Tin Universe Monthly #14c 2014 Easter Special, Page 2

still.”

  According to Peachbrown he founded the group because the whole time while growing up his family told him he was to be a witness to the end times. That he was a special child of God but he was weak and didn’t know how he could survive until the end to witness it all.

  But when Pulpy appeared and more and more Beyond Humans were sighted he along with his wife decided they needed to be of the strong to be of witness to the end of times.

  The Peachbrown’s combined real science with other religious doctrines to form the rules and ways to achieve their goals. They absorbed several other apocalyptical groups to strengthen their numbers. They absorbed the Do And Ti, Heaven’s Gate, and the Human Individual Metamorphosis Project.

  The Human Individual Metamorphosis Project is still going strong by the way. Otherwise known as H.I.M. It was and is a cult like group within U.S. government black operations.

  Peachbrown told Lick that their first touch of the other in creation was when they made their first sacrifice series. If this act had failed they probably would have disbanded everything. If all those old people they killed in their sleep had just died it would have been over. They would have drifted to more mainstream cults putting money in offering plates and yelling about the Gay Agenda.

  But the sacrifices didn’t fail. After the seven nurses in the group took their seventh life to kneel before the power of The Old Ones Peachbrown was changed and in ways everyone around him could see and thus believe in his words.

  After that last taking of life he could see the threads that pull and twist human lives. The other places that we could exist if we learned what real perception of reality really was. He said to perceive reality in a real way was like free walking through a million roomed house and being able to do whatever you wanted.

  As Peachbrown’s last words gurgled out. As the blood seeped through Lick’s fingers Lick once again saw how powerful the human mind could be when changing the course of other people’s lives. Information and how to use it can change and shape the world.

  And if you are wondering why the mass suicide sacrifice didn’t work? It was because their leader had more fear than his followers.

  That’s never a good thing.

  Especially with stupid ass batshit cults who thought killing old farts and then themselves would somehow give them super powers.

  The friendship between Rub and Lick was built before The Pearl book club became The Pearl who are now involved in crazy crazy shit all the time as a crazy crazy shit club.

  Their friendship was founded on a mutual love for such movies as Barbarella and Space Adventure Cobra, and a love of all strange things people are capable of doing to each other.

  So, yea, both a little strange, at times assholes, but continually interesting.

  When they first started hanging out with each other outside of Pearl gatherings they choose to meet up at places where there was no chance of them running into any of the other members of the group.

  One such place they frequent often is called Mikey’s Winnies And Stubs. It’s a local hotdog place that was famously known for being shut down for more health code violations than any other place in the state.

  It was never finally closed down because of two reasons. 1, the food was so fucking good, and 2, the owner was on the local town council.

  Three cheers for local government’s shady ways.

  Rub and Lick found a place to sit outside M.W.S., as locals like to call it, and nodded to the waitress to bring them their usual of four chili dogs, an large order of cheese fries, and one super large soda.

  ‘What’s your thinking on zombies?’ Rub asked his friend, ‘I keep reading more and more stories of zombie sightings or zombie cover-ups.’

  ‘You could say its pop culture sipping into our shared perceptions. I think real but that zombie hunter guy in the gas mask that keeps popping up online in discussions always looks creepy and a little short for his line of work in those internet photos,’ Lick

  ‘Really, short?’ Rub

  ‘Fuck you,’ Lick

  ‘The mask is cool,’ Rub

  ‘Gas masks are always cool no matter who is wearing them. That’s the point. Otherwise it begs to asking- why would he be wearing it except for the cool factor?’ Lick

  ‘True. You always bring out another way of looking at things,’ Rub

  ‘My father once said answering even a simple question with a simple answer is showing your stupidity and the stupidity of the person who asked the question,’ Lick

  ‘How about Operation Snow White?’ Rub

  ‘What about Operation Snow White?’ Lick

  ‘Do you think it was real?’ Rub

  ‘It’s pretty much fact that it was real, isn’t it? And not really surprising. This just brings to mind how all the stupid and immoral shit Scientologists do and people act like this is new ground for organized religion when it’s just them firmly joining the club that Catholicism and other religions have had a firm hold on. The asshole club,’ Lick

  ‘Again sir, so true,’ Rub answered with a I’m having fun smile, ‘Is this going to be one of those flirtatious back and forths we do where each of us asks questions and the other tries to out stir them with their answers?’

