From Hell, Page 4

Immediately and without warning they were transported out of that dark Hell and into the dark wooden pew of a large unfamiliar church. Josh could see sunlight streaming in through the beautiful stained glass windows to his right and in the front. The building had a high cathedral ceiling held up by large wooden beams stretching from one end to the other. The stone pillars, which helped support the wooden beams, looked like white marble or some other stonework, Josh wasn’t much of a mason. On either side of the altar were two tall candles flickering away with every little breeze. To the left was a large podium with a cross on the front. In front of the altar was what appeared to be a men's choir. They were dressed in plain clothes, alluding to the fact that there was no formal church service going on. The men lined up on the tiered platform some clearing their throats to prepare their voices, others chatted quietly with the man next to them as they waited. The choir leader silently stepped in front of the group and raised his hands. The men hushed and looked forward. The choir leader began gently waving his arms back and forth as the men started practicing their hymn. Their voices echoed beautifully through the sanctuary as they sang a cappella in perfect harmony.

  Josh looked down at himself, touching the clothes he’d had on before that fateful night. Josh whispered as though everyone could hear him. “Are we...?” he looked around again at the sanctuary wondering if he was in heaven, “Am I...alive?”

  “Not in the same sense as you’re used to,” Driton said taking his eyes off the men’s choir to look at Josh but keeping his ear turned in their direction, “You have no physical body like you had on earth. That’s been discarded.” His eyes moved towards the choir. The men sang beautifully, “Your soul, on the other hand,” he continued, “lives on forever. Humans refer to it as being reborn into a new life.”

  “So,” Josh looked around again, “this isn’t heaven?”

  Driton smiled, “You’d think it would be.” He faced the choir, “Sometimes humans can sing the most wonderful songs.” He paused to listen, then went on, “But unfortunately no, this is not heaven. Not yet anyway.” He smiled at Josh.

  Josh feigned a smile, but wasn’t really sure why. He didn’t know what Driton was referring to. He assumed it was either something only angels were told about or something that had been told to him in Sunday school or church but he failed to hear it. Neither concerned him too much. He was still affected by his torment in hell. He still thought he could feel his skin burning slightly, he could see it in his head, and his mouth still felt dry.

  “I’m sorry you had to endure all that, Josh.” Driton said

  Josh tried to swallow. He wasn’t aware what he was thinking was so obvious. “It’s alright; it’s not your fault.”

  Driton smiled tightening his lips, “Well, you’re safe now. I only brought you here to give you some kind of familiarity. I can imagine what it’s like to only know one way to live then being thrust into a world where the rules you’ve lived by your whole life are…thrown out the window, if you don’t mind me using that human phrase.” Josh mindlessly shook his head, still trying to figure out what was going on. Driton smiled like a foreigner proud he’d learned the local lingo. “So, I hoped to bring you here, let you get your bearings then, when you have everything straightened out in your head, we can go.”

  Josh looked around the sanctuary a third time. In the pews sat a few people here and there, quite possibly family members of the men. Sitting in the pew a few rows ahead of him were two characters who suddenly stood out from the rest. They had what looked like white wings tucked neatly to their sides. Between the wings Josh saw their golden-blond hair falling from the tops of their heads down to the middle of their backs, almost hiding their white robes. They sat quietly watching the choir, swaying back and forth with the rhythm, mouthing each stanza with the choir. The one on the right leaned to the other and whispered something in his ear. They were too far for Josh to hear but whatever he said made the other smile and nod. It was infectious, making Josh smile. It was endearing how the little things like a smile can bring so much joy to someone else.

  Josh looked at Driton who also began to sway to the left and the right with the tempo. Josh smiled again then looked back at the angels in front. From what he could tell Driton and the other two were the only three angels there. The rest of the people sat blissfully in the pews listening to the choir. Others rested their heads against the pew in front of them or sat quietly with their heads forward with their hands folded prayerfully in their lap, both looked deep in thought. They needed God just as bad as Josh did. He really felt for them. Happy they were looking to God for help before it was too late and sad because even Josh knew what it was like to really need God to move his life.

  Josh turned his attention back to the choir’s beautiful music. He closed his eyes allowing his ears to have more control of his senses. He thought he could hear every note and every voice in the choir more clearly. Until now he’d never appreciated that kind of music. His type of music used to be loud with screaming angry singers yelling over loud drums that did their best to play over the even louder guitars. If someone would have brought this kind of music to him he would have yawned or scoffed at the idea of it being real music. Now, Josh soaked in every note echoing through the cathedral. The music seemed to transform him. The pain he’d endured in hell for who knows how long melted away. He finally realized how real peace felt. He breathed in a sigh of relief, opened his eyes again, and then looked at Driton. He noticed for the first time Driton didn’t have wings. Josh looked back at the angels sitting in front of them, then looked at Driton and leaned closer.

