How to Ruin a Summer Vacation

Page 12

 

  How dare he bring Mitch into this . . . this . . . this . . . "I bet he wouldnt even want to," I say back.

  For the rest of the afternoon, I copy the yell-stomp technique Avi showed me and Ive become quite the herder.

  At one point Ron even said, "Good job, honey. " Hell never know how much those words meant to me.

  Right after the adults leave the pens for the day, I watch as the teens gather together on bales of hay over ten feet tall.

  I walk past them until Ofra yells down at me. "Amy, come up here. "

  Snotty glares at her, but Ofra ignores her.

  "No, thanks," I say.

  Avi is up there, sitting like he was born ten feet off the ground.

  "Shes scared to climb up here," he says. "Shes got big words, but little courage. "

  Unbelievable. One minute hes trying to help me and the next hes being the biggest showoff and insulting me. It doesnt take more to get me climbing up the yellow, wiry straw

  When I get to the top, I dont know where to sit. I hang my feet over the edge of the hay and lean back. All eyes are on me. I turn to Avi and give him a little to stew about.

  "Why do you hate me?" I ask.

  I know this shouldnt be laundered in public like this, but I cant help it. I need to know, and I need to know now.

  Avi doesnt answer and everyone else is looking away from him.

  "Dont take it personally," Doo-Doo says. "Hes been like this for a while. "

  "Why?" I direct my question to Doo-Doo, but Im still looking at Avi.

  Nobody says anything. The tension is as hot as the sun beating down on my back.

  Avi barks out words in Hebrew I obviously cant possibly understand. My Hebrew vocabulary is limited to about five words. He knows this. Snotty knows this. Hell, they all know it.

  Which makes me feel like one of those flying spider-looking things back at the house. Not a spider, not a fly. Just somewhere in-between.

  They all start arguing. At once. Very loudly. It sounds like one big phlegm-fest because it seems as if every word in Hebrew has the ch sound coming out of the middle of their throats.

  Itd be nice to know what theyre all talking about. Are they discussing why Avi hates me? It sure feels that way. But theyre arguing.

  Its obvious Avi and Snotty hate me, Im so glad the other kids have been nice. Odead leans his body closer to Snottys each time he talks. Interesting observation Ill reserve for later. I wonder what it is about her that attracts all the guys? Anyone can have black makeup running down their face.

  I stand, ready to climb down from this haystack. I feel so uncomfortable around Avi and Snotty

  "You want to come on a camping trip with us?" Doo-Doo asks.

  My eyebrows furrow. Before I can answer, Avi interrupts me.

  "Mah-pee-tome!" Avi says to Doo-Doo.

  "Llama-low?" Doo-Doo says back to his friend.

  "Hello? Why dont you speak English?" I finally say. "Dont you realize its rude to talk privately while Im right in front of you?"

  Ofra leans back on her elbows and nods her head. "She has a point. "

  My eyes blink. I could almost kiss the girl on the lips for supporting me so much. Although I dont go that way. But if I did, I would.

  Avi groans.

  "I dont go camping," I say.

  "You said you were going with your boyfriend. I heard you on the phone," Avi challenges.

  Think quick, Amy. Hes got your number.

  "Yeah, well, I only go with him. Mitch has been a Boy Scout since he was, like, five years old or something. "

  Snotty hisses. "Amy, you make up stuff to try and look good. Whats real with you and whats not? Avis right about you. "

  Silence. Until I feel my patience snap inside my body.

  I know I shouldnt start up with someone I have to share a room with. And I know it probably isnt the smartest thing to go off on my cousin in front of an audience. She probably wont understand what Im going to say anyway because of the language barrier. But I cant help it, theres like an overload of adrenaline running through my brain.

  Even as I tell myself to keep my mouth closed, I hear myself say, "Do you get off on being a royal bitch? Cause ever since I met you, youve treated me like a piece of shit. " Im on a roll and my mouth is working overtime. "I cant stand you, your short shirts, tight pants . . . or your sorry excuse for breasts! Hows that for being real?"

  I wave my finger at Avi. "And you, all youve got to offer is a bad attitude and a chip on your shoulder. I will go camping, just to piss . . . you . . . off! You dont like it, dont go. Then you can be an Israeli with a big mouth and little courage. "

  "You think you got courage?" Avi challenges me.

  "Damn straight. I could push you off this thing without thinking twice. "

  He stands up, his mouth upturned in a smirk. "I dare you. "

  Okay, I think about it. But only once. Then I push his chest with all the strength I have.

  He doesnt budge, the guy is like a rock.

  When I hear his laugh, I turn around and jump down the piles of hay until I reach the ground. Wouldnt you know it a feeling of rationality comes over me right now. And I think:

  I dont know why tears are rolling down my face.

  I dont know why I just blew up at two people Im going to have to see for the next month.

  And I sure as hell dont know why I agreed to go on a camping trip in the middle of a war zone with people who hate me.

  God, Im in Israel, the Holy Land. Where are you?

  CHAPTER 15

  When the pickins are slim, you take what you can get.

  That night after dinner, Im watching television with Doda Yucky when Snottys friends come barging in the door. Why dont people lock their doors around here?

