A Delicate Balance, Page 4

  WE WERE FRIGHTENED … AND THERE WAS NOTHING.

  (Silence in the room)

  HARRY

  (Matter-of fact, but a hint of daring under it)

  We couldn’t stay there, and so we came here. You’re our very best friends.

  EDNA (Crying softly now)

  In the whole world.

  AGNES

  (Comforting, arms around her)

  Now, now, Edna.

  HARRY (Apologizing some)

  We couldn’t go anywhere else, so we came here.

  AGNES (A deep breath, control)

  Well, we’ll … you did the right thing … of course.

  TOBIAS

  Sure.

  EDNA

  Can I go to bed now? Please?

  AGNES

  (Pause; then, not quite understanding)

  Bed?

  HARRY

  We can’t go back there.

  EDNA

  Please?

  AGNES (Distant)

  Bed?

  EDNA

  I’m so … tired.

  HARRY

  You’re our best friends in the world. Tobias?

  TOBIAS

  (A little bewilderment; rote)

  Of course we are, Harry.

  EDNA (On her feet, moving)

  Please?

  (Cries a little again)

  AGNES

  (A million things going through her head, seeping through management)

  Of … of course you can. There’s … there’s Julia’s room, and …

  (Arm around EDNA)

  Come with me, dear.

  (Reaches doorway; turns to TOBIAS; a question that has no answer)

  Tobias?

  HARRY

  (Rises, begins to follow EDNA, rather automaton-like)

  Edna?

  TOBIAS (Confused)

  Harry?

  HARRY (Shaking his head)

  There was no one else we could go to.

  (Exits after AGNES and EDNA. CLAIRE sits up, watches TOBIAS, as he stands for a moment, looking at the floor: silence)

  CLAIRE (A small, sad chuckle)

  I was wondering when it would begin … when it would start.

  TOBIAS

  (Hearing her only after a moment)

  Start?

  (Louder)

  START?

  (Pause)

  WHAT?!

  CLAIRE (Raises her glass to him)

  Don’t you know yet?

  (Small chuckle)

  You will.

  CURTAIN

  ACT TWO

  SCENE ONE

  (Same set; before dinner, next evening JULIA and AGNES alone. AGNES sitting, JULIA on her feet, pacing maybe)

  JULIA

  (Anger and self-pity; too loud)

  Do you think I like it? Do you?

  AGNES (No pleading)

  Julia! Please!

  JULIA

  DO YOU!? Do you think I enjoy it?

  AGNES

  Julia!

  JULIA

  Do you think it gives me some kind of … martyr’s pleasure? Do you?

  AGNES

  Will you be still?

  JULIA

  WELL!?

  AGNES

  THERE IS A HOUSE FULL OF PEOPLE!

  JULIA

  Yes! What about that! I come home: my room is full of Harry and Edna. I have no place to put my things. …

  AGNES (Placating)

  They’ll go to Tobias’ room, he’ll sleep with me. …

  JULIA (Muttered)

  That’ll be different.

  AGNES

  What did you say, young lady?

  JULIA

  I SAID, THAT WILL BE NICE.

  AGNES

  You did not say any such thing. You said …

  JULIA

  What are they doing here? Don’t they have a house anymore? Has the market gone bust without my knowing it? I may have been out of touch, but …

  AGNES

  Just … let it be.

  JULIA

  (Between her teeth; controlled hysteria)

  Why are they here?

  AGNES

  (Weary; head back; calm)

  They’re … frightened. Haven’t you heard of it?

  JULIA (Incredulous)

  They’re … what!?

  AGNES (Keeping her voice down)

  They’re frightened. Now, will you let it be!

  JULIA (Offended)

  What are they frightened of? Harry and Edna? Frightened?

  AGNES

  I don’t … I don’t know yet.

  JULIA

  Well, haven’t you talked to them about it? I mean, for God’s sake. …

  AGNES (Trying to stay calm)

  No. I haven’t.

  JULIA

  What have they done: stayed up in their room all day—my room!—not come down? Locked in?

  AGNES

  Yes.

  JULIA

  Yes what?