  “Why don’t you have wings?”

  Driton raised an eyebrow and smiled, “Not all angels have wings.”

  “Oh.” Josh looked at the back of the pew in front of him thinking about it.

  Driton leaned to Josh, “In the Bible you’ll read of angels who have wings and those who don’t. It all depends on their job.”

  “Oh.” Josh said still looking at the pew in front of him. Then he leaned back to Driton smiling, “I thought it was like that movie—”

  Driton smiled immediately, lightly shaking his head as he interrupted, “No, it’s not like that movie where an angel has to earn his wings.”

  “Sorry.” Josh said, finally feeling a little at ease. There was a pause between the two then Josh spoke up again. “Are there a lot of you guys?”

  “We have enough.”

  “Y'know I never really thought about angels before. Never really thought about heaven or hell either. I mean, I guess I should’ve. I just…,” he tried to think of a good excuse but nothing was coming to him. He felt almost embarrassed until Driton spoke up.

  “You're not the only one, Josh. With each passing generation we're forgotten more and more. The world wants concrete answers to their questions and science and logic have done a good job of explaining us away making room for their own theories.” Josh nodded like he understood, but he really didn’t, “Then something comes along that looks unexplainable, you'll have hundreds of reportedly 'educated' people trying to figure out how it was done but because they don’t believe in God they rationalize their findings by seeking out an alternative reason for the anomaly, usually in the guise of ‘natural forces’. And because they are ‘educated’ the world follows after them, believing whatever they say. Over time God, heaven and hell are being taken out of every day vocabulary so people don’t notice.” Driton paused for a moment as though saddened of the inevitable truth. “We're becoming myths to humanity.”

  Josh kept quiet, studying the look on Driton's face. Who was he to comfort an angel? He waited for Driton to make the next move. Driton closed his eyes soaking in the singing that still hung in the air. He opened his eyes again and looked straight ahead.

  “But then again, I have to keep reminding myself that this is how it’s supposed to happen.”

  Driton didn’t go on but instead let his comment dangle there, pricking Josh’s interest, “What do you mean?”

&
nbsp; Driton smiled at Josh, “It’s…well, it’s not that important for you to worry about, Josh. You have eternity ahead of you. The things that are going on in the world don’t affect you anymore. Let’s just enjoy the music for now okay?”

  With that Driton closed his eyes again and turned his attention back to the choir. Josh nodded but was more interested in what Driton meant. Did he mean everything that happens on earth is preplanned? Does that mean everything that’s happened to Josh was supposed to happen? Does that mean Josh had no choice in the matter?

  Driton broke Josh’s concentration, “Are you ready then?”

  “Um, sure.”

  Josh wanted to ask a few questions before he went to heaven and Driton went away, possibly for good. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to ask anyone in heaven about everything he wanted to know. Would Josh be too busy? What would he do in heaven? Would he have a “job” assigned to him like Driton and the other angels had? Does he have his own personal heaven?

  Josh was really worried about meeting Jesus. He was afraid he'd have to explain why he did all those awful things when he was alive. He might say something offensive to Him and Jesus get angry then send him back to hell. Josh was well aware that Jesus knew all the things he’d done, even those he did in secret. If Jesus wasn’t there to personally witness what Josh had done, he was sure He was made aware of it some other way. Josh was getting himself more nervous just thinking about it. Luckily Driton stood, motioning Josh to do the same, getting his mind off the subject.

  Josh followed Driton to the aisle, trying carefully not to make any noise, still not fully grasping the fact he no longer had a physical body. Out of the corner of his eye Josh thought he saw something mingled in with the men's choir. Something dark or maybe the shadow of a figure moving amongst them. He took a second look. He saw nothing but the men breaking up after finishing their set. Driton kept walking towards the front doors of the church and out onto the street. By the time Josh finished surveying the choir and the surrounding area Driton was already down the steps and on the sidewalk. Josh ran to catch up.

  The sun was still out and the city was busy with pedestrians on sidewalks and vehicles in the streets. From what Josh could see everything looked normal, if that word could be used in such a place as he was in now. He hardly knew what to expect except what he’d seen on television. He thought everything would be brighter and whiter. He also thought maybe he’d see angels flying down a ray of sunlight to the earth. Josh was wrong. Everything looked like it did when he was alive. The sights and sounds were more than familiar to someone who’d been on the streets for a year. Josh was almost disappointed. He’d had such expectations of what the afterlife would be like that it was almost a letdown when he actually saw it.

