Third Position (“Observer”): A disassociated position from which one can more objectively or neutrally observe or review events, seeing oneself and others interact.
Universal Quantifier: A linguistic term for words that are applied to all cases and all situations without exception, e.g., all, every, always, and negations such as never, none, etc.
Visual: The sense of seeing. (See “Representational Systems.”)
Well-Formed Outcome: A goal that is stated in positive terms, obtainable, chunked down appropriately, within the individual’s control and contextualized, and helps satisfy your or someone else’s outcome.
References
Chapter 2
Cornell College of Hospitality research source: a paper by Michael Lynn, Ph.D., http://www.hotelschool.cornell.edu/research/chr/pubs/reports/abstract–13602.html.
Leslie Cameron, “Outcome Frame,” NLP Home Study Guide, published by NLP Comprehensive, ©1984–2007.
Chapter 3
Research on visualization and shooting free-throws. L. V. Clark, “Effect of mental practice on the development of a certain motor skill,” Research Quarterly 31, no. 4 (December 1960): 560–69; Tony Morris, Michael Spittle, and Anthony P. Watt, Imagery in Sport (Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics, 2005), also mentioned at http://www.vanderbilt.edu/ans/psychology/health_psychology/mentalimagery.html.
Francesco Cirillo, The Pomodoro Technique, 2009. This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial, No derivative Works 3.0 License—http://www.pomodorotechnique .com.
“Eye Movement Integration” process originally created by Steve and Connirae Andreas, http://www.nlpco.com/library/therapy/eye-movement-integration-therapy.
Navy SEALs training tips, http://www.menshealth.com/best-life/mission-save-you/page/5.
Chapter 4
Herbert Benson, The Relaxation Response (New York: William Morrow, 1975).
Excerpt about meta-programs from Joseph O’Connor and John Seymour, Introducing NLP (London: Thorson’s, 1990).
Chapter 5
GGNEE model created by Rick Middleton, founder of Executive Expression in Los Angeles; mentioned in Mark Goulston’s Just Listen (New York: American Management Association, 2010).
Chapter 6
Emotional content in communication based on research by Albert Mehrabian, Silent Messages, 1st ed. (Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, 1971).
Research on sports teams and touching, Benedict Carey, “Evidence That Little Touches Do Mean So Much,” New York Times, February 22, 2010, http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/23/health/23mind.html. “To see whether a rich vocabulary of supportive touch is in fact related to performance, scientists at Berkeley recently analyzed interactions in one of the most physically expressive arenas on earth: professional basketball. Michael W. Kraus led a research team that coded every bump, hug, and high five in a single game played by each team in the National Basketball Association early last season. In a paper due out this year in the journal Emotion, Mr. Kraus and his co-authors, Cassy Huang and Dr. Keltner, report that with a few exceptions, good teams tended to be touchier than bad ones.”
Allen Bluedorn, The Human Organization of Time (Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2002).
Phil Zimbardo, The Time Paradox: The New Psychology of Time That Will Change Your Life (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2008). Animated presentation at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3oIiH7BLmg.
Chapter 7
Mark Goulston, Just Listen (New York: American Management Association, 2010).
Touch Research Institute, University of Miami School of Medicine. “Research by Tiffany Field of the Touch Research Institute in Miami has found that a massage from a loved one can not only ease pain but also soothe depression and strengthen a relationship.” Best source: http://books.google.com/books/about/Touch.html?id=1fBdoaBC9-YC.
Cincinnati Children’s Hospital: “Research has demonstrated that patients who receive healing touch experience accelerated wound healing, relaxation, pain relief, and general comfort.”
Robert Cialdini, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (New York: HarperBusiness, 2006).
Chapter 8
Robert Dilts, Strategies of Genius (Capitola, CA: Meta, 1995).
Keith V. Trickey, “The Walt Disney Creative Strategy,” http://www.wiredportfolio.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/DisneyPaper.pdf.
21-Day Guide
Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (New York: Fireside, 1989).
Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers (New York: Little, Brown, 2008).
Acknowledgments
We gratefully acknowledge Dr. Robert Dee McDonald, NLP innovator, author, and trainer for creating:
• and testing this version of the “Auditory Swish” in eighteen countries.
• his extended version of the NLP Presuppositions.
• the taxi-driver metaphor, which is the foundation of his Destination Method, a Transpersonal Coaching Strategy.
• the Mission Detection Process, which informed sections of this book.
Robert McDonald is coauthor of two NLP books titled, Tools of the Spirit and NLP: The New Technology of Achievement. His website is TelosCenter.com.
Index
The pagination of this electronic edition does not match the edition from which it was created. To locate a specific entry, please use your e-book reader’s search tools.
