And if the moon could talk
I wonder if he would tell the night
Just how lovely she is
With all those stars shining bright
The world still has much love to give, and I see it; I hope that those blinded by hate and rage will feel it. A love so fiery it becomes the colour of cherries and candles and lipstick, and they will finally see the world with all its love to give.
I will love you even if we don’t end up together. Even if you walk away from me, I will still love you. I will love you even if you marry someone else and on the coldest days of the year you spend your nights wishing you had married me after all, because no one knows how to ignite the fire in your soul quite the way I do.
Love makes us both happy and sad and there is not a soul alive that has been able to understand why.
When you take a lover who uncovers all your flaws, listens to the very essence of who you are and embraces you rather than judges you, hold on to this love for a lifetime, as you will never find a love quite as pure.
But the world is exhausted, and the only wealth we have left is love.
It will catch you off guard one day. You’ll be so surprised by it you may even lose your concentration. One moment you are living idly by and the next they are on your mind nearly every moment. You’ll lose sleep over the next time you’ll hear their voice. You might even find yourself daydreaming about a future together. One day you are ordering coffee every morning and the next you can’t even order coffee without thinking about ordering theirs too.
You remind me that my heart is still alive
Because every time you come home
it beats so hard
it brings me back to life
It’s the last day of the year
and I still lose myself
in good books
and warm tea,
those quiet nights
and writing your name
on my windshield.
What Makes Me Smile
You
in the morning light
after making love
all night.
I hope you find someone who never makes you question your own self-worth. I hope you find someone who chases your happiness as much as their own. I hope you find someone who supports you in the things you are passionate about. I hope you find someone who you can laugh with and sit in silence with and share your deepest secrets with. I hope you find someone who is your lover, your partner and your friend. I hope you find someone who treats you as their equal, who learns and grows with you and beside you. I hope you find someone who appreciates all the tiny details that make up who you are. I hope you find someone who respects your heart, your family and your values. I hope you find someone who reminds you that you deserve the love you give.
If you are heartbroken
I tried to stop loving you
so I built walls around my heart
and found other names
to whisper in the night.
But you carved yourself into my veins
whether you meant to or not.
And sometimes I wonder
if you remember the way we looked at each other
or maybe you just forgot.
Perhaps it’s just easier to smile and pretend everything is fine, rather than admit my heart’s a little swollen from losing something that wasn’t even mine.
You told me that I was your rose, but in the winter you turned your attention to all the other flowers in the garden instead of tending to my fallen petals.
My heart is not in my body
it’s lying under the castle you burned down.
Yet I am still here
an empty shell with bloodshot eyes
and a fake smile.
Sometimes I wonder of all the goodbyes you’ve ever said, if
mine is the one you can’t get out of your head.
in the end
we
as in you and me
were never
meant to be
You didn’t have to say anything that night; you did everything with your body and your eyes. The way you sat next to me, you were close enough to reach but too far to touch. And your eyes, those eyes that once said you’d love me forever, now spilled tears that this wasn’t worth the fight anymore.
When did you become so tired of us?
Don’t date broken girls,
my mother said.
“But they deserve to be loved too.”
And so I loved a broken girl more than anything,
I just didn’t realise she would break me too.
And I count all the days
you say I love you
and I die on the days
you don’t.
Thinking maybe you might leave
and praying that you won’t.
I never really knew how much the heart breaks
until I was lying next to you
and you were thinking about someone else
I still feel the aches you left behind, even after all the time you have been gone. This heart of mine has been broken before, but this emptiness has never left me quite as sore.
You betrayed me
Then you asked
“where are you now?”
But how could I stay
when you betrayed me?
It hurts a little and sometimes a lot
when you care about someone
but you’re both kind of messy
and the timing is all wrong
and you don’t feel like
kissing someone else
but you can’t force what’s not
and letting someone in
is scary enough
but even scarier
when your heart
isn’t as strong.
I picked up all your things
and I put them in a box.
I was going to send them back to you
all those things you gave me
when you promised I was the only thing you needed.
And then I realised
I can’t put every kiss in the box
or return every “I love you”
I can’t return every time I held you
or unwrite every love letter I wrote you
I can’t undo every time I touched you
or unhear the way you said my name
I can’t send back every “you’re beautiful”
because things will never be the same.
What am I going to do with all these things
if I can never pack them away?
I loved what we had too
The only difference was that I saw it as
forever
and you saw it as
just for now.
I asked you to ride shotgun with me.
I didn’t say hold the shotgun to my heart and
pull the trigger.
It’s been a while now and I still miss the way she said my name.
I didn’t know my bones could ache forever for so long.
They say there’s beauty in sadness but I don’t think so (at least not like this).
When it’s 3am and alcohol is the only thing that helps me sleep.
They didn’t warn me that heartache doesn’t always have someone to blame. Sometimes it’s no one’s fault (it’s probably all mine).
I found her sweater the other day and it still smells like her and that spring we spent telling each other we’d be forever.
I didn’t really think about how forever could end.
She used to call me beautiful and look at me with eyes that meant it. Now I just don’t know how I’m supposed to hear that word from anyone else.
I’m caught somewhere between moving on and holding on and not knowing which one I can handle best.
I feel messy and uneasy and I don’t understand how one person with pretty eyes can destroy an empire inside me just by walking away.
Her lips tasted like air after rain and
these days all I do is think about the way they felt between my thighs.
My pillow isn’t her and the song on the radio isn’t ours. I sit next to a girl in class but we can’t talk for hours.
Where do I go when a lover and a friend becomes a memory and a dead end?