  An angel walking the other way distracted Josh. Josh turned his head to watch it gracefully follow a pedestrian down the sidewalk. Josh smiled wondering how many angels had been following him when he was alive. He shook his head in amusement. He couldn’t believe he’d been so naïve to think he’d been alone during the times no human was around.

  His amusement quickly turned. He saw, past the angel and across the street, something else moving amongst the people. They were dark and shadowy figures, the color of charcoal. Josh slowed his pace to better focus on one of the creatures. It was whispering something to the human it was following. Josh slowed his walk even more, no longer concerned how far in front of him Driton was. He looked around again to take another look at his surroundings…another good look at it. He saw more dark shapes, many doing just as the angels were, following near behind or next to a human. There weren’t many, but enough that he saw one every several steps he took. They came in all different shapes and sizes and while they mimicked angels, they looked nothing like them. They had to be demons. Josh never considered demons could roam so freely amongst humans, and so near an angel. He’d always thought if one saw the other the two would duel, or something like that. They walked so casually near one another. Was this how it worked? Is this how it is everywhere?

  Josh’s thoughts fluttered off, as it often did, to wondering why angels looked similar but demons didn’t. He thought to ask Driton but convinced himself to wait for the right moment, until then, first things first.

  “Mr. Driton...uh...sir...,” Josh hadn’t had a lot of experience talking to a celestial being before, “...I don't mean to anger you or anything so please don't be offended when I ask you this, but what did you mean when you said back there in the church that, ‘this’s how it’s supposed to happen’?”

  Driton smiled at Josh's attempt at being polite, “My name's just Driton, Josh. It’s the name God gave to me and you can feel free to call me that all you want.”

  “Oh, sorry.”

  “It’s okay, you didn’t know. If you read your Bible you’ll find it says the world will be deceived and begin to denounce Jesus as the Son of God.” Driton turned his face slightly to the left as though he had just realized something. “Oddly enough it’s taken longer to explain away angels than it has Jesus…hm.” He looked back at Josh trying to stay on track, “It doesn’t mean everyone in the world will believe Jesus was just a good guy, it’s really more of an expression. What the Bible is saying is most of the people in the world will believe this.”

  “But why?” Josh said trying to keep the same stride as Driton.

  “It’s what we call the ‘human factor’. God knows humans will do whatever they can to feel guilt-free from doing whatever they want. History shows humans have a knack of twisting the truth, thinking they’re doing God’s will. Before Jesus comes back the world will get worse, and I mean a lot worse. Those who remain faithful to Jesus’ teachings, can endure all the evils done to them, and still remain strong in their convictions will, in the end, be saved.”

  “Yeah, but why?” It was a lot for Josh to follow. He was hoping for a simpler explanation.

  Driton stopped walking and turned to Josh. He thought for a moment then said, “I’ve already told you. Many people can say they love God, but few can really follow-through. Look, have you ever been in love?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How did you know? Is it because they said ‘I love you’ that you believed?”

  Josh thought about it again then answered shrugging, “Yeah...I guess.”

  “Did any of them stick around when your life got…difficult?”

  His question stabbed Josh right in the heart. He thought of everyone who said they loved him. Then he remembered them abandoning him when times got tough. Maybe they really didn’t love him. Maybe no one really loved him.

  “Did you run away when others’ lives became difficult and clashed with yours?”

  Josh sunk his shoulders. There’d been many times he wanted to just leave when his wife wanted to talk about her job or their daughter. He remembered thinking he had better things to do than sit there and listen to her go on and on, complaining about something. He learned to tune her out but then she’d just get angry with him because he wasn’t listening to her. How could he have been so stupid? So selfish?

  “So,” Driton continued, “would you say the proof of their feelings is in the words they say or of the things they do when the times get really tough?” Josh didn’t answer, but it didn’t matter, Driton didn’t expect one. “God’s the same. He doesn’t want you to just say you love Him, that’s easy and anyone can do it. True love is shown when really hard times come and those who love you stick by your side regardless. Troubled times are going to come to the world, those who truly love God will hold onto Him as they go through it. He knows and sees people suffering. But He also knows of the eternal life that’s waiting for them if they keep their hope alive. The suffering people go through in this life is nothing to be compared with to the joy they will have in heaven.”

