I don’t care—I’ll marry Bobby,” she said smartly as she moved to the corner of the room where Lew’s boys were throwing a small ball at one another.
“But Bob’s got a lot of girlfriends too,” said Tommy.
“I do not!” Bobby spoke up.
“They’re always after ya in school!”
“Tough,” mumbled Bobby.
““See, Bobby’s got some too,” Lew told her.
“I don’t care—I’ll marry him anyway.”
“Well, I guess she put you in your place,” Lew said to Joe.
“That’s nothing new. She’s always doing that,” Joe answered.
“Well Gert, you about ready,” Lew asked his wife.
“I guess so. C’mon boys, it’s time to go.” Janet stood up, showing a bulging abdomen that announced her latest pregnancy.
Everyone but Jack got to their feet to follow Lew and his family to the door in a farewell that would last more than five minutes. Finally, reaching his old Plymouth, Lew waved to Sarah as she stood in the doorway, then got behind the wheel.
“When are ya coming out again?” Maddie peered in the car window at him.
“Oh, I don’t know. How ‘bout some time next week?” He reached out to tweak her nose, then turned around to his three oldest sons who were wrestling in the back seat, his hat coming off in a threatening manner as he swatted the air near them. “SIT DOWN!”
“No, sooner,” Maddie pleaded with a smile.
“Well, tell your mom to bring you in. You could spend the night. We can all go for a walk up to the old place.” He referred to the building standing in ruins near his home; the building where he and his sister were born.
“Okay!”
“Now, get back from the car so I don’t drive over your toes.”
Maddie, her brothers, Joe, and Bobby all watched as the car pulled away, Maddie and Tommy waving until it was out of view.
“Dad says they hit Jennings’s farm last week,” Jackie told Joe as the five boys stood in a circle on the moonlit road in front of the house.
“Said they’ll probably be at Foss’s too,” said Johnny.
“Probably, but not tonight. The way the moon’s out, they’d get caught too easy,” Joe told them.
“Wanna take a walk out that way?” Johnny asked. “We could have a look around.”
“Might as well. It’s too hot to stay in the house,” Jackie said as he started toward the small creek behind the house. “Take Maddie and your dog in the house, Tommy.”
“No. I wanna go too.” Maddie folded her arms across her chest in determination.
“You can’t go along. What happens if we have to run?” scolded Jackie.
“I’ll run with you,” she countered.
“You won’t be able to keep up,” Johnny told her.
“Joe will carry me.”
“You can’t go along,” said Tommy.
“Then I’ll tell Mom and Dad where you’re going and you’ll be in trouble!” She stomped her foot.
“I think she means it,” laughed Joe.
“I don’t care. She’s not going,” said Jackie.
“Ah, let her go along. I’ll watch over her.”
The Baker boys knew there was no arguing against both Maddie and Joe when they teamed up against them. So, after Tommy put his dog in the house and told Jack and Sarah they were going for a walk, they crossed the small creek and started on their way up the sloping cornfield. Their destination was farther than Maddie had expected and, by the time they were at the half-way point, Joe had to carry her piggyback.
The boys walked along an electric fence that separated the cow pasture from the wooded forest, glancing in different directions, but always being sure to keep a safe distance from the electric wire.
“Hey, Maddie, you know what happens to cows during a full moon?” Tommy asked from the head of the pack.
“No,” she said quietly.
“They grow fangs and catch little girls and suck out all their blood.”
“Shut up, Tommy,” Joe said as Maddie buried her face against his neck. “He’s lying.”
“No I’m not. Ya see those trees up there? That’s where the witches live and you know what happens to witches during the full moon, don’t ya?”
“Hey, Tommy. You know what happens to thirteen-year-old guys named Tom during a full moon, don’t ya?” Johnny asked.
“No, what?”
“Their two older brothers take them out in the middle of cow pastures and dangle them in front of horny bulls.”
