Junie B., First Grader: Aloha-ha-ha!, Page 2

  My eyes lighted up very thrilled.

  “A new friend?” I said. “You got me a new friend?”

  She ruffled my hair.

  “I sure did. Wait here and I'll go get her,” she said.

  As soon as she left, I grabbed my favorite stuffed elephant named Philip Johnny Bob. And I danced him all around the room.

  “A new friend, Philip! I'm getting a new friend!” I sang real happy.

  Philip sucked in his cheeks.

  You don't need a new friend, Junie B. You have me, remember? I am your friend.

  I hugged him very tight.

  “Yes, I know you are my friend, Phil,” I said. “But it's still nice to make other friends, too. Right?”

  Wrong, said Philip. You only need me. And that's all.

  Just then, Mother came back with my new friend.

  And my whole mouth came open, I tell you!

  “A HULA GIRL BARBIE! IT'S A HULA GIRL BARBIE! I'VE ALWAYS, ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THESE THINGS!” I said. “THANK YOU, MOTHER! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!”

  I looked at Barbie through her box.

  “Wow! Look! She has her very own hula skirt! And her very own hula sandals! Plus also, she's got a hula wreath around her neck!”

  Mother smiled.

  “It's not a hula wreath, Junie B. It's called a lei,” she said. “A lei is a necklace made of flowers. We'll see lots of them in Hawaii.”

  I took Hula Girl Barbie out of her box. And I danced around some more.

  “I think I will name her Delores,” I said. “Delores has a nice ring to it.”

  Finally, I stopped dancing. And I introduced her to Philip.

  “Philip Johnny Bob, meet Hula Girl Delores,” I said.

  Hello, said Delores.

  Whatever, said Philip.

  After that, I put both of those guys in my backpack. And I zipped them up real tight.

  “Now I won't even be boring on the plane! Right, Mother? Right? ’Cause first I will color. And then I will play with Hula Girl Delores. Plus also, I can take some pictures of the plane with my photo-journal camera!”

  Mother gave me a hug. And she went to her room to pack her own suitcase.

  As soon as she was gone, a scuffle broke out in my backpack.

  I opened it up to see the trouble.

  Philip said to please get him out of there right exactly now. On account of Hula Girl Delores was poking him with her pointy, hard hands.

  I took him out and put him on my bed.

  “Okay. You can stay out here for one more day, Phil,” I said. “But tomorrow you're going to have to ride in the backpack with Delores. Or else you won't be able to fly to Hawaii with us.”

  Just then, chill bumps came on my arms.

  “Hawaii, Phil,” I whispered. “We're really, really, really going to Hawaii.”

  After that, I jumped off my bed.

  And I straightened out my arms.

  And I zoomed around my room like I was flying some more.

  The next morning, we took baby Ollie to my grandma and grampa Miller's house. ’Cause that is where his vacation was going to be.

  I kissed him goodbye. And I pretended I would miss him.

  “Goodbye, little Ollie. I wish you could come with us,” I said real sad.

  Everyone smiled at me.

  Nice fibs are okay to say, I think. Only I'm not sure of the exact ruling on that.

  After all of us said goodbye, me and Mother and Daddy drove to the airport.

  And then what do you know?

  We started waiting in a million jillion lines.

  First, we waited in the “getting our car into the parking lot” line. Then we waited in the shuttle-bus line, and the “give the man your suitcase” line, and the “get your boarding passes here” line.

  After that, there was just one more line to go. It is called the “now we're going to look through all of your stuff with our X-ray vision” line.

  That line is exactly like the lines at Disneyland, except for it's longer. Plus there's no actual ride at the end.

  While I waited, I unzipped my backpack. And I checked on my toys.

  Philip Johnny Bob made grumpy elephant eyes at me.

  Delores keeps poking me. Tell her to stop poking me, he grouched.

  He turned back to Delores. And he did a grr.

  Stay on your own side of the backpack, and I mean it, he said.

  Just then, Daddy grabbed my backpack.

  He quick zipped it up. And he shoved it into the X-ray-vision machine.

