Tin Universe Monthly #14c 2014 Easter Special

Tin Universe Monthly #14c 2014 Easter Special

  Copyright 2016 Brian Williams

  The sale of this book without its cover….well, is, sort of, impossible since it really doesn’t have a cover but let us go through the legal spray out anyways. If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that it was reported to the publisher as “unsold and destroyed.” Hands up to you who have books like this in your collection? Now that I put my hand down we can continue with the credits and copyright and legal and stuff that people just don’t ever pay attention to unless it is pumping their own horn.

  An Original Publication of System* Publishing, a Tin Universe book published by System*Publishing, a division of System*Productions, Melbourne, Florida. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead or living dead, is entirely and very much so in the coincidental.

  Written and Edited by Brian C. Williams

  Cover Digital Work by 74 Images

  Photography by Stainless Photography

  Cover Models Marlena Harold and Patience

  Beta Reader Melinda George- Harold

  2014 Easter Special

  This is the Tin Universe, even on zombie day.

  HAPPY ZOMBIE DAY!

  And keep those fucking peeps to yourself, they are the devils army.

  BREAKING NEWS: British Special Forces raid an address near Kent after a terrorist tip off to find a mass murder scene of 17 children, all of whom had been reported missing over the past three weeks…

  BREAKING NEWS: Are Swiss Banks secretly funding a Beyond Human training camp in Egypt? Iran says they have evidence to this being true...

  BREAKING NEWS: Activists release video of Beyond Human teenager being killed by U.S. drone in Pakistan…

  In any group of people you will have at least two who pare off and form a little team of their own. Sometimes these pairing are politically motivated. Sometimes they are genitals motivated. Sometimes they are friendship motivated.

  Sometimes it’s whether or not both of them like Classic Doctor Who.

  Within the reality theater of war that the group called The Pearl fight in they have such a paring off which consists of two weird ducks named Rub and Lick.

  They’re not literally ducks.

  Thought I’d clarify since I’m strange enough to write something like that.

  Rub is the group’s healer. A man of peace who is always heavily armed with weapons of all kinds but he is also a Jewish Shaman. Where he came about all those combinations I don’t know but that’s normal compared to his dress sense which is like homeless slash 1980’s pop star.

  Long permed mullet and all.

  He is very much a mixed bag of cultural appropriations that are hiding a past he is avoiding at any cost.

  Everyone has stories about themselves that they tell. These stories are ways to try and push forward a certain image of how they want people to see them. These stories are more than likely to be less than half truths but they are still very important to getting insight into who a person really is.

  One of Rub’s most used stories took place while on a vacation to Australia, Sydney to be precise. It’s a story Rub tells to show people that there isn’t really much that shocks or astonishes him.

  It was 1999 and after coming out of a pub having had a good half day of beer drinking and food eating with a friend Rub started his walk back to his hotel. It was a long walk but he was too drunk to think about that or notice anything that was starting to happen around but that drunken haze that sometimes keeps us from noticing things would disappear soon as the skies changed and a hailstorm started.

  Even drunk Rub noticed the skies didn’t look normal. He thought to himself maybe this was an Australian thing but he had never heard of clouds changing to shades of purple during a storm.

  Even in Australia.

  The hailstorm started normal for a hailstorm at first but almost as if someone was twisting a nob turning the size of the hail up with each sheet that came down it went from hail to oh fucking hell.

  Rub staggered inside a chemist to watch the scene unfold and unfold and to buy some gum.

  What unfolded was one of the most costly and truly bizarre natural disasters in Australian history. The huge hail which ended up the size of softballs or some Australian equivalent was followed by mud, frogs, and fish.

  Sounds more like a bad restaurant menu than a storm but that’s what Rub and so many more witnesses on that day witnessed.

  Scientist say winds of dust storm mixed with the hail storm and created some kind of vortex of strange but the simple facts are it started to rain mud.

  Mud.

  Like sheets of mud.

  It was a mud shower.

  And that sounds like some sex thing but it was mud.

  Dirty.

  Smelly.

  Mud.

  It mud rained for two hours but after the rains of hail and mud stopped the really real weird started. Out of clearing skies falling down came a mixture of frogs and fish.

  The sky above Sydney was raining living things and to put a check on the weird in a bold font a huge arch of unnatural colours arched over Sydney harbor that screamed to the people there that day that you just lived through something that will make for a good story for you to tell.

  Rub likes to mouth off about that storm to act like the strange life he lives now as one of The Pearl doesn’t throw him that much.

  He’s lying by the way.

  Whether his story about that day in Sydney is true or not, and it’s got truth in it, the fact is the life he is living now would shake the sanity of any man.

  Rub’s buddy Lick is the always mouthing off, very intellectual, dwarf schemer.

  Don’t call him little person.

  Don’t try to get all scientist liberal cool in talking about him and the way “you” think he was born into this world.

  In his own words, “I’m not Dwarfism. I’m a dwarf. This is me. Fuck what’s you. I know my families history.”

  Lick has so many stories but a favorite over beers is the one about his time working as a security guard for The Stars Retention Heavenly Grace Center while he was in college.

  Everyone has at least one fucked up to pay for college job story.

  Well, not everyone.

  But most of us do.

  Lick tells this story to put people off balance. He is the sort of person who likes to do that a lot. The times he has made total strangers puke talking to them is just too numerous to number.

  The S.R.H.G.C. was an American Beyond Human worship group based for the most part in Texas.

  Yes… gotta love the crazy in Texas. They just grow a different class of it there.

  Though Florida is moving up towards that level quick.

  The group was founded not too long after Pulpy’s first appearance by a very rich man named Fraiser Peachbrown and his wife Torns.

  On a normal hot Texas day after no one brought him his daily center supplied meal Lick investigated and found the bodies of 75 members of the S.R.H.G.C. in a scene right out of a 70’s horror film.

  They had killed themselves in an act of mass suicide thinking doing so would have granted them Beyond Human abilities. Their mass suicide also happen the same time as the Comet Hale-Bopp.

  And they weren’t the only bad shit people to do something stupid on that day.

  In a story Lick never told the police but loves to divulge when really drunk he found one person still grasping to life in the middle of the blood mess when he uncovered the
gruesome scene of all those people who had slit each other’s throats.

  The survivor barley holding onto life was Peachbrown.

  Peachbrown had fucked up his own throat slitting being the last one and having to do himself.

  Lick knelt down by his body as Peacchbrown begged him to call for help. That he didn’t want to die. That all he had believed in was wrong. Lick put pressure on the wound but told him, “I want you to explain your life. Tell me why you lived and I might help you live longer