Effortless

Chapter 14

 

  Merry Christmas

  I awoke the next morning gloriously achy. As I stretched out my tight muscles, my hip hurt a little bit from sleeping on the hard floor. My arm was mostly numb from partially lying on it. My more womanly parts were also feeling the dull strain, renewed from weeks of being ignored by last night's powerful reconnection. But none of that truly bothered me, because a warm arm was flopped over my stomach.

  I turned my head and snuggled into the warmth of Kellan's neck, missing the feeling of waking up next to him. His arm tightened around my waist and the words I'd missed even more brushed against my ear. "Mornin. "

  He inhaled deep and stretched out his muscles. I had to imagine that he was every bit as sore as I was, although, his man parts probably weren't. That was just a side effect for women. . . it was nice, though. A reminder.

  I leaned in to kiss his neck. "Good morning yourself. " Popping my eyes all the way open, I propped myself up onto my elbow. Smiling down at the half-dozing man beside me, I whispered, "Merry Christmas, Kellan. "

  He opened his eyes and reached up for my face. "Merry Christmas, Kiera. " His hand threaded through my hair and wrapped around my neck. As he started pulling me down to his lips, my bedroom door opened. I froze, wide-eyed, suddenly remembering where I was.

  "Kiera? Where are you?"

  Hearing my sister's soft voice, I peeked my head up. Her luxurious hair was piled into an adorably cute ponytail on the top of her head. Anna laughed when she saw where I was hiding. Dressed in pink and green camouflaged pajamas, she giggled as she laid down on my squeaky mattress. Propping her face into her hands and clicking her heels together, she looked over the edge of the bed, to our love nest on the floor.

  Smiling down at the two of us as I lowered myself back down to Kellan's arms, she laughed out, "Well, I was going to wish you a Merry Christmas and ask if you wanted to head downstairs with me, but I can clearly see that you've already unwrapped your present. " She smiled over at Kellan peering up at her with an amused grin. "Hey, Kellan, glad you finally made it. "

  He chuckled, squeezing me tight. "Hey, Anna. Thanks. "

  Pulling the blankets up Kellan's chest, hiding his tattoo as well as his marvelous pecs, since Anna was clearly enjoying the visual that she'd walked into this morning, I sighed at my sister. "What time is it?"

  Anna swung her perfectly emerald eyes to me. "It's breakfast time. . . Mom's making eggs. "

  I sat up straight, clutching the sheet to my chest; it fell off Kellan a little in the process. "Breakfast. . . is Dad up?"

  Anna clicked her heels together, smiling devilishly. "Yep. " She pointed at Kellan. "And he better get out of here, before Dad realizes he's not on the couch. "

  I scrambled into action, pushing Kellan out of the blankets. He squirmed and fought me, obviously wanting to stay where he was. "Kiera, relax. "

  Shaking my head, I pushed him harder. "No, Anna's right, he's gonna kill you if you're up here. "

  Twisting his lips at me, Kellan raised an eyebrow. "What's he going to do, really? Ground you?"

  Shoving his shoulder, I nodded. "Yes, right after he castrates you. "

  Sighing, Kellan stood up. . . not bothering to hide himself at all. My sister grinned at his nakedness and I slapped my hand over her eyes. Narrowing mine at Kellan, as I kept Anna from prying away my fingers, I watched him slip his clothes back on. Smirking at me, he muttered, "Fine, I'll sneak into the hallway so he'll think I was in the bathroom. "

  I shook my head. "No, you should sneak out the window. Make him think you went for a walk or something. "

  Zipping up his jeans, Kellan dropped his mouth open. Since he was mostly dressed, I stopped fighting with Anna to keep my hand over her eyes; she scowled when she noticed how covered Kellan was, then smiled at how uncovered he still was. Holding his shirt in his hands, he pointed at the window with his thumb. "We're on the second story, Kiera. "

  Wrapping a sheet around me, I shook my head. "Please, he won't believe that you were just in the bathroom. " I pointed out the window. "There's a store about a block from here that should still be open. You could pick up some milk. . . my mom would love you for that. "

  He shook his head, his hands on his hips. "My shoes and jacket are downstairs in the living room?"

  Anna brightened, popping her head up. "No they aren't. I put them outside when I woke up. "

  I looked over at her, surprised. Anna shrugged as she giggled. "It's not the first time I've had to hide a boy, Kiera. " She winked at me and I shook my head at the adventurous girl.

