Cole, Page 20

  think of him that way.”

  I lowered my head, but I wasn’t seeing Carl in my mind. I was back watching Liam. He was in the intersection, waiting. He saw the truck coming, saw me, and he mouthed, “I lo—“

  “Addison.”

  “What?” I looked up.

  “You’re okay?”

  “This isn’t the first time I’ve seen bloodshed.”

  Cole winced. I caught the faintest glimmer of it before he turned and led me across the clearing to the second barn. I wanted to look, but didn’t. When Cole pulled me the rest of the way around the corner, I sagged in relief.

  Cole had begun to limp. He directed me to the driver’s side of his car. “Can you drive?”

  I nodded. “Yes.” My voice was so damned even. I wanted to fold, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.

  Cole studied me, but my answer must’ve appeased him. He gave me a clipped nod and went to the passenger side. We both got in, and I started the engine as Cole gave me directions. When we were on a highway, heading back to the city, he got on the phone.

  “I need you to check on the horses. We had to leave,” he said. There was a pause. “There was an incident. You might want to wait a couple hours for it to be cleaned up… Okay. Thank you.”

  His second call: “We were attacked. I need you to take a team; clean up the stables… Yes, it’s the one outside the city.”

  The third one: “We’re coming back. Have the med kit upstairs ready… Yes. I was shot. It went through my shoulder, but there might be fragments. My breathing is more labored than it should be.”

  He was so calm. When I thought about why he shouldn’t be, some of my control slipped. My hands started to shake, and I glanced over.

  He noticed my look. “You okay?”

  I drew in a breath. His tone was so soft, so caring. It broke more of my wall down. I jerked my head in a nod, refocusing on the road again. “I’m good.”

  “You’re trembling.”

  I was? Oh, yeah. My hands. I clamped them tight to the steering wheel and forced a smile. “See? All better. I’m good to go.”

  “No.” He pointed to the side of the road. “Pull over. I can drive.”

  “You’re shot!”

  “I can get us a little farther along. One of my men can meet us halfway.” He pointed again. “Pull over, Addison. Come on.”

  “No.” I meant it. “I’m good.” I rolled my shoulders back, sat up, and shoved all that shit out of my head. “I got this.”

  “Addiso—”

  I shot him a fierce look. “I said I got this.”

  Our eyes caught and held, and I swear I saw a new emotion unveil itself in his eyes. I blinked, feeling that emotion answer in me, but I couldn’t focus on that either.

  I cleared my throat. “Just…help me out.”

  “What do you need?”

  “I—” What did I need? My body was going into shock. I had to think about something else. “Let me talk about something else. I can’t think about what just happened or my body will start reacting. I—”

  “That’s fine.” Again came that soft tone from him.

  My throat swelled, and I blinked, pushing the threatening tears away. That really wouldn’t help.

  “Go ahead,” he added. “Whatever you want to talk about.”

  I didn’t want to talk about anything real, so I began spilling every little detail about Sia. Her men. Her job. How I hated going to her events. Jake. That he was a good lawyer. That he was in love with my best friend.

  Nothing was off limits.

  Even Dawn. How she’d accused me of bringing Sia in on purpose, how they’d bonded over something called a cross-stitch, how I didn’t really remember what they’d bonded over. How she’d stolen Sia’s phone. How she was the building’s shut-in, and did he even know that?

  But I didn’t wait for a response. I kept going. Doris and William’s daughter. Her dog.

  Did he have a dog policy for the building? If not, he should. Dogs were good. People loved their dogs. I could bring Frankie back.

  Then it became all about Frankie.

  The city lights moved past overhead, lighting our way as the car sailed down the highway. “He would just lie next to me,” I explained, continuing on about Frankie. “I was either in bed, or if I couldn’t stand the smell of Liam’s pillows, I’d sit in one of the other rooms. I just sat on the floor, and Frankie would curl up next to me. He barked sometimes. He wanted food, but I couldn’t get up to feed him. I knew that was what he wanted, but I just couldn’t make myself to get it for him. Everything was work. Moving. Sitting. Going to the bathroom. It was all just work.”

  “Here’s our exit,” Cole murmured.

  I turned on the signal and followed the lane, transitioning to the next road. His direction brought me back to reality. He must’ve sensed that.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I moved my head up and down. The shock had worn off, because now I felt exhausted and numb all at the same time. We rode the rest of the way in silence. When we neared The Mauricio, I turned the corner. Cole hit the button, and the bottom parking lot door opened. Pulling the car inside, I parked in Cole’s spot and turned the engine off.

