Home Tears, Page 6

  like I go north during the summers and south for the winters.”

  “You’re my big teddy bear, Stilts.” Aiden laughed as she leaned closer to him, resting against his shoulder. It was obvious they were close. He gazed down at her with genuine affection, his eyes warming.

  He said, “Then you can say I migrated, but not you, Kate. I’m not a damn goose.”

  “Everyone from Northway should migrate to Craigstown. You’re just the only goose in the town with a brain.” Kate laughed, unhooking her elbow from Dani’s.

  Robbie reached around her laughing form and extended a hand. “Hi, Dani. Remember me? I know we didn’t know each other that well, but times change. Thank goodness, right?”

  “Hi, Robbie. I do remember you.”

  “Take a seat.” He pointed to the empty stool on Kate’s other side. “It’s good to see you again.”

  “Dani!” Kate pointed. “Please tell Stilts that he kinda looks like a goose. See, his mouth and chin could be a beak, you know—one of those long, black beaks.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Dani.” Stilts offered his hand. “Don’t mind these guys. Not only are they drunk, but their maturity levels return to high school where it must’ve been cool to pretend everyone was some form of bird. And speaking of, Kate, if you’re going to liken me to poultry, at least let it be something cool. Like—”

  “A turkey!” Aiden shouted, giggling.

  “This is going from bad to worse.”

  “I know.” Bubba leaned forward, and everyone quieted. “You could be one of those flamingos.”

  Aiden and Kate shrieked, throwing their hands back.

  “The goose was better.” Stilts groaned. He said to Dani, “They’ve been drinking. You can’t tell at all, right?” He winked.

  Dani noted the eight empty glasses left on the table. They’d gotten there earlier than expected.

  Robbie thumped him on the shoulder. “Chin up, mate. Kate told me I was an opossum the first five months I got back.”

  “She has to be an animal.” Stilts pointed to Dani.

  “Uh…” Dani was caught. She was half-amused and half-horrified.

  “She’s a swan.” Kate smiled. And Dani blinked at the sincerity in that smile.

  Then everything was interrupted.

  Jonah drew abreast the table, and his sister lunged for him, hugging him. Three other guys followed him—Dani remembered Hawk from high school. They’d been the bad boys everyone wanted be with, or just to be like. Jonah had been their leader with Hawk as his best friend and enforcer. With the same Mohawk, an even bigger muscular build, and tattoos covering his neck, Dani shuddered. He looked like he was still the best enforcer.

  “Oh—” Jonah grimaced as he caught Bubba’s gaze. “My little sis is drunk. Good job, brother-in-law.”

  Bubba shrugged and grinned. And took a large gulp of his own drink.

  “Oh.” Aiden swatted at her brother, and missed. “What are you all crabby about?”

  Jonah looked up and caught Dani’s gaze, but he answered, “Nothing.” He shrugged off her hold. “Take my sister, Bubs. I gotta get a drink.”

  Kate gasped. “How many tonight, do you think, Aiden?”

  “You guys.” Jonah groaned.

  “Oh.” Aiden scrunched her face, concentrating. “I’m thinking…five girls tonight.”

  “Yep.” Kate gave Jonah the once-over. “Definitely five—at least. He’s got the trendy jeans on tonight with his white T-shirt. He’ll get, at least, five tonight.”

  Jonah rolled his eyes and left with Hawk. The rest followed behind.

  “I hate my brother. I hate how he got the good genes in the family.”

  “Excuse me?” Kate asked in disbelief. “Do you not see yourself? You’re gorgeous, Aiden. You know the one girl who is so beautiful that she’s above scrutiny from anyone else? That’s you.” She snorted. “Thank God you’re nice. Otherwise you’d be a bitch.”

  “Oh, please.” Aiden rolled her eyes.

  “Dani.” Kate looked to her. “Tell me that you agree.”

  “Kate’s right.”

  Aiden snorted, gesturing to her. “Have you looked in the mirror, Dani? You’ve got one of those stunning serene looks that make men just drool. Literally.” Aiden stuck out her tongue. “I’m not like that.”

  Bubba wrapped his arms around his wife and murmured something in her ear. Aiden blushed and turned to whisper back.

  Kate shook her head, a fond smile lingering over her mouth as she watched the married couple. It was evident how close everyone was, and Dani had a feeling this conversation had been brought up a few times.

  Finishing his drink, Robbie stood up, and asked her, “Dani, what do you drink?”

  “Nothing. Not tonight, anyway.”

  “Come on. That’s why we’re at the beer gardens. Fair only comes once a year.” Kate held up her glass. “You know my drink.”

  Robbie gave her a similar fond look that she’d just been wearing, and he took her glass. “Only a few more, then you had too many.”

  “Come on. I’m off-duty tonight.”