  Kellan groaned, slipping on his shirt. Frowning, he muttered, "Damn it, I haven't snuck out of a woman's window since I was fifteen. "

  I rolled my eyes at him, but Anna giggled. "Kellan, I think you and I seriously need to swap some stories someday. " He looked back at Anna with a crooked grin and she winked at him. I rolled my eyes at the adventurous pair. Standing up, I shoved him towards the window.

  He sighed, opening it. Glancing out at the wintery landscape before him, the frozen trellis he'd have to climb down, he looked back at me with a pitiful expression. "You're an adult, Kiera. He really would probably get over it quicker than you think. "

  I bit my lip. I hadn't told Kellan how hard it had been to get Dad to let him even stay in the same building as me. "He was going to have you sleep in a tent, Kellan. . . in the backyard. " I raised my eyebrow at him, my expression completely serious.

  He started to laugh until he realized that I wasn't joking. Sighing, he rolled his eyes. "Fine," he leaned in to kiss my cheek, "but you owe me, big time. "

  I giggled as he pinched my butt. Anna giggled too. Saluting us with two fingers above his eyebrow, he ducked out the window. I held my breath as I watched him, hoping he didn't fall. When he was at the ledge of the roof, I whispered, "Be careful. "

  He looked up at me, a puff of air leaving his mouth as he shivered in his long-sleeved t-shirt. Anna came to join me as I stared out the window and Kellan smirked at the two of us. Twisting his lip devilishly, he muttered, "You're lucky last night was completely worth this. . . "

  I flushed and Anna let out a throaty laugh. As Kellan began descending, I quietly said his name. When he looked up at me, light snowflakes falling on his rosy cheeks, I smiled and said, "Pick up some eggnog too. "

  He closed his eyes and shook his head, continuing his retreat from my bedroom. Laughing at the look on his face, I silently closed the window. After I quickly shrugged out of my sheet burrito, I threw on some I-just-woke-up pajamas. Anna helped me put all of the covers back onto my bed. We were sitting on the edge of it, laughing over Kellan's sullen expression, when my door swung open. Smoothing my hair into a pony tail, I smiled as Dad poked his head in.

  Staring at him warmly, I watched his light brown eyes scour my room for intruders. The thinning hair on his head was streaked with gray, and as I watched him frown at me, at my empty room, and then at my sister, I was pretty sure we were both to blame for the color change.

  "Merry Christmas, Dad," I said brightly, hopping up to give him a hug.

  Seeing my room with no trace of a boy in it, he relaxed and hugged me back. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart. " Pulling apart from me, he did his best to contain a smile. "Did that Kellan fellow decide to not stay here then? I see that he's not downstairs. "

  I frowned as best as I could and looked back at Anna sitting on my squeaky mattress. "He's not? He was there last night when I went to bed?" I looked back at Dad, keeping my voice as even as I could. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the last year had made me a better liar than I'd ever wished to be.

  Dad frowned but Anna stood up and joined us at the door. "I ran into him this morning. He said he was going to run to the store and get some milk for Mom, since we're almost out. " She tilted her head at Dad. "Wasn't that nice of him, Daddy?"

  Dad twisted his lips, but had no argument against Anna. Shrugging, he mumbled, "Yeah, I guess. . . "<
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  Smiling at each other, Anna and I shepherded our clueless Dad downstairs. I secretly thanked her when we got to the bottom. In my ear she whispered, "I heard you guys last night. . . no need to thank me, you needed that. "

  I turned beet red as we entered the kitchen.

  Mom was there, whisking a bowl of eggs into a yellow, frothy mess that matched the frilly bathrobe she was wearing over her flannel pajamas. Over the smell of greasy, crackling bacon was the undeniable aroma of cinnamon rolls. It made my mouth water. As my mom worked away on the breakfast, I came up beside her and rested my head on her shoulder. The comforting smells and sounds instantly brought me back to every Christmas morning I'd ever had with my family.

  Mom's hair was the same color as mine and Anna's, but not because she had good genes or anything and she hadn't started graying yet. No, her secret weapon came from a product whose tagline was -Fight the good fight. It always made me giggle when I saw the hair color box in her bathroom. The slogan was like something Denny would come up with. Oddly, I paused a moment to wonder if he was enjoying his Christmas day with Abby.

  Squeezing my waist, Mom looked over her shoulder at Dad sitting at the table and reading the paper while Anna gushed about how excited she was for us to open her present; she'd gotten the same thing for every member of our family. As Dad absentmindedly nodded at Anna, Mom looked back to me. Her green eyes, a gift she'd passed to Anna, sparkled as they met mine.