  ‘Yes,’ Lick grinned, ‘But you usually end up asking all the questions.’

  ‘You are better at answers than me,’ Rub

  ‘Questions can be just as powerful as any answer,’ Lick

  ‘Ok, why do people eat hotdogs?’ Rub

  ‘Are we going to go on about how hotdogs include worms, maggots, rodent ass hair, glass dust?’ Lick

  ‘I guess not,’ Rub

  ‘My turn. Soda?’ Lick

  ‘Carbonated tap water. Whatever is in the local water were the soda is manufactured is also in your soda. Three cheers for the drunk high school students pissing in reservoir everywhere,’ Rub

  ‘SODA!’ Lick

  ‘SODA!’ Rub

  ‘It’s just evil,’ Lick

  ‘Do you know about Subway bread?’ Rub

  ‘Everyone knows about Subway bread,’ Lick

  ‘Doesn’t mean people let the truth seep into their heads. Like with cigarettes,’ Rub

  ‘When burned they create somewhere between 4,000 and 6,000 chemicals. More than a few of those are considered poisonous. Some of those chemicals are also found in nail polish remover, rat poison, rubber cement, and embalming fluid,’ Lick

  This is foreplay for them. Some major fucking is going to be going on later.

  ‘I love talking to you,’ Rub

  ‘A listing game disguised as a conversation?’ Lick

  ‘Pre dick sucking disguised as random information,’ Rub

  ‘It’s a joyous thing we do today. And more so what we will be doing later in my car,’ Lick

  ‘Favorite movies?’ Rub

  ‘Caligula, Daleks Invasion Earth 2150 A.D., and Zardoz,’ Lick listed. Then he asked, ‘Favorite TV shows?’

  ‘Blackadder, Burn Notice, and House,’ Rub counted. He threw out, ‘Favorite songs?’

  ‘American Pie, There Goes The Neighborhood, and Naveed,’ Lick

  ‘Cum?’ Rub

  ‘Nom, Nom, and Nom,’ Lick

  By this point no one was sitting near them.

  BREAKING NEWS: Four more states now have laws saying a woman can be fired for reporting domestic violence…

  BREAKING NEWS: Mysterious and rather rich man files claims in Florida court to family ownership of the states lands under the grounds that his ancestor was Juan Ponce de Leon nicknaming himself Governor de Leon…

  BREAKING NEWS: Leaflets and flyers have begun appearing all over St. Louis stating- It Is Time For The Bad Axe War…

  Chicago has many people who believe in many things about the world, themselves, and about the city. Cities breathe in and out their own kingdoms of leaders, victims, laborers, and defenders, and by these philosophies and belief systems the identity of the city emerges.

  The city of Chicago has many varied beliefs
from Judaism to Sikhism, from Original Sinners to The Church Of The Tomb, and everything in between and or to either side of those things.

  The things that rule the day in a city that is simultaneously known by a really cool nickname like Chi-Town and also Hog Butcher For The World, are never on the surface surface.

  It’s a metropolis of culture, sports, and history.

  A place for music, comedy, and The Bears!

  If you’re new here I do tend to list stuff a lot if you haven’t already noticed.

  Chicago might be all those things from culture and sports, to music and comedy, but it still also has a group of spirits from the Northwest Indian War haunting a neighborhood. Where there is Lincoln Park, there is also the Lincoln Park Zoo and its secret immortal Witchdoctor that works there as a janitor.

  Chicago is Chicago Style Pizza- It’s a pie people.

  Chicago is the Bulls- sorry, not happening anytime soon.

  Chicago is and no one should ever forget this when thinking anything about the city, beyond any measure of faith, culture, or politics…. Chicago is the Cubs.

  So it has its success, failures, and turns of shadows.

  Chicago also has its own urban legend hero too as almost all major cities tend to have.

  Though most are just rubbish bullshit.

  Sightings of Sym-Jolie started soon after the grenade attacks of a few years ago. Some say he is the city’s copping mechanism from what happen that day. A way for them to think they are protected from things that are out of control from the rules of the social contract.

  Others say he is a Beyond Human somehow avoiding the government’s eyes. Maybe through some kind of power that keeps them off his heels.

  The city’s official position is he doesn’t