Lonely Pride, Page 4

  Chapter Three

  Sam couldn’t sit still. With a nervous gesture she rose to stand in the middle of the room, her fingers fidgeting with the gold chain around her neck. “Can I get you another beer?” she offered, not meeting Mac’s eyes. Flicking a strand of hair behind an ear, she paced about.

  “No, this will do me for now.” Patting the cushion at his side, he said, “Come and sit down for God’s sake. Let’s talk.” His smile was meant to tempt, she guessed. Without thinking, she obeyed his soft command, her body rigid, her knees pressed together.

  “So, do you love this Peter guy?” he asked abruptly.

  Sam turned to glare at him. “I’m thinking of getting engaged to him aren’t I?”

  “So you say.” He shrugged. “But that wasn’t what I asked.” Suddenly he moved until their bare legs touched, making her skin burn where the rough hairs on his solid thigh brushed her sensitive skin. “I don’t believe you’re in love with him.” She wasn’t sure if it was the flickering candlelight playing tricks, but for a moment dangerous sparks glinted in his eyes. That was so unlike Mac, it shocked her.

  “Generally when people get engaged they’re in love.” Sam wondered just why she was fabricating these inane responses, when she knew she had no intention of going steady with Peter, let along making their relationship official.

  “Generalizations don’t apply here,” he pointed out. “It’s my belief they tend to skim the surface and rarely touch on the truth. And the truth is you aren’t in love with this guy.”

  Sam stared at him. “I don’t give a damn what you believe!” She made to rise but he stopped her with a firm hand on her wrist.

  “Yes, you do. Fight the truth all you will, but don’t ever delude yourself into believing you can sweep what we felt for each other away as if it never existed.”

  Sam struggled against the warm clamp of his fingers. “What utter conceit! I can forget what we meant to each other as easily as I can forget...” With a quick glance about, she finished hotly, “What I had for dinner last night.”

  “Rubbish.” The word flicked out like a whiplash. “Is that why you touched me earlier as if you couldn’t get enough of me? Is that why you’re trembling now because I’m touching you.” He ran a finger down her cheek.

  Sam flinched. “I was stunned by the near accident.” She lifted her chin stubbornly. “And you’re hurting me now.”

  “Oh no, Sam. You’re pretending you’re an enemy and spitting venom like a deranged snake, but I have nothing wrong with my senses. Whether you admit it or not, your body is sending mine messages it can’t mistake. You want me as much as I want you.”

  “You’re so mistaken. And as far as I can recall it wasn’t me doing the touching earlier, but you.” She decided to forget she’d been as eager to return his kisses as he’d been to give them.

  He grunted softly. “Are you as uninhibited with this Peter guy as you were with me?” His thumb traced disturbing circles over the heel of her hand and she tried to drag free again, futilely. “Do you satisfy all his male needs? I take it you’re sleeping with him?” His brow furrowed as if that thought angered him.

  “That’s none of your damned business!” Plucking at his fingers, she cried, “Will you please let go of me, you’re hurting me.” He wasn’t, but she really needed to get away from him—and now.

  But rather than loosening, his grip tightened. “Once upon a time everything you did was my business, as everything I did was yours.” His voice was cold, his expression as hard as steel.

  “That was long ago, and has no significance.” As she moistened suddenly dry lips she watched the color flare along his jaw line.

  “We’ll see about that.” Before she could form a protest he moved like a predatory animal, his head lowering.

  Sam strained away from his mouth, a mere inch from hers. “Kiss me and I’ll scream,” she hissed. “Barbara won’t think you’re such a great guy then, will she?”

  “What will you tell her? That I forced my attentions on you? I don’t think she’ll believe that.” His hold tightened, but still he didn’t hurt her. Sam knew she should fight, but her body was responding to him while her eyes clung to his in a kind of trance.

  She averted her head determinedly, knowing it was only a token act of contradiction for her mouth became tremulous as his hand cupped her jaw and his lips covered hers. His kiss was all devouring, but her mouth willingly allowed him to invade it. A shudder ripped through her as she clung to him. Mac was her universe—all that mattered to her. Just as he’d always been.

  At some stage he gentled his hold, but she was so immersed in the wonder of him she wasn’t conscious of anything but the feel of his mouth over hers and his hands as they fondled her bare shoulders. “Mac.” The soft word left her mouth on a sigh, before he continued his onslaught with devastating expertise.

  Suddenly he tugged at her top, baring her upper body to his heated gaze. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, the throaty sound forcing her to open her eyes. “I always knew you would blossom into a lovely woman.” Unthinkingly she arched as his mouth took possession of a nipple, his groan rumbling right through her down to her toes.

