KEVIN
I’m sorry. I’m nervous.
SHE
Oh—
KEVIN
Also, I’m not straight.
SHE
Oh?
KEVIN
Yeah. It’s not a problem, obviously, I just have this awful fantasy that I’ll kiss a woman on stage and everyone will be like: you know, yeah right, whatever. Sorry I just needed to get that out there.
SHE
Don’t worry. You’re going to be great.
KEVIN
Thanks. Cool. Cool.
(As Johnny) Kiss me darling.
They kiss.
He makes a face like he’s going to eat her.
She pulls away.
KEVIN
What is it?
SHE
Sorry—just a weird flashback to prom—sorry, nothing.
DIRECTOR
Let’s just—okay—maybe it would help to be clinical. From: “Oh, Johnny”—and I think it’s a five count kiss—or maybe a three count kiss—if that helps.
SHE AS ADA
Oh, Johnny. Johnny Lowell.
KEVIN AS JOHNNY
Ada . . . I can’t and I won’t call you by your married name, goddammit to hell. I never met and never will meet Ada Wilcox. Kiss me again, Ada Fountain. Kiss me back in time.
They kiss.
He makes a face like he’s going to eat her first.
DIRECTOR
One—two—three—
SHE
Okay. I think we’re good.
Scene 4
More rehearsal furniture has been imported.
A chaise, a potted palm.
The actors are wearing some pieces of costumes now.
Street clothes or jeans, paired with glorious satin tops, hats, gloves.
DIRECTOR
I’d like to just run that straight through without stopping, if we can manage it.
From the top?
SHE
Right.
(To He) Stomach bug?
HE
Yeah.
SHE
Really?
HE
Yes—my stomach hurt.
SHE
Hmm.
HE
And I made the mistake of listening to Blood on the Tracks and smoking a pack of cigarettes.
Their favorite album.
SHE
Oh, God, why’d you do that?
HE
I don’t know because I’m a total fucking idiot.
He touches the tassel on her robe and exits.
DIRECTOR
Music . . .
(The director hums) . . . and, the curtain goes up . . . and there you are . . .
She as Ada, lying on a divan.
A maid adjusts her pillow.
MAID
Anything else, mum?
SHE AS ADA
Oh, no, Millicent. Just draw the curtains, if you would.
(As herself) Why is everyone in this play called Millicent?
The maid draws the curtains.
DIRECTOR
(Overlapping) Keep going—
SHE AS ADA
Thank you, you’re such a dear. Millicent.
MAID
The doctor is here to see you, ma’am.
SHE AS ADA
Send him in.
The husband enters.
HUSBAND
Feeling better after a nap, darling?
SHE AS ADA
I’m clean wiped out.
The doctor enters.
She sits up.
SHE AS ADA
Hello, Doctor.
KEVIN AS DOCTOR
Mrs. Wilcox. Mr. Wilcox. We’ve done some tests, and . . .
SHE AS ADA
What is it, Doctor?
KEVIN AS DOCTOR
Well, I’m afraid the news is not good.
SHE AS ADA
Tell me straight away, I’m a strong lady. You should see me run in heels.
She laughs, mordantly.
Everyone looks at her.
SHE
It says, “She laughs, mordantly.”
DIRECTOR
I’ve crossed out all the stage directions.
SHE
Oh.
KEVIN AS DOCTOR
Mrs. Wilcox, I’m afraid you have—Johnson’s disease.
SHE AS ADA
Johnson’s disease?
KEVIN AS DOCTOR
Johnson’s disease.
SHE AS ADA
My disease is named after someone? That’s better than having an unnamed disease, isn’t it? Ha ha.
She laughs. No one else laughs.
SHE
That was a hollow laugh.
DIRECTOR
Right. Good.
HUSBAND
But what does it mean, Doctor? Will she have to alter her way of life?
KEVIN AS DOCTOR
Mr. Wilcox . . . Mrs. Wilcox . . .
SHE AS ADA
Yes.
KEVIN AS DOCTOR
I don’t know how to tell you this . . . you haven’t got very much time.
SHE AS ADA
I have all the time in the world! Haven’t I?
(Looking around wildly, to her husband)
Haven’t we, darling?
KEVIN AS DOCTOR
I’m afraid not.
SHE AS ADA
Doctor, you’ve been a friend to our family for years—be a friend now: Lie to us, then leave. Will I have to alter my way of life?
KEVIN AS DOCTOR
No. It’s only that—you should do whatever it is that you would like to do, for the next month.
SHE AS ADA
The next month?
KEVIN AS DOCTOR
That’s right.
SHE AS ADA
Am I to die in August?
Why die in August when you could die in the spring? Or a Christmas death would be economical, all the furs you wouldn’t have to buy for me?
The men look down, solemn.
SHE AS ADA
No one has a sense of humor today, I see. Thank you for coming, Doctor.
KEVIN AS DOCTOR
Thank you. Mrs. Wilcox—take care of yourself.
