Love Obsessed, Page 5

  “Ease up, Cole. No shit tonight,” Ryan states, looking deadly serious about his warning. I shrug and down another, then take a swig of my beer.

  “He’s right,” Brandon starts, “no one’s good enough for Erin. Not me, not you, and definitely not Jake.” He says his name like a bad taste on his tongue. I can taste it, too.

  “So what was your master plan, Brandon, dear saviour of Erin.” I wait for his answer, but he just continues to stare death at me.

  “Cole,” Ryan warns.

  “No, Ryan. I want to know what his plan was. Were you just going to keep her locked up in the apartment for the rest of your lives? Were you going to let her have a family, because she wants one, or would you have given her a family? Because I would have if you hadn’t have interfered. I was so close to having her, and then you fucked it all up for me and ripped her away.”

  Brandon moves toward me, but Ryan steps in front of him, stopping his advance. “Sit back down, Brandon.”

  “Do you love her, too?” he asks Ryan.

  “Sit back...” he starts again, but Brandon interrupts him.

  “Do you love her too!?” he asks again, louder than necessary.

  “Yes,” he replies, more quietly than Brandon had asked the question.

  “What?” I ask, stunned. He never showed anything but brotherly affection toward her.

  “It was a long time ago. Erin is special. There is no debating that, but it’s clear that Brandon won’t accept any of us with her, and secondly, Erin doesn’t want anything from any of us, except for us to be her brothers, and that is what we are going to do. We are her family, and we will remain that way.”

  “You’re wrong, Ryan. Erin wanted more from me. She told me herself. She loves me, and Brandon fucked it up.”

  “She loves everyone,” Brandon grates out.

  “She loved me more.”

  ***

  I thought that a run would do me some good this morning. Boy was I wrong. I’m running through the park when I see her. She’s in her running gear; short shorts, crop top, beanie on her head. I stop and watch her, and then I see him and I see red. He pulls on her pig tails, she smiles up at him, and then he kisses her. His hands are on her body, on her skin. She looks so happy. That’s all I wanted for her, to be happy, but with me. I turn back and run home.

  “What happened to your hands?” Dad asks as I sit down at the conference table, getting ready for the next meeting of the day. I look down at them, give them a squeeze, and wince at the pain.

  “Nothing,” I mumble. If I tell him that I punched holes in my wall until I couldn’t take the pain anymore, he’ll ask why, and I really don’t want to relive my morning encounter.

  “Put some ice on them, they look sore,” he continues.

  “Sure,” I mumble again, like ice can take my pain away.

  Erin

  I’m walking to the library, when my arm is grabbed and I’m pulled into a room on the side of the building that I was walking away from. Then lips are on me.

  “God, I miss your lips. I can’t stop thinking about them. It’s so hard being here with you, and not touching you like this,” Jake says into my skin.

  “You know that we can get fired for this.”

  “Only if we get caught.”

  “Jake,” I moan. “Jake, stop before I can’t.”

  He continues to kiss me. “Erin,” he groans, “stay with me tonight.”

  “Absolutely.”

  That’s what it is like, stealing glances and touches while we’re at work, an accidental arm graze here, a knowing smile there, and every now and then a stolen kiss in an empty office or room. We don’t spend every night together, but we do stay together a few nights a week, always at his place. I explained to Jake that Brandon is protective, and I’m not ready for them to meet yet. He was understanding, and said that he likes having me to himself anyway.

  I still think of Cole regularly. It hurts, knowing that I most likely am never going to see or talk to him again. I hope that he is alright. Brandon never talks about him to me, nor Mum or Dad. I haven’t really spoken to them since I told Cole to stop that night on the phone. My heart aches at the thought of losing a family, but I can’t hide the fact that I’m the one who has ripped the family apart.

