The Feminazis, Page 2
Emilio Amaro
weak and fragile species the woman.”
Wes muttered more problems he found with the female species before finally drifting off into sleep.
As Wes woke up the following morning, the sun shined down on him brighter than ever. It almost felt as if the sun was in the room with him. Wes held up his hand to his face and groaned.
“Why did they turn up the brightness of the sun?” Wes muttered to himself. “It was already bright enough. OH MY GOD I’LL BE BLIND. I’LL NEED A K-9 WHO CAN SNIFF OUT VAGINA FOR THE SLEAZY AFFICANADO THAT I AM.”
Wes saw a hand and felt a slap across his face. Did the busty blonde return?
“Shut up you testosterone fueled faggot!”
Wes felt a cold chill rush down his spine as he heard the words yelled at him.
“Who the fuck was that? Who’s there? How’d you get in? I’m not a faggot! I only let that guy suck me off for five minutes. He didn’t even make me cum! I jacked myself off!”
What Wes realized was a spotlight, not the sun was dimmed down so Wes could see two women in Nazi general uniforms. They both looked fugly at best, like they had just crawled out of some abandoned library.
“We are the Feminazis, and you’re our toy now Wes!”
Wes jumped up out of bed and ran for the bedroom door. As he made his way towards the doorway, another Feminazi stepped into view. She looked like the professional wrestler Chyna. Her uniform had the sleeves ripped off and the swatiska arm band squeezed around her massive and veiny biceps. Wes ran directly into a right hook and was knocked out cold within seconds.
After Wes came to, he noticed that he was currently in a dim lit room in what looked like a basement. The Feminazis had been waiting for him to wake up. They were standing between him and the doorway. Wes sat up and rubbed his chin.
“W-who are you?”
“We are the Feminazis! I am General Jane Goring.”
“And I am Commander Janis Himmler”
“They call me Dicky Von Chop” said the buff Feminazi while crossing her arms. “You can probably imagine why.”
Dicky Von Chop popped her fingers for dramatic effect. Wes felt his penis shrivel up during this.
“We are the ones who police Tumblr!” said General Jane Goring.
“We make sure men aren’t as opinionated as us.” Said Commander Janis. “OR THERE SHALL BE CONSEQUENCES! PUBLIC SHAMING! HAIL MENSTRATION!”
All three Feminazis held up their right arm and hailed menstruation.
“What the fuck do you want with me?”
“We heard on a hook up complaint website that you do not eat pussy” said General Jane. The look she gave as she said this made it look as if it physically pained her to visualize someone who wouldn’t eat out a woman.
“Don’t eat pussy?” said Dicky Von Chop. “Fucking men! And yet you used that tongue for ice cream as a child, pathetic!”
“I just think it’s gross” said Wes. “Vaginas just aren’t sanitary for the tongue.”
Commander Janis walked up to Wes and slapped him. “A pussy is a forbidden fountain everybody strives to bathe in. Dicks are just the creature that lives in the black lagoon.”
“And vaginas aren’t that black lagoon?”
Dicky Von Chop marched over to Wes and chopped him across the chest. The sound of the chop echoed in the basement followed by Wes’ groans of pain.
“Only when they’re infected with a dick like yours! Your erection is the Ebola of sex!”
Dicky Von Chop marched out of the room. In under a minute she came back with a square of carpet. She dropped the carpet in front of Wes and crossed her arms.
“What?”
Dicky Von Chop grabbed Wes by his hair and shoved his face into the carpet.
“LICK THE CARPET FUCKFACE! THE CARPET FIBERS ARE THE CLIT! MAKE THEM ALL CUM!”
Wes screamed like a tortured prisoner as he tongue brushed up against the rough carpet.
“Ahh it burns!”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” cried General Jane. “Feel the burn!”
The Feminazis marched a circle around Wes commanding that he feel the burn. Wes licked and licked. He licked with such aggression that his tongue caught on fire. Dicky Von Chop threw a bucket of water at him, putting out the fire.
“Yes!” said Commander Janis. “You’re learning the ways of the pussy.”
After this they closed and locked the door to Wes’ room. An hour or so after they left, Wes drifted off into sleep. Given that he didn’t want to lick the carpet again, this was his only choice.
The following morning, the Feminazis came into Wes’ holding room. They woke him up and made him stand at attention. Commander Janis depanted Wes as Dicky Von Chop made her way out of the room.