  AGNES

  Yes, they have stayed up in their room all day.

  JULIA

  My room.

  AGNES

  Your room. Now, let it be.

  JULIA

  (Almost goes on in the same tone; doesn’t; very nice, now)

  No, I …

  AGNES

  Please?

  JULIA

  I’m sorry, Mother, sorry for screeching.

  AGNES

  I am too old—as I remember—to remember what it is like to be a daughter, if my poor parents, in their separate heavens, will forgive me, but I am sure it is simpler than being a mother.

  JULIA (Slight edge)

  I said I was sorry.

  AGNES

  (All of this more for her own bemusement and amusement than anything else)

  I don’t recall if I ever asked my poor mother that. I do wish sometimes that I had been born a man.

  JULIA

  (Shakes her head; very matter-of-fact)

  Not so hot.

  AGNES

  Their concerns are so simple: money and death—making ends meet until they meet the end.

  (Great self-mockery and exaggeration)

  If they knew what it was like … to be a wife; a mother; a lover; a homemaker; a nurse; a hostess, an agitator, a pacifier, a truth-teller, a deceiver …

  JULIA

  (Saws away at an invisible violin; sings)

  Da-da-dee; da-da-da.

  AGNES (Laughs softly)

  There is a book out, I believe, a new one by one of the thirty million psychiatrists practicing in this land of ours, a book which opines that the sexes are reversing, or coming to resemble each other too much, at any rate. It is a book to be read and disbelieved, for it disturbs our sense of well-being. If the book is right, and I suspect it is, then I would be no better off as a man … would I?

  JULIA

  (Sober, though tongue-in-cheek agreement; shaking of head)

  No. Not at all.

  AGNES (Exaggerated fret)

  Oh! There is nowhere to rest the weary head … or whatever.

  (Hand out; loving, though a little grand)

  How are you, my darling?

  JULIA (A little abrupt)

  What?

  AGNES

  (Hand still out; somewhat strained)

  How are you, my darling?

  JULIA (Gathering energy)

  How is your darling? Well, I was trying to tell you before you shut me up with Harry and Edna hiding upstairs, and …

  AGNES

  ALL RIGHT!

  (Pause)

  JULIA (Strained control)

  I will try to tell you, Mother—once again—before you’ve turned into a man. …

  AGNES

  I shall try to hear you out, but if I feel my voice changing, in the middle of your … rant, you will have to forgive my male prerogative, if I become uncomfortable, look at my watch, or jiggle the change in my pocket …

  (Sees JULIA marchin
g toward the archway as TOBIAS enters)

  … where do you think you’re going?

  JULIA (Head down, muttered)

  … you go straight to hell …

  TOBIAS (Attempt at cheer)

  Now, now, what’s going on here?

  JULIA

  (Right in front of him; force)

  Will you shut her up?

  TOBIAS (Overwhelmed)

  Will I … what?

  AGNES

  (Marching toward the archway herself)

  Well, there you are, Julia; your father may safely leave the room now, I think.

  (Kisses TOBIAS on the cheek)

  Hello, my darling.

  (Back to JULIA)

  Your mother has arrived. Talk to him!

  (To TOBIAS)

  Your daughter is in need of consolation or a great cuffing around the ears. I don’t know which to recommend.

  TOBIAS (Confused)

  Have … have Harry and Edna …?

  AGNES (Exiting)

  No, they have not.

  (Gone)

  TOBIAS (After her, vaguely)

  Well, I thought maybe …

  (To JULIA, rather timid)

  What was that … all about?

  JULIA

  As they say: I haven’t the faintest.

  TOBIAS (Willing to let it go)

  Oh.

  JULIA (Rather brittle)

  Papers?

  TOBIAS

  Oh, yes; want them?

  JULIA

  Anything happy?

  TOBIAS (Hopefully)

  My daughter’s home.

  JULIA (Not giving in)

  Any other joys?

  TOBIAS

  Sorry.

  (Sighs)

  No; small wars, large anxieties, our dear Republicans as brutal as ever, a teen-age marijuana nest not far from here. …

  (Some wonder)

  I’ve never had marijuana … in my entire life.