  Brandon and Cole won’t be in the same room together. Brandon keeps me away from anything that Cole is involved in, like Sunday lunch at Mum and Dad’s. We talk on the phone, but I haven’t been there for a few weeks. I hope that the boys can sort their problems out if I’m taken out of the equation.

  ***

  “He’s a teacher at your school,” Brandon whispers as I enter my bedroom. He’s standing in the middle of my room, looking very angry. I stop and stare. I knew he wouldn’t be happy with me when he found out.

  “A colleague,” he’s deceptively calm. “Do you know how stupid that is, Erin? If you get caught, it’ll be you who loses your job. Not him. You. This I why I didn’t let you date, why I didn’t want you to. You ran to the first guy who smiled at you. This, Erin, is why you should listen to me, very closely.” He’s looking directly into my eyes, “Break up with him. You’ve only been going out a few weeks, so it shouldn’t be that hard a task. Then things can go back to the way they were, and you will have a secure job and a career to work on.”

  I hold my tears back. He’s making me choose again. “You said that you’d let me make my own decision about this.”

  “That was before I found out that he was your colleague!” Brandon’s anger is coming to the surface now.

  “You said....”

  “I take it back.” I look at him as to say ‘are you serious?’ “Break up with him, Erin. I mean it.”

  “No,” I whisper. “I won’t.”

  He stands up straighter, “Fine, but when this ends, and it will, you’ll lose more than just a boyfriend. You’ll lose your job, and something like this doesn’t just go away. It follows you and your career around for years. I’ll be here to pick you up, but I won’t be able fix your career. You’re making a huge mistake with him. You’re risking too much,” and he leaves the room, leaving me alone and feeling uncertain on what his motives are. Brandon has said it himself; he doesn’t want me to date, yet he doesn’t see me in any way more than a sister.

  ***

  “So, just to be clear, you and Brandon are purely platonic right?” I stare up at Beth, her cheesy smile looking down at me. Jake is sitting at his desk, head turned toward our conversation, but not looking in our direction. Where is she going with this?

  “Yeah, he’s my brother,” I inform her, watching her carefully.

  “Good,” she jumps up from the side of my desk. “That’s good. Otherwise, it would have been awkward today.”

  I frown at her, “What are you talking about, Beth?”

  “Brandon and I ran into each other the other night. We got talking, and well, one thing led to another,” my stomach drops. “There’s something there, a connection, so we’re going to see where it leads us, together.” Her eyes flick across to Jake, and then back to me. She knows; she is the one who told Brandon who Jake is.

  “Good for you, Beth,” I fake happiness. “It’s about time Brandon went and found a girl he could settle down with. I’ve always told him he sleeps around too much.”

  She smiles a coy smile, “Just not with you.”

  “Incest is against the law, and the fact that you would suggest such a thing is sick and perverted.” I get up from my desk and leave her shocked expression behind.

  Cole

  I see her marching into the office, and she’s pissed. That’s the only way to describe how she looks at the moment. She’s on a mission and marches straight into Brandon’s office. I get up and walk over to the door, listening. “You promised me, Brandon. You promised!” She is mad.

  “That was before I found out that you’re seeing someone you work with.” He sounds angry, too.

  “It’s my decision to make!” she yells.

  “I
t’s the wrong one!”

  “Every decision I make is wrong, according to you. If it was up to you, you would keep me locked away from the world!”

  “Yes, I would. You know why! Because I love you, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “You’re hurting me, Brandon. No one else, but you.” I hear the tears in her voice.

  The office goes silent. Erin comes out, eyes red, and storms out of the office. I don’t even know if she saw me standing here. Chancing a look into Brandon’s office, I see him sitting in his chair, slummed forward, head down, and hands clasped together on the desk. He reaches up and rubs his face.

  “Close the door, Cole.” He doesn’t even look my way. I close the door and go after Erin. I don’t see her, and I’m scared that I’ve missed her, when I spot her by her car.

  “Erin,” I quietly say behind her. She wipes her tears away, looks up at me and rolls her eyes.

