The Adventures of Mr. Mocker

  Produced by David Newman and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.

  THE ADVENTURES OF MR. MOCKER

  BYTHORNTON W. BURGESS

  Author of "The Adventures of Reddy Fox," "Old Mother West Wind," etc.

  _With Illustrations by_HARRISON CADY

  1914

  CONTENTS

  I. THE LONE TRAVELERII. UNC' BILLY POSSUM GROWS EXCITEDIII. UNC' BILLY'S VAIN SEARCHIV. UNC' BILLY COMES HOMEV. SAMMY JAY IS INDIGNANTVI. SAMMY JAY THINKS HE'S GOING CRAZYVII. SAMMY JAY SITS UP ALL NIGHTVIII. SAMMY JAY IS GLAD HE SAT UP ALL NIGHTIX. THE MYSTERY GROWSX. SAMMY JAY SEEKS ADVICEXI. HOW BLACKY THE CROW'S PLAN WORKED OUTXII. NO ONE BELIEVES PETER RABBITXIII. STICKY-TOES THE TREE TOAD POURS OUT HIS TROUBLESXIV. PETER RABBIT MEETS UNC' BILLY POSSUMXV. PETER RABBIT AND UNC' BILLY POSSUM KEEP WATCHXVI. UNC' BILLY POSSUM DOES A LITTLE SURPRISING HIMSELFXVII. THE MEETING OF TWO OLD FRIENDSXVIII. THE MISCHIEF-MAKERSXIX. BOBBY COON MAKES A DISCOVERYXX. BOBBY COON AND OL' MISTAH BUZZARD HAVE A TALKXXI. BOBBY COON HAS A BUSY DAYXXII. UNC' BILLY POSSUM SEES MANY BACKSXXIII. UNC' BILLY POSSUM CONSULTS OL' MISTAH BUZZARDXXIV. UNC' BILLY POSSUM GIVES A PARTYXXV. UNC' BILLY POSSUM'S SURPRISEXXVI. MR. MOCKER MAKES HIMSELF AT HOME

  LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

  "I DON'T KNOW THAT IT'S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS!" SAID STICKY-TOES.

  SUCH A THING AS UNC' BILLY FORGETTING TO SAY GOOD-BY HAD NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE

  BLACKY'S EYES TWINKLED AS HE LISTENED TO SAMMY JAY'S TALE OF WOE.

  "GOOD MO'NING, BRER COON," SAID OL' MISTAH BUZZARD

  THERE SAT THE THREE LITTLE SCAMPS ON THE BIG ROCK

  SOMETIMES HE WOKE UP IN THE NIGHT AND WOULD SING FOR VERY JOY

  THE ADVENTURES OF MISTAH MOCKER

  I

  THE LONE TRAVELER

  When Mistress Spring starts from way down South to bring joy and gladnessto the Green Meadows and the Green Forest, the Laughing Brook and theSmiling Pool, a great many travelers start with her or follow her. WinsomeBluebird goes just a little way ahead of her, for Winsome is the herald ofMistress Spring. Then comes Honker the Goose, and all the world hearing hisvoice from way, way, up in the blue, blue sky knows that truly MistressSpring is on her way. And with her come Little Friend the Song Sparrow, andCheerful Robin and Mr. and Mrs. Redwing. Then follow other travelers, everso many of them, all eager to get back to the beautiful Green Forest andGreen Meadows.

  Now there are a few feathered folk who think the far away South is quitegood enough for them to live there all the year round. Ol' Mistah Buzzardused to think that way. Indeed, he used to think that there was no placelike the dear "Ol' Souf," and it wasn't until he went looking for his oldfriend, Unc' Billy Possum, who had come up to live in the Green Forest,that he found out how nice it is where the Laughing Brook dances downthrough the Green Forest to the Smiling Pool and then through the GreenMeadows to the Big River. Now, when he is sure that there is no dangerthat he will have cold feet or that he will catch cold in his bald head,he likes to come up to spend the summer near Unc' Billy Possum.

  Of course Ol' Mistah Buzzard has wonderful stories to tell when he goesback South in the fall, and all winter long he warms his toes on thechimney tops while he tells his friends about the wonderful things he hasseen in his travels. Now there is a certain friend of his, and of Unc'Billy Possum, who had listened to these stories for a long time withoutseeming in the least interested. But he was. Yes, Sir, he was. He was somuch interested that he began to wish he could see for himself all thesethings Ol' Mistah Buzzard was telling about. But he didn't say a word, nota word. He just listened and listened and then went on about his business.

