Boone's Surrender, Page 8

  “What if it isn’t a mistake, Willow? All I’m asking for is dinner, a couple hours of your time.”

  “We’ve said all we need to say about that night. I can’t keep rehashing it. It’s just too hard.” A relieved breath escaped at the sound of the bell over the front door.

  Holding out the brooder, she made her way around the counter. “Go ahead and take the poults you want. I need to see to this customer.”

  Grabbing her arm as she walked past, he shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Willow. If I knew then what I do now, that night wouldn’t have ended the way it did.”

  She stared at him, her eyes clouding in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

  Moving his hand down her arm to grip her fingers, he pulled her toward him. “Have dinner with me. Maybe I can clear it up.” Reaching up, he swiped a strand of hair from her face. “I’ll grab burgers and drinks from Evie’s. We can drive out to the lake where it’s quiet.”

  “And alone,” she whispered, wanting to say no, hope pulling her to say yes.

  “If it makes you uncomfortable, we can go to the park. There are always people hanging around there.” He looked over at Tyler, seeing the customer walk up to him. “I just want some time with you, Willow. Just some time.”

  Closing her eyes, she couldn’t help feeling she’d be charging right back into another mistake with Boone. He clearly wanted more than time with her. They’d always had a physical connection, a spark she’d felt with no other man. Even though she’d fallen in love with him, he’d never been able to take the next step. Not even when she’d announced the pregnancy. It was a risk to believe anything had changed. Still…

  “Burgers and chocolate malts?”

  He nodded, hope building. “And fries.”

  “You’re buying?” A corner of her mouth quirked upward.

  “I am,” he chuckled.

  Letting out a breath, she shook her head. “I still don’t think this is a good idea, but who can pass up free food? I’ll meet you at the park at seven.”

  Before he could think through his action, he leaned over, placing an impulsive kiss on her cheek. “Thank you. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Drop Ty off on your way to town. I’ll have dinner ready when he gets here.”

  “You’re sure, Amy? I know this is short notice and I don’t want to impose on you and Del.”

  “Having Ty here is never an imposition, Boone.”

  Holding the phone to his ear, he stood in the corner of the classroom with a few other parents, waiting for Tyler to share his baby turkeys. “Thanks. We’ll be there a little after six.”

  “You’re welcome to eat with us, too.”

  He knew Amy was digging, which he didn’t mind. “I’m having dinner with Willow.”

  “Oh.” Her voice rose an octave at the mention of her friend. “Well then. Do you want us to keep Ty overnight?”

  He wished. “Thanks, but no. We’re just having burgers from Evie’s.”

  “Please don’t tell me you’re going to eat there. You know Evie won’t leave you two alone.”

  “Yeah, I figured as much. We’re going to the park. I could take Ty, but…” He winced when one of the parents turned toward him, a finger over her mouth.

  Amy’s voice grew serious. “Not a chance, Boone. I want to see my nephew.”

  “I’d better get going. See you this evening.” Sliding the phone into a pocket, he saw Tyler stand, picking up the carrier holding the chicks. Setting them on the teacher’s desk, he began to talk.

  Boone listened, pride flowing through him as Tyler explained about baby turkeys. He’d remembered everything Willow told him, adding his own spin about where they’d be living on the ranch. He ended by telling the class he had to find a way to keep the barn cats away from them, causing the adults to laugh.

  When Tyler finished, Boone gave him a hug, picked up the container, and headed home, his mind swirling with thoughts of Willow. He’d been sure she would turn him down, making some excuse about needing to get home. Boone didn’t let her first reaction stop him from pushing. Thorn and Del had told him if she was who he wanted, he couldn’t let himself give up. They hadn’t with Grace and Amy, and he sure as heck didn’t want to be the brother who lost the woman he wanted.