  “Come to kick me while I’m down?”

  Shaking my head, “No. I’ve come to make sure that you’re alright.”

  “Do I look alright to you?” she snaps. I’m at a loss on what to do. I want to hug her, to hold her, but what if she doesn’t want me to. I can’t tell what she wants anymore.

  “Sweetheart.” I take a step toward her.

  “Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me, Cole. You think that you can swoop in and pick me up when I’m having a weak moment? You haven’t spoken to me in weeks, and now I have a fight with Brandon, and you think that what? That I’ll act like you haven’t acted as if I don’t exist?”

  “You’re the one who told me to stop!”

  “Because Brandon was listening to the conversation!”

  “You didn’t say that he was there!”

  “How could I? He was listening!”

  “I told you to tell me if he was there, and you hung up!”

  “You don’t get it. God.” She places her hand on her forehead and spins around, her back to me.

  “I thought that you and Brandon....”

  “Me and Brandon?” she laughs, turning back. “Seriously, Cole? I thought we...” she closes her eyes, a tear escaping.

  “You thought what?” I ask quietly.

  “It doesn’t matter now,” she whispers.

  “What’s going on over here?” Brandon’s voice sounds from behind me. He’s angry and coming toward us.

  “Great,” Erin mumbles, gesturing toward Brandon’s direction.

  “Erin, go home. We’ll talk there,” Brandon tells her.

  “You can’t keep telling her what to do,” I tell Brandon.

  “This has nothing to do with you, Cole.”

  “It has everything to do with me. If it wasn’t for you, Erin and I would be together right now.”

  “Oh my god! I’m right here!” Erin yells. “I am not some consolation prize, awarded to the last man standing. No one wants me until the other can’t have me. I’m sick of this. I’m so sick of this,” She whispers the last part.

  “Erin,” Brandon whispers.

  “No, Brandon. No. Go off and be with Beth. I don’t care, anymore, and you, Cole, just go and keep on doing what you do. I’m done.” I watch helplessly as Erin gets into her car and leaves the car park, and me, behind as fast as she can.

  ***

  I enter Ryan’s house, slamming the door behind me so that he’ll know that I’m here. Going past the bedroom and the lounge room, I hit the kitchen, the room I’m looking for, and help myself to a beer. I take a seat on the bench, facing the threshold of the kitchen and the hallway as I wait for Ryan to come and see who is in his house. He doesn’t disappoint.

  “What brings your ugly mug here?” He spots me on the bench with the beer in my hand. Entering the kitchen, he heads over to the fridge and grabs a beer for himself before siting down at the table. I’m staring at the drink in my hands, so I can’t see him, but I can feel his eyes on me. I came over here wanting to talk to him about something, but don’t know how or where to start.

  “Erin?” he guesses quietly. I look up at him, sympathy in his eyes. “I heard what happened at the office. Men gossip, too.”

  “She said that she was done,” I say quietly, diverting my eyes back down. “I drove by the apartment, and her car wasn’t there.”

  “From what I hear, she’s pretty angry. Give her some time to calm down.”

  Looking back up, “She thinks that I’ve been acting as if she doesn’t exist anymore. She told me to stop all contact, and I get in trouble for doing just that, and then I find out that she only said that because Brandon was listening to our conversation. Who the hell does he think he is, having that much control over her? It’s not right, Ryan, and now she’s pissed at all of us and is God knows where with someone else.” My voice is getting louder as I speak, “And,” I continue, “I thought, this whole time, that Brandon and Erin were a couple, thought that he was the lucky bastard who got her. Everyone said so. From the day he brought her home, everyone has been saying that Brandon and Erin will end up together, and that they were just fighting their attraction for each other. No one else had a chance. They were all wrong, because he just wants to keep her locked away from anyone who could make her happy. Now we’ve all lost her. I just don’t understand why she would let Brandon have that much control over her. She’s stronger than that,” I finish, my voice quieting down.

