Snow Angels, Page 6

my body. My friend is in the hospital, awaiting open surgery. And there is a chance that he will die. I knew Charles was sick. But then he stopped talking to me. I didn't know what to think of that. I am so confused. Let me call Jena and see if she is up. I need to talk to someone. This is crazy.

  "Hello?"

  "Hey, Jena, um... you busy?"

  "No, what's up girl?"

  " Girl, I just heard from Charles’s brother and he told me he is in the hospital. They found a tumor inside his head, his brain and they are going to perform surgery in the morning.'

  "Oh wow! Girl, slow down. And I remember you telling me that he was sick and.."

  "Should I go down there? His brother told me that Charles kept asking for me."

  "Um... girl, it’s up to you. What if he dies?"

  "Jena, please..."

  "I am just asking. At least you would have seen him. If you decide to go down there, please let me know. Be careful."

  Heart racing.

  Quickly running to my cold car, I turn the key ignition. My car growls with hesitation, but she eventually starts. I need to hurry and get down to the hospital. I don't want to go down there by myself. I need to find someone to ride with me. Maybe my cousin Darrell. We are really close and he is always there for me when I need him.

  "Hello"

  "Hey, D, um, are you busy?"

  "No, not really? I was about to go to sleep. What's wrong, you sound like you are about to cry."

  "Yeah, I need you to ride with me down to the hospital. Charles is in the hospital. I’ll explain

  later on the way there.."

  "Um, ok, I’ll be ready."

  Pulling up to Darrell's apartment, he quickly comes outside and jumps in my car.

  "You want me to drive?"

  "No, I need to drive, or I will go crazy. I need focus on something."

  "Um ok."

  On the way to the hospital, Darrell and I talk about my history with love. Darrell forever says I always give my all to men who clearly don't deserve it. But I notice that he didn't say one thing about me visiting Charles on the way to the hospital downtown. I am so sure that he is going to bash me for doing this. Dropping everything once again for a man who is not even mine. Once again.

  Charles

  Aubry.

  I need to see her. I know that I won't, but I wish I could. I wish I can tell her that I am sorry about everything and that I have been sick. I know she thinks I am ignoring her or whatever. But it’s not the truth. If only I can see her one more time, God.

  Aubry

  Meeting Charles' brother in the main area of the hospital, I feel my knees crackling. I swear I am going to pass out. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? I haven't talked to Charles for weeks. And now, he is on his death bed and I greeting him there for the final time. Walking down the halls swiftly, I feel consciousness slowly leaving my body. I hate hospitals. The smell. I can't take it. We walk into the ICU unit and my heart starts to speed up. Pulling back the curtains, a small Charles stares back at me, sending a ripple through my heart.

   

  Charles

  "Oh, um, hey!"

  "I didn't know what happened, Brandon called me earlier today and told me. He asked me to come down here to see you,” Aubry says, nervousness knotted in her throat.

  "Oh that's good."

  "Oh, um, this is my cousin, Darrell. D, this is Charles."

  "Hey man, you are in my prayers,” Darrell says calmly.

  "Thanks man, I appreciate that."

  I watch Aubry pull up a chair to my bed. She looks so scared. I don't want her to be sad or scared. Her cousin walks over to the other side of the curtains. I guess he wants to give us some privacy.

  "What's wrong?"

  "Um, I mean, what kind of question is that?"

  "What?"

  "Charles, you are in the hospital, laying for brain surgery."

  "Oh yeah that, I am not too worried about it. The doctors talked to me about everything. It will be a successful procedure. I’m not worried. And you shouldn't be either."

  Why am I lying to this woman? Why am I pretending that nothing is wrong? I am scared straight out of my mind. So many things can go wrong with this surgery. What if I die? What if I never see my mother again? What if I never tell Aubry how I feel about her?

  "Wow, you are so strong." she says, flashing a smile. Simply beautiful.

  "Yeah, I have no choice but to be strong."

  "Yeah, well, I am praying for you and I hope you heal. But about the last few weeks..."

  "It is my entire fault. I am so sorry, Aubry. But I have been sick for the last few weeks, unbearably sick and I could not function."