SHE AS ADA
Why you take care of yourself, Doctor, doctors always forget to take care of themselves.
He exits.
She turns to her husband.
She bursts into tears.
HUSBAND
You put a brave face on it, darling.
SHE AS ADA
August? August? Why Millie only gets home from Paris in two weeks . . . August?
She sobs on her husband’s chest. He watches.
HUSBAND
I will take good care of you, darling, never you fear.
SHE AS ADA
I am not afraid.
HUSBAND
My brave darling.
What can I get you? What can I give you?
Shall we go home—to your parents’ house, to Seaberry farm? The fresh Midwestern air might do you good. What would you like? Anything, anything?
(As himself) Too much?
DIRECTOR
We can calibrate the style after the first preview.
Trust your instincts for now.
HUSBAND
Anything, anything!
SHE AS ADA
No, no, I want to stay here, at home.
HUSBAND
I’ll quit my job.
SHE AS ADA
No, no, everything must go on as usual. It must. You must get up every morning, and put on that silly suit and tie and go to work. You must do that for me.
HUSBAND
(In low tones) Then I shall.
A pause.
SHE AS ADA
There’s only one thing.
HUSBAND
What is it darling?
SHE AS ADA
I have to—
I have to see Johnny Lowell before I die. (The husband turns away
. And turns back)
I never said good-bye. We ended things so badly. Will you do that for me? I know how you must hate the sight of him. But I must see him. I must—say good-bye.
HUSBAND
Anything, dear.
SHE AS ADA
Will you cable him?
HUSBAND
Yes.
SHE AS ADA
I believe he’s in Sweden. Doing a sculpture—a very large one— I’ve no idea. But cable him, will you? That’s the only thing I ask of you. That—and to behave as though nothing at all is the matter. We won’t tell Millie. She shouldn’t be thinking of death and disease on her first European tour.
HUSBAND
I can’t bear it.
SHE AS ADA
Stiff upper lip, darling. I don’t feel so bad. (She coughs loudly) (As herself) Too much?
(She as Ada, coughs softly) Just a little weak, is all. Let’s do all the things we used to do. Let’s trip the light fantastic. Remember that old song we used to sing?
They sing; she starts and the husband joins.
SHE AS ADA/HUSBAND
Can we live on love and cereal?
Only in the rain . . .
Is the moon all that ethereal
In Italy or Spain—
Will you come up to my room—
Tie a staircase to the moon—
I suppose it’s immaterial
Cuz it’s you you you you you . . .
DIRECTOR
Good. Scene Two!
SHE
Notes?
DIRECTOR
I don’t think so. No. Not at this point.
SHE
Are you sure? I’d be happy for some guidance.
DIRECTOR
Premature!
I want to press on—for momentum.
The arrival of Johnny Lowell.
The maid enters.
MAID
Madam: Johnny Lowell has arrived.
Johnny Lowell enters.
SHE AS ADA
Is it you?
HE AS JOHNNY
Ada, my God, Ada.
She swoons a little.
HE AS JOHNNY
Ada, you’re not well. Lie down.
SHE AS ADA
I’m fine, Johnny, just a little tired is all.
HE AS JOHNNY
Here, on the divan . . .
(As himself, trying a different pronunciation) Divan? Divan.
(As Johnny) I’ll lie next to you.
He lies on the divan with her and holds her hand.
HE AS JOHNNY
This is how it was. Exactly how it was. When we were eighteen, and had our lives in front of us . . .
He moves to kiss her.
SHE AS ADA
Johnny, I’m a married woman now . . .
HE AS JOHNNY
You told me to come.
SHE AS ADA
Yes.
HE AS JOHNNY
Death and marriage are nothing to us. You know that. Kiss me.
Almost kissing her.
SHE AS ADA
It is as though no time had passed! As though we were still standing on that dock . . . But, Johnny, you must know—
I can’t betray him—
HE AS JOHNNY
I always said you would end up with a man with a briefcase. I knew that, even when we began our doomed romance.
HE
Can we cut the word doomed?
DIRECTOR
I don’t think the estate of Erbmann, Landor and Marmel would let us change it. They’re very particular. I could hardly get the rights for New Haven.
HE
Isn’t a bad sign when three people wrote a play? I mean if two people wrote it, it’s one thing, but three, come on, three?
DIRECTOR
Just try it.
HE
Okay.
(As Johnny) I always said you would end up with a man with a briefcase. I knew that, even when we began our doomed romance. But don’t tell me you’ve become conventional, darling—kiss me—one last kiss . . .
That’s what I came for, isn’t it? One last kiss. You’re as beautiful as the day I met you.
SHE AS ADA
Am I?
HE AS JOHNNY
(Very sincerely, dropping out of character, slightly) Yes, only I wish I’d put these lines on your face myself. Each one.
He traces the lines on her face, tenderly.
They kiss.
SHE AS ADA
Oh, Johnny!
HE
Line—
DIRECTOR
“Let me take you to Sweden—”
HE AS JOHNNY
(Overlapping) Let me take you to Sweden. You should die in a place where the trees are higher than the buildings.
