Verruca Music
Stuart Estell
Verruca Music
Stuart Estell
Copyright © 2011 Stuart Estell
Cover design by Cody James
The author asserts the moral right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
All Rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
in memoriam Anton Newman
"Keats and Yeats are on your side..."
with love to/without whom:
Michelle,
Mum and Dad,
Cathy, Charlie, Clarice, Emma F, Emma L,
Gordon and Annie, Kev and Rachel, Liz,
Lucy, Mark O'C, Mark P, Nicola, Seamus, Sharon
special thanks to
Cody James for the cover art
Dan Holloway for being so encouraging
All feet appearing in this work are fictitious.
Any resemblance to real feet, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
ONE
suppose one fallen morning i failed to arise from beneath the frayed blue duvet that was my shelter
arms charged and electric with the needly shakiness of it all
the mattress on the floor constituted resting place domicile and protector all in one to whit the floor felt as though it might open up but the mattress did not
well and how do you suppose that the mattress prevented the floor from opening up
the mattress prevented the floor from opening up by providing a squashy surface into which the heart might sink
and god knows the heart did sink
the heart sank the arms felt all needly and the restless feet went swish swish swish swish back and forth back and forth back and forth
the feet went swish and the heart sank
the heart sank and the feet went swish
back and forth
the nutrition was refused and the arms felt all needly swish swish
well and how do you claim that the nutrition got consumed then
the nutrition got consumed after a needly shaking arm poked itself out of the blue frayed duvet and reached out to grab the nutrition from the plate that was resting on the floor that might open up at any moment but was prevented from doing so by the mattress which provided a squashy surface into which the heart might sink
and god knows the heart did sink
swish swish
by way of digression before the limits were imposed i was
what
more than i am now
what
swish swish back and forth went the feet needle needle went the arms this proceeded with the floor continuing to threaten to open up and the mattress fulfilling its comforting role
i say comforting i mean really that it continued to be functional in the sense that it provided a squashy surface into which the heart might sink
and god knows the heart did sink
and also a comfortable domicile resting place and dare i say bedding
i dare say
what
i dare say it was a comfortable resting place domicile and bedding
well and how do you suppose i got to sleep then
o i slept initially thanks to the generous intervention of chemical sedation and a comforting hand stationed outside the frayed blue duvet and set slightly apart from the squashy surface of the mattress that supported the body and being of me and prevented it from falling into the floor that might open up at any minute and
what
any road along the sedation was most effective and not unlike the warm immersion of a general anaesthetic or other miscellaneous opiate and very much unlike the strong drink to which i had previously become accustomed strong drink not being available at this juncture
in fact
what
the sensation of the generous intervention of the chemical sedation provided by the generous hand of the medical fellow was not unlike
what
not unlike the comfy feeling of my body with all its extremities intact sinking into the squashy surface of the mattress that was my domicile and resting place albeit with the needly arms shaking and the feet going swish swish swish swish
back and forth
well and how long do you suppose the sleep achieved through the generous intervention of the chemical sedation lasted
o not long enough
no
the black and bitter night came around with its alarming tremulous regularity and its flinty greeting of a screwdriver through the bonce
note at this point the feet stop swishing
the feet swish only in the morning
at this juncture at any rate
this is an important point to remember and observe and i may well test you on it later so do please pay attention young man
the arms however remain needly and shaky
as do in fact the legs which is something i have henceforth neglected to mention
the legs and arms both needle and shake arms from the elbows legs from the hips
elbow needle shake hip needle shake elbow elbow shake shake needle needle hip hip shake shake needle needle o it's a merry dance
what
o yes the black and tremulous night came around alarming regularity screwdriver bonce flinty et cetera and presented problems of entertainment for if the floor was about to open up any moment and the mattress that was domicile resting place and bedding was all that preventing a great big tumble and splat and the blue frayed duvet was protection from
what
just about anything that might present itself viz wild animals enormous fruit and other miscellaneous hallucinations not to mention the fearsome visions of a spectre i may or may not have once seen in a first floor room of a dark and dingy student house
entertainment then posed a problem
well and how do you suppose i solved the problem
o i dare say i did not really solve the problem although i was able to hear recorded music of the most abstract sort in the old bonce and found that the most repetitive sort was the best sort as it allowed time for neither thought nor for the heart to sink
and god knows the heart did sink
counting provided relief in the middle of the dark and tremulous night but not of the ordinary kind no no not that in fact the fibonacci sequence was used to great effect although it became difficult to keep track once past the first few handfuls of steps one one two three five eight is all easy enough but god knows the trouble i had with getting as far as two thousand five hundred and eighty four in fact i venture to suggest that i may never have got there although i would like to think
what
god knows the number of times that the jolly old fibonacci got restarted you would think that i would get the hang of it but it was like something new each time this due to the generous intervention of the non-anaesthetic chemical sedation several hours previously one one two three five eight et cetera
of course i could have used the traditional ovine sleep induction method but frankly the sheer effort required to imagine two thousand five hundred and eighty four sheep shambling over a rickety old gate was beyond the poor old bonce and enough to make the heart sink
and god knows the heart did sink
thus demonstrating that sheep and the fibonacci sequence are not comfortable bedfellows when taken in conjunction with the generous intervention of chemical sedation a blue frayed duvet and a squashy mattress that prevents the floor from opening up
occasionally the arms would cease being needly and instead freeze as if in abject terror
this admittedly novel sensation could hardly be classed as
what
as entertainment
well and how do you suppose the night was passed when all entertainment failed
o the night was passed in terror in the dark with a sinking heart and a dry mouth
dry mouth
yes dry mouth did i not mention the dry mouth
pay attention young man i will be testing you on this later
the dry mouth came with the frozen instead of needly arms which in turn tended to come with the general failure of all entertainment in the face of the floor that was about to open up et cetera
of course i could have availed myself of a drink of some suitable liquid although to have done so would have involved leaving firstly the mattress purpose already described and blue frayed duvet purpose also already described meaning that the dry mouth once upon me remained for the duration until a generous helpful hand provided liquid relief at some unspecified future time
i was convinced that i would never see the shed completed
TWO
having established that entertainment was required it became obvious that entertainment could take the form of tasks set by way of a things to do list to keep focus diverted away from the floor opening up
