Halloween Stories: Spooky Short Stories for Children, Page 2

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  Halloween Jokes

  Q: Why are haunted houses so noisy in April?

  A: That is when ghosts do their spring screaming!

  Q: Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

  A: Because he’s a pain in the neck!

  Q: What did the zombie say after he ate a comedian?

  A: This tastes funny!

  Q: What happened to the naughty little witch at school?

  A: She was ex-spelled!

  Q: Did you hear about the girl that wanted to marry a ghost?

  A: No one knows what possessed her!

  Q: When do vampires bite you?

  A: Wincedays!

  Q: Where do zombies shop for clothes?

  A: The monstore!

  Q: How can you make a witch itch?

  A: Take away her W!

  Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best?

  A: A dead end!

  Q: Where do vampires eat lunch?

  A: At the casketeria!

  Q: How did the zombie accomplish all his goals?

  A: He was very deadicated!

  Q: What was the witch’s favorite TV show?

  A: Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!

  Q: Who did the ghost invite to the party?

  A: Anyone he could dig up!

  Q: Why did Dracula go to the dentist?

  A: To improve his bite!

  Q: On which day do zombies eat people?

  A: Chewsday!

  Q: What did the teenage witch say to her mother?

  A: Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?

  Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

  A: Day-scare centers!

  Q: How does Dracula like to have his food served?

  A: In bite-sized pieces!

  Q: Why was the zombie fired?

  A: They wanted someone more lively!

  Q: Why was the student witch so bad at essays?

  A: Because she could not spell properly!

  Q: Did you hear about the ghost comedian?

  A: He is always booed off stage!

  Q: What has webbed feet and fangs?

  A: Count Quackula!

  Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a zombie?

  A: Frostbite!

  Q: Have you heard about the good weather witch?

  A: She is forecasting sunny spells!

  Q: What Central American country has the most spooks?

  A: Ghosta Rica!

  Q: Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires?

  A: He liked to see new blood in the business!

  Q: What did the zombie eat for dinner when he was late?

  A: The cold shoulder!

  Q: What do you call two witches who share a room?

  A: Broom-mates!

  Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

  A: Bamboo!

  Q: Can you name a vampire holiday?

  A: Fangsgiving Day!

  Q: Why did the zombie take his nose apart?

  A: To see what made it run!

  Q: How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance?

  A: Voodoo like to dance with me?

  Q: Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?

  A: The girl necks door!

  Q: What did vampire eat to stay healthy?

  A: Neck-tarines!

  Q: Why was the zombie party so boring?

  A: It was a dead event!

  Q: What happened when the ghost went to a party?

  A: He scared everyone off!

  Q: How come a witch would never wear a flat cap?

  A: Because there is no point in it!

  Q: How did the vampire get clean?

  A: He took a blood bath!

  Q: What did the zombie say to his long lost friend?

  A: I’ve been dying to see you!

  Q: What was the ghost’s favorite drink?

  A: Ghoul-aid!

  Q: How do witches lose weight?

  A: They join Weight Witches!

  Q: What was Dracula’s favorite fruit?

  A: Blood oranges!

  Q: Why did the zombie go see the psychic?

  A: To get his horrorscope read!

  Q: How come ghosts do not make good magicians?

  A: You can see right through their tricks!

  Q: What happens if you see twin witches?

  A: You will never be able to tell which witch is which!

  Q: What is the first thing that vampires learn in school?

  A: The alphabat!

  Q: What kind of dog is a zombie’s favorite?

  A: A blood hound!

  Q: What is Dracula’s favorite ice-cream flavor?

  A: Vein-illa!

  Q: When do ghosts play tricks on each other?

  A: On April Ghouls Day!

  Q: What does a vampire take for a cold?

  A: Coffin syrup!

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