  "Did you have a good night last night?" I flushed a bit, wondering if she knew what really happened. She had woken up before Dad. . .

  Playing with the end of my ponytail, I tried a nonchalant shrug. "Yeah, it was nice to see Kellan again. I've missed him. "

  Mom smiled, returning to her cooking. With a knowing smile, she nodded. "Uh-huh. " Biting my lip and praying to God that she hadn't heard us too, I twisted to leave.

  Mom looked back at me before I completely turned around. Frowning a little, she shook her head. "I'm sure he's a good boy, Kiera, and I'm sure you are deeply in love with him, but. . . not in the house, okay?"

  Needing to block out the sudden image of my mother explaining the birds and the bees to me when I was thirteen, I briefly closed my eyes. Not able to answer, I only nodded and quickly walked over to my sister.

  Anna smiled and wrapped her arm around me. Changing her topic of conversation, she started talking about a cute boy that frequented her work. I wanted to frown at her but I didn't. Anna and Griffin certainly weren't exclusive and could date whomever they pleased, but really, I had to wonder about a guy who frequently dropped by Hooters. Sure, it may not be a strip club or anything, but single guys dropped in for one reason and one reason alone. . . and it wasn't for the hot wings. And Anna deserved better than a horn dog like that.

  Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes at myself. Anna was already involved with a horn dog. Well, at least I knew that particular dog, and he was pretty harmless. I mean, he wasn't some creepy stalker guy and he wasn't violent. Compared to the potential rapists that Anna could be involved with, Griffin, with all of his gross, obnoxious behavior, was actually preferable. God, did I just defend Griffin?

  I was distracted by my musings from a knock at the door. Anna gave me a tiny smile then stood up. "I'll get it. "

  Dad pointed at her, a frown back on his face. "Sit. I'll get it. "

  I bit my lip and sighed, hoping Dad went easy on Kellan. It was Christmas and all, and even if we'd sent him away as a cover story, he had been nice and gone to the store to get the family some milk. . . and hopefully some eggnog too.

  Anna and I followed after Dad as we made our way to the front door. Adjusting the button-up pajama top that he was wearing and trying to stand as tall as he could, Dad prepared himself to open the door. I had to smile at the show; Dad was closer to Denny's height and Kellan was still going to tower over him. If he was going to try and intimidate Kellan through size, it wasn't going to work.

  As Dad slowly opened the door, Mom came up behind us all, wanting to join in on the welcome party. The winter wonderland behind Kellan made for the perfect backdrop as the door swung all the way inward. His black leather jacket matched his black shirt and the confliction with the scenery made him impossible to miss. The movie star good looks didn't hurt either.

  From very quietly behind me, I heard my mother mutter, "Oh my. . . "

  I flushed as Anna giggled. Mom had seen pictures of Kellan, of course, I'd sent more than a few care packages back home, but seeing him in person was something else. Dad, obviously not having heard his wife's reaction to my boyfriend, eyed Kellan up and down. Throwing on an effortless smile, Kellan extended his hand, the one not currently holding the plastic grocery bag. "Mr. Allen, it's very nice to finally meet you. I'm Kellan Kyle. "

  Dad sniffed a moment before taking the gorgeous boy's hand. He shook it for a long time while he silently judged to see if Kellan was worthy of me. I knew from experience that Kellan wouldn't pass Dad's test today. It had taken three months of almost daily interaction for Dad to not say Denny's name with a sneer. And until Denny had taken me away, Dad had really liked him.

  "Uh-huh," was Dad's response to Kellan's introduction.

  Mom sighed irritably and stepped around us. Maybe feeling that her husband wasn't being quite as hospitable as he could be on Christmas morning, she walked over to the door. Placing her hand on Dad's shoulder, she addressed Kellan. "It's nice to meet you too, Kellan. " Motioning into the warmth of the house, she added, "Please come in, it's freezing out there. "

  Kellan smiled at her as she forced Dad to step aside so he could enter. Glancing at me quickly, a wry smile touching his lips for a moment, Kellan muttered, "I know. "

  I looked away before I started laughing. When I looked back, Kellan was extending the bag to my mom; Dad had his hands on his hips, clearly not thrilled that another male was in his home, trying to sweep away his little girl. I didn't bother telling Dad that I'd been swept away long ago. . .

