Heart-Shaped Hack, Page 3

  “Tell me everything you know about me,” Kate said. She was tired of being blindsided whenever he spouted some new personal detail.

  “Let’s see… you turned twenty-nine in September. You have a dentist appointment next week, and the book you placed on hold at the library is ready for you to pick up. You receive a disturbing number of messages on your dating account from men trying to hook up with you or asking to see you naked, which you delete immediately. I have to say I’m truly shocked at what men deem appropriate behavior in the modern dating world.”

  “You,” Kate said, pointing a finger at him. “You are shocked.”

  “I am. I’m not sure how you women put up with it.”

  “The struggle is real. Go on.”

  “Your e-mails all include emoticons, usually hearts and smiley faces, and your Netflix queue consists mostly of romantic comedies. Oh, and you’re a 34C. That’s just the stuff I can remember offhand. I’m sure there’s more.”

  Kate was horrified. “How do you know my bra size?”

  “I scrolled through your order history at Victoria’s Secret.”

  “Well, that’s not at all creepy,” she deadpanned.

  “Did you know there are items in your shopping cart? Sweaters. Lots of thick, long, skin-covering sweaters. Frankly, it confused me.”

  “Maybe I already own plenty of lingerie. Considering I walk to work, sweaters are much more practical. Plus they’re awfully cute.”

  “I added a few things to your cart and checked out for you. I paid for it with my credit card. Expedited the shipping too, so you should have it by Monday.”

  “You added a few things?”

  “One hint: not sweaters.”

  “How wildly inappropriate.”

  “Kid in a candy store. Couldn’t help myself.”

  “How?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You’ve obviously hacked into my computer. How did you do it?”

  “I came in your backdoor.”

  “I’m certain you did not.”

  “I assure you that I did.”

  “Without even discussing it with me first? No preparation? No warning? Don’t you think that’s incredibly bad form?”

  Ian grinned. “Are we still talking about your computer? Because I find you utterly delightful right now.”

  “I’m waiting.”

  “A backdoor is just a way to gain remote access to a computer. It took me all of two minutes to take over yours.”

  “You have access to my computer?”

  “Yes.”

  A panicked expression appeared on Kate’s face. “Can you see my browsing history?” She’d recently clicked on a link to an article about how to pleasure a man orally, telling herself that it was always prudent to keep one’s skills sharp, especially now that she was single again. That link had led to a plethora of other links covering a host of similar topics, and Kate had spent a rather enjoyable evening sipping wine while clicking and reading.

  Ian winked. “I can, and I must say the more I learn about you, the more I like you.”

  “And to think I was once bothered by you tracking my credit card activity.”

  “Those were the good old days, huh?”

  “Do you know what I think? I think you’ve fallen into the habit of relying on your money and the way you look to excuse your appallingly intrusive behavior.”

  “You’re absolutely right. There aren’t many problems my money can’t solve, but let’s talk more about the way I look. What exactly do you like the most?”

  Kate feigned indifference. “I’m sure you’re very appealing to some, but I don’t happen to find you all that handsome.”

  “Yes you do.”

  Kate decided a subject change was in order. “You owe me some information.”

  “Quid pro quo, then?”

  “It’s only fair.”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Age?”

  “Thirty-two.”

  “Hometown?”

  “Amarillo.”

  “Really? You have no trace of an accent.”

  “I’m a man of many personas, darlin’.” He said the words in a thick drawl.

  “College?”

  “MIT. Computer Science. Top of my class, of course.”

  “Naturally.” Kate pulled her jacket tighter. Her butt had gone numb. “How long have you lived in Minnesota?”

  “A little over two months.”

  “How long are you staying?”

  “Not sure yet. I move around a lot.”

  “Where do you live?”

  “That’s top secret.”

  “Who do you work for?”

  “I work for no one.”

  “What’s your last name?”

  “I can’t tell you.”

  “You can’t tell me your last name? Are you kidding me?”

  “Nope. By the way, my ass is freezing.”

  “What do you do all day?”

  “I hack.”

  “I know that, but who or what do you hack? Besides me, that is.”

  “I hack whatever I want or need to hack.”

  “Pretty good at it then?”

  “I’m the best there is. No one can keep me out. Why did you stop practicing law?”

  Kate knew it would have taken him no time at all to unearth her education and former profession. “I’m supposed to be the one asking questions.”

  “I’m just curious.”

  “I wanted to help people. I couldn’t do much of that stuck in a tiny office filing briefs. At the food pantry I at least have tangible proof that I’m helping others.”

  “Is that why you rebuffed me that day at the café? Because you believe the law is black-and-white and I work in a gray area?”

  “I rebuffed you because I didn’t want your stolen money. Plus you violated my privacy in a way that was very off-putting and not okay. And, I might add, you’ve continued to violate it.”

  “I know you probably don’t believe me, but I’m actually a really nice guy. As such, I have a proposal for you.”

  “I can’t even imagine what it might entail.”

  “I propose that you forget about online dating and go out with me instead.”

