“Ruby!”Alanshoutedintothemagicalbox.“Areyouinthere?”
Moreofthemost-annoying-sound-in-the-world'sbuzzingblared throughmyhome.
“Ruby,I'mcomingin.”
Iwashalfafraidthathewasgoingtobusttheglassoutinthedoor tounlockit,soIdidmybesttohurrydownthehalltotheapartment door,pushthechairbacktoitsoriginalposition,andmakemywayoutto thelanding.Myhopewasthathewouldseemebeforehedidanything toobrash.Callinghisnameseveraltimes,Icautiouslyworkedmyway overtothelongflightofstairsandfoundmywaydownthem,slowlybut safely.
Ipacedoutthefourstepsnecessarytoreachthedoorandfumbled forthehandle.Oncelocated,Iflippedthelockandpulledthedoorajar forAlan,whoquicklybargedthroughitlikehispantswereonfire.
“Ijustgotyourmessage,Ruby.Iwasonmywayover―whatin God'snameisgoingon?”
Icouldhearhimmovingaroundbehindme.WhenIturnedtoface him,ittookmeasecondtolocatehisoutline.Icouldfeelhispanic instantly.
“Christ,Ruby,”hegasped,mostlikelystaringatmeinhorror.“Can you―”
“No,”Iinterrupted,cuttinghisquestionoff.“Ican'tsee.Iwokeup likethisandtotallypanicked.Cooper'sout.Seanisgone.Ididn'tknow whoelsetocall.”Istartedtofeelguiltyforcausinghimsuchalarm,butI hadmyreasonsandhewasn'tprivytothewhybehindthem.Hewas goingtowantanswersthough,andIhadn'tplannedfarenoughaheadto havesomeready.
“I'mtakingyoutothehospital,”heordered,takingmebymyelbow toleadmeoutside.
“No!”Iblurtedout,knowingthatwastheworstideaever.
Unfortunatelyforme,Alanwasn'tgoingtobeeasytoconvinceofthat.
“Youdidn'tletmefinish,”Isaidwithasigh,tryingtothinkfastonmy feet.CooperandSeanhadalwaysmaintainedthatIwasahorribleliar.I wouldsoonseeifAlanagreed.“AfterIhungupwithyou,Coopercalled meback.Ijustgotoffofthephonewithhimnow.”
“What'syourpoint?”
“Mypointisthatheknewwhatwasgoingon.Hesaidsomething aboutasideeffectofamedicationI'mon.Somethingaboutvisual disturbances.Idon'tknowallthedetails.Iwastoobusyfreakingoutto listen.”
“Well,youareashittylistener...,”hemumbled,probablynot meaningtosayitaloud.
“IknowIam.Anyway,hesaidthatitwasononeofthelabels.If anythinglikethishappened,Iwassupposedtostopthemeds immediatelyandwaittwelvehoursforthesymptomstodissipate.Ifthey don't, thenI'msupposedtogotothedoctor.”
“Butwhywait?”'
“Idon'tknow.It'swhatCoopersaid.I'msurehe'dbehappyto explainthingstoyouatgreatlengthifyoucallhim.I'mjusttrustinghis judgment.”
“Fine.Canyouseeanythingatall?Areyouallrighttobehome alone?”heasked,genuineconcernseepingintohistoneandenergy,“I couldbringyouovertothehouse.Kristyjustgotbacklastnight...”
“Ishouldbeokayhere.Icanseebasicshapesandobjects,soI'm nottotallyincapacitated,andCoopsaidhe'dbehomesoon.Besides,with allthoseroomsinyourhouseandbaby-toyfloorsnipers,I'mlikelytobe farmorehurttherethaninmyownspace,”Iarguedintelligently.They werevalidpoints.“Canyouhelpmeuptothecouchthough?Maybeturn theTVonforsomebackgroundnoise?”
