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Ralph the Spider's BIG surprise!

simon morris

Ralph the Spider’s BIG surprise

  Ralph the spider lived under the boiler in the kitchen. He lived there because it was warm, dark, and most of all, quiet. Ralph was a very timid spider. In fact, he was probably the most timid spider in the whole world! “I don’t like noises”, Ralph would say. “They make me jump!” Most days, Ralph would spend his time sleeping, or eating, or both! Many is the day that Larry wasp would call round to see if Ralph wanted to play, only to find him fast asleep in his bed. This particular day though, when Larry buzzed on the door, Ralph was wide awake and came to answer straight away. “Bzzz” said Larry, “I thought you would be asleep Ralph – like you normally are!” “Oh I’m much too worried to sleep”, said Ralph, “It’s far too hot under my boiler for that, come and see” Larry wasp went in to Ralph’s house. “Phewee, bzzz”, he cried, it’s too hot even for me in here, what’s going on?” “I’m not sure”, said Ralph, “It all started last night. I’d just gone out for a nice walk, when I heard a strange ticking noise” “ticking noise?” said Larry, “ticking noise “replied Ralph. “Listen”. Larry stopped buzzing around for a while and listened. He listened a little, then he listened a bit more. He too could hear the strange ticking noise. “It’s coming from in here”, he buzzed. “Yes, I know that!” said a very worried Ralph! “First there was the ticking, then a bang, and then it just got hotter and hotter and hotter! Oh what am I going to do Larry?!” “First things first, bzzz, let’s get out of this hot house Ralph, and don’t worry – we’ll think of ….something!”

  Larry the wasp invited Ralph back to his house for afternoon tea. Larry lived in a big old tree, in a huge garden, not far from where Ralph lived. “Now, think” said Larry to Ralph, “has anything like this ever happened before?”, “no” Ralph quickly replied, “never ever before. It’s always been such a nice warm and quiet boiler, not a hot banging, clicking one! I can’t sleep in that heat Larry, oh what am I going to do? It’s so hot and noisy and clicky and….!” “Steady on Ralph”, Larry interrupted, “you can sleep here tonight, I’ve got a spare bed. When we’ve finished our tea, we’ll go and pay a visit to young Harvey – he might know what’s going on” “yes”, said Ralph, “he might. “I just hope he doesn’t chase me away!” “Oh Ralph”, laughed Larry, your trouble is you worry too much. You know that Harvey is your friend, and is only being playful when he chases you!” “I suppose you’re right”, said Ralph and he nervously sipped some more tea. “Bzzz” said Larry, “come on Ralph, drink up, we’ve got some finding out to do!”

  Harvey was a very lively grey kitten. He lived in the house next door to Ralph. As Larry and Ralph approached his garden, they could see him chasing butterflies. “Meow”, cried an excited Harvey as the butterflies playfully danced around him. “Oooowww, I wish I could fly too!”, he said. Larry wasp called to the naughty kitten. “Hey Harvey, come over here for a second, you might be able to help us with a problem”. Ralph hid under a bush as Larry came scampering across the garden to meet Larry. “Hello Larry, who is ‘us’?” meowed Harvey. “ Why, me and….” Larry turned round and round and round, but couldn’t see any sign of Ralph! “Don’t tell me”, laughed Harvey, “you and ….Ralph!” Come out come out wherever you are Ralph, I promise not to chase you!” Ralph slowly came out from under the bush – a bit of leaf still sticking to his head. “Okay”, he finally said, and he told Harvey everything about the noisy boiler, the heat and the ticking!

  Harvey the kitten wasn’t much help. The only thing that he had said was that he’d seen a strange man in blue overalls next door, a couple of days ago. ”Oh well, I don’t know who he was, but whoever he was, it doesn’t help us very much!”, said Ralph. “I know, lets go to the boiler now”, said Harvey, “You never know, it might have stopped ticking and over heating and everything by now”. “Yes”, buzzed Larry, let’s go and see. “Climb up on my back Ralph”, said Harvey, “I’ll give you a lift. Meeeeoooowww, wheeeee!” laughed Harvey, as he jumped through the open kitchen window. (Ralph said nothing – he had his eyes shut!). “What on earth….?!” Exclaimed Larry, “I don’t believe it” cried Harvey, “believe what?” asked Ralph. “Open your eyes” buzzed Larry wasp. Ralph opened his eyes, and saw….NOTHING! “The boiler…. my house, it’s…gone!” The three friends looked at one another in disbelief. There was no ticking, no banging, but worst of all – no boiler!

  Ralph was very upset. He had lived under the boiler in the kitchen for many years, and now his home was gone. “You go and have a nice lie down in my basket”, said Harvey kindly. “Yes, I think I will” wept Ralph. “I could do with a nap”. “Larry, come with me”, said Harvey, “this is an emergency. There is only one place that we can go to for help”. “I know just where you mean bzzz”, said the wasp!

