There is happiness in this lifetime
one day these troubles will fade
all your strength is in the skyline
no matter how heavy your heart weighs
And some days it seems
hope and despair take turns
but despite all our sadness
the sun always returns
I just wanted you to know
That I’ll never care
How far you push me away
Because when I told you
That I would stay
I meant it.
You’re a little lost
And a little damaged
But you’re not hopeless.
I know who you are
I love who you are
And that’s why I’ll stay
So you learn to love
Yourself too.
I know you’re scared right now
Maybe you miss
Someone
Maybe your heart hurts a little
Or a lot
Or maybe you’re not quite sure
Of who you are
Or what you want
But that feeling you
Want back
The one where it doesn’t seem
Like the whole world is against
You
It’s still here
It never really left
And one day you will realise
That the only person
Who can find it again
Is you
There are little pieces of happiness and they are scattered through your day. So take a basket with you as you step outside, fill it up with all the little pieces and bring it back inside. Take a moment, just by yourself, take out all of the pieces and place them on your shelf.
I hope you know you are loved. I hope things get simpler for you, peaceful. Spend your days with easy breaths and soft words. You deserve light through your windowsill. I hope it comes your way soon.
If you are sad
Who made you feel this way
Like your heart’s too heavy
And all its soft parts
Are gone?
Who made you feel
Like this toxic thing
Like no one
Wants you
And you don’t belong?
Who made you feel
Like your scars
Aren’t beautiful
And your baggage
Isn’t worth carrying?
Who made you feel
Like you don’t
Deserve everything
And you aren’t
Someone worth keeping?
Just tell me where
It all went wrong
So I can make you feel
Like you really belong
You’re beautiful
without even trying
but each time
I bring you a flower
it ends up dying
and you don’t see
how I look at you
you just keep crying
and the saddest part
is that you’re so special
but you think I’m lying
The stars have died
And left their light to you
Remember this when
You feel weak
And worthless
And blue
I have never known what this sadness feels like
when you cannot feel the sun or the air around you
And time they say will heal you
but even my own mother doesn’t know what to do.
You said you wouldn’t hurt me
You promised to keep me safe
You knew what the others had done
and I fell for the sincerity on your face.
Maybe I deserved this
for trusting someone who could manipulate so easily
Maybe I deserved this
for not listening when mother knows best.
But all I was trying to do
was show you that even a monster can be loved.
Is that why you play the music so loud? A beat to drown out the thoughts, sound so high you cannot think, lyrics so close to home, you don’t even blink.
It’s exhausting to be locked in your head with all these thoughts that tie you down. Just for one moment, try with all your might to let go of all the things that stop you from being you.
I understand why people take flight from bridges,
I understand why a girl holds a blade to her wrist,
I understand why a grown man cries counting all his lists.
What I wish for the world to understand,
is that in these fragile moments,
patience and love are needed most.
My soul is numb, and I am desperate to feel. In times of distress and sadness, mornings are no longer forgivable, and waking up isn’t ideal.
I knew what I was going to say; I had rehearsed my goodbye over and over again, but you left without a word.
I keep wondering
how sad do I have to be
for someone to stop insisting
everything is going to be fine?
You promised you would never take a road that I could not follow, yet here we are; I’m crying on the bathroom floor and you’ve taken the road I couldn’t follow.
If I had a list of all the things that still make me cry, some days you would be at the end and others the very start.
This sadness that they say can be beautiful, what sadness is this? Because my sadness rips me apart from the inside, and there isn’t a thing beautiful about it.
Of all the tragedies on this earth, there is none more tragic than a person who cannot see their worth.
Sometimes sadness does not have a source. There is no immediate solution, no escape plan from its clutches. Instead you learn to coincide, as though sadness is an old friend who needs a gentle nudge in the right direction.
The tragedy of what could have been
is nearly as crippling as what once was
but can never be again.
Even sadness needs someone in its corner.
You won’t remember, they say, when someone drifts away. One minute you are talking about life’s greatest adventures and listening to mixtapes on Monday afternoons, and the next their presence is replaced with silence: a fragile nonexistence with nothing else to lose. But I will always remember our drift. It took up all this space, like a planet with many moons. It was the year you forgot my birthday.
Everyone has a part inside
that aches with a sadness
sometimes you cannot hide.
It will start with the big things, like their seat next to you at the family dinner table on Sunday evenings or their name next to yours on invitations. And then suddenly all the little things will fade too. You won’t remember the sound of their voice in the morning or how their hand felt in yours. You won’t remember all the tiny details of every date you had or all the conversations you shared late at night. And then one day someone will ask you their favourite colour, and you’ll hesitate.
There are days where triggers are around every corner, lurking in shadows where darkness spills heavy breaths and tight chests. Anxiety is a devastating thing. No matter how many times you are told to “breathe” it feels as though the air has all but thinned, and despite every logical reason to remain calm, you feel like a ship without its sails in the middle of a raging storm.
Even if your sadness
feels quite heavy
the truth is
it’s just a paperweight
Learn to turn the page
I saw an angel once
But she had lost her wings
I saw an angel once
She seemed broken of all things
I saw an angel once
And asked her why she was sad
The angel looked at me and said
“Because the world has gone mad”
May your wea
pon be kindness
Your shield compassion
May the flowers grow again
To sprout love from all this sadness
One day you are going to look at someone and say, “I survived.” There is great satisfaction in that. Even more if the person staring back comes from your mirror.
If you are missing someone
If I had any say and my life to do again, I’d have moved us closer.