  JULIA

  Want some?

  TOBIAS

  Wasn’t fashionable.

  JULIA

  What the hell do Harry and Edna want?

  TOBIAS (Scratches his head)

  Just let it be.

  JULIA

  Didn’t you try to talk to them today? I mean …

  TOBIAS

  (Not embarrassed, but not comfortable either)

  Well, no; they weren’t down when I went off to the club, and …

  JULIA

  Good old golf?

  TOBIAS (Surprisingly nasty)

  Don’t ride me, Julia, I warn you.

  JULIA (Nervously nicer)

  I’ve never had any marijuana, either. Aren’t I a good old girl?

  TOBIAS

  (Thinking of something else)

  Either that or lying.

  JULIA

  (Exploding; but anger, not hysteria)

  Great Christ! What the hell did I come home to? And why? Both of you? Snotty, mean …

  TOBIAS

  LOOK!

  (Silence; softer, but no nonsense)

  There are some … times, when it all gathers up … too much.

  JULIA (Nervously)

  Sure, sure.

  TOBIAS (Not put off)

  Some times when it’s going to be Agnes and Tobias, and not just Mother and Dad. Right? Some times when the allowances aren’t going to be made. What are you doing, biting off your fingernails now?

  JULIA (Not giving in)

  It broke off.

  TOBIAS

  There are some times when it’s all … too much. I don’t know what the hell Harry and Edna are doing sitting up in that bedroom! Claire is drinking, she and Agnes are at each other like a couple of … of …

  JULIA (Softly)

  Sisters?

  TOBIAS

  What? The goddamn government’s at me over some deductions, and you!

  JULIA (Head high, defiant)

  And me? Yes?

  TOBIAS

  This isn’t the first time, you know. This isn’t the first time you’ve come back with one of your goddamned marriages on the rocks. Four! Count ’em!

  JULIA (Rage)

  I know how many marriages I’ve gotten myself into, you …

  TOBIAS

  Four! You expect to come back here, nestle in to being fifteen and misunderstood each time!? You are thirty-six years old, for God’s sake! …

  JULIA

  And you are one hundred! Easily!

  TOBIAS

  Thirty-six! Each time! Dragging your … your—I was going to say pride—your marriage with you like some Raggedy Ann doll, by the foot. You, you fill this house with your whining. …

  JULIA (Rage)

  I DON’T ASK TO COME BACK HERE!!

  TOBIAS

  YOU BELONG HERE!

  (Heavy breathing from both of them, finally a little rueful giggle; TOBIAS speaks rather nonchalantly now)

  Well. Now that I’ve taken out on my only daughter the … disgust of my declining years, I’ll mix a very good and very strong martini. Join me?

  JULIA (Rather wistful)

  When I was a very little girl—well, when I was a little girl: after I’d gotten over my two year burn at suddenly having a brother, may his soul rest, when I was still a little girl, I thought you were a marvel—saint, sage, daddy, everything. And then, as the years turned and I reached my … somewhat angular adolescence …

  TOBIAS

  (At the sideboard; unconcerned)

  Five to one? Or more?

  JULIA

  And then, as the years turned—poor old man—you sank to cipher, and you’ve stayed there, I’m afraid—very nice but ineffectual, essential, but not-really-thought-of, gray … noneminence.

  TOBIAS (Mixing hardly listening)

  Unh-hunh …

  JULIA

  And now you’ve changed again, sea monster, ram! Nasty, violent, absolutely human man! Yes, as you make it, five to one, or better.

  TOBIAS

  I made it about seven, I think.

  JULIA

  Your transformations amaze me. How can I have changed so much? Or is it really you?

  (He hands her a drink)

  Thank you.

  TOBIAS (As they both settle)

  I told Agnes that I’d speak to Doug … if you think that would do any good. By golly, Dad, that’s a good martini!