“Ofcourse,”hesaid,leadingmetothesteps.Hebroughtmeinside andpositionedmetohislikingonthesofabeforeannouncinghis departure.“I'mgoingtobelateforwork,butifyouneedanythingelse, youcallme,understand?”
Hisvoicewaskindbutfirm.Hewasn'tmessingaround.
“Yes,sir,officer, sir! ”Ijoked,tryingtoletthesmilereachmyeyes andsethisatease.Ihadnowayofknowingifmyeffortswere successful.
“Where'syourphone?”heasked,pacingabouttheroom.Ittookhim aminuteorsoofsearchingthehousetolocateitandbringittome.“Use itifyouneedto,Ruby.For anything.Anythingatall.”
“Thanks,Alan.”
Hehoveredsilentlyforamoment,hisenergytentativeand uncertain.
“Ruby,”hesaidsoftly,hesitationtaintinghisdelivery.“I'vegot somethingI'vebeentryingtoshowyou―”
“Ha!”Iscoffed,“wellthatmightbeaproblem...”
“Yes,Iseethatnow―nopunintended.”
“Whatisit?”Iasked,proppingmyselfuponthecouch.
“It'saletter,”hesaid,sittingdownonthecoffeetableinfrontof me.“It'sfromMcGurney.”
“Buthe's―”
“Dead.Iknow.Itwassenttomebyhisdaughter,”heexplainedas heworriedthepaperinhishands.Thecrinklingsounditmadewas calming,buthisenergywasfarfromthat.“Shegotitinthemailadayor twobeforehedied.Itcametoherwithmynameandaddressonitand instructionstosendittomeifanythingshouldhappentohim.”
“Whatdoesitsay?”Iasked,leaninginclosetohisface,desperate togleansomethingfromtheexpressionIcouldn'tsee.
“It'scrazytalk,Ruby.You'llthinkI'mnutsforevenrepeatingit,”
hestarted,exhalingheavily.“Thepointisthatsomethingpushedhim overtheedge.Whateverhefoundoutmadehimcrazy,andhedied becauseofit.”
“Alan,”Isaidtersely.“Whatdoesitsay?”
Hehesitatedbeforestartingtotalk.
“Heramblesonandonaboutaconspiracy.”
“And?”Iprodded,needingtoknowmorethananythingexactly whatwaswritteninthemadman'snote.
“And,”hesighed.“Youwon'tbelievetherest.”
“Alan,”Isaid,grabbingathim.“Tryme.”
Beforehecouldanswer,footstepsechoedupthestairwellandAlan quicklyshotuptohisfeet.
“Someone'scoming,”hesaid,stuffingtheletterintohisjacket nervously.
Thedoorswungopen.IrecognizedCooper'senergystraightaway, andIsighedwithrelief.
“Iswearonallthat'sholy,Ruby,therearetimeswhenIwanttogive themback,”hebarked,beforecuttinghimselfshort.“Oh,hey,Alan.
What'sup?”
“Nothingmuch,Cooper.Rubycalledmeinapanicabouthereye situation,soIcameovertomakesureshewasokay.ButI'vegottarun.
Timeforwork.”
IwaswillingCoopertoplayalong.Icouldn'ttellifAlanwas lookingathimorme,butIshotalookinCooper'sgeneraldirectionthat said'readbetweenthelinesplease'.Hedidjustthat.
“Well,youknowRuby.Dramaishermiddlename,”hejoked, headedtowardthecouch.Icouldheartheboysupstairsandprayedthey weregoingtostaythere.Theymayhavebeenpack,buttheystilldidn't knowallmynuances.
“Exactly,”Alanrepliedwithahalfheartedchuckle.“I'llseeyoutwo later.”
Alanslippedoutoftheapartmentdoor,shuttingCooperandmein withtheCFoftheday.
“Eyesituation?”Cooperinquired,histonedubious.
“I'mdowntofourofmyfivesenses. Thatsituation,”Idelicately toldhim.“Ican'tsee,Cooper.I'mgoingblind.”
