Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak
by Writers Famous & Obscure
From Smith Magazine
Edited by Rachel Fershleiser and Larry Smith
Contents
Introduction
Begin Reading
About the Editors
Other Books by Smith Magazine
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
Introduction
We launched SMITH Magazine (www.SMITHmag.net) in 2006 because we’ve always believed in the power of storytelling. Collecting six-word memoirs, as we’ve been doing for more than two years now, has taught us even more than we imagined. When Ernest Hemingway famously wrote “For Sale: baby shoes, never worn,” he proved that an entire story can be told using a half dozen words. When we first asked readers to submit six-word memoirs back in December 2006, we realized a whole, real life can be conveyed this way, too. We’ve learned about honesty and bravery and good writing, often from people who hadn’t considered themselves “writers.” We’ve witnessed how generous people can be in sharing their stories, and how much it means to them to be asked.
People around the world told us of happiness and pain (“Found true love, married someone else”), success and failure (“Never really finished anything, except cake”), and how rarely the path we start on is the one we take to the completion of a journey (“After Harvard, had baby with crackhead”). Perhaps contributor Summer Grimes really did say it best—for most of us, life is “not quite what I was planning.” We used her memoir as the title of our first book, and it was a hit, even making the New York Times bestseller list—for six weeks, as luck would have it.
The most exciting thing about the success of Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure has been watching other people re-imagine the form. From kindergarten through graduate school, teachers brought the six-word storytelling exercise into their classrooms. A reverend in North Carolina preached six-word prayers to his congregation, and a young girl in California ended her eulogy for her poker-loving grandma with a six-word summation of her life (“Look, I have a royal flush!”). An exercise instructor used these mini-memoirs to keep his cycling students pumping, and an Alzheimer’s sufferer turned to our stories when longer ones proved too challenging to remember. A composer decided to begin a six-word song cycle, and after a blogger challenged her readers to write a six-word memoir and then “tag” five friends, a six-word memoir “meme” began racing across hundreds of thousands of personal blogs all over the world. It continues to grow as we write these words.
Six-word memoirs still pour into SMITH every day. As we’ve sifted through piles of briefly encapsulated lives, we’ve seen themes emerge, from faith to hair to masturbation to French fries. By far the most common thread, however, is love. Passionate love, parental love, platonic love—it seemed to be the most universally life-changing factor for storytellers of every age, background, and worldview.
This book celebrates life in all its shades of red—a valentine, if you will, to every kind of love. But it’s also a nod to love’s evil twin: heartache. So many of our favorite memoirs, from “Ex-wife and contractor now have house” to “Girlfriend is pregnant, my husband said,” reflect the other side of Cupid’s coin—the breakups and losses that make the hard-won magical moments that much more powerful.
We’ve once again brought you a book that’s a grab bag of the famous and unknown. Both types of memoirist are inspiring, and often it won’t matter which you’re reading. You don’t have to be a fashionista to feel each and every one of designer Marc Ecko’s six words: “It never hurt as good again.” If you’ve read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Eat, Pray, Love, then her six words, “My life’s accomplishments? Sanity, and you,” carry extra-special meaning. If you haven’t, you still appreciate the sentiment.
The oft-quoted Tolstoy line “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” seems to hold true for relationships as well. It was frequently the six-word stories of complications or even misery that we found most fascinating and deeply felt. Entire books lie beneath “Teen homewrecker. Still miss his kid,” “She got Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I bailed,” and “War destroyed his heart and mine.”
Of course the happily-ever-afters have their own charm, and some of the most touching stories come from those who’ve found the secret of everlasting love. Late Yankees great Bobby Murcer and his wife, Kay, offer a pair of memoirs on Chapter 1. They met when he was eleven, she nine. “When Kay flashed those big brown eyes my way, I was a goner!” he told us just months before he passed away. “Been gazing into them for over fifty years!” Kay said, “We have opposing personality traits, but our daily dose of laughter is the key to marital bliss.”
We also mined love stories from some more mismatched contributors. We’ve got memoirists gay, straight, single, married, divorced, and polyamorous, hailing from Australia to Vietnam. An entry by sex columnist Dan Savage sits alongside one by Pulitzer Prize–winning poet Robert Hass. Janice Dickinson dishes out six words of advice in the brazen spirit she’s known for, while Chip Rowe—a.k.a. The Playboy Advisor—reveals something we suspect he’s never told his millions of readers. And what has the world’s most famous divorce lawyer, Raoul Felder, learned about love? Heartbreaking, indeed.
We hope this book will provide some laughs, some glimmers of recognition, and some moments of solace. Under the covers with your sweetheart, over cocktails with friends, or alone with a tube of cookie dough, you’ll find real life on every page. Ponder the stories, write your own, and tell them at sixwordmemoirs.com.
Lastly, we offer this six-word suggestion: Share them with someone you love.
The Editors of SMITH Magazine
January 2009
New York, NY
Offered my heart; he embraced it.
—Sue Kimber
Should have read the
pre-nup agreement.
—Loranne Brown
Not always perfect.
But so worthwhile.
—Lauren Anderson
Lost my virginity to her husband.
—Shawna Mayer
Red-eye. Him window.
Me aisle. Love.
—Joanne Flynn Black
Thought “great legs!”
Said “great smile!”
—Lionel Ancelet
Coffee, my vice. So was he.
—Alessandra Rizzotti
If I get Chlamydia,
blame MySpace.
—Hanorah Slocum
What once
were two, are one.
—George Saunders
I never said “I love you.”
—S. Lynn Taylor
Don’t trust a man who waxes.
—Noelle Hancock
Waited for her
to be legal.
—Jonathan Lesser
Lovesick. 1985.