There goes the love of my life
Passing by in my dreams
It’s been so long since I’ve knocked on her door
Sometimes I wonder how I will stay strong
And I can’t sleep
And I can’t think
And I will keep driving this long road
Until the darkness fades and the morning rises
Only 30 more days and lonely nights in between
Until I see her again
It’s been so hard
Some days I can’t wake up
Some days I fall apart
But she has never left my dreams
There goes the love of my life
We are standing at the edge of the world and yet we still do not meet. You are soaked in daylight and I am covered in the night. My heart yearns for our eclipse.
I am sorry we are in different states and towns
I am sorry for that day I didn’t reply so you drove sixteen hours of dark highway
We are breaking the whole world’s heart, all these lonely nights without each other
Or maybe the world is slowly breaking us
I’m sorry for all the days we’ve spent separately
I’m sorry for all the time we cannot make up
I’m sorry for being caught up in all your lonely
I just wanted a place to stay
You were always miles away. Maybe you were just always meant to be miles away. The distance saw us together in a dream and thought we were better off without all the mess.
It’s 3am and I am lying alone
Because you just hung up the phone
We’ve spent half the night arguing
Because you’re there and I’m here
But what else can we do
I guess this is growing up
When things don’t work out
And you fight to hold on
Until you realise that sometimes
The only thing you have
Is to keep moving on
It feels like the universe closes in around us when you touch me. But the moment is so fleeting and you are gone again. Then it is just me with too much space. The universe is awfully large and I am awfully small and I wish you were here to close the space.
There is so much noise
The city never sleeps
And I long for just one day everything is so
quiet
You and I could hear the clouds move
It’s midnight and I thought about
Boarding a plane and meeting you in the city
I thought about stitching you into my skin
So you’d be with me as I slept
I wish you were here
Or I were there
Because my heart caves in when I look at you
And it feels like your hands twist around
My rib cage
And take the air from my lungs
My head starts pounding
And I just want to kiss you
It’s midnight
And I just want you
I will love you through all the miles and the thoughts late at night.
I will love you through every day and as the darkness turns to light.
It’s four o’clock in the afternoon and this is the hardest part.
But this is the way I love you, even if most days we are apart.
You take up all the space in my heart
and when you are not here
I am jealous of the sheets that hold you,
because I am kept awake by the distance that keeps us apart.
But when I am with you
I can barely express how much I care.
So let’s just stay in bed all day
and I’ll play with your hair.
We can share every innocent dream and talk about all our fears
and I will run my hands across your thighs and your hips.
I will kiss your forehead, your knuckles, and your lips.
Just tell me softly that you love me,
because when you said my name,
I swear my heart was never the same.
Wait for me,
I am coming home.
You are the soul
I have always known.
Chicago
I’m in Chicago and you’re at home,
how can we be so in love and yet so alone?
It’s been so hard, how many more days must we be apart?
All the nerves in my heart, wondering if things have changed,
All the time apart, wondering if we’ll still be the same.
I’m in Chicago and you’re at home, and I’m watching life pass.
I miss you when I am alone.
Before the river takes our love and carries it out to sea,
I wanted to thank you for loving someone as broken as me.
I know it wasn’t easy,
I know it wore you down.
Before the cities burn to ashes and the sky rains tears,
I wanted to say I’m sorry for all these wasted years.
Before our bones are no more our bones
and our lips are no longer our lips,
I hope you take a lover who sails a different ship.
May your nights become less brutal
and your mornings a little kinder,
may your heart find warmth with someone older
and a little wiser.
I’ve made a funny little habit of parking out near the bay. I like to watch the planes take off, fly overhead and disappear into the clouds. I pretend I am up there too, on my way to see you.
Here is to tomorrow, bringing us one day closer to each other, until the day arrives that we meet again. Midnight weighs heavy on my soul as the earth folds into itself, every fold bringing us closer together.
And in the end it all matters, this distance that we are, creating all this longing.
The butterflies I feel for you, listening to our song on the radio, the way I miss you even in the early hours of the morning.
Wondering about the day I will have you through the night before.
The words are melting in my mouth like snow and I feel like I’m running on empty, but there are only 17 more days until you’re home. I have dreamt every night of the morning we are together again. You will be drinking coffee and I will be talking about how the leaves are changing. In your absence I can barely speak a word, but soon you will be home, and I will watch the leaves until we are together again.
But your love is not with you, not tomorrow or the day after or the next. So you find your lover in your dreams, and this is why you are always smiling in the dark, right before you sleep.
Time is valuable. For all the time we’ve lost by not being together, it has made you the most valuable thing to me.
But life has plans for all people. Even if those plans separate us from the ones we love. No matter where my life takes me or yours takes you, I will love you whether there are 1000 miles between us or none at all.
The distance isn’t going to be easy. No one wants to sleep in an empty bed while you think about the one you love sleeping in theirs. Long distance relationships are difficult but they can also be beautiful. Imagine building a foundation of love, trust and honesty without even a single touch. Then imagine the foundation when the snow finally returns to the mountain.
If you need encouragement
I will not bandage all your
Wounds
I will not kiss all your
Bruises
I wil
l not admire all your
Scars
Instead I will watch you
As you bandage yourself
And mend all your bruises
And wear your own scars
Because you are your own
Hero
And all your sadness is
Yours
And I will love you
Because of it
All
She’s that girl
who doesn’t believe
in herself all that
much
and for the life of me
I can’t understand
why
because my belief
in her
goes beyond the sky
I think about people sometimes
Like how they have their coffee
And if they like butter on their toast
I think about whether they’re
Afraid of the same things I am
And whether they’re chasing
Dreams every day
I think about the scars they
Have on their bodies
And the light that shines in their eyes
I think about whether they