  “Are you ever really?” Dani teased, but she caught sight of Jake finally coming inside. He was looking around the place, his jaw clenched and he was moving stiffly. A stiff Jake never meant good things. And when he reached behind him, his hand extending to someone else, she let out a quiet breath of air. A knot started to tighten in her stomach. “On second thought, I’ll take a whiskey.”

  “Alright.” Robbie nodded his approval before disappearing in the crowd.

  Stilts whistled. “You have changed, Dani.”

  “Says the one who never knew you.” Kate barked out a laugh.

  But Dani was still watching Jake and after a moment, a feminine hand touched his. That’s when Dani knew for sure—Julia hadn’t gone to some clinic for the weekend.

  “Hey, Dani.”

  Kate was saying something to her in the background, but a buzzing sound filled Dani’s head. She felt the blood draining from her face. She knew, but she hadn’t, not until she actually saw her sister step inside. Julia was thin before she left, but she looked even more now. Her cheekbones, nose, and chin were similar to Julia Roberts’. It’d been a laugh in their family, because of the similar names. It was maybe a bit more pronounced since she’d lost some weight. She was wearing a white cardigan, with a billowy skirt and white top underneath.

  As Dani studied her sister, Julia pulled the ends of her sweater closed. A normal person might’ve assumed she was cold from that gesture, but Dani knew better. Julia was guarding herself. That cardigan was like her armor. She did the same when they were children, always needing something to cloak her. Dani used to think it showed her insecurity, but that never mattered. Julia would slink to the background and whisper her complaints in Erica’s ear. Erica was larger than life. She had no problem doing whatever she wanted, wearing whatever she wanted. Julia was almost the exact opposite. She was too controlled.

  Dani was staring right at her sister. She got a few moments to study her before everyone else realized what two presences were among them. A second hush fell over the room, and her sister looked up, her eyebrows pulled together. She glanced to Jake, then followed his gaze all the way to—Dani readied herself. She knew it was coming.

  Julia saw her. Her eyes widened, and her chest rose in a jerking motion.

  Both sisters stared at the other.

  “Oh,” Kate murmured.

  Aiden laid a hand on her arm. “Dani.”

  Dani wasn’t sure what she was supposed to feel. This was a moment that was supposed to be lived in infamy, but all she felt was emptiness. Gone. Ten years past, and it was like she never left. The same derision and superiority lined her sister’s shoulders, making them straighten as she stood to her fullest height.

  Anger filled Julia’s eyes. She whipped around to Jake, and her hand lifted. She was shaking it in the air, in sharp quick motions.

  Jake tugged her closer. His hand was in the air t
oo, but he was making a soothing movement. When he bent his head down, then snuck a glance to Dani from the corner of his eyes, she went into motion. They were talking about her. She could already imagine it. Julia was saying, “How could you? Why is she here?” Like her own sister was a dog to her, underneath her, asking for her crumbs.

  Dani pushed through the crowd. “Oh no, you don’t.”

  Julia snapped to attention, and her eyes widened, seeing Dani still covering the distance between them, and coming in fast. She looked panicked, but Dani didn’t care. It was going to happen sooner or later. Dani’d rather have it done now. She wanted a fight.

  The beer gardens remained quiet.

  Julia tried to hide behind Jake, but Dani reached and hauled her in front. “You do not hide behind him.”

  Julia snapped to attention—and there was the Julia Dani remembered—eyes blazing. She shoved at Dani’s hold on her arm. “Excuse me? Don’t touch me!”

  “Then don’t get Jake to fight for you.” Dani squared up to her. Their noses were almost touching. She could almost breathe on her. “You sent him to tell me to stay away. I’m right here. Say it to me yourself now.”

  “You can’t come home and expect everything to be the same—”

  “When?” Dani shot back. “When did I demand for things to be the same? Because I’d rather be gone again than have things the same. So when did I, in your imaginary conversation with me, demand things to be the same?”

  “Excuse me?”

  Dani wanted to go back at her, a smart-ass comment on her tongue. She swallowed it. The emptiness that she had been feeling before was gone. It was filled up with years of anger. This wasn’t how she hoped her first conversation would go with her sister, but it was happening nonetheless. Her sister would run any other time. She couldn’t this time. They were in public. People would talk about how she’d been the coward of the two O’Hara sisters.

  “I have as much right to see Aunt Kathryn as you do.”

  Jake frowned.

  Dani knew that he knew. She didn’t really want to see Kathryn. She just didn’t want Julia to think she could make commands and she’d obey.

  “You do not.” Julia’s eyes were blazing again. “And she doesn’t want to see you.”

  “Then the house.”

  Julia quieted. “What about the house?”

  “I want to come and see if any of my things are still there.”

  Julia snorted. “Yeah, right. Erica trashed all of your stuff, and what she didn’t, I did.” She was smug, taking pleasure in her words. “We had a bonfire one night. The rest of your crap got burned.” She leaned back against Jake. “If you don’t believe me, ask Jake. He was there.”