30
Hisemotionsassailedme.Beforehesaidanotherword,heturnedtheTV
uptotheloudestpossiblevolumethatstillallowedmetohearhim.He cametokneelbeforeme,hislargehandsencirclingminedelicately, pryingmycellphoneaway.Withmyhandsfree,theywandereduptohis face,exploringitslowly,workingtheirwayacrosseverylineandcrevice.
“Talktome,Ruby.Whatthefuckisgoingon?”
“Iwokeupthismorningandeverythingwasgone.AllIcanmake outisgeneraloutlines,”Itoldhim,gettingchokedup.“Ican'tseethe detailinyourfaceatall.”
“Sotheblurryvisionlastnight...?”
“Wasaprecursortothis,Iimagine.Infact,alotofthingsare startingtomakesense,actually.Walkingintowalls.Myeyesconstantly feelingtiredandweak.Somet
hingistrulywrongwithScarlet,Cooper.
Whereversheis,she'sfadingaway.”
Beforehecouldreply,myphonesprangtolife,demandingour collectiveattention.
“Hello?”Coopersnipped.Hedidn'tlovebeinginterrupted.“Whois this?No,notuntilyoutellmewhothisis.”
“Cooper,”Icalled,reachingoutforthephone.Ihadaninklingthat Iknewjustwhoitwas,andwithCooperhome,Ifeltwaymoreconfident aboutgettingthoseanswers.Cooperwasgoingtowantthemtoo.
Hedidn'targue,justslippedtheBlackberryintomyhand.
“Hello?Gavin?”
“He'sverytesty,”Gavinsneered.“Ifhewantstocontrolapack,he's goingtoneedtogetaholdofthoseemotionsofhis.”
“Yeah,well,weallhavefaults.Someofusarehotheads;othersare creepy,evasiveassholes.I'dcallitevenattheendoftheday.”
“I'mdisappointedthatyoutrustmesolittlethatyouwouldcallin thecavalry,Ruby.Idon'tknowhowmanytimesIhavetotellyou―I'm nottheenemy.”
“Thenstartactinglikeafuckingallyandtellmewhatyouknow,”I fumed.
Coopercametositbesideme,wantingtohearallthathecouldof theconversation.That,orwhiskthephonefrommeoncehegotpissed offenoughtostartlayingdownthelawtotheoldman.
“Ruby,youneedtounderstandthatsomeofwhatIkeepfromyouis inyourbestinterest.Noteverythingcancomeoutatonce.Itwouldjust betoomuchforyou.”
“Thatsoundsoddlyfamiliar.”
“Do notpresumetolumpmeinwith him.Mytruthswillbe revealedintime.Hiswon't.Thatisthedifferencebetweenmeandhim.”
“Theonlydifference?”Iasked,baitinghim.
“Hardly.”
“Whatever,Gavin,enoughstalling.Iwanttoknowhowyouknew whatwasgoingon,andbetteryet,howyouknewIwasblindbefore.”
Icouldhearhimtakeadeepbreathinpreparation,butnothing came.Noexplanationfollowed.ThenIheardGingerinthebackground, urginghimtotellme. Sosheknowstoo...
“Iwillanswerthelatterquestionfirst.Probablybesttostartthere,”
hestarted,soundingcontrolledonceagain.“Iknewyouwereblind before,Ruby,becauseI'veknownyousinceyouwereachild.Sincethe dayyouwereborn.”
Ifelttheblooddrainfrommyface.Itcouldn'tbetrue.
“Iknewyourparents,Ruby.Verywell.”
Mybloodrancold.
“AsforwhyIfeareditwashappeningagain,let'sjustsaythatIdid mybesttokeeptabsonScarletwhileyouwere indisposed.”Hepaused foramomentbeforecontinuing.“She'saverydeviouscreature.Youneed togetabetterhandleonthatone.”Anotherpause.“Ifyou'reever affordedtheopportunity.”