  But when all the other little people in feathers had flown to that far awaycountry Ol' Mistah Buzzard had told about, even Ol' Mistah Buzzard himself,then did this friend of his, and of Unc' Billy Possum, make up his mindthat he would go too. He didn't say anything about it to any one, but hejust started off by himself. Now of course he didn't know the way, neverhaving been that way before, but he kept on going and going, keeping out ofsight as much as he could, and asking no questions. Sometimes he wonderedif he would know the Green Forest when he reached it, and then he wouldremember how Ol' Mistah Buzzard dearly loves to fly round and round highup in the blue, blue sky.

  "All Ah done got to do is to keep on going till Ah see Brer Buzzard,"thought he. So he traveled and traveled without speaking to any one, andalways looking up in the blue, blue sky. Then one day he saw a black speckhigh up in the blue, blue sky, and it went round and round and round andround. Finally it dropped down, down, down until it disappeared among thetrees.

  "It's Brer Buzzard and that must be the Green Forest where Unc' BillyPossum lives," thought the lone traveler, and chuckled. "Ah reckon Ah'llgive Unc' Billy a surprise. Yes, Sah, Ah reckon so."

  And all the time Unc' Billy Possum and Ol' Mistah Buzzard knew nothing atall about the coming of their old friend and neighbor, but thought himfar, far away down in Ol' Virginny where they had left him.

  II

  UNC' BILLY POSSUM GROWS EXCITED

  Unc' Billy Possum sat at the foot of the great hollow tree in which hishome is. Unc' Billy felt very fine that morning. He had had a goodbreakfast, and you know a good breakfast is one of the best things in theworld to make one feel fine. Then Unc' Billy's worries were at an end, forFarmer Brown's boy no longer hunted with his dreadful gun through the Greenforest or on the Green Meadows. Then, too, old Granny Fox and Reddy Fox hadmoved way, way off to the Old Pasture on the edge of the mountain, and soUnc' Billy felt that his eight little Possums could play about withoutdanger.

  So he sat with his back to the great hollow tree, wondering if it wouldn'tbe perfectly safe for him to slip up to Farmer Brown's hen-house in thedark of the next night for some fresh eggs. He could hear old Mrs. Possumcleaning house and scolding the little Possums who kept climbing up on herback. As he listened, Unc' Billy grinned and began to sing in a queercracked voice:

  "Mah ol' woman am a plain ol' dame-- 'Deed she am! 'Deed she am! Quick with her broom, with her tongue the same-- 'Deed she am! 'Deed she am! But she keeps mah house all spick and span; She has good vittles fo' her ol' man; She spanks the chillun, but she loves 'em, too; She sho' am sharp, but she's good and true-- 'Deed she am! 'Deed she am!"

  "You'all better stop lazing and hustle about fo' something fo' dinner,"said old Mrs. Possum, sticking her sharp little face out of the doorway.

  "Yas'm, yas'm, Ah was just aiming to do that very thing," replied Unc'Billy meekly, as he scrambled to his feet.

  Just then out tumbled his eight children, making such a racket that Unc'Billy clapped both hands over his ears. "Mah goodness gracious sakesalive!" he exclaimed. One pulled Unc' Billy's tail. Two scrambled up onhis back. In two minutes Unc' Billy was down on the ground, rolling andtumbling in the maddest kind of a frolic with his eight children.

  Right in the midst of it Unc' Billy sprang to his feet. His eyes wereshining, and his funny little ears were pricked up. "Hush, yo'alls!" hecommanded. "How do yo'alls think Ah can hear anything with yo'alls makingsuch a racket?" He boxed the ears of one and shook another, and then, whenall were still, he stood with his right hand behind his right ear,listening and listening.

  "Ah cert'nly thought Ah heard the voice of an ol' friend from way downSouf! Ah cert'nly did!" he muttered, and without another word he startedoff into the Green Forest, more excited than he had been since his familycame up from "Ol' Virginny."

  III

  UNC' BILLY'S VAIN SEARCH

  Unc' Billy Possum was excited. Any one would have known it just to look athim. He hurried off up the Lone Little Path through the Green Forestwithout even saying good-by to old Mrs. Possum and
all the little Possums.They just stared after Unc' Billy and didn't know what to make of it, forsuch a thing as Unc' Billy forgetting to say good-by had never happenedbefore. Yes, indeed, Unc' Billy certainly was excited.