  The one catch came when Kell asked him a question he hadn’t thought through. A few minutes before dropping him at the airport, he’d asked Boone how much he loved her, if he intended to marry her. Boone had to admit he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

  He’d spent the drive home and most of the night figuring out where he wanted their relationship to go if he were fortunate enough to win Willow back. Boone knew he loved her—had no doubt about that. His concern didn’t lie there. He had baggage in the form of Tyler. Willow had never hidden her desire to marry and have children. What would she think of stepping into the role of being a mother to a child who wasn’t hers?

  Parking next to the barn, he turned off the engine, not moving from behind the wheel. Jenny had asked him the same, worried Boone would resent taking Tyler after a while, the way a young boy would change his life. He’d done as she asked—taken a few weeks before making his decision.

  Right now, Boone had full authority to raise Tyler the way he saw fit. He didn’t need to compromise with another adult. He and Tyler had a routine, one Boone wasn’t interested in changing. No matter how much he loved Willow, there’d be compromises and changes. Could he share decisions with her? Would Willow even have an interest in taking on a ready-made family?

  Getting out of the truck, he put the baby turkeys and their supplies in the barn, pushing questions about Willow out of his mind. He had more than a full day of chores to do before picking up Tyler. Afterward, he’d still have to finish his work, shower, and drop Tyler off at Del’s before calling in the food order.

  His only worry now was how to get out of Evie’s without her grilling him about his larger than normal order.

  Willow looked in the mirror, feeling a hint of unease as she stared at herself. She’d broken down, asking her longtime assistant manager to close for her, then rushed home. Standing under the shower longer than normal, she let the hot water sluice down her back, relaxing muscles tense from thinking about tonight.

  Changing twice, she still wasn’t certain of the outfit. Figuring a dress would be too formal, she’d tried on a loose pair of slacks and a blouse. They didn’t feel right. Next, she slipped into a new pair of jeans and white top. Trying once more, she forced herself into a pair of black, slender jeans. She hadn’t worn them in months, forgetting how well they fit—once she got used to the tight fit. Rifling through the closet, she pulled out a silk blue blouse she’d bought months before because it matched her eyes.

  Tugging on black boots, she stood in front of the mirror again, nodding in approval. Slipping on a Swiss blue topaz necklace and matching earrings, she wiped damp hands down her jeans, forcing herself to relax. They were meeting at the park for burgers and malts, the same as they’d done back in high school. Then, they’d been part of a group, her watching as he dated one of her friends, then another, never sparing her a glance. It hurt to think about it now, maybe more than it did at seventeen.

  Years had passed before he called, asking her out. The invitation stunned her. For a brief time, she wondered if he’d gone through all the eligible women in Burnt River and she was next on his list. At the time, it hadn’t seemed so implausible.

  Boone was twenty-four and she’d just turned twenty-three. Those months had been the most glorious of her life. They’d taken long rides, gone on picnics, fished, and hiked the local mountains. She’d changed her work schedule, giving herself Saturdays off to help Boone on the ranch.

  Then she’d tested positive on the home pregnancy test. A subsequent visit to her doctor confirmed it, triggering a conversation with Boone she wished she’d never had.

  Looking back, she should’ve foreseen the outcome before pulling up to the ranch house. He’d never introduced her as his girl
friend to Del or anyone else. Their activities included the two of them, never meeting friends for drinks or dinner. He didn’t attend church with her or do anything intimating they were a couple. Because of that, she’d kept her mouth shut, waiting for Boone to make some sort of statement about their relationship before she told her friends and parents. He never did.

  Her hands began to shake. Lowering herself onto the bed, she clasped them in her lap, taking a deep breath. Releasing it slowly, she wondered what she was doing going out with a man who’d broken her heart, shattering it until she doubted her ability to love anyone else. She hadn’t. Boone had been it for her, and that was why she’d made the decision to see him tonight.

  Her heart would always belong to him. No matter the outcome, she wanted to be around him, be a part of his and Tyler’s life. Even if they ended up as just friends this time around, she’d figure out a way to live with it.

  Checking the time, she ratcheted up her courage. She’d enjoy her time with Boone, and when it ended, she’d close the door on their past and move on. Perhaps closure would give her the confidence to meet someone else, fall in love again, and build a future.