  “Why would I go out with you? You engage in frequent illegal activity, and you have horrific boundary issues.”

  “Because I promise you that spending time with me will never be boring. And isn’t that what you’re really after? Someone who can inject a little adventure into your life?”

  There was no way she could ever take Ian seriously, but he was spot-on about the boredom. No matter how inexcusable his behavior, the few conversations she’d had with him had been the most stimulating exchanges she’d had with a man in a very long time.

  “We are on a vastly uneven playing field,” Kate said. “You know things about me, embarrassing things. Conversely, my efforts to find out anything substantial about you have crashed and burned. Nothing you’ve told me is personal. If you don’t want to answer something, you don’t, yet you did not extend to me the same courtesy. Do you want to know how that makes me feel? Naked. I feel like you have stripped me completely bare.”

  “I like the direction this conversation is going.”

  An idea slowly worked its way into Kate’s thoughts. At first she rejected it, but then the logical side of her brain took over. Retribution of some sort was absolutely necessary. Her solution was bold for sure, but it was the only way for her to gain any equilibrium. She yanked on Ian’s jacket and said, “Come with me.”

  “Oh good, we’re finally going inside where it’s warm.”

  Kate led Ian into the elevator. She punched the button for the fourth floor, and when the door opened she led him down the hall. Once they were inside Kate’s apartment, she pulled a small canister of pepper spray out of her purse and flicked off the safety button.

  “This just took a weird turn,” Ian said.

  “Take off all your clothes.”

  “Excuse m
e?” The shocked look on his face told Kate she had finally managed to rattle him.

  “You’ve shown no remorse whatsoever for your all-encompassing and blatant invasion of my privacy. Because that makes me feel naked, I’ve decided it’s only fair that you should feel naked. Also, get out of my computer immediately. I’m willing to move past the fact that you hacked me, but it ends now.”

  “No more backdoor?”

  “No more backdoor.”

  He appeared crestfallen. “Ever?”

  “Never,” Kate said firmly.

  “Not even on my birthday or like a special occasion?”

  “Are we still talking about my computer?” she asked.

  “You probably are.”

  “Do you really think that’s an appropriate topic for us to be discussing right now?”

  “You’re right. That talk should probably come a little later in our relationship when we feel like spicing things up a bit.”

  “You did not just say that.”

  “I didn’t? Because I heard the words come out of my mouth.”

  “Right now you’re closer to a restraining order than you are to a relationship.”

  He looked concerned. “Then I am really off my game.”

  “Because I don’t have the technical ability to know whether you’ve complied, I’ll have to take you at your word that you’ve removed the backdoor. If I somehow discover you haven’t, there will be no second chances.”

  “So if I remove the backdoor and take off my clothes, we’ll be even?”

  “Calling us even is a bit of a stretch, but okay.”

  “And you’ll go out with me?”

  “I suppose I can give this proposal of yours a chance. Trial basis only. If it doesn’t go well, I will not hesitate to cut you loose.”

  “And the pepper spray?”

  “That’s for my protection. Normally I would not allow a man I’d just met to come up to my apartment. I’m going to remain here next to the door so I can make a fast getaway if you try anything sketchy.”

  “You seriously want me to take off all my clothes?”

  “If you’re brave enough to do it, yes.”

  Ian unzipped his leather jacket and draped it over the arm of her couch. Next he pulled his sweater over his head and let it fall to the floor. Underneath he wore a white T-shirt, and Kate observed the way his muscles flexed as he took it off. He dropped it on top of the sweater and kicked off his shoes.

  He lost the jeans next, and her heart rate increased. His abs were absolute perfection, and her eyes were drawn to the narrow trail of hair that started at his belly button and disappeared into his boxer briefs.

  “You can leave your socks on,” she said. “My hardwood floor’s kind of cold.”

  “Are you sure? Because I can certainly take them off.”

  “I’m sure.” Kate wondered if he’d actually go through with it. But she’d questioned his bravery, and men rarely let that kind of thing go unchallenged. He put his fingers in the waistband of his underwear, and as soon as they were down around his ankles, he stepped out of them.

  Well goddamn.

  Here was a man who was utterly secure in the way he looked naked, and with good reason. His imposing height and athletic build showcased muscles that were well defined but not bulky. Broad shoulders tapered to a narrow waist, and his long legs looked sculpted and strong. Kate was not a fan of overly hairy men, and Ian had just the right amount.

  “Six three?”

  He smirked. “Four.”

  “Work out some?”

  “Quite a bit, actually. There’s a gym in my building.”

  Kate had to admit he was mouthwatering standing there in all his naked glory. How long had it been since she’d had sex? Six months at least. And it’s not like sex with Stuart had ever been especially satisfying. As she pondered that, Ian began to develop a rather impressive erection. She averted her eyes. “Stop that. This is not about sex. It’s about boundaries. It’s about equality.”

  “If you’re going to stare at it, it’s going to wake up and say hi.”

  “I wasn’t staring.”

  He let out a chuckle. “Okay.”

  Kate’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Not modest at all, are you?”