  Old Mrs. Possum sat in the doorway of their home in the great hollow treeand watched Unc' Billy out of sight. Her sharp little eyes seemed to growsharper as she watched. "Ah done sent that no-account Possum to hunt fo'something fo' dinner, but 'pears to me he's plumb forgot it already," shemuttered. "Just look at him with his head up in the air like he thoughtdinner fo' we uns would drap right down to him out o' the sky! If he'saiming to find a bird's nest with eggs in it this time o' year, he sho'lyam plumb foolish in his haid. No, Sah! That onery Possum has cleanfo'gotten what Ah just done tole him, and if we uns am going to have anydinner, Ah cert'nly have got to flax 'round right smart spry mahself!"

  Old Mrs. Possum chased the eight little Possums into the house and warnedthem not to so much as put their heads outside the door while she was gone.Then she started out to hunt for their dinner, still muttering as she went.

  Old Mrs. Possum was quite right. Unc' Billy had forgotten all about thatdinner. You see he had something else on his mind. While he had beenplaying with his children, he had thought that he heard a voice way off inthe distance, and it had sounded very, very much like the voice of an oldfriend from way down South in "Ol' Virginny." He had listened and listenedbut didn't hear it again, and yet he was sure he had heard it that once.The very thought that that old friend of his might be somewhere in theGreen Forest excited Unc' Billy so that it fairly made him homesick. Hejust _had_ to go look for him.

  So all the rest of that day Unc' Billy Possum walked and walked through theGreen Forest, peering up in the tree-tops and looking into the bushes untilhis neck ached. But nowhere did he catch a glimpse of his old friend. Thelonger he looked, the more excited he grew.

  "What's the matter with you?" asked Jimmy Skunk, meeting Unc' Billy on theCrooked Little Path near the top of the hill.

  "Nuffin, nuffin, Sah! Ah'm just walking fo' mah health," replied Unc' Billyover his shoulder, as he hurried on. You see he didn't like to tell any onewhat he thought he had heard, for fear that it might not be true, and thenthey would laugh at him.

  "Didn't suppose Unc' Billy ever worried about his health," muttered JimmySkunk with a puzzled look, as he watched Unc' Billy disappear.

  Just as jolly, round, red Mr. Sun dropped out of sight behind the PurpleHills, Unc' Billy gave it up and turned toward home. His neck ached fromlooking up in the tree-tops, and his feet were sore from walking. And justthen Unc' Billy for the first time thought of that dinner that old Mrs.Possum had sent him to get. Unc' Billy sat down and mopped his brow indismay.

  "Ah 'specks Ah'm in fo' it this time, sho' enough!" he said.

  IV

  UNC' BILLY COMES HOME

  Unc' Billy Possum crept along in the darkest shadows he could find as hedrew near to the great hollow tree which is his home.

  "Ah 'specks Ah'm in fo' it. Ah 'specks Ah sho'ly am in fo' it this time,"he kept muttering.

  So Unc' Billy crept along in the black shadows until he got where he couldlook up and see his own doorway. Then he sat down and watched a while. Allwas still. There wasn't a sound in the great hollow tree.

  "Perhaps mah ol' woman am out calling, and Ah can slip in and go to bedbefore she gets back," said Unc' Billy hopefully to himself, as he startedto climb the great hollow tree.

  But at the first scratch of his toe-nails on the bark the sharp face of oldMrs. Possum appeared in the doorway.

  "Good evening, mah dear," said Unc' Billy, in the mildest kind of a voice.

  Old Mrs. Possum said nothing, but Unc' Billy felt as if her sharp blackeyes were looking right through him.

  Unc' Billy grinned a sickly kind of grin as he said:

  "Ah hopes yo'alls are feeling good tonight."

  "Where's that dinner Ah sent yo' fo'?" demanded old Mrs. Possum sharply.

  Unc' Billy fidgeted uneasily. "Ah done brought yo' two eggs from FarmerBrown's hen-house," he replied meekly.

  "Two eggs! Two eggs! How do yo' think Ah am going to feed eight hungrymouths on two eggs?" snapped old Mrs. Possum.

  Unc' Billy hung his head. He hadn't a word to say. He just couldn't tellher that he had spent the whole day tramping through the Green Forestlooking for an old friend, whose voice he had thought he heard, when heought to have been helping her find a dinner for the eight little Possums.No, Sir, Unc' Billy hadn't a word to say.

  My, my, my, how old Mrs. Possum did scold, as she came down the greathollow tree to get the two eggs. Unc' Billy knew that he deserved every bitof it. He felt very miserable, and he was too tired to have a bit of spiritleft. So he just sat at the foot of the great hollow tree and said nothing,while old Mrs. Possum bit a hole in the end of one egg and began to suckit. All the time she was looking at Unc' Billy with those sharp eyes ofhers. When she had finished the egg, she pushed the other over to him.