“Quiet!” Jackie whispered harshly. “Hey, Irish, what’s that look like coming up the path over there?
“A spotlight. Everyone get back!” Joe reached out and pulled Bobby back behind some trees, then lowered Maddie to the ground next to them.
“Ya think it’s them?” Johnny asked as they knelt in the woods.
“Yep. They just cut the lock on the gate. They’re coming this way,” Jackie said, pulling Tommy back down to the ground. “Stay here. If we leave now, they’ll see us. John, isn’t that the Klinger twins?”
“Yeah. I think so. Christ. They’re stopping right there,” Johnny whispered, nodding toward the pick-up truck that came to a stop near a small herd of cows only twenty yards away.
“Jackie. What are they doing?” Maddie asked in a frightened whisper when she saw the two identical men with a large revolver move toward a cow.
“Shh, Mouse,” Jackie whispered back.
They heard the gunshot and watched in silence as the cow dropped to its front knees as if only stunned, before another shot brought it down completely. There were mixed sounds of men arguing about lousy shooting and blood spurting onto the men’s clothing from the artery that had been slit in the animal’s neck.
“I’m sick,” Maddie whispered.
“No you’re not,” Joe answered.
The sight of the animal’s stomach being sliced wide open made Maddie’s stomach start churning even more. “I’m sick,” she whispered again.
“No. You’re not,” Joe insisted.
As the one man worked to remove the head and neck, Maddie looked away, but when the other man mistakenly cut into bowel and the horrendous stench flowed over to them, she couldn’t stop herself.
“I said I’m sick,” spilled from her mouth as she leaned closer to the ground and allowed the convulsive spurts to empty her stomach.
“Jesus Christ, she’s puking!” Tommy swore as he jumped up and moved away from her.
“They saw us!” Jackie jumped to his feet and reached for Maddie.
“I got her! You and John make sure Bob and Tom keep up!” Joe took Maddie by the hand and started running for the Baker house nearly a mile away.
Somehow Maddie’s short legs kept up with Joe’s much longer ones. She was positive it was some kind of magic that carried her, too young to know fright had caused her adrenaline level to skyrocket.
“Jackie! They’ve got John!” Tommy’s bellow stopped Joe and turned him around.
Maddie’s eyes picked up movement farther behind the struggling Johnny, who still had a
man holding onto his ankles after being tackled. More men were heading their way. Six? Eight? She wasn’t sure. She looked for Johnny again. He had freed himself from the man’s grasp but the man was on his feet again and after her brother. Johnny seemed to have wings on his heels as he sped through the woods, but the man was no more than ten feet behind him.
“John—here!” Jackie yelled and Johnny ran between the trees where his brothers were standing.
“NOW!!” She heard Bobby shout, then watched as Jackie and Tommy swung limbs at the man still after their brother.
Jackie’s swing caught him in the stomach, Tommy’s in the groin as Johnny caught up to and passed her and Joe.
“MOVE IT!!” Jackie yelled, grabbing onto her free hand as he, Tommy and Bobby brought up the rear.
JUNE 1984
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June 1984
Maddie smiled at the memory. It turned out they weren’t the only ones investigating the cattle poaching that night. Those other six or eight men Maddie had noticed turned out to be state policemen waiting for the Klinger twins to strike again.
Nineteen summers ago. Had it been so long? It hardly seemed so. And yet here she was with a little Jackie of her own, nicknamed so as not to confuse him with her brother John. No need to worry about confusing him with her brother Jackie. And her other son Robby, again, no need to worry about confusion with anyone, just nicknamed that way—just because.
She hugged herself as she stood in the thick muggy heat of a central Pennsylvania June. For some reason she felt chilled as she glanced in the direction of Joe McNier’s house, although she couldn’t see it. Those nineteen years ago, the only houses over here were the McNier house and the house her parents lived in now. Their old house still stood across Shamokin Creek, on the other side of the small valley nearly two miles away.