Suicide by Pop Rocks.
—Jaynel Attolini
She got back on the Vespa.
—Josh McHugh
Magnetic attraction
fused two polar opposites.
—Phil Sylvester
He’s dumb but lifts
heavy stuff.
—Laura Fausset
Will government ever let us marry?
—Vicki Marsh
I think it was the cassoulet.
—Amy Ephron
Never forget, I love you madly.
—Alan Rader
Love blooms like crocuses:
dirty, brave.
—Antay Bilgutay
Feasted, fasted, festered, fostered.
Fisted? Ewww.
—Ben Ka
rlin
I wasn’t supposed
to meet you.
—Deborah Greene
Silently suffered
his facial hair
experiments.
—Elizabeth Minkel
War destroyed his heart and mine.
—Dr. Maggie McClure
Met him online.
Blogged our divorce.
—Kristy Sammis
Erectile dysfunction doesn’t
kill true love.
—Karin Poklen
No, you can’t have the
toaster.
—Diana Spechler
Should have listened to
the soothsayer.
—Lisa Johnson
While playing
wingman, found
my wife.
—Scott Northrup
Ten-year romance without
your participation.
—Amanda Pawesk
Parents:
“Mentioning homosexuality
upsets your brother.”
—Dean Morris
Seeking Hell, finding Heaven.
Very disappointed.
—Richard Zacks
He left his wife
for me.
—Selina Fire
Westernized
Indian
+
Sassy American
=
Doomed Pair
—Nancy Salerno
Tongue in her mouth. She gagged.
—R. F. Marazas
A kiss can write a secret.
—Annmarie Howell
He posted our
sex tape online.
—Lauran Strait
It never hurt as
good again.
—Marc Ecko
He makes me laugh
every day.
—Detta Owens
Massage parlor breeds heir
of adultery.
—Lorri Scott
Unrequited love is just
another addiction.
—Amanda Faith Moore
Found Jewish princess.
Good-bye succulent pork.
—Leah Damski
Love. Loss. Love lost.
Stories gained.
—Kristen Jones
You wouldn’t litter,
but cheated plenty.
—Jennifer I. Curtis
Sleeping, our foreheads touch.
—Sandhya Nankani
Wanted a wife. Got a cat.
—Anders Porter
My mother warned
me about you.
—Angie Brown
Teenage kiss. Misadventures.
Five-day date. Matrimony.
—Julie Oppenheimer
Married for sex;
divorced for politics.
—Maryanne Stahl
Neglect induced fatal
condition. Heart
amputated.
—Pat Wahler
I just wasn’t that into him.
—Mia Lipsit
Got the ring. Mailed it back.
—Cindy Box
My hypothalamus
washed my wallet
clean.
—Dan Pulcrano
Now married, kissing with eyes open.
—Elissa Schappell
I thought I had thick skin.
—Tanja Cilia
Boyfriend? In the
nightstand with
batteries.
—David James
He liked vodka more than me.
—Lauren Mitchell
Three marriages.
Two divorces.
BA .333.
—Ron Carmean
Leg man trapped inside
breast man.
—Fjord Fellraps
Maybe some pots have no lids.
—Melissa Gould
Seven days turned
into forty-six years.
—Harriette Spanabel
Drive-in movie was better
than date.
—Gail B. Burk
Lucky me. I found the one.
—Ellie Keen
He died. I lived. You came.
—Judi Kolenda
Found myself a nerdy
computer programmer.
—Jennifer 8. Lee
Manhattan presents countless
options. It’s problematic.
—John Godfrey
Hearts never look both
ways first.
—Tanya Jarrett
Don’t
worry,
I’ll make
myself
come.
—Amy Sohn
Lazy mornings.
Sunday Times.
Then: kids.
—Marisa de los Santos
I loved the idea of you.
—Audrey Adu-Appiah
Alone by chance,
not by choice.
—Catherine Lanser
—Darcy Totten
Her beautiful eyes…
my guiding light!
—Bobby Murcer
He’s velcro, I’m teflon…
Love endures!
—Kay Murcer
He asked me to abort.
Dumbass.
—Barbara Cromarty
Became the other woman.
Didn’t know.
—Cameron Vest
Strange relationship:
we both wore dresses.
—Dylan Fox
When he left me, he cried.
—Ella Cristina
Jim slept here; so did Carlos.
—Gloria Palazzo
The one for me married him.
—Francis McEvoy
Waited out cancer;
you said bye.
—Joe Carlson
Found my ex-husband on Craigslist. Twice.
—Yin Shin
Car went kaput. So did he.
—Lori Romero
My partner in sin
found God.
—Marie D’Avignon
Moved in. No ring. Moved out.
—Melissa Lafsky
Will always follow you.
On Twitter.
—Mircea Lungu
I never said I wanted this.
—Melchor Sahagun
He wrote songs for me. Sigh.
—Pamela Des Barres
He impregnated her instead.
Bullet dodged.
—Judith Edelman
One diamond necklace later,
I’m single.
—Michael Collins
Singles ad, double wide, triple bypass.
—Ray Overfield
Left my bed to marry her.
—LoraMarie Mitchell
Last encounter:
crowded nightclub.
Ran away.
—Tom Dolby
He’s off heroin and crack—
yay!
—Tricia Boczkowski
The medication made him feel numb.
—Tori Turner
She said she
liked my penis.
—Chip Rowe
Siren wooed.
Sailor swooned.
Man overboard!
—Jim Ruland
Stalked him until he
married me!
—Tiffany Mesquite
Soulmate found in grade nine gym.
—Amy Leask
You holding my
hair, me puking.
—Diana Greiner
I’m not marrying for