Note: Italic page numbers refer to illustrations.
accessing cues, defined, 405 and 210
activity, as a meta-program content domain, 247, 248, 249
agreement, checking for, 272
amygdala, 113, 127, 166, 167
anchors:
creating personal anchor, 28–31
defined, 405
generating energy and, 105
kinesthetic anchor, 29, 119–120, 357
negative anchors, 28, 32, 35
perceptual positions and, 172
positive anchors, 28, 35, 119–120, 123
spatial, 28
stacking, 31
strengthening positive mental states with, 38
strengthening your anchor, 119–120, 123
thinking and, 26–28
touch as, 29, 30, 31, 32, 105, 119, 172, 265
as triggers, 35
victory list, 118
Andreas, Connirae, 96
Andreas, Steve, 96, 139
anxiety, as driver, 100–101
apologies, 349–350, 353
appearance, persuasive communication, 293–296, 302
appreciation, 375, 384, 396–398
“as if” frame, defined, 405
asking well-formed outcome questions, 46–53
associated experiences:
confidence and, 109–110
defined, 405
enriching nature of, 60
intensity of, 59, 84
mental movies and, 62–64, 168, 385, 389
motivation and, 102–103
self-concept and, 142
victory list and, 107, 112
assumptions:
autopilot and, 308, 311, 320
beliefs and, 288, 289
GGNEE 173–174
rapport and, 222
stereotypes and, 160–161, 173–174, 193
auditory cues:
depression and, 75–76, 82–84
nonverbal behaviors and, 211, 227
removing negative auditory cues, 76–78
auditory mode:
communication in, 202, 206, 227, 275, 379
language and, 245
paralanguage and, 211
thinking and, 23
Auditory Swish, 75–76, 78, 81, 82, 116, 122
authenticity:
first position and, 168, 297
in interactions, 192–193, 244
autopilot:
assumptions and, 308, 311, 320
deletion and, 14, 38
distortion and, 14–15, 38
expectation
s and, 306–308, 320, 351
generalization and, 12–13, 37, 288
thinking and, 12–15
away-from meta-program. See toward/away-from meta-program
backtrack, defined, 405
Bandler, Richard, 78, 363
Bannister, Roger, 391
beginning of day:
motivation and, 101–103, 122
questions for, 65–67, 86
behavior:
emotions triggering, 11, 160
individual preferences and, 134–139
meta-programs and, 136, 254
positive intentions and, 39, 196
usefulness of, 40
zooming in and, 223–224, 256
See also nonverbal behaviors
behavioral flexibility, defined, 405
beliefs:
adapting to differences in, 279–280
defined, 405
empowering beliefs, 240, 255, 261
exploring personal beliefs, 240–242, 286–289
generalizations and, 13, 37, 132, 134, 152, 288, 289
identifying, 133–134, 236
limiting beliefs, 240–241, 255, 261, 289, 301
loosening and “unsticking,” 284–289, 301
maps of reality and, 39, 221, 234–242, 255, 257, 279, 285, 301
meta-outcomes and, 242–244, 261
reframing and, 281–282, 301
roots of, 236–239
self-concept and, 131, 132–134, 138, 149, 152
understanding someone’s belief, 285–286, 288
belonging, 237, 240, 243
Benson, Herbert, 128
Bird, Larry, 393
Bluedorn, Allen, 250
body:
brain and, 93–94
Conflict Integration Process and, 329–333
first position and, 168, 172
meditation and, 129
mind and, 41, 66–67, 93–96
thinking and, 15–16, 38
body language:
breaking rapport and, 219, 220
incongruence and, 206, 228
inner state and, 206
interactions and, 182, 198
matching and, 204, 214, 217, 380
mirroring and, 212, 219
negotiation and, 340, 343
personal space requirements and, 179
questions and, 230
safety and, 261
See also nonverbal behaviors
body position:
matching, 216, 217
nonverbal behaviors and, 208, 212, 214
rapport and, 218, 219
boundaries, 9, 195, 220, 298, 299, 302
brain:
amygdala, 113, 127, 166, 167
body and, 93–94
curiosity and, 80
deep breathing and, 113–114, 127
emotions and, 25
Eye Movement Integration, 96–99, 122
hydration and, 94
interactions and, 165–167, 197
metaphors and, 291
nonverbal behaviors and, 206, 217
outcome frames and, 44–53
peak performance and, 390
questions and, 271, 301, 348
reframing and, 282, 284
self-concept and, 140–141, 147
sensory input and, 22, 37
stress and, 127
survival focus of, 44, 85
thinking and, 16, 18, 38, 44
touch and, 262
breaks, physical and mental breaks, 94–95, 122
break state, defined, 406, 413
breathing:
conflict and, 320, 334
deep breathing, 93–94, 113–114, 122, 127
meditation and, 129–130
nonverbal behaviors and, 210, 216
Cameron, Leslie, 45–46
Capra, Frank, 396
Carr, Ken, 313
cause-effect, 234, 236
change:
choices and, 41
in emotional states, 78–82
of habits, 33
metaphors supporting, 290–293, 296, 302
modeling and, 197
motivation and, 367