  Only too bad for Philip Johnny Bob. ’Cause he wasn't actually expecting that situation. And the machine was very dark inside.

  HEY! WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS? he shouted. GET ME OUT OF HERE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

  Suddenly, the X-ray-vision man stopped the machine.

  “Who said that?” he snapped. “Is someone trying to play games?”

  Daddy did a little smile.

  “Oh, uh … actually my daughter here said it,” he told him. “Sometimes she pretends that she's, well … you know … a stuffed elephant.”

  The X-ray-vision man looked at Daddy real suspicious.

  Then a lady pulled us out of the line.

  And she made us hold out our arms.

  And she waved a giant wand all around ourselves.

  I clapped very thrilled.

  “Hey! This is just like America's Most Wanted!” I said.

  The lady said this was not a joke, little miss.

  I stopped clapping.

  The airport does not have a good sense of humor.

  After we got to our plane gate, we waited and waited some more.

  Then at last! A man said it was time for us to board the airplane!

  Board the airplane is the airport word for What do you know? Another dumb-bunny line!

  Only good news!

  This time, we were near the front! And so finally, finally, finally … we got to our seats!

  “I GET THE WINDOW SEAT! I GET THE WINDOW SEAT!” I called real loud.

  Then I ran there speedy quick. And I sat right down.

  There was a teensy little shade on the window!

  I pushed it up and pulled it down.

  It was a little bit stuckish.

  That's how come I kept pushing and pulling and pushing and pulling until it loosened up.

  Pretty soon, I tapped on Mother and Daddy.

  “Watch me, okay? Watch me work the window shade!” I said.

  I took a big breath and started right in.

  “Up and down! Up and down! Up and down!” I said.

  I stopped and breathed again.

  Then I speeded up a little bit.

  “Upanddown upanddown, upanddown upanddown upand—”

  Just then, Mother reached out her hand. And she stopped my progress.

  “Okay, good … fine. Excellent shade work. Thank you very much,” she said.

  Then she buckled my seat belt.

  I stretched out my legs as long as they would go.

  And guess what?

  They reached all the way to the seat in front of me!

  “Whoa! My legs are as tall as a giant!” I said.

  I flattened my feet against the seat. And I pushed and stretched some more.

  Then, all of a sudden, the lady in front of me popped up like a jumping jack! And she spun around real angry.

  “Would you please stop kicking my seat?” she grouched. “I don't like having my seat kicked.”

  Mother quick took my legs down.

  “Oh my. Sorry,” she said. “It's her first plane trip.”

  I looked at Mother very curious.

  “But I wasn't even kicking her seat,” I said. “My legs were just being tall.”

  The lady made a harrumph sound. And she turned around again.

  After that, I stayed real still. And I didn't move my muscles.

  Only wait a second! Hold the phone!

  Just then, I spotted the cutest thing I ever saw!
<
br />   And it's called, Hey! There's a little tray on the back of the grouchy lady's seat! And it's folded up real flat!

  I leaned up and opened it. “Ha! What will they think of next?” I said.

  I practiced folding it in and out.

  “Watch me, Mother! Watch me, Daddy!” I said.

  I stood up tall to demonstrate.

  “In and out … in and out … in and out … in and—”

  BAM!

  The grouchy lady popped up again.

  “What in heaven's name are you doing now?” she grouched.

  I did a gulp.

  “I'm demonstrating my tray table,” I said.

  Mother's face looked embarrassed.

  She said she is sorry again.

  The lady did a snort and turned back around.

  “Please, Junie B.,” said Mother. “Behave yourself. Do not touch that lady's seat one more time.”

  I slumped way down in my seat.

  Then I reached into my backpack. And I pulled out Philip Johnny Bob. And I whispered in his softie ear.

  “Do not touch that seat right there. Or a grouchy lady will snap your trunk off,” I said.

  Philip raised his eyebrows.

  I can't touch it? he asked. Not even with my little pinkie toe?

  I thought for a second.

  “Well, okay. I guess you can touch it with your little pinkie toe. But that's all,” I said.

  And so very careful, Philip reached out.

  And he touched the lady's seat with his pinkie toe.