  We went inside, and I expected we’d go to my place. We didn’t. When I started for the elevator, Cole caught my hand and pulled me another way. His hand fell to my hip, and he opened an exit door in the corner, revealing another elevator. I knew no other code would work for this one.

  Cole said, “Open.”

  The doors obeyed, and we stepped inside. There were only three buttons to choose between. He touched the middle one, and we were moving. When the doors opened again, Dorian stood waiting for Cole. His head jerked back when he saw me, but he pressed his lips together in a tight line.

  Cole sat down in a chair, and Dorian went right to work.

  I didn’t look around. I knew this was Cole’s place, but he was my focus in that moment. My determination lasted thirty minutes. The exhaustion was hitting me hard, and at one point I almost fell to the floor before catching myself.

  Cole grinned at me. “Go to sleep, Addison.”

  “I don’t know how to get there.”

  He pointed behind him. “Follow the hallway. Take the stairs to the top floor, and you’ll see the bed.”

  He wanted me to sleep in his bed. I could only blink at him. That meant something.

  “I’ll be up in a little bit.”

  I could tell Dorian didn’t approve. His face had told me when I came in, and now he stiffened and sucked in his breath when Cole sent me to his bedroom. I looked over at him, then back at Cole. Cole shook his head.

  Okay. That was my cue to do as he said. I walked around him, my hand touching his good shoulder briefly as I passed. I looked down. It felt wrong to explore Cole’s home without him. When I came to the stairs, I followed them all the way up. There was a door right ahead of me. It was the only place to go, and when I opened it, I saw the biggest bed I’d ever seen in my life.

  I almost cried out with joy. Almost. I refrained, figuring Dorian would try to kick me out if he heard. Instead I staggered into the bathroom and tried not to drool over everything inside. There was a Jacuzzi bathtub in one corner and a glass shower along the entire opposite wall. A basket of towels sat between two sinks. They looked large and warm enough to heat me like a blanket.

  I stripped, showered, and grabbed one of those towels. I was right. They were heated, too. I didn’t waste time looking for a shirt to wear. I crawled under Cole’s sheets still wrapped in the towel.

  I tried to stay awake. I wanted to wait for him to join me. There were things I wanted to say and lying here, I thought about what all was happening. Right now, men were heading out to the stables. They would clean up the bodies, the glass. They’d take care of everything, and my job—I looked to the doorway. Cole was there, his hands rested on the doorframe as he stared back at me.

  Cole was my job now.

  We’d changed. We had been
changing, but we had graduated to a new level tonight. Cole took care of me. I took care of him. We were a team.

  We were together now.

  I felt sleep coming on, and knew I wouldn’t be able to fight it, but as my eyelids started to drop, I whispered to him, “I choose. I choose you.”

  I woke and could only lie there.

  I’d shot a gun last night. I might’ve killed a man. Cole did kill five of them, and maybe that last one, too. They came, they shot Carl, and they tried to hunt us down.

  At the end of it all, I chose Cole.

  Everything was different now.

  The first time Cole and I were together, I felt possessed by him. And I claimed him back. That night had been intense, but it was just the beginning. We’d grown closer and more connected each time we were together. After last night, there was no going back.

  I was his. He was mine.

  There should’ve been a red alarm going off in my head. Cole was dangerous, so dangerous, and I should’ve been hysterical or curled up in a fetal position sobbing. Last night had not been a normal night, for anyone, but here I was—disturbed mostly by how undisturbed I was. The only thing alarming to me was how nonchalant Cole had been last night.

  I looked over and found him right next to me. His eyes were closed, those long eyelashes resting against his cheek and his head turned slightly toward me. He was beautiful, like a fallen angel, but so lethal at the same time. The bandage over his shoulder was a stark reminder of that fact.

  A shiver went down my spine. He’d never hesitated last night. He was calm the entire time, only showing some impact after he was shot.

  “What are you thinking?” He spoke as he opened his eyes, looking right at me.

  He was looking into me.

  I didn’t hesitate. “You scare me.”

  There’d been a twinkle of amusement in his dark eyes. It fled now, and he lifted his head slightly. “I do?”

  I nodded, moving my head against my pillow. “We were attacked by six men last night, and I feel like it was just another day for you. Yeah. That scares me.”

  He grew pensive, lowering his head back to his pillow. His voice dipped low. “Because it was.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek. He had more to say. I wanted to hear it all.

  “I told you about my family, but I didn’t go into detail.” He closed his eyes, just for a second. When he opened them, I saw his ghosts. They were right there, and he remembered each and every one of them. His voice grew hoarse. “They killed my dad first. He was going to my sister’s piano recital. They gunned him down in the streets. That was a message from them. They were coming for us.”

