love twice.
—Lisa Baron
Reclaimed maiden name after
every divorce.
—Victoria Martin
Married by
Elvis,
divorced by
Friday.
—G. M. Rouse
For the children, I remain his.
—Gisele Phipps
May/December…the
best of seasons.
—Julie Howe
Arranged marriage
now sounding pretty good.
—Saleem Reshamwala
First college sweethearts,
now happily married.
—Jason Pinter
This crazy dream
I lived died.
—Julian Rubinstein
Around the world in
eighty guys.
—K. C. Sanders
If it’s limping,
shoot it dead.
—Lesley Blum
We belly laugh every
single day.
—Michelle Ottey
Where’s the love? he asked,
confused.
—Jessica Yu
Baseball is much better
without you.
—Nicole Phillips
Smooches cause
bruises
but also
papooses.
—David Nadelberg
Once cute stubble,
now scraggly beard.
—Debra Thurston
Obsession with garlic unhelpful,
I’ve learned.
—Nathaniel Rich
Happy enough…was her
tentative reply.
—Salli Hollenzer
He’s less tall but more sane.
—Stephanie Losee
They both hated wide ruled
paper.
—Scarborough Fairchild
We met on Halloween. No costumes.
—Dani Shapiro
I thought we had more time.
—Joe Hill
Single by chance;
mother by choice.
—Chanda Gunn
SWM hemophiliac seeks
SWF knife thrower.
—Allen Jones
My life’s accomplishments?
Sanity, and you.
—Elizabeth Gilbert
Cuddling in bed, she said
good-bye.
—Christopher Warren
People can’t want what they
want.
—Dr. Drew Pinsky
And his relationship status
said “Married.”
—Genevieve Donaldson
Only once. It was a doozy.
—Marc Mondfrans
Where he is, I am home.
—Julia Evans
Marriage is annual contract,
renew wisely.
—Kristi James
Surprise! Her affairs turn
husband on.
—Laurie Simpkinson
Bachelor visits
library, books wife
(nonfiction).
—Michael Perry
I always take love frivolously
serious.
—Xaviera Hollander
Portland, she
decided; I,
the Bronx.
—Dominic Preziosi
I trusted her forever.
Good choice.
—Nate Koechley
Internet exploitation at thirteen,
dating impaired.
—Jessie Rippel
Good sex was all we had.
—Kimberley Yvette Price
I write. He shoots.
We edit.
—Claire Zulkey
Fake agony over farts in bed.
—Jim Gladstone
Broken, livid, silent,
vomit. Still there.
Married the second
guy who asked.
—Erin McQuade Kennedy
My mother died.
You’re not her.
—Jonathan Marc Sherman
His wife offered
herself too late.
—A. T. Lynne
Two people. Twelve years.
One divorce.
—Amanda Joann Smith
It’s like my
heart has
sciatica.
—Jonathan Ames
Waiting to forget your name
again.
—Cybele Paschke
In the beginning,
I showered daily.
—Deena Drewis
No visas,
no addicts,
no crazies.
—Rebecca Caddy
Your planet: Peter. My planet: Earth.
—Elinor McKay
He is married. I am not.
—Hope Truhart
Horoscopes
were compatible: divorce court
ahead!
—Georgia Hubley
The apartment is
much cleaner now.
—Daniel J. Stasiewski
Loved. Lost.
Cried. Raged.
Chocolate.
Next.
—Jackie Childress
Arrived with hope,
left with heartache.
—Kacey Barron
Thank you for
breaking my heart.
—Mia Kirshner
Dumped me because
God said to.
—Lauren Gibaldi
Forgot why I left;
went back.
—Sharon Lewis
Marry for
love, again
and again.
—Deborah Rodriguez
Not him again!
said my mother.
—Lisa Ihnken
I left town and
died, alone.
—Eric J. Millar
Mr. Wrong introduced
me to Right.
—Amy Fudally
She knows what my
Kryptonite is.
—Matt Ruff
His country house was painted black.
—Robin Palme
Lost a lover;
gained a lawyer.
—Matt Mather
Discovered my love is in Him.
—Eboni Stewart
It helps to label
the books.
—Juan Antonio del Rosario
Forced into being Jewish By Choice.
—Mariah I. Garving
Romance remembered
often better than
experienced.
—Jean Feingold
What do you want
for dinner?
—Drew Magary
Met girl, moved abroad,
she followed.
—Cody Barkley
He loved her more than me.
—Shelby Mulhare
Butterflies still kicking after
ten years.
—Lisa Taylor
Found soul mate.
Became cell mate.
—Harlan Stanton
He preferred “fuck”
over “make love.”
—Jessica Chalmers
But his sweat tasted like
mushrooms.
—Kathryn Kreimer
He punched my car.
The End.
—Marya Hornbacher
Love plus laughter:
happily ever after.
—Dan Goggin
Tried many; selected the
finest one.