  Ryan sits there listening to me. He stays silent for a long time, his eyes still on me. I take a large mouthful of my beer, and then decide to finish it off. When the bottle is empty, I place it on the counter next to me, my pain still very present.

  “You got something stronger then beer?” Ryan gets up from his chair and goes over to a cupboard above the stove. He pulls something out, comes back over to me, and he hands me the half empty bottle of whisky. I take the lid off and gulp down a mouthful. It stings, but for a moment, the pain in my heart goes away.

  “Brandon gave Erin a family,” I slowly lower the bottle from my lips. Ryan continues, “I was in the bar the night that Brandon found Erin,” he smiles at the memory, “You had already left with some girl. Brandon had been watching her for a while. I picked on him for being a chicken shit and not going up to her. He was ignoring every other chick, and I was getting sick of him just staring at her, so I went up to her.” My pulse is racing, wondering where he’s going with this. “I had barely ordered our drinks when he arrived. He told her that she shouldn’t take drinks from strangers. He was acting like he cared, and then he eyed me. I could tell he was up to something, but I just thought that he wanted her for himself. He told her that I had just been with another girl in the bathroom, not a few hours earlier. I was furious at him, but he got the girl. You know how it is with us. They’re just girls; replaceable.”

  “So you two didn’t....”

  He shakes his head. “Brandon kept her close for the rest of the night, and scared off any other guy who approached her. I left soon after. Then he started talking about an Erin. Mum and Dad were so happy that one of their sons had found a girl, and then he brought her home one Sunday.”

  “I remember. She looked so young, with those large brown eyes taking everything in. She never left his side.” Brandon had told mum that he was bringing a friend over. She was so excited. When Erin walked through the front door, everyone stopped what they were doing. She looked so out of her element. Mum and Dad had been very welcoming; we all were. She was quiet, but the way Brandon was with her, we had never seen him that way with anyone. We all thought that they were a couple.

  We went out one night, and Brandon was dancing with someone else while Erin was at the bar. I went over to her, asked if everything was alright with her and Brandon, and she assured me that everything was fine. When I asked her why he was dancing with someone else, she laughed and told me that they weren’t a couple, just friends, and that Brandon can stick it anywhere he wants, as long as it’s not near her. I fell in love with her at that moment.

  “Brandon gave Erin a family. Before she met him, s
he didn’t have anyone to care for her, or anyone to care about. She probably thinks that she owes him everything, and that she would lose the only family that she has ever had if she leaves him.”

  “She wouldn’t lose us, though.”

  “Brandon holds Erin up on a pedestal. He loves her like you do, but he doesn’t think that anyone is worthy of her, including himself. He’s keeping her from you, because he can’t stand the thought of her being with anyone else. That’s why he scares off any guy who shows interest in her, or her them. That’s why he’s been as miserable as you are about her being with someone that’s not either of you.”

  What he’s saying makes sense, but it still sucks. I swallow, about to ask what I originally came over her to ask him. “The other week, you said that you loved Erin, too.”

  “Yeah.” He places his beer down after taking a mouthful.

  “What happened?”

  “I told her.”

  “And,” I prompt.

  He laughs, “She said that she doesn’t date guys who have sex with one girl in the bathroom of a bar, and then go out and hit on another.” He smiles when he speaks of that moment, “I didn’t think she remembered,” he laughs again, taking another mouthful of his beer. “Fucking Brandon,” he laughs.

  I smile, “That’s my girl.”

  Erin

  “Here you go, girl.” Jules passes over a drink. “To the scum they call men,” she toasts.

  “To scum.” I lift my green drink and shoot it down. It burns my throat and tastes like shit, but it helps. After my fight in the car park, there was no way in hell that I was going back to Brandon’s. I didn’t want to go to Jakes either, so I called Jules. We went to college together.

  “So what are you going to do now?” Jules asks while filling my glass up.