  Old Fiona beetle lived in a shoe, in a very dirty old falling down garage about three roads away. Everyone was afraid of her because she was so old and wrinkly, and spoke in such a frightening croaky voice, but everyone knew that she was the wisest person that there was, and if anyone could sort and this mystery, it would be her!

  Harvey and Larry scampered and buzzed their way along the wooded path. Soon they came to a clearing. “There’s the garage”, cried Larry. “You go first Harvey”. Harvey gingerly made his way to the back door of the garage. He tapped on the door. There was no reply. “Tap again”, said Larry. There was still no answer. ”It’s no good Larry, there’s nobody in”. “Wait a second, buzzed Larry, “I can hear something!”. “It’s snoring!” exclaimed Harvey, “old Fiona beetle is asleep! There’s only one thing for it Larry, you’ll have to squeeze through that crack in the wall, get in to the garage and wake her up!” Larry wasp was not too happy about the idea of waking old Fiona up, but there was no alternative. Carefully manoeuvring his way through the crack in the wall, he soon found himself in the dirty garage.

  Larry buzzed into the corner. The snoring got louder and louder and then suddenly, he could see the shoe that was Fiona beetle’s house. It will call for some extra loud buzzing to wake her up, he thought to himself. “Bzzz” he buzzed. “Bzzzzzzz, Bzzzzzzz, BZZZZZZZ!”Larry stopped buzzing to listen for a few seconds, but the old beetle was still snoring away! “BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. It’s no good Harvey, old Fiona will NEVER wake….” CRASH! Harvey had found a gap in the garage window, just big enough for him to get through. Unfortunately, he had lost his balance and fallen straight in to some old paint tins! Old Fiona beetle slowly climbed to the top of the shoe – “And what”, she croaked, “is the meaning of THIS?!” “Um, er, sorry Fiona, er, um..” started Harvey. “Yeeeees?” continued the beetle. “I was just having forty winks when I was woken with a bzzz bzzz crash! You two have got some explaining to do!”

  Harvey and Larry managed to pluck up enough courage to tell old Fiona beetle all about the banging, clicking, over heating and disappearing boiler – Ralph’s home. Harvey even mentioned about the strange man in the blue overalls, in case it might help. Fiona listened very carefully. When the story ended, she began making an odd croaking noise. “Are you ok?” asked Larry, “QUIET wasp!” shouted the beetle. “I always croak this way when I am thinking!” Suddenly, old Fiona’s face lit up. “ Why of course…..I do believe that Ralph is getting a new home!” “How do you mean?” asked Harvey. “You said that he boiler had disappeared today?” said Fiona, “Yes!” said wasp and kitten together. “Well mark my words, you two run along, wake Ralph up and go back to where his home used to be. You wont be disappointed! You’ll see! Ha ha ha , you’ll see!” Fiona was gleefully doing a strange sort of dance whilst croaking out her explanation! “Run along, run along, you two – and don’t be so noisy next time you call!” “Er, um yes Fiona, I mean no Fiona, er thank you Fi
ona…I think” buzzed Larry.

  As Larry wasp and Harvey kitten made their way from the falling down garage, they couldn't help wondering what Fiona had meant. After all, Ralph had no home at all, let alone a new one! Ralph was waiting for them. “I couldn’t sleep”, he moaned, “We’ve been to see Fiona stated Larry”, “what did the old beetle have to say?” asked Ralph. Harvey and Larry explained what Fiona had told them. “ Well that is odd – it just doesn’t make any sense!” said Ralph. “What should we do now?!” “There’s only one thing TO do” answered Larry. “Let’s go back to where your boiler used to be!”

  So they made their way next door once more. “Right oh Luv, I’ll be off then, Cheerio!”, said a man in blue overalls outside the house. “That’s him, that’s the strange man in blue overalls that I saw the other day” shouted Harvey. “Look”, buzzed Larry from the kitchen, in a particularly loud buzzing voice indeed, “old beetle WAS right Ralph – you HAVE got a new home!” “Of course” yelled Harvey, “the man in the blue overalls was the boiler repair man!” “Yes” said Ralph, his worried face brightening up at last, “the old boiler was making such strange clicking and banging noises, and overheating and everything”…..”that he had to change it for a NEW one!” finished Harvey. “A new home!” squealed Ralph, “come on everyone, let’s go in!” Ralph ran towards the boiler as fast as a spider can run and Larry buzzed along by his side. Under the boiler they went. It was great! No ticking, no banging, just a lovely warm new house!. “This calls for a party” meowed Harvey from just outside of the new boiler – he was too big to get underneath – “Yes” agreed Ralph – “and old Fiona beetle is to be the guest of honour!”