  "Yeah, I felt like you were being so weird. But I am so glad to know that the doctors are going to help."

  "Yeah. You are so pretty."

  “Oh Charles." She blushes.

  "What? Oh, I’m sorry, I’m in the hospital bed, and I am supposed to be dead or something."

  "No, silly." she laughs.

  I am so glad I still make her laugh like I did before.

  Aubry

  "Hahaha, silly goose!"

  I haven't laughed for days. And this feels so good. I feel like I've been sitting in the ICU forever. But it has only been seventeen minutes. And traces of those unsettling emotions are sneaking away. I quickly rewind our conversation in my head. Charles and I simply love talking to each other. About everything. And anything. But all my mind can think of is the tumor. What if the doctors can't remove the tumor? What if the tumor is cancerous? Why Charles? Why him, God?

  What if his brother didn't call me? What if I never came down to the hospital? Everything was fine until this happened.

  "Well, I guess, it's time for us to head back to my car. Visiting hours end in like three minutes." I try to say as breezily as I could to get my mind off the tumor.

  "I wish you could stay with me."

  I look at Charles. He looks so mellow and quiet. No anxiety. Our conversation rattles me, leaving curiosity of my nightmares coming true. Will Charles die? I tally up all the reasons why I should stay a few more minutes. But I need to go get my car. Thank goodness D came with me, so I don't have to be alone heading home in the rain. I command myself that I need to let this sick man get his rest, even though my first instinct is to stay with him for the rest of the night. So he knows that someone is here for him. In case, he gets scared. I just don't want to leave him alone.

  My heart is thudding again. I wonder what Charles is thinking. Or is he thinking at all?

  "I wish I could, but be strong. I will be here after your surgery. I promise."

  "Good."

  "Yes, good."

  "Look, it's snowing now."

  I turn in my seat and look out the window and watch gentle snowflakes fall from the weary skies gracefully. I pray to God that His angels are coming to watch Charles, enfolding their silent wings around him through this dark night.

  Standing up from chair, I stretch and put my coat back on, ignoring the knots of fear twisting in my heart. I slowly walk up to his bed and pull the white covers over him like a child. As I button up my pea coat, I lean down, so closely that I could smell his dewy skin. I softly plant a kiss on his forehead where the tumor hides. Lifting my head up, I gaze into the warmest brown eyes I have ever seen in my entire life. I miss looking into those eyes. His eyes feast upon mine. Words scramble through the maze inside my brain. I just don't know what more to say before I leave him. No words could come out. Feelings of pain, fear, melancholy, and anticipation are disappearing. I feel nothing, but peace. I can't pull away. The frustrating noises of the hospital then vanish and left us behind. Our faces tilt towards each other very slowly. Nose to nose. His top lip grazes my bottom lip. Our lips parting, touching. We both hold perfectly still, listening to ourselves breathing together.

  This is it. Seconds that blissfully lead to the inevitable, the unthinkable, and the first magical kiss of many. Mesmerized, I roll away from the s
ide of Charles' bed with a smile. Everything will be alright. Right?

  Charles

  It’s done.

  White light. That’s all I see. Am I on a breathing machine? Wait. I’m breathing on my own. Whew.

  The surgery is finally over. Flashes of the surgeons talking to me chime in my head. I remember them talking to me. Asking questions about my family and friends, then they asked questions about her. They were asking me about Aubry. I miss her already. I wonder what she is doing right now. The room is so bright. All I can see is white, so I can’t be dead. Sandra, my nurse, walks in and checks my IV and adjusts my legs on the bed. I feel so weak. But I feel so happy to be alive.

  Aubry

  Should I go see him?

  I am not sure if I should go see him just yet? I've been sending texts to Terry and Jena all day about what to do. Should I go to the hospital and see Charles? Or should I wait a few days? I did tell him that I will come see him after the surgery. But I am scared. I’ll just call Best Friend.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, so what do you think?”

  "My question to you is what are you scared of?"

  "Terry, I don't have time to entertain you."

  "No, seriously, Aubry, why won't you go see the guy?  You know you want to and I am so sure that he wants to see you too."

  "I will