  And ha!

  She didn't feel a thing!

  Me and Philip laughed and laughed at that funny joke.

  Then pretty soon, he tapped on his chin. And he looked curious at me again.

  Hmm. I wonder if there's a grouchy lady behind us, too? he asked.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I don't know, Phil. Why don't you take a peek?” I said.

  And so Philip Johnny Bob turned around. And he tried to peek through the seat crack. But he couldn't get a good look.

  So finally, I had to lift him way up to the top of my seat. And I let him stare back there for a while.

  Only, bad news. It didn't actually work out that good. On account of we forgot that Phil's eyes are buttons. And buttons do not have good distance vision.

  He came back very glum. Phooey, he said. I couldn't see a thing. Now what?

  I thought some more.

  Then yay! A little light bulb went on in my head! And I quick reached my hand into my backpack again. And I took out Hula Girl Delores!

  “Phil! Phil! It's Delores! It's Delores!” I said. “Delores is skinny enough to fit through the seat space! See? Plus her eyes are not even buttons!”

  Philip smiled. You are sharp as a tack, Junie B., he said.

  “I know it, Philip! I know I am sharp as a tack. And so I will send Delores on a spy mission to the seat behind us,” I said. “Please stand by.”

  After that, I picked up Delores. And I pushed her through the seat space. And I let her take a nice long peek.

  Only just then, a little bit of trouble happened.

  And it's called, I felt a tug on Delores's head.

  And then whoosh!

  Someone pulled her to the other side of the seat!

  I could not believe my eyeballs at that situation!

  Very quick, I got on my knees. And me and Philip looked over the top of my seat.

  And oh no, oh no!

  Another grouchy lady was staring back at us!

  She was holding Delores in her hand. And her face was not smiling.

  She did a frown at me.

  “You're a little bit old to be playing peekaboo, don't you think?” she grumped.

  I did another gulp.

  “Yeah, only we weren't even playing peekaboo,” I said.

  We were on a spy mission, said Philip Johnny Bob.

  Just then, Daddy stood up. And said a ’pology to the woman. And he got Delores back for me.

  Then he sat me back in my seat. And he said if I do not behave myself, we will turn this plane right around. And we won't even go to Hawaii!

  I looked and looked at that man.

  That was a bluff, I think.

  After that, I put Delores away in my backpack. And me and Philip whispered to each other real secret.

  “I can't believe it, Phil,” I said. “There's a grouchy lady in front of us and a grouchy lady behind us.”

  Philip did a sigh. We're right in the middle of a grouchy lady sandwich.

  We slumped down in our seat. And we looked out the window.

  Then whew! At last! The pilot talked over the loudspeakers. And he said we are next in line for takeoff!

  Me and Philip hugged each other real happy.

  And then, yippee! The engines got very loud.

  And the plane started to move.

  And we went faster and faster and faster!

  And … HA!

  WE WENT ALL THE WAY UP IN THE SKY!

  It was just like a magic carpet, I tell you! There were puffy clouds wherever I looked!

  “THIS VIEW TAKES MY BREATHING AWAY!” I hollered to Mother and Daddy.

  Mother smiled. “Yes, it does,” she said. “But you don't have to shout.”

  I pointed at my ears.

  “YEAH, ONLY THERE'S AIRPLANE NOISE IN MY HEAD! AND SO I CAN'T ACTUALLY HEAR MY OWN VOICE!” I explained.

  Mother picked up my backpack.

  “Well, let's try to find something quiet to do, okay?”

  “OKAY!” I said back.

  We looked through all the stuff I brought.

  Then hurray, hurray!

  I spotted my brand-new camera!

  “WOW! I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT ASSIGNMENT!” I said. “TODAY WILL BE THE FIRST OFFICIAL PICTURE FOR MY PHOTO JOURNAL!”

  My eyes lighted up.

  “HEY! I KNOW! YOU CAN TAKE A PICTURE OF ME BY THE WINDOW! OKAY, MOTHER? OKAY? A PICTURE OF ME BY THE WINDOW WILL BE THE PERFECT START!”

  Mother put her finger to her lips.