  "Yo' eat that!" she said shortly. "Yo' look as if yo' hadn't had anythingto eat to-day" (which was true). "Then yo' hustle up to bed; it's all readyfo' yo'."

  Unc' Billy did as he was bid, and as he tucked himself into his snug, warmbed he murmured sleepily:

  "Ol' Mrs. Possum has a sharp, sharp tongue, But her bark is worse than her bite. For Ol' Mrs. Possum has a soft, soft heart Though she hides it way out of sight."

  V

  SAMMY JAY IS INDIGNANT

  Sammy Jay was indignant. Yes, Sir, Sammy Jay was very much put out. Infact, Sammy was just plain downright mad! It is bad enough to be found outand blamed for the things you really do, but to be blamed for things thatyou don't do and don't even know anything about is more than even Mr.Jaybird can stand. It had begun when he met Jimmy Skunk early in themorning.

  "Hello, Sammy Jay! What were you doing up so late last night?" said JimmySkunk.

  "I wasn't up late; I went to bed at my usual hour, just after Mr. Sun wentto bed behind the Purple Hills," replied Sammy Jay.

  "Oh, come, Sammy Jay, be honest for once in your life! It was a long, long,long time after Mr. Sun went to bed that I heard you screaming and making agreat fuss over in the Green Forest. What was it all about?"

  Sammy Jay stamped one foot. He was beginning to lose his temper. You knowhe loses it very easily. "I am honest!" he screamed. "I tell you I went tobed just as I always do, and I didn't wake up until this morning."

  "Then you must talk something dreadful in your sleep," said Jimmy Skunk,turning his back on Sammy Jay, who was so mad by this time that for a fewminutes he couldn't find his tongue. When he did, he flew off screaming atthe top of his lungs. He was still screaming when he flew over the OldBriar-patch where Peter Rabbit was just beginning to doze off.

  Peter was sleepy. He didn't like to have his morning nap disturbed.

  "Hi, Sammy Jay! Didn't you make racket enough last night to give honestfolks a little peace and quiet to-day?" shouted Peter Rabbit.

  Sammy Jay flew up into a young cherry tree on the edge of the OldBriar-patch, and his eyes were fairly red with anger as he glared down atPeter Rabbit.

  "What's the joke, Peter Rabbit? That's the second time this morning thatI've been told that I was screaming last night, when all the time I wasfast asleep," said Sammy Jay.

  "Then it's a funny way you have of sleeping," replied Peter Rabbit. "Come,Sammy, be honest and tell me what you were yelling 'thief' for, over in theGreen Forest?"

  "Peter Rabbit, you and Jimmy Skunk are crazy, just as crazy as loons!"sputtered Sammy Jay. "I tell you I was asleep, and I guess I ought toknow!"

  "And I guess I know your voice when I hear it!" replied Peter Rabbit. "It'sbad enough in daytime, but if I was you, I'd quit yelling in the night.Some one of these times Hooty the Owl will hear you, and that will be theend of you and your noise. Now go away; I want to sleep."

  Sammy went. He was mad clear through, and yet he didn't know what to makeof it. Were they just trying to make him mad, or had he r
eally beenscreaming in his sleep? He flew over to the Smiling Pool. Jerry Muskratlooked up and saw him.

  "What were you yelling about in the night, Sammy Jay?" asked Jerry.

  This was too much. Sammy Jay let his wings and his tail droop dejectedlyand hung his head.

  "I don't know. I really don't know anything about it," he said.

  VI

  SAMMY JAY THINKS HE'S GOING CRAZY

  "Sammy Jay screams all day long, And now what do you think? Why, Sammy sits and yells all night And doesn't sleep a wink!"

  Everywhere he went Sammy Jay heard that shouted after him. Dozens anddozens of times a day he heard it. At first he lost his temper and was thevery maddest Jaybird ever seen on the Green Meadows or in the Green Forest.

  "It isn't true! It isn't true! It isn't true!" he would scream at the topof his lungs.

  And then everybody within hearing would shout: "It _is_ true!"

  Sammy would just dance up and down and scream and scream and scream, he wasso angry. And then he was sure to hear some one pipe up:

  "Sammy's mad and we are glad, And we know how to tease him! But some dark night he'll get a fright, For Hooty'll come and seize him!"

  That really began to worry him. At first he had thought that it was all ajoke on the part of the little people of the Green Forest and the GreenMeadows, and that they had made up the story about hearing him in thenight. Then he began to think that it might be true that he did talk in hissleep, and this worried him a whole lot. If he did that, Hooty the Owlwould surely find him sooner or later, and in the morning there wouldn't beanything left of him but a few feathers from his fine coat.