  Walking to her truck, she stared at the clear night, making a decision. She’d enjoy her time with Boone, get to know Tyler, and refuse to become attached. When it all ended in a few weeks or months, as it certainly would, she’d walk away whole.

  Chapter Nine

  “Two cheeseburgers, two fries, and two chocolate malts.” Evie looked up at Boone, a brow lifting as she looked around him. “I don’t see Ty with you, which means either you’re mighty hungry or you’re planning to share. So spill. Which is it?”

  Boone smiled, handing her money and picking up the bags. “You know I have a big appetite, Evie.”

  Her lips twisted into a skeptical grin. “Well, just in case, I put two straws and plenty of napkins in the bag.”

  “I almost forgot.” He reached into a pocket, pulling out a folded flyer. “Amy asked if you would post this regarding a community meeting this Saturday. It’s about some missing children.”

  She looked it over, nodding. “Sure, Boone. I’ll make it a point to be there.”

  “Thanks, Evie. I’ll see you there.” He made a quick exit, not allowing her to ask any more questions about his plans for tonight.

  Pulling out his phone, Boone checked the time. Five minutes to walk to the park. He felt like a teenager as he turned the corner, grateful for the new streetlights the town erected. At first, he hadn’t thought them necessary, but Del and Thorn convinced him otherwise.

  At the end of the street, he saw the park, a lone figure sitting at a table near the sidewalk. His heart tripped, as did his feet an instant later. By some sort of miracle, he kept his footing without spilling their food or drinks. Looking around, he straightened his shoulders and kept walking, chastising himself for acting like a boy of sixteen. Crossing the street, he inhaled a deep breath, taking a seat next to her.

  “Sorry I’m late.” Setting the bags down, he allowed himself to relax, even though his heart felt as if he had run a marathon.

  Willow glanced at him, not quite making eye contact. “You’re not. I came early to find a table.” She didn’t say she came early to help herself calm down. Waiting at home any longer had been driving her crazy.

  Boone looked around, his brows lifted. “Doesn’t seem to be a mad rush tonight. I don’t see anyone.”

  “True. I never come on weeknights anymore, so I had no idea what to expect.” The aroma of their dinner hit her nostrils. “So, what’s in the bags?”

  Pulling one to him, he reached inside. “Only the best on Evie’s menu. Cheeseburgers with everything, fries, and chocolate malts.”

  She accepted the food, sliding a straw into the malt and taking a sip. “That is so good. I don’t remember when I last had one. And chocolate…my favorite.”

  “Yeah. I remember.”

  She glanced at him, confusion causing her to bite her lip, then look away. He’d remembered something so simple, yet it meant a lot to her.

  “How did you get out of there without her asking you a hundred questions?” Everyone knew if you wanted to know what was going on in Burnt River, you asked Evie.

  “Wasn’t hard. I didn’t answer her questions and let her believe the food might be for me and Ty. I don’t think I fooled her, but hey, whatever she believes, it didn’t come from me.” Boone unwrapped his burger, taking a big bite.

  The comment made her think of a few years before when he’d never wanted them to be seen in public. She’d never asked him about it, too afraid she wouldn’t like the answer. At this point, she no longer cared about being hurt.

  “How come we never went out with friends or had dinner with Del when we were together?” She tried to make it sound casual as she popped a fry into her mouth.

  Boone’s burger stopped midway to his mouth before he rested his hand on the table, then set the burger down, looking at her.

  “At first, it wasn’t intentional. I just wanted time with you alone, without other people interfering. After a while, when I wasn’t sure about my feelings, I didn’t want you to suffer if we didn’t work out.”

  She felt her cheeks flush, anger beginning to rise, but she kept it hidden with a long pull of her malt. Setting it down, she stared at him. “Suffer? I don’t understand how I could have suffered any more than I did.”

  Boone didn’t answer right away, looking down at his food, as if it held the answers. The butterflies in his stomach felt like lead weights, pulling him down. He had so much to say, and didn’t know where to begin.

