Might Be O.K.

Might Be O.K.

  By Jason Wallace Poetry

  ******

  Published by:

  Might Be O.K.

  Copyright © 2015 by Jason Wallace Poetry

  I’m on my knees,

  And I’m not getting up.

  (I wish you would’ve stayed.)

  The pain that’s killing me

  Isn’t letting up.

  (If I could, I would’ve delayed

  Every moment you wanted to go away.)

  If you could only see my soul,

  (I’m breaking down and buried

  Under the rubble of all we had.)

  Maybe, you would release me from this hole.

  (I can’t take it, and I’m afraid

  Of ever getting past.)

  I don’t get to go away.

  I am here, and I can’t stay.

  My bones are cold. My heart is overgrown

  With the decay of all the love we made.

  Every day is a brand new day

  Of so much almost hate.

  I’m losing my grip on every sense.

  I can’t even say

  (What it was that made you go away.)

  How I would ever bring you back from where you went,

  Give you back all the time you spent,

  Trying to convince a man of his worsening ways.

  I owe you far more than I could repay.

  The only thing holding me down,

  Giving me gravity to stay on the ground

  Is hoping you might be o.k.

  When you find some place

  That offers peace,

  Somewhere that I can never be,

  Maybe, you might just find a way

  To forgive so much that I did wrong

  And can’t take back.

  All along, I was bad.

  If a sorry could ever say

  Half of what I regret and wish wasn’t this way,

  I’d never stop from those words.

  I’d do my best to undo your hurt.

  And when it made a difference, I’d leave you alone

  To forget that I ever met you and

  Made it all worse and stole your dreams and hopes.

  (I’d give my life to make you safe.)

  (I’d give my soul to take away

  All of the pain I made you face.)

  Every day is a brand new day

  Of so much almost hate.

  I’m losing my grip on every sense.

  I can’t even say

  (What it was that made you go away.)

  How I would ever bring you back from where you went,

  Give you back all the time you spent,

  Trying to convince a man of his worsening ways.

  I owe you far more than I could repay.

  The only thing holding me down,

  Giving me gravity to stay on the ground

  Is hoping you might be o.k.

  If you’re not, and you feel like I do,

  Know I was

  Never the one for you.

  I’m, at best, about as good as it sometimes gets,

  Frozen in ice, someone who lets

  Beauty slip away.

  I’m a beast. I’m afraid.

  I’m the least you could do, so much less

  Than is good for you.

  (Just know I never meant for it to be this way.)

  I never meant to leave you in the cold.

  I thought that you’d always be there,

  And I never did care enough to hear the words you told,

  That I had to consider that there was no forever,

  If I didn’t change my mode and change my tone.

  (You’re in the dark, set against, all alone.)

  (I’m trying to give you light to make it home.)

  Every day is a brand new day

  Of so much almost hate.

  I’m losing my grip on every sense.

  I can’t even say

  (What it was that made you go away.)

  How I would ever bring you back from where you went,

  Give you back all the time you spent,

  Trying to convince a man of his worsening ways.

  I owe you far more than I could repay.

  The only thing holding me down,

  Giving me gravity to stay on the ground

  Is hoping you might be o.k.

  I’m hoping you’re o.k. and not around.

  I hope you’ve gone; you can’t hear my sound,

  And you’re never gonna come here for me now

  Or ever again; when there’s a chance to win,

  You need to hold on tight and not let go

  And not think of how it all went so down and so old,

  Trampled of all you don’t get now and not back then.

  I am, again, so sorry I wasn’t your best friend,

  Like I swore that I was but was never enough to begin

  To be anything you needed or deserved, and the worst

  Thing is that you’re paying for my sins.

  Every day is a brand new day

  Of so much almost hate.

  I’m losing my grip on every sense.

  I can’t even say

  (What it was that made you go away.)

  How I would ever bring you back from where you went,

  Give you back all the time you spent,

  Trying to convince a man of his worsening ways.

  I owe you far more than I could repay.

  The only thing holding me down,

  Giving me gravity to stay on the ground

  Is hoping you might be o.k.

  I hope you might be o.k.

  I hope you’re alright.

  Don’t come back this way.

  (I hope that you might be o.k.)

  Without me, without this place.

  (I hope that you might be o.k.)

  Without You Here

  Please tell me I'm wrong again

  And that you don't

  Belong to him

  I know I gave you away

  But I wish

  You'd want me when

  I cry out your name

  Every night in pain

  It's just not the same

  Since you ran away

  Ok, so I'm unforgiving,

  Unforgiven,

  Unattentive...

  So, what's your point

  Point me

  In a direction to go

  I have nowhere

  Cuz I can never know

  What to do

  Or what to say

  Or how to feel

  Or how to play

  And I can't stand

  To live like this

  I can't go on

  Without your kiss

  I can't be

  What you see

  Which is me

  I can't believe

  That...