SHE AS ADA
No, I prefer to die where the buildings are higher than the trees. I’m a city girl. I like to be perched high above everything—so I can see.
HE AS JOHNNY
Above everything—including people.
SHE AS ADA
What’s that supposed to mean?
HE AS JOHNNY
(Talking as both Johnny and He) It was as though you were always perched above me, taking in the view, you couldn’t even see my face.
SHE
(Not her line at all) Seriously? I saw your face!
What?
Line?
DIRECTOR
“I can’t help it if you aren’t very tall.”
SHE AS ADA
I can’t help it if you aren’t very tall.
HE AS JOHNNY
Don’t be glib!
SHE AS ADA
I was mad about you! Mad! Don’t you see?
HE AS JOHNNY
Then why’d you leave, Ada!
SHE AS ADA
It was impossible! Perhaps if I’d loved you less it would have been hunky-dory!
I loved you too much!
They look at each other.
For longer than is required.
DIRECTOR
“I think I hear my husband.”
SHE AS ADA
I think I hear my husband. Hang it all!
Husband enters.
HUSBAND
Hello, Johnny. Welcome to New York. I understand you’ve been in Sweden?
HE AS JOHNNY
That’s right. (He says something in Swedish) That means: “Thanks for having me. It’s good of you.” In Swedish. I’m sorry about the—circumstances.
HUSBAND
Oh, don’t mention it, she doesn’t want it mentioned.
Do you have everything you need to make you comfortable?
HE AS JOHNNY
Almost everything.
Johnny looks at Ada.
HUSBAND
Well, let me know if there is anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable.
HE AS JOHNNY
I will.
Would you like a drink?
HE AS JOHNNY
A whiskey sour.
HUSBAND
Ada?
SHE AS ADA
I’m afraid I can’t drink cocktails anymore.
HUSBAND
Of course. Sorry, darling.
Husband exits.
HE AS JOHNNY
My God, he spoke to me like a hotel concierge.
The only thing missing was the uniform.
Kiss me.
He pulls her toward him. They kiss.
HE AS JOHNNY
By God, I’ve missed your lips—
SHE
Wait, maybe more like—
They kiss again, and she drives the kiss.
SHE AS ADA
Your lips taste like—let me taste them again.
She does.
SHE AS ADA
Of cherries?
She tastes them again.
SHE AS ADA
Of chestnuts . . .
They kiss more than is required.
The director gets unc
omfortable.
DIRECTOR
“Oh God, I want to kiss you all day . . .”
SHE AS ADA
Oh God, I want to kiss you all day! Until I’m breathless with desire. The way I was when I was eighteen. Do you remember the lake? And Florence, high above the hill?
HE AS JOHNNY
Let me die with you.
SHE AS ADA
No, no.
HE AS JOHNNY
Yes, at the same time.
SHE AS ADA
Darling, we’d both be dead, what’s the use?
HE AS JOHNNY
I’ll stay with you—until the moment comes. I will be here, keeping hold of your hand.
SHE AS ADA
You won’t lose courage?
HE AS JOHNNY
No.
SHE AS ADA
Oh, Johnny.
SHE
Oh that’s where I have to cry—oh—
DIRECTOR
Yeah.
HE
You can just do it right here—
He gestures to his torso. She weeps onto his torso.
SHE AS ADA
Oh Johnny!
HE AS JOHNNY
There there. I never could stand it when you cried.
SHE AS ADA
I didn’t cry so very much, did I? We were happy, weren’t we?
HE AS JOHNNY
No, darling. But it was heaven—being miserable with you.
He strokes her hair.
Enter husband.
HUSBAND
Darling, Millicent telephoned to say that she’s on one of these new-fangled diets and doesn’t eat—
Johnny keeps stroking her hair.
HUSBAND
Doesn’t eat meat. Can you imagine? She’s been to India—can you imagine—not—eating—meat?
HE AS JOHNNY
I love a turkey sandwich. A cheese sandwich just doesn’t cut it.
Johnny, still stroking her hair.
HUSBAND
You’re just going to—stroke my wife’s hair in front of me?
HE AS JOHNNY
You did invite me, didn’t you? Otherwise, why don’t you stroke her hair?
HUSBAND
I’m happy to stroke my wife’s hair.
HE AS JOHNNY
Let’s both stroke her hair.
SHE AS ADA
Oh, both of you get out of here and play billiards!
(As herself) And then I exit stage left?
DIRECTOR
Why don’t you go stage right. Because you have your quick change.
SHE
Right. Are we going to rehearse the quick change before the dress?
DIRECTOR
We can rehearse it now, before the break, if you like.
SHE
That’d be good. Time it.
DIRECTOR
Go!
She exits.
All the actors sit around, behaving like actors.
The contrast between the fake world of their costumes
and the real modern world: phones, Doritos,
sitting, waiting, knitting . . .
She enters.
SHE
How was that?
DIRECTOR
Thirty-two seconds.
SHE
Great!