I saw her by the escalators last week. I smiled at her and she looked the other way. I felt my heart splinter all over again.
Sometimes I write her letters thinking maybe she’ll write back.
She never does.
All your senses are heightened when you are heartbroken.
You hear things more clearly because it’s better than listening to the drum of your heart.
You feel the sun and the air on your skin because you are trying to feel things instead of shutting down.
You smell their perfume everywhere.
You still feel their fingers as though they are knotted through yours and it makes you cry.
Ghost
It happens. They forget the sound of your voice, the shape of your eyes and the curve of your smile. When you left, you tried to leave traces of yourself behind. But your smell on their sweater eventually fades, and your things in their drawers get pushed to the back and suddenly you aren’t real anymore. So you are replaced with someone who is. You are a ghost, a shadow, only a memory. So much that you wonder if you even existed to them at all.
You spend your whole life convincing yourself you are a chapter worth following, and then someone comes along and doesn’t want to read the ending and suddenly the whole story falls apart.
That’s what happens
when your heart breaks,
you tell yourself no one
will ever be allowed inside again
but then someone comes along
with light in their eyes
and suddenly your heart
goes to war with your head
When the stars ask you what it is you want,
why do you speak of a love that tears you apart?
Why do you crave a love that will break your heart?
Your soul is never beyond repair, so stay humble and be kind
and eventually a love will come along
and remind you of why you are alive.
I forgave you for myself.
Not for you.
You were too selfish for me.
So when you broke my heart,
I decided to be selfish too.
Selfish in the way I stopped
Making everything about you.
When you are wounded, sometimes it’s best to retreat and heal. But do not stay hidden for too long, because all wounds need air.
Stop trying
to convince yourself
of the things
you already know.
Your head wants
another war
when your heart
needs to let go.
I know what it feels like
for my heart to ache
and my soul to cry.
I know what it feels like
for things to be so hard
it takes everything to get by.
I know what it feels like
when nothing seems steady
and for things to derail.
I know what it feels like
to have person after person
cause your heart to fail.
But one day I hope you see
the love you give yourself
heals all parts eventually.
Until finally she walks in
and sets your heart free
and reminds you why
everyone else
wasn’t meant to be.
Breathe in, breathe out slowly and count to ten. There is no rulebook on how to cope when these things end. You may not feel it now, but things will get better, even if life doesn’t tell you when.
That’s the thing about moving on. You are never going to find a love quite like the one before. The key is to stop wanting the same things and embrace the things to come.
But you have to lay it to rest now. There is no point trying to revive a flame that has long extinguished. You sit at the gravestone of a fire that died out, and yet there is a city of flames burning in the distance. There is no need to punish yourself; you keep this up and you’ll be missing out.
If you are lonely
How does loneliness still exist with all these souls in the world?
I fall a little in love
With people who feel so alone
Until the crowd falls away
And they see you
Standing there
Waiting
Like you promised
And suddenly they realise
They’re not
My therapist asked, “How do you prepare for the day?”
And I replied, “I count my lies, find my mask and pretend it isn’t easier to fly away.”
I am no more the person that you left, than you are the person I miss.
Anchor
An anchor holds me down. I am a lonely ship and this weight will not let me go. I long to be free, to sail the ocean as far as one man can see. But there is an anchor, and the anchor is forcing me to drown.
she’s the type of girl
that has a place in her heart
for all the lonely people to go
with their forgotten footprints
in the snow
You are a lonely sailboat, afraid of drowning where no one will see. Yet you forget you have never been alone, not while you have the sea.
Lately I have been making too many excuses
You were a star I caught while gazing, but you burnt a hole in my hand
You stripped me of all my certainty and left me with all these bruises
You stole so much of me, more than I had ever planned
But it is a new day and I feel like coming home
Back to all the parts of me I’d forgot, the part that I don’t feel
But solitude can be a dangerous thing. All that comfort found lost in your own thoughts. It is easy to stay and never return, but braver to walk through the tunnel and out the other side.
Imagine yourself a solar system, and the sun is your core. You are never going to truly lose the sun. But night does happen, so recharge and be ready to rise again in the morning.
I get jealous
even when people
aren’t mine
because others
are reckless
with their hearts
and forget to
be kind
The Bus Stop
There is a bus stop on the corner and each morning a gentleman sits. He feeds crumbs to the birds and whistles a song I do not know. And I wonder if anyone leaves roses on his windowsill to remind him that he is not alone.
I know there isn’t a thing
I could say
to make the thoughts in your head
any easier
but I hope you know
that above all the things
running through your head
sometimes it’s about
what runs in your heart instead
and if there’s anything I know
about the things inside
your heart
it’s that they are beautiful things
and strong things
and things that will always
be okay
and if the things in your head
seem a little messy
and the things in your heart
weigh a little heavy
just know that you’ll beat
all of these things
and I’ll always love you
even with all your things
Sometimes a certain sadness
comes along
and you might not know
where it is that you belong
but your heart is home
and I want you to know
yo
u are never alone.
Sometimes others say
hurtful things
that make you feel
like your face is twisted
and they suffocate your heart
and some days it seems
like everything is slowly
falling apart.
Sometimes your body aches
and you feel like lead
and it’s easier to pull your covers
all the way over your head
and pray that you never
wake up
but it’s very important
that you do.
So if you don’t feel beautiful
when you open your eyes
I hope this reminds you
that I think you are,
Just try to remember this too
In the moments you feel alone
and every mountain is too great
for all the answers left unknown
and convinced it is always too late