  You had to leave

  So why can't you

  Come back to me

  And forget what I did

  And hear my plea

  I'm giving in

  To my deepest fears

  This life is hell

  Without you here

   

  Every day

  And every way

  That I keep on

  The way that I do

  I can barely breathe

  Cuz all I do

  Is think of you

  So what do you think

  About all of that

  Does it mean very much

  Does it sound very sad

  Could you ever

  Love me again

  Could you begin to feel

  What you did back then

  Is any of this real

  Will these wounds ever heal

 
Do I still have a shot

  To be all that you need

  Do I have the will

  To not kill the pain

  By killing me

  My heart is broken and torn open

  And ripped apart

  Cuz that is...

  What a...

  Heart feels like when you're all alone

  When you're so lonely

  That you don't want to live

  That you don't want to go on

  You can't keep a smile

  For a long while

  You can't pretend

  That you don't want

  Your life to end

  You can't forget

  The memories, the regrets

  You wish you could get

  To a place where...

  The hurt is gone

  Where you

  Don't feel wrong

  Where you have comfort

  Instead of tears

  And this life is hell

  Without you here

   

  Time has passed

  I have passed out

  My mind is gone

  I'm gone

  I'm scared

  I wish I could die

  I just don't care

  I've been down

  I've been drunk

  I've been messed up

  I've been a punk

  To take you for granted

  To let you leave me

  To not take advantage

  Of your heart

  Beating for me

  And I can't believe

  That I did what I did

  That I said what I said

  I hate myself

  I can't stop...

  These voices...

  In my head

  That tell me

  I'm a fool

  I'm so stupid

  I might be a tool

  I might be useless

  I am so sorry

  That I can't tell you

  It's killin me slowly

  To remember I held you

  And at the same time

  Told you to go

  What was I thinkin

  What did I know

  But I'm down...

  To my last cigarette

  And my last beer

  This life is hell

  Without you here!

  I Thought It Was

  I thought that we

  Would always be

  Livin this life

  Together,

  Hand in hand

  It took me by surprise

  That that wasn't her plan

  She didn't really need

  A guy like me

  She didn't wanna see

  What we could've become

  It's all over now

  It all went down

  The drain I didn't know was there

  Though I knew

  It was her nature to run

   

  But she flew away

  And she's gone

  Another day

  Another day,

  She might come back home

  Wherever she went

  She had to go

  Her time, it never was spent

  Well enough to know

  What we ever could've been

  How I really felt

  What she always meant to me

  That I didn't wanna

  Start my life over again

  That I didn't wanna be

  In this place alone

  All on my own

  My heart was part of hers

  At least I thought it was

   

  Time slips on by

  Flowin like a stream

  I can't figure out why

  She had to kill my dream

  I'm down the creek

  Without a paddle to row

  Gettin knocked around

  Not knowin where I'll go

  Not feelin a thing

  And I can never grow old

  With anyone else

  Since I loved her

  And wanted her all to myself

  But that wasn't her idea

  Of how to live this life

  She was given the chance

  To leave me

  Without sayin goodbye

  She slipped away

  Out my door

  It's been so many days

  I can't tell

  What I'm holdin on for

   

  But she flew away

  And she's gone

  Another day

  Another day,

  She might come back home

  Wherever she went

  She had to go

  Her time, it never was spent

  Well enough to know

  What we ever could've been

  How I really felt

  What she always meant to me

  That I didn't wanna

  Start my life over again

  That I didn't wanna be

  In this place alone

  All on my own

  My heart was part of hers

  At least I thought it was

   

  I thought it was

  I thought it was

  I guess I did because

  She told me so many times

  That I was hers

  And she was mine

  That she'd always be

  Around for me

  She'd never leave

  She'd never go

  She'd stick by me

  Through thick and thin

  Through all of the worst

  When really she knew

  She would never stay

  Since the first

  Day we met

  Now all the moments we shared

  Are too much to forget

   

  But she flew away

  And she's gone

  Another day

  Another day,

  She might come back home

  Wherever she went

  She had to go

  Her time, it never was spent

  Well enough to know

  What we ever could've been

  How I really felt

  What she always meant to me

  That I didn't wanna

  Start my life over again

  That I didn't wanna be

  In this place alone

  All on my own

  My heart was part of hers

  At least I thought it was

   

  How can I go on

  How can I sleep

  How can I eat

  I'm a wreck

  I can barely speak

  I'm so weak

  I'm so scared

  I'm so hurt

  I'm unaware

  Of what I'll do

  Or how I'll live

  Or if someone else comes along

  How I'll ever give

  Myself to them

  Any heart that I might have left

  Is scarred and torn

  And weighed down with regret

   

  But she flew away

  And she's gone

  Another day

  Another day,

  She might come back home

  Wherever she went

  She had to go

  Her time, it never was spent

  Well enough to know

  What we ever could've been

  How I really felt

  What she always meant to me

  That I didn't wanna

  Start my life over again

  That I didn't wanna be

  In this place alone

  All on my own

  My heart was part of hers

  At least I thought it was

   

  Who knows where she went

  Or if she'll ever come back

  I wanna believe

  But I know I'm lyin

  If I actually think that

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