  Guilt filled her ex’s gaze before he looked down to the ground.

  Dani gritted her teeth. She wasn’t surprised, but she was surprised at the added pang in her chest. “I want a picture of mom.”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you left for ten years. You’re not owed one.”

  “So there are some pictures left?”

  Kathryn got along with their mother as well as Julia got along with her. If her sisters burned her things, she wouldn’t have been shocked to find her mother’s sister doing the same to her remnants.

  “I don’t know, okay?” Julia confessed, some of the fight leaving. She quieted her voice, and her shoulders loosened a bit. “We didn’t burn her stuff on purpose. There was a fire in the house. A lot of stuff was lost, but I remember seeing a few pictures of Mom. I can’t recall where they’re at right now.”

  Julia was fidgeting with her fingers, and her throat was moving, she kept swallowing. She was lying. Dani saw it. She knew her sister’s tells and she was reading them right now.

  Dani wanted to call bullshit on her sister, but she refrained. It was their first meeting in ten years. There’d been no hugs, no handshakes, and no tears of happiness. There hadn’t even been a ‘welcome home.’ Julia hadn’t said she missed her, and Dani didn’t think she missed her sister back either. There was so much they needed to say to each other, or maybe they didn’t. Maybe they could go through life not talking at all. No. Dani considered it. It was tempting, but she knew at some point they’d have to talk.

  Jake. Erica.

  But Dani wanted to focus on one thing right then. She wanted a picture of her mom. And whether Julia was going to give it to her or not, she was going to get it.

  One way or another.

  She was sitting on a bench toward the north end of the fair’s pond. It’d been man-made so it wasn’t large, and it couldn’t be classified as a lake, but it wasn’t the typical mud-like pond that Dani always thought when she heard that word. No. This body of water was serene, and calm, and there were lights set up all around it. A path circled it with a few benches set up so people could sit and enjoy the view.

  Because she was sitting at the north end, she saw Jonah coming long before she would’ve heard the quiet crunch of his shoes on the path. Not that she would’ve heard much. He was silent, and almost ghost-like. He sat beside her, leaning back to mirror how she was sitting.

  She kept her gaze trained on the water. It always soothed her. Any water. She needed that soothing at that moment too. She slid her hands inside her pockets. “I’m good. I just needed a breather.”

  “You know what I do, right?”

  She nodded. “You take care of Falls River for us.”

  “I’m in charge of the town’s water front. I oversee everything. So if someone wants to build on the river, I’m the one who gives permission to their permits or not. There’s a lot of other stuff I do, but the one area that I get a kick out of is when I check on the park. There’s always this whole line of little kids there. They’re all lined up. One by one, shoulder to shoulder, just throwing rocks into the water. You think they’d get tired of it, but they never do.”

  He bent down, scooped up a rock, and tossed it in the pond.

  “They feel powerful when they do that.” Dani watched the waves ripple. “My ex-fiancé was a psychologist with the Red Cross. He told me that one time. He tried to explain to me why the kids in the orphanage always wanted to go to the ocean.”

  She was talking, and she had no idea why. She’d barely acknowledged Boone, and now she was talking about the orphanage? Maybe she should’ve been shocked at her confession, but she couldn’t put the brakes on what she was saying. She frowned. Maybe she was getting tired of holding everything in?

  Jonah glanced at her. She saw it from the corner of her eye. She still didn’t turn to him, even when he asked, so quietly, “You were engaged?”

  She nodded.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Dani shook her head. A sad laugh slipped out. “I thought you’d talk about the orphanage, not the guy.” She looked now, a grin teasing at her mouth. “We’ll go with him. I’d rather have that conversation than the other one.”

  Jonah grinned back. “Now I don’t know what to ask.” He laughed softly. “So you were engaged, huh?”

  Her head fell back and she laughed with him. It was the first genuine laugh she’d had, and then she sobered because she couldn’t remember the last time she laughed for real. She sighed. “That felt good. I haven’t done that in a while.”

  She waited for the line. She looked good laughing. She should do it more often. It was always that same message: be happy. Don’t be sad. Or at the very least, don’t show you’re sad. Be fake. When Jonah didn’t say either, and she waited a beat to see if he would then and he didn’t, she murmured, “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For not telling me to laugh more. For not telling me to be fake.”

  He shrugged. “Trust me. I get it. And I like reality, not fake shit.”

  “My family’s the opposite. They want fake every day.” She gestured back where the beer gardens were located. “Julia’s not changed. She’s lying to me, too. I asked for a picture of Mom, and she said she couldn’t ‘recall’ w
here she saw they were. That’s bullshit. She knows exactly where they are. She just doesn’t want me to have any.”

  “Why a picture of your mom?”