  JULIA

  Do you really want to talk to Doug? You won’t get anywhere: the compulsives you can get somewhere with—or the illusion of getting—the gamblers, the fags, the lechers …

  TOBIAS

  … of this world …

  JULIA

  … yes, you can have the illusion ’cause they’re after something, the jackpot, somehow: break the bank, find the boy, climb the babe … something.

  TOBIAS

  You do pick ’em.

  JULIA (Pregnant)

  Do I?

  TOBIAS

  Hm?

  JULIA

  Do I pick ’em? I thought it was fifteen hundred and six, or so, where daughter went with whatever man her parents thought would hold the fief together best, or something. “Love will come after.”

  TOBIAS (Grudging)

  Well, you may have been pushed on Charlie. …

  JULIA

  Poor Charlie.

  TOBIAS (Temper rising a little)

  Well, for Christ’s sake, if you miss him so much …

  JULIA

  I do not miss him! Well, yes, I do, but not that way. Because he seemed so like what Teddy would have been.

  TOBIAS

  (Quiet anger and sorrow)

  Your brother would not have grown up to be a fag.

  JULIA (Bitter smile)

  Who is to say?

  TOBIAS (Hard look)

  I!

  (Pause. CLAIRE in the archway)

  CLAIRE

  Do I breathe gin?

  (JULIA sees her, runs to her, arms out, both of them, they envelop each
other)

  Darling!

  JULIA

  Oh, my sweet Claire!

  CLAIRE

  Julia Julia.

  JULIA

  (Semi-mock condemnation)

  I must say the welcome-home committee was pretty skimpy, you and Daddy gone. …

  CLAIRE

  Oh, now.

  (To TOBIAS)

  I said, do I breathe gin?

  TOBIAS (Not rising)

  You do.

  CLAIRE (Appraising JULIA)

  Well, you don’t look too bad for a quadruple amputee, I must say. Are you going to make me a whatever, Tobias?

  (To JULIA)

  Besides, my darling, it’s getting to be rather a habit, isn’t it?

  JULIA (False smile)

  Yes, I suppose so.

  CLAIRE

  (Sees TOBIAS is not moving)

  Then I shall make my own.

  TOBIAS (Getting up; wearily)

  Sit down, Claire, I’ll do it.

  CLAIRE

  I wouldn’t want to tax you, now.

  (Generally)

  Well, I had an adventure today. Went into town, thought I’d shake ’em up a little, so I tried to find me a topless bathing suit.

  JULIA (Giggling)

  You didn’t!

  TOBIAS

  (At the sideboard, disapproving)

  Really, Claire.

  CLAIRE

  Yes, I did.

  JULIA

  They’re not making them anymore.

  CLAIRE

  I know. Shhhh. I went into what’s-their-names’, and I went straight up to the swimwear, as they call it, department and I got me an eighteen-nineties schoolteacher type, who wondered what she could do for me,

  (JULIA giggles)

  and I felt like telling her, “Not much, sweetheart” …

  TOBIAS

  Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have a …

  CLAIRE

  Very. But I said, “Hello, there, I’m in the market for a topless swimsuit.” Hurry up there, Toby. “A what, Miss?” she said, which I didn’t know whether to take as a compliment or not. “A topless swimsuit,” I said. “I don’t know what you mean,” she said after a beat. “Oh, certainly you do,” I said, “no top, stops at the waist, latest thing, lots of freedom.” “Oh, yes,” she said, looking at me like she was seeing the local madam for the first time, “those.” Then a real sniff. “I’m afraid we don’t carry … those.” “Well, in that case,” I told her, “do you have any separates?” “Those we carry,” she said, “those we do.” And she started going under the counter, and I said, “I’ll just buy the bottoms of one of those.”

  JULIA

  No! You didn’t!

  CLAIRE

  Yes, I did. She came up from under the counter, adjusted her spectacles and said, “What did you say?”

  TOBIAS

  Shall I bring it, or will you come for it?

  CLAIRE

  You bring. I said, “I said, ‘I’ll buy the bottom of one of those.’” She thought for a minute, and then she said, with ice in her voice, “And what will we do with the tops?” “Well,” I said, “why don’t you save ’em? Maybe bottomless swimsuits’ll be in next year.”