  Shifting, he watched as her face changed from anger and hurt to confusion. He didn’t know what to say other than the truth.

  “I didn’t want anyone spreading rumors about us. For me, it wasn’t a big deal. I worked hard and played harder. Everyone knew it, including you. The longest I’d been with anyone was a couple months, and then I only saw the woman maybe three or four times. That was never the case for you, Willow. You were much more selective than me, choosing your dates the way I’d choose a brood mare.” He sucked in a breath, wondering if he made any sense. “You were a prize—beautiful, smart, with a successful business. At twenty-three, you had it all, including your choice of men.”

  She snorted, shaking her head. “As if. I almost never dated. You asking me out was, well…a surprise.”

  “You accepting was an even bigger surprise.” Grabbing his drink, he took a sip, then stuffed a few fries into his mouth, collecting his thoughts.

  “You’re kidding. Why wouldn’t I have gone out with you, Boone? I never made a secret of how I felt…how I’d felt since we were kids.” As if realizing what she’d admitted, Willow looked away.

  “Don’t.”

  Willow stared down at her burger, as if it were an unwanted bug. “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t close up on me. If we have any chance of trying again, we need to be honest about all of it. You can’t hold anything back, and neither can I.”

  Not knowing how to respond, she picked up her burger, taking another small bite, even though her hunger had vanished. Chewing slowly, she remembered another time when they’d tried to be honest, talk of a future. At the time, she’d been convinced Boone loved her, at least a little, and wanted her with him. A few weeks later, the truth had come out in a crushing blow.

  “Honesty has never worked well for me. You may not remember, but we tried it before and look where it got us.” Looking at him, her mouth formed an achingly bitter smile. “Nowhere.”

  Reaching over, he placed a hand on hers. “It was my fault last time. I wasn’t honest with you about how I felt, about my fears and confusion. Admitting it all didn’t come easy for me, so I hid it away, hoping I could deal with it later.” Threading his fingers through hers, he looked at their joined hands, no longer scared to admit the truth. “I never thought later would come at such a cost or take so long.” Without letting go of her hand, he looked away, his expression haunted.<
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  Willow’s throat closed up as a tightness, one greater than anything she’d experienced in a long time, gripped her chest. She didn’t want him to see the tears pooling in her eyes or the trembling of her lower lip.

  Appearing weak or lost in the past had no place in the short-term relationship she believed was all Boone could offer her. He might talk of feeling differently, but it would take more than a few words to allow her to trust him.

  Clearing her throat, she did her best to sound in control. “I don’t see how now will be any different than before. You weren’t able to love me then. There’s no reason to think you could love me now.”

  “Willow…” His voice drifted off, remembering the night of the accident.

  “I don’t blame you, Boone. I never blamed you…not for the accident or being unable to love me. Love is either there or it isn’t, and no matter how much we wish it were otherwise, it just isn’t to be.”

  Taking her chin in his hand, he made her look at him. “I did love you, Willow. I’d loved you for a long time.” Dropping his hand, he stood, pacing several feet away before turning back to see her shocked expression. Taking off his hat, he ran fingers through his hair. “It wasn’t easy for me to admit my feelings for you. Hell, it still isn’t. At twenty-four, the ranch was barely making a profit, Del didn’t have more than a few hours a month to help, and Thorn was always overseas, never even close enough to talk to.” Scrubbing a hand down his face, he walked back, slumping onto the seat. “I needed to sort it all out. As young as we were, I thought there was plenty of time to get the ranch operating the way I’d always dreamed.” He looked at her, his features showing regret. “I’m sorry for the way I responded that night. You’ll never know how sorry.”

  Wrapping her arms around her waist, Willow shivered, not yet able to form a response.

  “Come here, babe.” Placing his arm over her shoulders, he drew her close, placing a kiss on her forehead. “We don’t have to sort this out tonight or tomorrow. All I’m asking for is a chance to make up for my mistakes, show you what our life could be, and see if there’s any chance you could love me again.” He felt her shudder before a sob broke from her throat, her arms moving around his waist.