ripple effect of, 187
in self-concept, 139, 150–151, 153, 161
channels:
defined, 406
See also preferred representational systems/channels
choices:
appearance and, 294–295
beliefs and, 13, 132, 281–282
confidence and, 105
creativity and, 306, 351
critical inner voices and, 116
in emotional states, 78–82, 86
flexibility and, 40, 53, 186–193, 196, 350
freedom in, 39
in interactions, 36, 186–193
mind and, 44, 85
outcome frames and, 45
positive change and, 41
representational modalities and, 24
self-concept and, 144, 161
chunk size:
defined, 406
goals and, 47, 53, 55, 374
learning and, 40
Cialdini, Robert, 282
Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, 263
Circle of Excellence process, 5–8, 28
Clapton, Eric, 393
Clark, L. V., 92
collaboration:
Disney creativity strategy and, 316
key ideas, 351–353
well-formed outcome model of, 308–310, 351
commitments, voluntary nature of, 66
communication:
belief differences and, 279–280
conflict and, 320–321, 345–347
Conflict Integration Process and, 336–338
flexibility in, 186, 276
listening skills and, 262
local language and, 272–280
meaning defined by response to, 40, 164
meta-program preferences and, 276–277
preferred representational modalities and, 202, 206, 227, 245, 273, 274, 379
quality of, 40–41, 260
questions facilitating understanding, 229–234
redundancy of, 41, 202
technology and, 159, 359, 378
time differences and, 278–279
tips for uncharted territory, 268–272
toxic relationships and, 299
visual nature of, 206
See also persuasive communication
confidence:
amping up, 107–110
living in “the zone” and, 90
motivation and, 122
Navy SEALs training and, 110–114, 122, 127
optimism and, 105–107
conflict:
beliefs and, 279–280
creative problem solving and, 319–328
emotions and, 345–350, 351, 353
identifying, 327–328, 338
key ideas, 351–353
loosening up positions, 320–325, 326
meta-programs and, 248
See also inner conflict
Conflict Integration Process:
communication during, 336–338
inner conflict and, 328–336, 351
interactions and, 325–327
meta-outcomes and, 335–336, 342
negotiation compared to, 339–345, 352
confusion, recognizing, 73
congruence:
communication and, 202
defined, 406
flow state and, 57
harmonization of systems and, 41
interactions and, 260
outcome frames and, 44–45
well-formed outcomes and, 59
connections with others:
being good company, 161–165
brain and, 165–167
emotions and, 164, 188–191, 194
empathy and, 167–169
flexibility and, 186–193, 196–197
GGNEE and, 173–174
helping others feel safe, 175–176, 194
i
dentifying ways other people are good company, 174–175
key ideas, 197–199
local language and, 272–280
mirroring and matching, 18, 176–179
perceptual positions and, 168–172, 176, 198
physical connection, 262–265
sense of being felt and, 180–186
structure of experience and, 160–161
tips for uncharted territory, 268–272
understanding and, 261
values and, 196
See also interactions
content:
defined, 406
as meta-program content domains, 247, 248–249, 254
context:
defined, 406
meta-programs and, 248
reframing and, 281
well-formed outcomes and, 371
context reframing, defined, 406
contradicting, 268, 280
Cornell School of Hotel Administration, 32
counter-examples:
beliefs and, 241
defined, 406
exceptions and, 34
overgeneralizations and, 134
self-concept and, 143–144, 147, 148, 153
Covey, Stephen, 375
creating a personal anchor, 28–31
creativity:
choices and, 306, 351
conflict and, 319–328
curiosity and, 284, 306
Disney creativity strategy, 312–319
interactions and, 350
key ideas, 351–353
resources and, 311–312
stress and, 127
untapped, 310–311
criteria:
defined, 406
language and, 233–234
Critic role, in Disney Creativity Strategy, 313, 314–315, 317
curiosity:
beliefs and, 241
conflict and, 319
creativity and, 284, 306
in interactions, 187, 193, 194, 225
maps of reality and, 223, 255
meta-programs and, 248
nonverbal behaviors and, 226–227
as preferred emotional state, 79–82
reframing and, 284
Curiosity Shunt Installation, 79–82
current coordinates, 363–366
decision-making, 135, 136–137, 152, 245
deletion:
autopilot and, 14, 38
defined, 406
generalization and, 15, 132
language and, 132–134, 152, 229
depression, 75–76, 82–84, 87
Dilts, Robert, 312, 313
disassociated experiences:
creativity and, 311–312
defined, 407
future worry and, 67
impartial observance of, 59–60, 85
inner voices and, 83
of memories, 59–60, 61, 64, 86, 385, 386