Iwasinshock,andgiventhelackofcommentaryfrommyalpha,he wastoo.Thatwasawholelotofshittoabsorbinamatterofafew seconds,anditreallyonlybeggedfurtherquestionsratherthanprovide answers.
Gavinknewwhathadhappenedduringthosethreeweeks,andI couldtellhewasn'tgoingtogivethatupeasily.Italsomeantheliedto me.
“Youlyingshit!”Ispat,wishingIcouldstormdownthereand punchhimsquareinhisarrogantoldface.“Youtoldmeyouhadn'tseen meforawhileonthedocksthatday,butyoureallyknewexactlywhereI was,oratleastwhereScarletwas,thewholetime!”
“Ididn'tlie,”hereplied,soundingtrulyaffronted.“ItoldyouI hadn'tseenyouaround hereforawhile,whichIhadn't.That'shardlya lie.”
“Splittinghairsmuch?Youshouldhavetoldmerightthenandyou knowit.”
“Andwhatwouldthathaveaccomplished,Ruby?Youwerealready traumatizedenoughandhadplentyonyourplate.WhatIknowabout Scarletwillkeepfornow.Ipromisethatwhenthetimeisright,Iwilllet youknow.”
Myhandsshookwithanger,butIknewthattherewasnowaytoget himtotellme.Ihadnoleverageinthesituationwhatsoever,andthough itwasmaddening,thatwasmyreality.I'dhavetosuckitupandplaynice withGavinuntilthen.
Cooperseemedfarlessinclinedtofollowthatgameplan.He snatchedthephoneawayfromme.
“Listenhere,youslimyshit!You'regoingtotellmerightnowhow tofixthisfuckingmess,understand?Ifyoudon't,I'mgoingtomakeyour lifeimmenselypainful.We allwill.”
IheardCooper'sbreathingspeedupashelistenedtowhatever Gavinwassaying.Whenmyphonecrashedintothewallbehindme,I couldonlyassumethathewasn'ttoothrilledwiththeoutcomeofhis conversation.
“MotherFucker!”heyelled,pacingawayfrommetowardthe kitchen.“Whothefuckwasthatguy?”
Isighed,notwantingtohavetoexplaintoCooperaboutthemanI hadnoanswersabout.
“Remembertheoldguywholeftthenote...?”
“Yes,”heaskedwithdubiousinflection.
“So,he'snot reallyanoldguy.”
“AmIgoingtoenjoythisstory?”
“No.Probablynot.Idon'tloveitmuchmyself,”Irepliednervously.
“Here'stheshortofit.GavinistheChameleon.”
Thatdidn'tringanysupernaturalbellsforCooper.
“And...?”
“He'skindastalkingme,butIcan'ttellifit'sagoodorbadthing.
Heknowssomuchaboutme,Cooper,evenwhereScarletwentwhileshe heldmecaptive.Thestrangestthingabouthimisthatheseemstobeona missiontoprymeapartfromSean,thoughIhavenocluewhy.Thosetwo haveahistoryofsomesort.He'sconstantlyfeedingmehalf-factsabout Seanandwhohereallyis.Idon'tknowwhattomakeofthewholething.”
“What'shisendgame?”Cooperasked,angerrollingoffofhim freely.
“Idon'tknow.That'swhatI'mtryingtofigureout.”
“Willhetrytoharmyou?”
“That'sthething,Coop.Idon'tthinkhewantsto...notphysically anyway.He'sreallyfuckingwithmyheadthough.”
“Iwantyoutostayawayfromhim.”
“AndIwouldlovetodothat,Cooper,butit'simpossible.Hepops upeverywhereIamwhenthemoodsuitshim.”
“Ithinkthat'sabadidea.He'stheonewiththeanswersthatIneed.
Youcan'toffhim.Notyet,anyway.”
“Iwouldn'tcountonthatifIwereyou.”
“Seriously,Cooper.Ifyouwanttotrytoscarehimabitor intimidatehim,that'sfine.ButIneedthetruthaboutSeanandother things.Ineedhimalive.”