  Snotty and Ofra come out of the bedroom dressed in slinky, short, tight-fitting dresses. Avi, Doo-Doo, and Odead are wearing jeans with long-sleeve T-shirts.

  I dont ask where theyre going tonight, because I dont care. Im perfectly happy to sit in front of the television all day. Ive been pleasantly surprised that theres a lot of American shows on TV in Israel. Thats probably why Israelis know so much English.

  Ron, who has been talking on the phone most of the evening, comes over to me. "The kids are going to a disco. "

  A disco? Discos went out in, like, the seventies. "Good for them," I say.

  "Dont you want to go?"

  "No. "

  "It might be fun to get off the moshav. "

  If he only knew what I said to Osnot earlier. I insulted her clothes and her boobs. Im not about to admit those little facts to Ron.

  "Im going to ask them to take you," he says, and before I can stop him he stands up and walks over to Snotty. He says something in Hebrew to her.

  She says something back.

  At this point Doda Yucky interrupts her, her voice in a scolding tone. Then my aunt walks over to me and takes my hand. "Osnot wants to take you out with her friends. "

  Yeah, right. But the lady just fought on my behalf, and I dont have the heart to argue with her. Instead, I shoot a scalding look at Ron, the person who got me into this mess in the first place.

  Ten minutes later I find myself in Avis car, being driven down the mountain. Avi and Snotty ignore me, but I dont blame them. I hate them, they hate me. Its a mutual

  hate-hate relationship.

  When we pull up to the "disco," I get out of the car and follow Snotty, Ofra, Doo-Doo, Odead, and Avi to the entrance. It looks like a large warehouse. Loud music is blaring from the place and colorful, blinking lights are shining through large windows.

  I halt as soon as I scan the long line of people waiting to get in. "Is it safe?" I ask.

  "I promise there arent any snakes inside for you to accidentally step on," Snotty says, then laughs at me.

  My eyes flash in outrage as I focus on Avi. How could he have told Snotty about the snake-guts mishap? What a betrayal. Now I feel
humiliated because of him.

  "Come on," Ofra says, locking my arm with hers as she leads me to the line.

  I toss my hair back and stand in line. When I reach the front, an army guard makes me open my purse and he checks the contents. I expect him to ask me for an ID, but he doesnt. I guess in Israel there are no age restrictions for dance clubs. When the army guy waves me on, I have to go through a metal detector in order to enter the disco.

  Boy, theyre not taking any chances. If we had a soldier at the entrance to every town, shopping mall, and bar in the United States, wed be out of soldiers. There wouldnt be anyone left to protect our country.

  I walk in, and the floor is vibrating to the beat of the music because its so loud. Snotty, Ofra, Odead, and Doo-Doo go directly to the dance floor and start dancing. Avi is leaning against a railing, brooding as usual. But hes surrounded by girls while hes standing there so he doesnt look like a loner.

  Me? Well, Im standing here alone because I dont feel like dancing right now. Its wall-to-wall people, but I manage to squeeze through the crowd, heading for the bar. I need a Coke, or at least something in my hand so Im not just standing around staring at people.

  Luckily, I snag the only open barstool before anyone else can get their butt on it.

  I take a moment to take it all in. The people at the disco are wearing very trendy outfits. Theyre also dancing, laughing, and drinking. The air smells like cigarette smoke; obviously there arent smoking laws here.

  I dont go to clubs back home because Im only sixteen and they wont let me in until Im twenty-one. But when I do, Im going to have as much fun as these Israelis.

  The bartender says something to me in Hebrew and places a beer mug in front of me with yellow liquid inside.

  "I speak English," I say at the top of my lungs so he can hear me above the music.

  He leans forward and says in my ear, "The guy over there bought you the drink. "

  He points to the other end of the bar, where a guy wearing a white button-down shirt with most of the buttons undone is sitting. Is he kidding? The guy looks as if hes about Avis age, and has long hair. And its not cool long hair, it looks like its been greased back with too much hair gel. Hes probably the one uncool guy in the whole place.

  Great. Im an uncool guy magnet.

  To my horror, the guy is walking over to me as if hes some macho dude. Hes wearing a huge grin on his face, which looks like it hasnt been shaved in a week.

  I need help here.

  Snotty and the gang are on the dance floor so they wont be much help. I search the room for Avi, whos obviously moved away from the railing. If I find him, I could pretend hes my date so this guy will leave me alone.

  When my eyes finally settle on Avi, I realize hes not brooding anymore. Hes dancing with some Hilary Duff look-alike.

  To make matters worse, hes a good dancer. Not one of those guys who only moves from side to side. No, Avi moves like hes been born to dance with a girl in his arms.

  I watch in disgust as he leans forward and says something into her ear, then they both laugh. For some reason I wish it wasnt so loud that he would have to be so close to her to talk. I dont care about him, Im just pissed that hes having a good time and Im not.

  "Alio, ay zeh cusit" Uncool Guy says once hes weaved his way through the crowd and is now standing in front of me.

  "I speak English," I say, shrugging apologetically.

  "My English not so good," he says. "You American?"