  “Shh! You're still talking too loudly, Junie B. Everyone can hear you,” she said.

  After that, she took out the camera. And she started to aim.

  “NO! NO! WAIT! HOLD IT! I DIDN'T EVEN GET POSED YET!” I told her.

  I quick undid my seat belt and leaned next to the window.

  “GET THE CLOUDS IN THE BACKGROUND, OKAY, MOTHER? ROOM ONE WILL LOVE TO SEE ME WAY UP HIGH IN THE CLOUDS!”

  Philip Johnny Bob was still sitting on the seat.

  I reached over and picked him up.

  “AND GET PHILIP, TOO! OKAY? JUST ME … AND PHILIP … AND THE CLOUDS … AND THAT'S ALL,” I said.

  Just then, Philip tapped on me. And he whispered a funny secret.

  I started to laugh.

  Then I told the funny secret to Mother.

  “PLUS PHILIP SAYS DON'T GET THE GROUCHY LADIES!” I said. “’Cause THOSE TWO GROUCHPOTS WILL RUIN MY WHOLE ENTIRE PHOTO JOURNAL.”

  Mother's eyes got big and wide at me.

  “SHH! JUNIE B.! PLEASE!” she said, very panicked.

  Then she quick tried to take the picture.

  But oh no!

  Both of those grouches sprang up as fast as springs!

  AND THEIR BIG GRUMPHEADS GOT RIGHT IN MY PICTURE!

  I covered my mouth real shocked.

  Mother covered her mouth real shocked, too.

  Then both of us kept our heads bent down, until the grouches stopped staring.

  After they were gone, I looked at Mother.

  “Me and my big fat mouth,” I said in a whisper.

  Mother kept her head down, and she talked to me through her fingers.

  “I couldn't have put it better myself,” she said.

  After that, she gave me back my camera. And she said that maybe we would try again later … after the dust settled.

  I did a sigh.

  “Yeah, only I can't try again later,” I said real whiny. “On account of I need to save
the rest of the pictures for Hawaii.”

  I slumped down very glum.

  Then I closed my eyes.

  And I thought about that stupid dumb picture caption.

  I did a cringe.

  My photo journal was not off to a good start.

  The plane ride took forever and ever.

  Me and Philip Johnny Bob ran out of stuff to play with.

  Then finally, we took a teensy little nap.

  And when we woke up …

  At last!

  We were at Hawaii!

  And wait till you hear this!

  As soon as we got off the plane, some Hawaii people gave us flower leis! And that is just plain friendly, I tell you!

  After Mother and Daddy got our suit-cases, we rented a car. And we drove to a pretty hotel.

  A man in a uniform opened the door for us.

  “Aloha,” he said real nice.

  “Alo-who?” I said back.

  “Aloha,” said the man. “Aloha is the Hawaiian word for hello and goodbye.”

  I smiled. “Hey! I like that word of aloha,” I said. “It sounds like it's laughing, sort of. Aloha! Ha-ha!”

  After that, I skipped inside the hotel. And my eyes popped right out of my head.

  ’Cause wowie wow wow! It was the most beautiful ’stablishment I ever even saw!

  It had lots of colorful flowers! And tall, skinny palm trees! Plus outside, there were two different kinds of water!

  First, there was an ocean with a real, actual beach. Plus also, there was a swimming pool with a real, actual diving board!

  And that is not even the end of the beauty!

  On account of—when we went to our room—there were two giant beds the size of a queen!

  I threw out my arms real joyful.

  “Hawaii!” I said. “You gotta love it!”

  Then I twirled and twirled. And I crashed into one of the beds. And I fell on the softie carpet.

  It was very thick and plushy.

  I did a yawn.

  Then I curled up very comfortable.

  And I closed my eyes.

  Daddy came over and picked me up.

  Then Mother put me to bed.

  And I slept all the way till morning.

  The sun shined in my eyes.

  I stretched very sleepy. And I looked all around the beautiful room.

  Then bingo!

  I remembered!

  “I AM IN HAWAII!” I said.

  I jumped out of bed. And I jiggled Mother and Daddy awake.