  With a small cry of denial she pushed at his shoulders, but he ignored her and continued with the assault to her senses until she was afire in every cell.

  “Yes, darling,” he muttered, brushing his mouth across her heated breasts with an eroticism that melted her bones. “Yes, baby.” Lifting his head his eyes clashed with hers. “Yes, my love. Your body belongs to me. You gave it to me, remember? You gave me your heart, your soul, and your body. And I accepted them all in exchange for mine.”

  His dark head returned to her breast and with a groan of anguish she realized what she had allowed him to see, to do. “You can’t own people.” When he refused to stop the intense pleasure he was bestowing on her, she frantically pushed at his head, then his shoulders. Her head went from side to side, her fingers plucking at his hair.

  When his eyes came up to meet hers again she made a last effort to cover her moist and aching breasts. Finally she succeeded. If she’d learnt nothing else, she knew now that you can’t be used or owned by anybody. Panting, she scrambled away from him, and he let her go. As she stood up she said icily, “You gave up all rights to own any part of me. You gave me a promise which you broke. You broke!” The last came out shrilly and tears spurted from her eyes. With trembling fingers she pushed back her disheveled hair. “You betrayed me,” she said in a broken whisper.

  “You’re so wrong. You’ve always been wrong. I didn’t break any promises to you.” Reaching for her hand he gave a shuddery sigh. Sam side-stepped and flung herself in a chair on the other side of the room. Her body still burned and ached while her mind tried to shut out the intense pleasure he’d just brought her. “We’ve been all through this before, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend all my life pleading my innocence.” His jaw was as clenched as his white-knuckled hands.

  Sam sniffed, pointing a finger at his nose. “Okay, Mr. Innocent, then tell me my eyes deceived me that night when I interrupted you. Swear to me you never made love with Clare. Tell me the pair of you were not half-naked and...” Biting back a sob she dragged in a shaky breath. “Tell me you weren’t about to satisfy your lecherous needs. Go on, tell me again it was all quite innocent and that tramp Claire wasn’t naked in your arms, and you weren’t screwing her like a...a sex-maniac!” Her words were interspersed with wrenching sobs she couldn’t control.

  Through the tears she saw that his eyes were filled with raw pain. “Your eyes didn’t deceive you, as you well know. But only as far as seeing her naked. I never lied to you. She made it clear she wanted me, was always available. You know she slept around and earned a reputation at university. She threw herself at me—constantly. That terrible night she maneuvered the situation and you know it. I will admit for a brief moment I thought of accepting what she so readily offered. After all, I was a healthy and normal young man, but I
didn’t.” He stared down at his hands as they clenched on his knees. “God help me, I didn’t. And if you can’t bring yourself to believe that, then—then there’s not a lot left to be said.”

  Sam jumped up, scuffing at her wets cheeks with a fist. “I was available, Mac. I was always there for you,” she cried, and then quietly repeated, “I was always there for you. I would have given my life for you, and damn you, you knew it.”

  “What do you take me for, Sam? A lecher?” He gave an agonized groan. “You were a schoolgirl, for God’s sake.”

  “I trusted you.” Her voice broke on a sob. “While you were no better than a bull with the cows in the paddock.” She swayed as her legs seemed about to give way beneath her.

  “You’re so wrong!” Standing, he gripped her shoulders in a fierce hold. The endless misery that clouded the past five years of her life threatened to overwhelm her as she pressed her palms to her ears.

  “Don’t do that.” He dragged her hands away and for a moment they glared into each other’s eyes. “For too long you’ve refused to face up to the truth and I’m fast reaching the point where I’m not prepared to go on pleading with you.” Snatching her hands from his grip she turned her back on him, her shoulders hunched. “That’s right, refuse to face me, as you refuse to face facts.”

  “I never asked you to plead with me, in fact I never asked you for anything.” With a stubborn tilt of the chin she glared at him.

  “Not true.” There was so much sadness in his voice she almost relented and turned into his arms. “Samantha Frank is so filled with hostility and self-righteous pride she couldn’t stoop to admitting she could be wrong.” He dragged her around to face him. “Let me tell you this.” A long finger wagged under her nose. “It’s my philosophy, for what It’s worth. You can choke on your lonely pride forever if you choose. Or you can seize the opportunity as it presents itself. Hesitate too long and the moment will be gone. Remain blind and return to your precious Peter and refuse the olive branch offered. I’m not a man to go down on his knees and you know it. As you know so much else about me.

  “Think it over.” He strode to the door, giving her a mocking salute as he opened it. “Lock this after me. And sleep well.”

  Sam remained motionless for endless minutes as he drove away, her body as tightly coiled as a spring. Sleep well. He had to be kidding!