Paris.
Paris had strolled in, trying to appear cheerful, but not quite
convincing anyone. His eyes kept darting warily between Kim and
Torres as if he were considering something he'd never thought of
before and was unsure what their reaction would be.
B'Elanna had been in good spirits until she got close to Paris
and sensed that he was upset. She'd settled into a brooding state,
dividing her attention between Paris and Kim, sensing a level of
tension between the two.
Neelix was miffed because the entire crew had let him know they
wanted more dishes like the souvlaki he'd served for lunch the day
before---and that wasn't even his recipe. His feelings were hurt by
the lack of appreciation for his efforts at producing Delta Quadrant
cuisine. Kes, Chakotay, Tuvok, and Janeway seemed to be the only
members present who were not off their stride.
"Dismissed," Janeway said, watching with a measure of concern as
Torres, Kim, Paris, and Neelix walked quickly out of the room trying
their best to ignore each other. Tuvok followed them. The captain
turned her gray eyes on Kes.
The diminutive blond shook her head slightly. "Neelix will get
over it. I'll talk to him."
"Do you know what's going on with the other three?" Janeway
asked. "Did Tom and Harry have a disagreement?" That would explain
the tension---and why B'Elanna was watching both of them.
Kes shook her head again. "I saw Tom and Harry at breakfast. Tom
looked very---happy when he came in. Harry was looking gloomy so Tom
went to talk to him. It didn't seem like they were arguing with each
other exactly---but they were both upset by the time they left the
messhall."
Chakotay shrugged when Janeway looked at him. "Everything was
fine last night at Sandrine's. You missed Tom and Malista performing
a duet---with surprisingly good voices. Then we had a sing along.
When they left after dinner, all four of them seemed all right."
Janeway sighed. "Maybe it will all blow over. Let's go see about
that deuterium in this planetary system." She was almost looking
forward to entering into negotiations with a new race, rather than
dealing with shipboard tensions.
***********************
If the tension had run high in the staff meeting, it was nothing
to the level it reached when B'Elanna called for two repair teams to
come to the bridge. The power couplings in the critical systems had
been replaced immediately as a first priority. Now there was time
enough to replace the power couplings in the non-critical systems.
The repair teams that came to the bridge consisted of Malista
Shadow, Chell, Gerron, and Susan Nicoletti. The moment the turbolift
doors opened to admit the foursome with their toolkits in hand,
Captain Janeway noticed an increase in the rigidity of Ensign Kim's
posture, though his face remained carefully blank.
'Ah,' Kathryn thought, 'it's not a Paris/Kim problem. It's Kim/Shadow
problem. And Paris has involved himself. Which means B'Elanna will
get into it as well.' She cringed. 'This could get messy.'
Tom eyed Shadow assessingly as she and the others went to the
Engineering position to consult with Torres. The chief engineer
followed Paris' gaze. Shadow, overnight, had closed herself off. She
had reverted to the silent, unemotional, withdrawn persona that had
kept her practically invisible among Voyager's crew for three years.
Her face was paler than normal even under the makeup she wore. The
makeup couldn't hide the fact that her eyes were reddened, a sure
symptom of either a sleepless night or a crying jag---or both. Even
Chell, who was normally oblivious to the moods of others, seemed
subdued and concerned about his partner.
Torres got right down to business. She'd find out what was going
on later---and do something about it. She didn't know who was to
blame---Harry Kim or Malista Shadow---but *one* of them had upset Tom
Paris. He'd been feeling on top of the world when he left her cabin
last night. Now, he looked like a world or a small portion of one had
landed on his shoulders.
As far as B'Elanna Torres was concerned, *no one* was allowed to
upset Tom Paris. Not given to introspection, she chose not to dwell
on the surge of protectiveness she felt toward the helmsman, but
diverted her energy into assigning the teams to sections of the
bridge panels.
There was no way for Harry Kim to avoid seeing Malista Shadow as
she went about doing her job. From his position at Ops, every part of
the bridge was within his line of sight. He did his best to keep his
eyes on his instruments. He happened to glimpse up once just as Chell
walked by, to find the Bolian peering at him suspiciously through
narrowed eyes. Harry recoiled from the enmity he saw there and ran a
second totally unnecessary diagnostic on the Ops station.
"Approaching the deuterium source, Captain," Lieutenant Paris
reported.
"Begin a sensor sweep, Mr. Kim," Captain Janeway ordered.
"Aye, Captain." He performed the functions almost mechanically.
The bridge was quiet that shift. Too quiet. It was the quiet before
the storm. Though it would take some time for the storm to build.
***********************
Tom walked into his quarters when his shift ended and noticed a
blinking light on his computer terminal. He had a message. He tapped
a few keys and called the message up on the screen. "Meet me in
Holodeck One when you get off duty. Wear workout clothes. Malista."
