DilDozer



  DilDozer

  By

  Zachariah Dracoulis

  For Gaige,

  Don’t let your dreams be dreams.

  — Shia LaBeouf —

  Day One

  It was a brisk Manhattan afternoon when Emily Schmidt first laid eyes on 351 Bertherwick Avenue. She took in every aspect of the beautiful thing; the tiny, almost invisible, flaws in the otherwise immaculate brickwork, the mix of palatial and postmodern design that was, simply put, awe-inspiring, and the two twelve foot tall knights that stood on either side of the doors that worked to make her feel both insignificant and protected.

  “Isn’t it marvellous?” she said excitedly to her friend.

  Elizabeth shrugged as she drank her non-fat, quad-shot vanilla latte, her silly little handbag clacking against her purple and much too decorated belt.

  In the opinion of most everyone the young woman had met she wore entirely too much purple and faux-diamonds, which peppered everything from her fluffy coat to her uncomfortably high high-heels.

  “It’s alright, I suppose.” she said, not at all bothering to hide how hurt she was, “But I don’t get it, why would you want to move out? I know I’m not the best roommate bu-”

  “Oh shut up,” Emily snapped, “you know full well that it has nothing to do with you, Lizzy, it’s… him.” she almost spat.

  Ever since the ‘incident’, as Emily liked to call it, she couldn’t even bring herself to so much as think his name, let alone refer to the ‘incident’ as what it was; a break-up. A brutal, soul destroying break-up, which started with the evil him cheating on her with her sister.

  “Then let’s make him move out!” Lizzy begged, “It’s not like he’s more important than you.”

  “His name is the one on the lease,” Emily said dismissively, “which should’ve been a big red flag, I know, but this is just easier. Plus the rent is considerably cheaper, and it means that I get to finally be out on my own; no parents, no roommates, nobody.” Emily sighed happily at the thought.

  She felt like she was doing all of this about five years too late, but at the same time like it was far too soon to be trying anything like this. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time and she almost literally couldn’t wait, as shown with her feet that involuntarily began stepping toward the door.

  “Are you coming or not?” she said without turning around.

  Elizabeth sighed before clacking after her friend, who’d already entered the lobby.

  “Oh.” Emily said when she came face-to-face with a not-quite-obese man in a security guard’s blazer with a Canadian flag t-shirt underneath, both of which stunk of a very particular herb that Emily recognized from her college days.

  The man’s beard, and similarly tightly curled hair, had clearly been trimmed recently, by himself, judging from the quality, and he wore a pair of slightly askew rectangular glasses. But he seemed nice.

  “Hi!” he said happily, “Name’s Aaron, I think we spoke on the phone?”

  Emily’s hand shot out and Aaron promptly returned the gesture, “Ah, hello Mr Blaustein-“

  “Aaron’s fine,” he said without losing his goofy grin, “Mr Blaustein is my mother.” he laughed.

  “Jesus Emily!” Lizzy shrieked, “I nearly broke my neck on the steps out there!”

  “Woah!” Aaron said in mock, but well-meaning, surprise.

  “Woah’s right,” Lizzy snapped, “I could’ve died!”

  “Sorry,” Aaron responded, ignoring the anger in Lizzy’s voice, “I’ll get right on it.” he said before turning his attention back to Emily, “Your movers came by before and I let them into your room. I hope that’s alright.”

  Emily nodded, “That’s fine, are they still up there?”

  “Nah, they left an hour ago, I was shocked to see that most of your room was already set up. Barely any boxes or anything.” he said before leading the ladies toward the elevator behind the concierge desk.

  “Yeah, well, it was a quick move.” Emily said in her best attempt to hide her resentment.

  They took the elevator to the fifth floor of the twelve storey building and made their way to room 503, “This is you.” Aaron said as he handed Emily her key, “You’re the only one on this floor and, other than me, the building. But that’s the only key, so you can feel safe and sound.”

  Emily smiled, turned the key in the lock, turned the handle and let the door silently swing open. “It’s brilliant.” she said without stepping in, which seemed odd to the others, but to her it truly was. It could’ve been a cardboard box and, as long as it didn’t have him in it, Emily would’ve been happy.

  But the apartment was not a cardboard box. It was, in fact, one of the nicest apartments either of the women had seen, hardwood floors with soft cream walls. The benchtops in the kitchen were all made of marble, the sinks were made of magnificent hand-crafted Italian faucets and, with all her things in it, it certainly felt like home to Emily.

  From the moment she stepped through the door she knew that this was where she would be able to reshape herself into a more independent and happier version. ‘Emily Mark II.’ she joked in her mind.

  “As I said on the phone,” Aaron said while Elizabeth wandered around the kitchen and living room aimlessly, interrupting Emily’s daydreaming, “utilities are included in the rent, but it’s an extra thirty for Wi-Fi and we can get cable set up later if you cover the installation.”

  Emily started walking toward her room on the left of the apartment where the bathroom was attached, based on the dozens of photos she’d had Aaron send, “Well, I’d like to get started on this whole free utilities thing, if you don’t mind.”

  He looked at her confusedly for a second and then it hit him, “Oh! Oh yeah, cool, I’ll get out of your hair. See ya later.” and he was gone.

  “It’s not that good,” Lizzy said lyingly, “no Lizzy to spark up the place.”

  “Lizzy, honey? I love you to bits, but it’s time for me to get out on my own. And I’m just uptown, barely an hours walk.”

  Elizabeth sighed, it hurt to see her friend leaving, but she’d got to experience the ‘out on my own’ thrill just after college. Granted most of it was backpacking through Sweden, but still.

  “Fiiiine. But promise you’ll visit?”

  Emily nodded, “Of course. Actuall-”

  “Yes yes, I’ll visit you. I guess you want some space?”

  “Thank you and…” she looked around at the apartment and started to imagine her life of solitude, “yeah. If you don’t mind?” she asked sorrily.

  “Alright Em’s. I’ll see you later.”

  After a quick hug goodbye, and another, and another, Emily finally began to settle in. The possibilities rushed through her mind. She could wander around naked, she could cook naked, she could do laundry naked! A lot of what Emily wanted to do involved getting naked. But first, a shower.