  “I can stand here all night if you want me to. Frankly, I’m more concerned about your itchy trigger finger on that pepper spray. I’ve heard it stings.”

  Kate snapped the safety lock back on but kept the canister in her hand, just in case. She leaned back against the door. “You’re quite stunning to look at, as I’m sure you’re already aware.”

  “Shall I give you a little twirl?”

  “Sure. Why not?”

  Slowly he turned in a circle, and looking at him was pure torture. The ass on this man! All of Kate’s recent orgasms had been of the DIY variety, and she was dying for some hot, steamy sex with an actual partner.

  “Do you know what I like about you, Katie?” Ian said when he’d turned back around.

  “My extreme tolerance?”

  “Yes! Most women would not be able to put up with me.”

  “Most women would probably have you arrested.”

  “Says the woman who made me take off my clothes.”

  “I’m guessing it’s not all that hard to get you out of them.”

  “You’re a good sport, Katie, and you have legs up to your neck.”

  “The legs are a big deal to you, aren’t they?”

  “I’ll let you know after I’ve seen the rest of you. There might be a body part I like even more than your legs.”

  “A bit assumptive, don’t you think? I said I’d go out with you, but you are still firmly in the friend zone. And I don’t care what kind of hotshot hacker you are, you won’t find any naked pictures of me online, so don’t even bother searching.”

  “Two steps ahead of you, Katie. Already looked and came up empty-handed. It was a sad day for me.”

  “Aren’t there things about me you’d like to find out organically?”

  “There are certain things I will never be able to find out about you until we’re doing them together. Just think about that. I know I am.”

  And now so was Kate.

  She took one last look at his naked body. “Okay, you can put your clothes back on now.”

  “I don’t know,” he said, taking a few steps toward Kate until he was standing close enough that she could identify the notes of his cologne—something spicy and masculine with a hint of citrus—and feel the warmth radiating off his smooth-looking skin. “I kind of like being naked.”

  “Must you always have the upper hand?”

  “Always, Katie. Never forget that.”

  Kate found it much easier to converse with Ian once she’d finally convinced him to get dressed. “Let’s go,” she said, grabbing her keys and beckoning him to follow her into the hallway.

  “Outside again? But it’s nice and warm in here.”

  “I’m walking you out because we’ve had enough togetherness for one day.” Kate was actually enjoying Ian’s company, but she was determined to wrest some control back from him and bring their interaction to a close on her terms. She also wanted to take a hot bath and put on something warm and comfortable, preferably made out of flannel. Then she planned to pop some popcorn and spend the evening watching one of those romantic comedies in her Netflix queue.

  Ian followed Kate into the elevator and then back outside to the front steps where he called a cab.

  “Where’s your car?” Kate was curious why a man who clearly wasn’t hurting for money would drive an older model, but maybe it was his frugality that allowed him to give money to charity.

  “I elected to leave it at home in case you decided to challenge me to a drinking contest. I’m not positive I would win. Either way, I’d surely be too impaired to drive.”

  “You’re the one who ordered the third round. Believe it or not, I would have stopped at two.”

  “Sure you would have.”


  “You’re insufferable. I don’t like you.”

  He leaned in closer. “Liar,” he whispered.

  She pushed him away. “Tell me something deeply personal and embarrassing. Something that’s, let’s say, on par with snooping in someone’s browsing history.”

  “So this anecdote? It should be of a sexual nature?”

  “If it’s embarrassing, sure.”

  “When I was fourteen, there was this girl I really liked. I’d been seeing her for a while, and we’d had some pretty heavy make-out sessions under the bleachers at school and in her bedroom when her parents thought we were studying. We finally reached the point where she said she was ready to go all the way, so I met her at a park by her house. It was dark and we crept up into this covered slide and took off each other’s clothes. I got so overly excited that when I tried to put on the condom, I came all over my hand.”

  Kate’s eyes widened. “Fourteen? Seriously?”

  “Did you not hear the part where I came on my hand? This is incredibly embarrassing information I’m sharing with you.”

  “I’m sure it was quite awkward.”

  “It was, but since I was so young I got hard again about three minutes later. I pretty much nailed it on the second attempt. In case you were wondering, I have much more control now.”

  “I think there are probably other, more legitimately embarrassing, stories you could share. I’m equally sure you’re not going to tell me any of them.”

  “Probably not.” He leaned against the metal railing of the steps. “I gather from the plans you made with Kent that an afternoon get-together is an acceptable option for our first date? It just so happens I have a meeting at one o’clock on Monday at U.S. Bank. I’ll swing by afterward and take you to a late lunch. How does that sound?”

  Why not? she thought. Curiosity had become the driving factor in her decision-making process. Ian intrigued her in a way Stuart never had.

  “I suppose that will work.”

  “Speaking of Kent,” Ian said, shaking his head. “He wasn’t a nice guy. After I got done going through his online dating account, I snooped around on his computer. Found quite a few videos on his hard drive. In the clips he’s having sex with lots of different women. I can’t be sure, but it seemed to me by the way he posed them that they might not have been aware the camera was running.”