Well, that answered one question. She had managed to avoid being
alone with him all day---during meal breaks as well as during their
duty period. Now it seemed she might be ready to talk. He hoped so.
He was also hoping that Harry Kim had exaggerated the severity of
the---quarrel they'd had. He hoped so. But he didn't really think so.
Tom changed into black sweat pants and a light blue tee-shirt
and headed for the Holodeck.
***********************
Harry Kim headed straight for his quarters at the end of Alpha shift.
He didn't want to take any chance of running into Malista, Tom, or
B'Elanna. The entire shift he'd been aware of their eyes on him as
they went about their jobs.
The total lack of expression on Malista's face confused him. If she
was angry, he expected her to glare. If she didn't care, he expected
a show of indifference. There was just nothing there that he could
read.
Harry sat down at his desk, activated his computer terminal, and
called up his file of personal pictures. Somehow gazing at pictures
of his parents and Libby---just didn't comfort him any more. He
sighed then slapped at the controls, turning the computer off.
Against his will, his mind traveled back to the night before.
What had he said? Why? Why had he been so sure she was cheating on
him? That she was interested in other men? She had never---by look or
word---shown any signs of flirting---not since they had come to an
understanding at the Cinco de Ma
yo party at the resort. She'd
flirted with him, teased him, kissed him---'Oh, gods,' he thought,
'What did I do?'
He'd attacked her on several levels at once. Professionally.
Personally. Sexually. He hadn't given her a chance to explain. He
realized that he had taken a thread of suspicion and insecurity and
woven a whole cloth of betrayal out of it. He was the one who was
feeling insecure in their relationship and he took it out on her.
Instead of just telling her how he felt.
How ironic. He'd gotten angry in the first place because she
wouldn't share her feelings with him. Then he'd done the same thing
to her. He hadn't shared his feelings until they'd erupted like
molten lava bursting free and searing everything it touched.
He didn't know what to do now. He had no earthly idea how he
could even begin to apologize---or explain. If she was interested in
either an apology or an explanation. He didn't know that either. He
didn't know how she could ever forgive him for treating her that way-
--after telling her he cared for her---in deed, if not in so many
words.
He didn't know if Tom would ever forgive him for hurting Malista. And
if Tom didn't forgive him, neither would B'Elanna. He didn't know if
he could forgive himself.
He turned the computer back on, calling up his family pictures
once more. He studied his mother's smiling face. She was the people
person. She always knew how to make everyone feel welcome in her
home. She always knew how to help people who were hurting. Harry
felt tears welling in his eyes. He'd never missed his mother more
than he did at this moment. "Mom," he whispered, "what do I do now?"
As he expected, no easy answer came to him.
***********************
The holodeck was on a privacy lockout. Entry was authorized only
to Tom Paris, B'Elanna Torres, and Malista Shadow. Tom entered and
immediately felt his jaw drop with amazed joy. "Wow!" His azure eyes
widened to their limits as he took in the atmosphere and setting.
It was a circus. He'd helped Malista with the parameters of the
program, but he hadn't expected this! It was incredible! The
interior of the big tent seemed to stretch on forever. The ground was
covered with sawdust, lending an authentic smell and feel to the
illusion. Even in the 24th century, circuses still used sawdust---
partly because it was a tradition, partly because every circus still
had animal acts---and not all of them were completely housebroken.
The sawdust facilitated clean ups.
The center ring of the circus had a huge net stretched across
it. Tom's gaze drifted upward as he heard a whistle. There a bar
suspended between two long ropes was swinging back and forth at least
one hundred feet above the ground. Dangling upside down by her knees
from the bar, was Malista Shadow wearing green sparkly tights.
"What are you doing?" Tom shouted.
"I'm the daring young girl on the flying trapeze!" she retorted.
"Watch this!"
Tom's eyes caught a flurry of motion on the other side of the
rigging. B'Elanna Torres, wearing red sparkly tights, was holding
another trapeze and launching herself into flight. As she reached
the center, she let go of the bar, spun in midair, and stretched to
reach Malista's waiting hands. She missed.
"Argh!" she growled as she fell and bounced into the net far
below. She rolled to the edge of the net, grasped it and flipped
herself over to land on the floor.
Tom applauded. "You did that like an expert!" He really liked
those tights---and red was definitely B'Elanna's color.
Torres frowned at him impatiently. "I wasn't supposed to miss!"
"I meant the dismount," Tom explained, leaning forward to place
a soft kiss on her cheek. "That's just how they do it at the circus."
"Oh." Torres looked up at Malista who was now sitting on the
trapeze bar, still swinging. "What did I do wrong?"
