Unspoken Love During The Vietnam War

Unspoken Love during the Vietnam War

  By Zero

  Copyright by Zero

  The day began as so many have done

  And I now tell this tale of woe to you.

  A tale that darks my heart like some dead sun

  That spins through the universe’s void hue.

  This my tale, if you excuse the pun,

  Is one that will follow me my life through,

  This incident did change my attitude

  About a society that I thought crude.

  The pain I have, when I tell you this tale,

  Is one that no man could have want of.

  But I am glad and hope I do not fail

  In telling you about a man’s deep love

  While upon an ocean that he did sail,

  Off to a war that man was forced to be drove

  In a battle that will never prove just

  In a Navy that can never be trust.

  Across a passive sea we all were sent,

  Upon a gray monster, that we embarked,

  To sail to Vietnam with dread intent,

  To kill and harm in seas that were dark

  With fear, to fight for something never meant,

  Which would upon the U.S. leave a mark

  Which scars her name, with what she did,

  And many men shall never - her forgive.

  Those old rusty bulkheads painted so gray

  Will forever be imprinted in my mind,

  And I shall always remember one day

  That lifted a veil from my eyes so blind

  By societies sightless, misjudged way,

  Of how man can really love his own kind.

  There we lived off the coast a short distance

  For we lived a nautical existence.

  I woke that day while Venus was still bright

  To take a quarter-deck watch in dark hue.

  I stood to watch the suns early born light

  To break across the oceans crescent blue,

  The cool brisk breeze did blow its gentle might

  To spray my face with the oceans salt dew.

  This day was much the same as all before

  And waves did splash the hull with constant roar.

  The bells did sound their call to reveille

  And all the ship did wake ‘cept those that sleep

  From midnight watch in a hammock like tree

  That swayed because the ship did slowly creep

  And then my breakfast relief came to me,

  For from the galley I could smell that reek

  Of shit-on-the-shingle or beef on toast,

  I ate and then did return to my post.

  There I was alone while I stood my duty,

  Alone I say among five thousand men,

  While memories of home kept coming to me

  Of people I loved, for I needed them

  To comfort me on this ungodly sea,

  Like a child clinging to its mothers hem,

  For each day the ache in my heart increased,

  Like the hunger of some poor fasting priest.

  Buzz! Buzz! The General Quarters did sound,

  The mighty rush of men I did then feel,

  For each one had his station to be found,

  Then a roar in my ears came to me shrill,

  The deck did shake like an earth quaking ground,

  A tight explosive crack weakened my will

  And brief visions of death then brought me fears

  With some memories, from my child hood years.

  For it is true when one just misses death

  Their life will flash before their very eyes,

  For fear made me think I drew my last breath

  And I was confused and slow to realize

  We had just been given, Vietnams wrath,

  For out of the blue air, had come the shell

  That tried to send me to an early hell.

  I then made my way to my GQ bill

  As one of the hose men to fight a fire,

  I turned the corner, the heat I could feel,

  And this shot my adrenaline higher,

  I totally lost my judgment and will

  When I discovered just what had been hit,

  There in the gun turret a fire was lit.

  The range of a fire to near ammunition

  Might explode once more if the heat got high,

  And I stepped back with sane intuition

  Until I saw somebody rushing by

  Alarms in my ears my mind in confusion,

  And then a quick thought that made my heart fly

  For twenty eight men where one deck below

  And if they lived - I did not know.

  I waited to see just what might be done,

  As my eyes came to rest upon a man

  That had sped bye like some wolf on the run,

  Chasing predators from present claimed land,

  Smoke belched from the door like rays from the sun

  The man came still with a fire axe in hand

  For there he stood momentarily placid

  Beneath the number four gun so massive.

  His face was rough, his brow tight and hard,

  Sweat pasted his short brown hair to his head,

  A kinky beard hid his cheek that was scared

  With memories of some early life led,

  Two piercing brown eyes stood stately their guard

  Deep in dark sockets like some underfed,

  His nose was straight and his nostrils were flared

  And it felt strange to see how much he cared.

  The chambray shirt all drenched in his sweat

  Had upon the sleeve a second class crow,

  Probably a boatswain mate I would bet,

  But this was something I did not know

  As his six foot body trembled with fret

  I could feel from him a feeling grow

  A kind of unexplained emotion here

  Beaming out from his darken fear.

  The ships First Lieutenant I next did spy

  Beneath a forecastle starboard side

  With a set of headphones hooked round his head,

  “Hey! You with the axe, get away,” he said.

  The man with the axe looked as if he died

  And then he yelled “those men might be dead,

  There are men down there - we can't stand here,”

  His body shook with rage and fear.

  “The Old Man ordered the hole to be flood

  To put out that goddamn fire right away,

  Now don't think about them - it ain’t your blood.”

  Was what I heard the First Lieutenant say,

  As I stood mute like some blank faced dud,

  That scene is vivid even to this day,

  The Lieutenant said “away from that door

  We can't afford to lose anymore.”

  I can still see that khaki turd's surprise

  When the man with the axe said, “fuck the old man!”

  With passionate hate embed in his eyes,

  Then the Boats cried, “if he can't help I can;

  Don't he care if anybody dies,

  Who’s the hell’s he - god of this land!”

  His voice shook his body with rage

  He was only twenty-six years of age.

  There I watched the destruction of a man

  For beneath that hardened, cold rigid brow

  Lay a mind with the heart that ran,

  And do you wonder me to tell just how

  So hard a man can be a soft woman?

  I learned there in the darkness of the ships bow

  You must realize love is not masculine


  And the Boatswain’s strife is feminine.

  That Boatswain Mates’ reaction formation

  Would be opposite of what he was told,

  His venial brow showed his hearts pulsation

  With vascular bulges making him old.

  I could see he planned those men’s salvation

  For much like the fire did his rage burn bold,

  He broke the heats seal to the devils’ hatch

  With a speed Mercury could not have match.

  The gray black smoke burped out its stinking smell

  While a crew stood and watched this mortal scene

  For five men came to help this man rebel,

  And I - feeling like I'd just done codeine,

  Moved forward toward that living hell,

  A sight you would wish you had never seen,

  For I was one of those rebellious five

  To follow Boats to see who was still alive.

  We donned oxygen breathing apparatus

  While a mass of men stood staring,

  And none more came forth to offer to us

  The aid we did need or offer to bring

  Any firefighting gear, for it was thus

  The work - we as aspirants, had understanding,

  For Boats had a clear personality force,

  Purified and transmitted to us love’s source.

  Boats led the way into that pitted fire

  And we five followed wearing those death mask,

  Now, remembering is the horrifier,

  For telling you is not an easy task

  And the telling turns me into a crier,

  For I still sometimes in those flames bask.

  I shall go on, though it tears me apart,

  And creates a pain in my throat and my heart.

  We could see the dark in the passage,

  Lights within had been ordered turned out,

  We could hear the sound of a fiery rage,

  And deep within my mind was fear and doubt.

  I felt like a beggar facing a sage,

  We switched on our hat lights to look about

  There on the deck lay the hatch to below

  A hole where we were destined to go.

  It was