“Whatotherthings?”
Iblewoutaheavybreathbeforeanswering.
“Inmypurse,there'sapicturethathegaveme.It'sofmeandsome womanIdon'trecognize,forobviousreasons.Heknowswhosheis.
Apparently,Seandoestoo.He'stryingtoforcemetoshowittoSeanfor answers,butIdon'ttrusthismotives.Ihaven'tdoneityet.I'mhoping thatifI'mstubbornenough,Gavinwilltellme.”
“Thatsoundslikeapromisingplan,”herepliedsarcastically, gettingupfromthecouchtoretrievethephotoinquestion.“She's beautiful.”
“Iknow.”
“Andyouhavenoideawhoshecouldbe?”
“Shecouldbeanyone,Coop.Ihavenowaytonarrowitdown...”
“Idon'tknow,”hesaidsadly,shakinghishead.“Idon'tlikethis plan.”
“Youneverlikemyplans,”Ichuckled,knowingthatperhapshewas rightnotto.
“Afterlastnight,canyoublameme?”
BeforeIcouldreply,aknockatthedoorstartledusboth.
“Everythingokayinthere?”Alistaircalledfromoutsidethedoor.
“We'refine,Ali.Youcancomein.”
“NO!”Cooperroared,movingtowardthedoor.
“Cooper,we'regoingtohavetotellthemsoonerorlater,”Isaid aloud,givinghimawinkthatIprayedhesaw.Whenhedidn'targueany further,Iassumedheh
ad.
IheardAlistairentertheroomtentatively,comingtositinthe recentlyrepositionedarmchair.
“Weheardshouting,”hesaidcautiously.
“Cooperwasupsetwithme,”Isaid,lookingtothedoorwhere Cooperstillstood.“Ididsomethingstupidasalways.He'sworriedthatI mayhavereallydonesomedamagethistime.”
“What?”Aliaskedworriedly.
“I'vebeentakingtoomuchmedication,anditseemstohave seriouslyaffectedmyvision.Ican'tseeathingrightnow,”Itoldhim carefully.“CooperisworriedthatImayhavedonepermanentdamage.”
“Buthow?Wastheresilverinit?”
IhadplannedtoletslipthatScarletandIdidn'thealthesameway thatheorotherwerewolvesdid.CooperandIhadagreedtokeepasmuch informationregardingmydifferencesawayfromtheboys,butitwasallI couldthinkofinthemoment.Ihadn'teventhoughtofplayingthesilver card,butthankstoAlistair,Ihadtheperfectout.
“No,notthemeds,butthedropsIputinmyeyestohelpthe blurrinessdid.Ihonestlydidn'teventhinkwhentheladyatthehealth foodstoresuggestedcolloidalsilver.”
“Youputbloodysilverinyoureyes?”hegasped,shootingoutofhis chair.“Haveyougonemad?”
“Ali,I'mstillnewatallthisshit!You'vehadguidanceallalong.I didn'tgetthatuntilrecently.Youcan'tplanforeveryhazard.”Icouldfeel hisuncertaintywithmywell-being.Itwarmedmeslightlyonadaythat notmuchcould.“I'msureit'llbefine.Pleasedon'tworry.Ineedtotalk toCoopaboutsomethingpersonalthough.Doyoumind?”
“'Coursenot,love,”hereplied,asadsmileplaguinghisvoice.“I'll lettheothersknow,ifthat'sallright?”Hisquestionwasclearlyaimedat Cooper.
“Youmay.ButIdon'twantthemdownherefussingoverher.She needstorestandheal.Ifshecan.”
“Right.Willdo.”
CoopershutthedoorbehindAlistairasheleft,thenmadehisway overtome.
“Youdoneedtorest,”heordered,helpingmeoffthecouch.“Let's takeyoutobed.”Hestartedleadingmedownthehall,butIstoppedhim partway,somethingeatingatmethatIcouldn'tquiteworkout.