  “Cole.” I laid a hand against his cheek.

  “My mom was the next week. That was the joke on us. We thought it was done. The Bertals declared war when they killed my dad, but we never realized what was coming next. How could we?”

  A tear slipped from my eye. It slid all the way to my jawline and lingered there. I didn’t dare talk. Not yet.

  He kept going, his words biting now. “She was in the fucking grocery store. My brother Ben was with her, but he’d gone to the magazine section. He liked to check out the babes.” He lifted his mouth into a half-grin, one that didn’t reach his eyes. He wasn’t seeing me. He was looking through me, remembering. “They didn’t know Ben was there, or they would’ve gone for him. Maybe. She was asking a grocery clerk about bread when they shot her. Twelve times, point-blank range. Ben ran out the back, and they never heard him. They couldn’t hear anything except their own gunshots. Twelve fucking bullet holes in her.”

  “Cole,” I whispered. My throat felt closed. “You don’t have to tell me.”

  His hand covered mine on his cheek. He saw me again. “I do. I need you to know who I am.”

  So he told me.

  His brothers were gunned down, one after another, one a week. Then his older sister, the one who’d had the piano recital where their father was killed. They went into hiding after the first brother was killed, but it never mattered.

  I heard the pain in Cole’s voice, and I couldn’t do a thing to appease it. He’d been stripped of his family.

  I had to listen, and I couldn’t do a thing. Not a damn thing to take that pain away.

  Then he got to the last. Two little sisters, twins.

  They were in a safe house, but no matter where they hid, the Bertals found them. One sister hid in a closet, clinging to a stuffed manatee. She loved that manatee.

  Cole laughed, but even that sound broke my heart. It was more a brief reprieve, like laughter from a dying man when he reads a fortune saying he’ll live a long and prosperous life. It was a hollow sound, but he kept on. The other sister had gone to the roof. They found her clinging to the side of the house. Who would look over the roof’s edge? They had, and she wasn’t shot. They’d stepped on her fingers until she let go.

  “I was next until Carter went off the books.”

  “What do you mean?” It hurt to breathe.

  “He was supposed to guard me, but he saw what was happening. There was a rat in the family, so he took me away. He didn’t tell anyone. I lived because he defied orders.”

  “That was when you worked with horses.”

  He nodded, breathing in deep. “Carter saved my life. I stayed away for five years until they found me. They fucked up. They sent four men and circled the car, like they did with Carl. I was with friends that day, normal friends who had no idea who I was. They died. I lived. I got out, and I killed the fuckers. Then I came back and killed more of them.” A hard glint appeared in his eyes. “I took back my place in this family. My dad was the head. Now I am.”

  He stared hard at me.

  “It’s not going to work,” I murmured, my hand still resting against his cheek. I rubbed my thumb back and forth, tenderly. “I should be scared off. I know. I should’ve been scared when I first saw you walk into Gianni’s. You and those men—I knew right away you were dangerous. And I should’ve been scared when I saw you in the elevator, when you were holding Carl up. He was bleeding. The blood itself is scary enough, but it never happened. The fear never came. The only thing that scared me was when I talked to you, when I felt how much you could affect me.” I smiled, faintly. “Still does, to be honest, but no. I’m not scared of who you are. I’m not scared of what you can do. I’m not scared what it means to be at your side. I’m only scared of how much I can’t be without you. That terrifies me, all the way to the bone. But I’m still here. I can’t walk away from you.”

  A light entered his eyes. It burned brighter with each word I spoke. “People die around me.”

  “So be it.”

  “You could die.”

  “Not long ago, I was halfway there.”

  He closed his eyes and exhaled a long, shaky breath. He looked back at me, and that light hadn’t dimmed. “I kill people.”

  “I might’ve killed one last night.”

  “No.” He shook his head against the pillow. “Your shot didn’t kill him. It was mine. I shot him twice in the head. That’s not you. Don’t take that on you. It’s not yours to carry.”

  My hand shifted, and my thumb went to his lips. “Thank you for saving my life last night.”

  His eyes darkened. “You were in that situation because of me. Don’t thank me for that.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “You should.”

  But I didn’t. No thoughts held weight inside me when I was around Cole. My body was drawn to his, had been from the beginning, and as he moved over me, his lips finding mine, I knew what I’d said was true: I couldn’t walk away from him.

  His lips moved down my throat.

  Nothing could drag me away.

  A few hours later, we woke again. Cole’s elevator was buzzing