“Ugh finally! I thought you chicks were never going to jump on my bone, but they always do.” Stated Wes with a legend killer smirk as he developed an erection.
General Jane smacked Wes’ penis. “Down boy! No erections in mein bunker! They are oppression to my vaginal beliefs!”
Wes screeched and began to groan. “O this is nothing like Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS!”
“O but it is” said General Jane. “Like the main character you will not be cumming!”
Dicky Von Chop now entered the room holding a chastity belt. Before Wes could process what was happening Dicky Von Chop picked him up, put him in the chastity belt and locked it.
“You will not be taking this off until you can lick a clit like a blind man sealing envelopes so I suggest you learn fast fuckboy!” said Dicky Von Chop.
General Jane stood in front of Wes and dropped her pants. Wes began to dry heave as he saw her fat and hairy bush.
“O Christ! It looks like a hedge you’d see in front of an abandoned mansion.”
General Jane backhanded Wes as hard as she could, he fell to his knees and tasted blood.
“Blasphemy! This is woman in her purest form! If I see pussy on Tumblr and they don’t have a bush like me, I publicly shame them until they’re out of a job and on the verge of suicide!”
General Jane dropped down to all fours in a position where she looked like a Linda Blair in The Exorcist. She then began to crab walk over to Wes while flapping her tongue.
“Rip and tear my pussy Wes, rip and tear my fucking pussy!”
General Jane crab walked until her pussy was practically shoved down Wes’ throat. Wes began using his tongue to please her. As Wes licked and licked, Jane moaned.
As the minutes rolled by, Wes could feel his tongue losing speed and power. After the first hour passed by, Wes felt his jaw clinch up and had to tap out. Wes fell down face first into the ground and General Jane rolled her eyes as she pulled her pants up.
“Ugh! You’ve improved, but you still have the tongue of a bro who wears Affliction and enjoys the Fast and Furious franchise!”
General Jane marched out of the room and slammed the door. Wes could hear her locking it from the outside.
The only form of entertainment Wes had was a touch screen pad that only had access to feminist porn in his room. Given that he had nothing else to do and felt he had slept enough for now, he decided to see what exactly feminist porn was. He touched the screen and put on a title called Tweet This Fuckwad!
The film began with a guy with spiked up hair covered in gel. He was drooling over his cell phone. The camera cut to the screen to show that he was using twitter to tweet out the hashtag #FeministsAreUgly.
“With this tweet I shall end the world of feminists know it today! There shall be no more bra burning or HBO sitcoms with average looking girls, only a life of baking pies for fundraisers inside of a kitchen they’ll never leave, other than sucking my conservative cock in the bedroom obviously!” the guy followed this up with an evil Bond villain laugh.
After saying all of this, three fat and disgusting looking women flew through the air. They were dressed as superheroes wearing bright pink capes with a car muff on it.
“O drats” said the guy. “Not the Defenders of the Muff!”
“Quit oppressing us with your testicular opinions Ted!” said a Defender of the Muff who appeared to be Asian. She resembled Yoko Ono if she ate John Lennon and took up Sumo wrestling as a career.
“Yeah Ted! We want equal rights, so delete your tweet and stay voiceless!” said a Defender of the Muff who looked like Kate Micucci from Garfunkel and Oates if she ate Kelly Clarkson.
“O it’s too late for that feminists! My tweet is already trending so you just might as well go to Macy’s and apply whatever makeup is trendy!”
“NEVER!” yelled Yoko Ono Defender of the Muff.
Yoko Ono and Reel Big Fish flew into the air and straight to Testosterone Ted. Both girls grabbed a thumb and ripped it from his hands. Testosterone Ted screamed in pain as blood flowed from the open wounds.
“NO! HOW SHALL I TWEET FOR MY MENINIST PAGES?”
Next, Kate Micucci Defender of the Muff took to the air and and flew towards Testosterone Ted. She reached into his mouth and pulled out his tongue.
Testosterone Ted opened his mouth and said something inbetween gargling up blood. Wes read the subtitles that appeared on the screen.
“Now how will I tell people that Pinterest is only for girls who will grow up to be surrounded by their mother’s old cookbooks in a studio apartment?”
The Defenders of the Muff took the body parts they held and shoved them down the pants of their costumes. As they pleasured themselves with the discarded body parts, beams of light shot up towards the air. The film followed the