"It's all in the timing," Shadow shouted. "If you time it right,
you don't have to reach. I grab your wrists. You don't have to grab
for mine. You want to try it, Tom?"
Paris waggled his brows at Torres. "Show me how?"
"Sure. Come on, Flyboy! Up the ladder!" The half Klingon charged
up as if leading an assault.
Tom grinned and followed her. "I'd follow you anywhere."
Especially if she was wearing those tights!
Malista had dismounted and was standing on the rigging on the
opposite side. "Okay. Now try something simple to start. You start
swinging on that trapeze and I'll send you this one. When they meet
in the middle, switch trapezes."
Tom looked a little dubious, but game to try anything once. He
got a good grip on the trapeze and pushed off.
"Pump your legs. You need to get some height!" Malista
instructed. "That's better. Okay. Here it comes. Take your time."
The second trapeze came within reach. Tom released, turned, and
grabbed, making the switch clumsily but making it nonetheless. He
swung over toward Malista's perch. She reached out and helped pull
him up on her platform. "Hi! That was pretty good---for an amateur."
His eyes met hers. "Are you okay?"
She didn't pretend not to know what he was talking about. "Not
now. I will be. But not now. And no, I don't want to talk about it."
He nodded slowly, his eyes steady on hers. They communicated
without words. He knew she was hurting. It seemed Harry had dealt her
a deep, hurtful blow. Tom couldn't begin to guess at the depth of the
didn't want his help right now. She needed to deal with it herself.
The offer of help and the rejection of it took place in less than ten
seconds.
"Hey!" B'Elanna shouted. "Let's try that catch again!"
Tom smiled. "She's not the most patient student. Are you sure
you want to teach her how to fly?"
Malista forced a small smile. "She'll love the exercise---and
the challenge. It's not as easy as it looks. Just don't turn it into
a competition." She turned her attention back to Torres. "Okay. Let
me start, then you match your rhythm to mine. Remember we have to
reach the apex at the same time."
Torres waved to show she understood. Malista latched onto the
trapeze and began to swing. This time Torres made it---barely.
Malista grabbed her wrists and held on tightly, swinging her up to
join Tom on the platform.
"This is great!" B'Elanna said exuberantly, hugging the pilot.
"How does she know this? I thought circuses had pretty much
disappeared."
Tom grinned at her enthusiasm. "On Earth, yes. Not in the colony
worlds and outer systems. Lots of traveling circuses in the outpost
areas where entertainment is scarce. Malista's family were the---
Malista! What was your family's act called?"
Malista was standing on the trapeze bar, pumping her legs to get
moving faster and higher. "The Flying Petrides! Specializing in the
trapeze and high wire!"
"Her family were olive farmers---evidentl
y olives and the oil
are still a big part of Greek cuisine---and during the off-season,
they toured with a circus on their colony world. Malista's been
flying---that's what they call this---since she was four!" Tom
explained. "Hey, show B'Elanna the double! Or have you forgotten
how?" he taunted.
Malista stuck her tongue out at him. "Computer, add holographic
partner, Shadow program seven, subroutine five."
A holographic muscle man wearing white tights suddenly appeared
on the platform next to Tom and B'Elanna. He snatched the other
trapeze and swung himself up on it. He began pumping then dropped
till his knees were holding the bar. His hands outstretched. Malista
matched his tempo. At the top of her swing, she quickly released the
bar, spun in the air head over heels---not twice, but three times---
and grabbed the man's wrists. She was grinning as he swung her up to
join Tom and B'Elanna.
"Show off," Tom muttered, with a mock frown. "I bet I could do
that!"
Both women raised skeptical eyebrows at him.
"Not now," he added. "I plan to work my way up to it." He
noticed that Shadow was unconsciously rubbing her shoulder. "Did you
overdo it?"
She dropped her hand. "Yeah. I've been here about thirty
minutes. Maybe it was pushing it to do a triple. The doctor said to
work my way up to strenuous exercise---but I just got excited. It's
been so long. I missed the---freedom, the feeling of flying."
"Well, you've probably had enough exercise for now," Tom peered
down at the sawdust floor. "How do we get down from here?"
B'Elanna grinned smugly. "You could go down the ladder---but
that's boring."
"Oh, well, how else---" Tom began.
Torres pushed him off the platform. He yelled "Torres!" in an
extended yodel all the way down. He bounced in the center of the net
and lay there, still amazed at the sensation. That was almost like
free fall. But without the queasiness. He wanted to do it again.
"Tom! You have to move! You saw how B'Elanna did it."
Tom shook his head ruefully as he rolled off the net. One thing
about B'Elanna Torres---he'd never be bored with her around.
B'Elanna followed him, bouncing in the net and rolling off like
a pro.