  “I…I guess I never saw it that way.”

  And he hadn’t. To Josh, God had always been some invisible entity up in heaven looking down on the people of earth like an arrogant overseer, too h
oly to hear His subjects unless they remained perfect, which His subjects correctly admitted was impossible. With the rest of humanity, Josh thought, He was always yelling and condemning. Pointing His angry finger at them every minute of the day as they sinned against Him as if to say, “See!? This is why you don’t deserve it!” But that was the then, in his old life. The way Driton explained it was different, and it made more sense.

  “You were looking at it from a human perspective, Josh.” Driton continued, “The world says if you’re not happy you should just leave. Usually, and I’ll stick with relationships, if a relationship gets a little rocky, people are quick to get a divorce. The world doesn’t frown on it because it’s more accepted. So love, the real root meaning of the word, loses its true impact in the relationship when it’s tested by what life throws at it. That’s not how God works. God doesn’t give up on you and toss you to the side for someone else. And that’s not how He wants humans to work. God walks through the rocky times with you. He asks nothing different from those who say they’re followers of Christ. He does things because He has an ultimate goal in mind. So, humans are tested so they can, hopefully, see what’s truly in their own hearts.”

  Josh was silent again. He thought of all the things that were in his heart when he was alive that he ignored or refused to accept. He hated himself for being so stubborn. For a moment he wanted to shake his head to try and get those thoughts away so he wouldn’t have to keep thinking about how he’d made such a big mistake. But that’s what he’d always done. He knew he had to face his feelings, even his past, no matter how much it hurt.

  The two walked on in silence. Grimly Josh looked around. He saw angels and demons here and there. He saw humans walking about unconscious to the fact that they weren’t alone. “Fools.” He thought to himself. But he knew he was just as foolish. He couldn’t help but berate himself for again being so naïve. He couldn’t get the thought out of his head and he was feeling more miserable just thinking about it.

  Josh’s feelings eventually, and slowly, faded, allowing his mind to wander to other subjects. He thought of other questions he wanted to ask but wasn’t sure if he should be asking them. He can’t be the only human in history who asked this many questions to an angel. It probably happens so often Driton already anticipated more questions. Josh wasn’t sure which was best so he just winged it.

  “Are there a lot of you guys?” He returned to the first question he asked in the church. “I mean, I know you said you have enough, but I just wasn’t sure how many. Millions? Billions?”

  Driton didn’t hesitate, “There are a lot of angels. And there are a lot of demons.” There was a pause in the conversation, “More angels than demons, just so you know.” he added with a smile.

  “Really?” Josh was trying to keep up with Driton. He'd probably have an easier time of it if he didn't keep forgetting he wasn't alive anymore and no longer had to dodge people coming the other way. “I guess I always thought it was kinda' even. Y'know, like a football team or somethin’.” Josh felt like an idiot after saying that. Comparing angels and demons to a football team?

  “You should have read your Bible more, Josh. It says Lucifer was sent to hell and brought a third of the angels with him. This means two-thirds of the angels haven’t been sent to hell.”

  “I’m sorry,” Josh still felt foolish, “I didn’t mean to compare it to a football game. I mean, there's just a lot I don't know. I never really read the Bible.”

  “Too busy?”

  Josh shrugged, “Yeah.” Knowing that wasn’t the only reason.

  “Worrying about other things?”

  “Yeah, kinda’.”

  “Money?”

  “Yeah, but...,” Josh was starting to feel ashamed. Driton already seemed to know so much about him.

  “Sex? Drugs? Drinking? What people would think if they saw you reading it?” Josh didn't answer. “You're not alone Josh.” he said compassionately. “I don't know.” He said shaking his head, “It's all there in the Bible but many refuse to pick it up or just give up on it too soon. It fascinates us that something can be right in front of you and you still don’t believe.”

  “Yeah, but it's not easy.” Josh said trying to defend himself and all human-kind, “I mean, with all the things around tempting us.”

  “True.” Driton glanced around giving Josh an acceptable nod then pointing once at the magazine stand filled with photos of models dressed in skimpy clothing, then at the strip club on the other side of the street.

  “The devil's hard at work,” Josh added.

  “Don’t give the devil too much credit. Demons can only persuade, they can't force anyone to do something. It's like pointing someone in the wrong direction and letting them go on thinking they’re on the right track.”

  Josh furrowed his eyebrows, “Sounds confusing.”

  “It's only confusing to those who’ve been deceived. Look, let me try to explain it a little better. Let's go somewhere; I want to show you something.”

  Chapter 5