—Maria Nestorides
Worried the dog liked him better.
—Lindsay Ross
Said “I do.”
Screamed “I don’t.”
—Shawn Lea
Could not give up
the remote.
—Doni Gewirtzman
Good men? Like promises,
easily broken.
—Bill West
He still needs me
at sixty-four.
—Armistead Maupin
Her funeral made us a couple.
—Allison Joseph
My husband texted her,
“Wanna fuck?”
—Elisha Boudreau
If only he wasn’t a Republican.
—Holly Fitzpatrick
Visiting Belizean
prison, must be love.
—Jenny Kessler
Proposed under windchimes,
gusty winds ahead.
—Melissa Marlene Laurie
Second time, for
love and money.
—Ronald Zalewski
Said good-bye. Murdered
our future forever.
—Twanna Hines
Marriage coaching didn’t
work. I’m faking.
—Laurie Schmidt
Lust walked in.
Love walked out.
—Amy Sedivy
Marry me, boy, said
the cougar.
—Kat Shehata
Happy in convent.
Then grace left.
—Amelia Perkins
Remaining married despite
infidelity and in-laws.
—H. D. Driggers
He lied, cheated, left;
bestselling memoir.
—Laura Fraser
It’s worth it, despite your mother.
—Samantha MacFarlane
In his smile I saw forever.
—Aliviah Sauers
Never thought I’d marry a
mortician.
—Meaghan O’Neill
Monogamists meet at sex
party, marry.
—Molly Ditmore
Critical, clenched
husband. Heavy, heavy
heart.
—Natalie Shrock
Thought Yiddish.
Married British.
Oy! Oi!
—Rachel Pine
Preferred brunettes but
kept the blond.
—Rebecca Stadolnik
He liked me for my race.
—Tommy Wong
Still have hope. Maybe
he’ll change.
—Ariel Leve
Love, a rose. Velvet petals,
thorny.
—Sharon Haymes
We married twice.
We divorced twice.
—Veronica Honer
Love
almost
always
leads to
heartbreak.
—Raoul Felder, Esq.
I cleaned. He cleaned me out.
—Naomi Major
Love at first
sight is blind.
—Jace Albao
I came. He conquered.
We divided.
—Jen Kocher
I married three times too
many.
—Winnie Shrader
Tried men.
Tried women.
Like cats.
—Dona Bumgarner
He cut his hair:
thrill gone.
—Rosie Clarke
She called. Friend answered.
Lost both.
—Ellis Reyes
Overly romantic soul,
born wrong era.
—Elisa Shevitz
Found love at forty-six.
Who knew?
—Dixie Feldman
Leap of faith.
Shit, no parachute.
—Katherine Yunker
6'3" guy in my Neon
backseat.
—Kelly Kovaleski
You loved, lied, cheated,
me too.
—Kristin Knudsen
At twelve found soulmate,
still together.
—Nancy Miner
Despise him. Desperately
seek his approval.
—Beth Linas
Inevitably, his
obituary didn’t
mention me.
—R. Sue Dodea
My heart is
my strongest
muscle.
—Shanna Katz
Heartbroken, until
the bitch finally
died.
—Christopher Moore
Incest: Nothing was
ever the same.
—Laura Davis
Kissed
many frogs.
Finally found
prince.
—Lacie Cannon
Good as friends,
disaster as lovers.
—Shani Friedman
He told me he was
single.
—Esther Newberg
Loved. Lost. Loved
again. Worth it.
—Erika Jakubassa
He e-mailed again
and I deleted.
—Molly Antopol
Love: eight pounds and six ounces.
—Kenny Clark
Walking away, never saw her face.
—Robert MacLeod
Right people. Wrong time.
Wrong place.
—Tina Wells
My tattoo,
his name,
our secret.
—Susan Breeden
I should have seen
him coming.
—Kelly Bruce
He always
stirs my
chocolate
milk.
—Sarah Thornburg
Their divorce, his Viagra,
her insurance.
—Kathy Service
She wanted Gatsby.
Got “Gets By.”
—Beth Connellan
Therapist:
"You went
back after
that?"
—Neil Thornton
Still can’t believe
I kissed him.
—Rosally Sapla
Long distance didn’t make
love easier.
—Rachel Kramer Bussel
My book title makes dating
awkward.
—V. V. Ganeshananthan
Big ambitions. Chased
women. Oh well…
—Don Cummer
Child bride sticks
with first love.
—Erika Munson
I asked, sadly she said no.
—Judy Hasday
We were roadkill on
love’s highway.
—Kyla E. Town
It was always better
with strangers.
—Igby Kin
Replaced by a mail-order
bride.
—Marissa Jacobe
Screwed. Screwed Up.
Settled down. Happier.
—Steve Almond
Oh, I loved you so much…
—Tillie Seger
He was “our” dog—
not anymore.
—Chris Teja
Red flags all over China,