  "Mrs. Allen, I noticed that you were low on milk so I got you some more. " Mom smiled as she took the bag and Kellan looked over at me again, adding, "I got some eggnog, too, just in case anyone wanted some. " He smirked at me as he turned back to my mom.

  A flake of snow in his hair melted, dropping to his cheek and rolling down his skin. Every female in the house watched its progression. Snapping out of it first, my mom smiled and took the bag from him. "Thank you, Kellan. That was very thoughtful of you. "

  Shrugging, Kellan looked down at the floor, a soft smile on his lips. "It was the least I could do, since you're letting me stay for a few days. "

  Dad dropped his hands from his waist and twisted his head to stare at me. "A few days?"

  I'd sort of failed to mention that when I'd asked about Kellan staying. Honestly, I hadn't been sure how long I'd get to have him. My insides squirming at the thought of all the time we'd have together, I frowned at my father. "Dad!"

  He sighed and shook his head, but didn't complain any further. I was sure I'd hear more later, but for the moment, he was being nice enough to not say anything around Kellan. My mom watched the showdown between Dad and me with a raised eyebrow, then encouraged Kellan to take off his jacket and make himself at home. I slung it up on the coat rack for him, bouncing a little as I took his hand. It was just so nice to have him near me again. I knew the next separation would hurt. . . but I'd deal with that when it happened.

  Kellan smiled once he smelled the combination of coffee, cinnamon and bacon. Looking perfectly at ease with my family, he sat at the table across from Dad. While I made Kellan a cup of coffee, Dad eyed him like he was going to go mental at any moment, pull out a WMD or something. Kellan only smiled at him, asking if he was a Cincinnati Reds fan or a Cleveland Indians fan. Dad brightened, then stopped himself. Shrugging, he said the Reds were alright.

  Mom and I both looked at each other and rolled our eyes. Dad was glued to the television whenever his favorite baseball team was on t
he air. It was well known in the house that if you wanted anything from Dad, you waited to ask for it until the Reds were winning. . . and didn't even bother asking if they were losing.

  I returned to the table just as Kellan started going into specifics of the game. I listened to his deep voice, enraptured. He knew more than I realized he did. Kellan had never struck me as the athletic type. That had been Denny. He'd always been watching highlights on TV. Denny and Dad had bonded together over a few amazing plays. But Kellan knew enough to keep up his end of the conversation and had Dad engaged until Mom and I set the plates of food down.

  Pouring myself a huge glass of eggnog, I sat beside Kellan. He glanced over at my glass and smiled to himself. I squeezed his thigh under the table, thanking him for the treat he'd gotten just for me. As we gazed at each other for a moment, I had to firmly resist the urge to lean up and kiss him. My father cleared his throat.

  Kellan glanced up at him as Anna handed Kellan a plate of bacon. As Kellan took some, my dad pointed at him with the serving spoon. "So, Kiera tells us you are in a. . . band?"

  Dad said the word like it was foreign, like he wasn't sure how to pronounce it. His face held an equally confused expression. To Dad, bands were something you did as teenagers. To Dad, real men went to college, got degrees, and joined the stereotypical work force. Dad just didn't understand Kellan's life choices at all. I frowned as I looked across the table at him. He might understand better if he knew Kellan's history, knew just what music had helped him through, but that wasn't my story to tell. And it wasn't one Kellan told openly.

  Passing the plate of bacon to me, Kellan gave me a warm smile. "Yes, sir. We're on tour right now. Our next show is on New Year's Eve in D. C. "

  My shoulders slumped a little at the news. Having a definite departure date kind of sucked. Dad brightened a little, though. Slopping a mess of eggs on his plate, he casually said, "Oh, so you'll be away a lot. . . on this tour-thing?"

  Grabbing the plate of rolls from Anna, who rolled her eyes at Dad, Kellan quietly said, "Yes. . . " He grabbed a roll and handed the rest to me. Our fingers touched under the plate and Kellan stroked my thumb with his. The expression in his eyes screamed an apology-that he'd be leaving soon, that he'd be gone for so long, that we'd be separated again. Swallowing, I nodded at him encouragingly.

  Digging into the plate of bacon, Dad smiled. "Oh, well, that's good that you're finding success. " Kellan nodded at him, taking the eggs as they made their way around the table. As Dad loaded his fork with food, he asked, "So what do you boys call yourselves anyway?"

  I cringed, knowing my dad wasn't going to like this. Anna laughed while Kellan looked down, seemingly unsure if he should say it to the man he was trying to impress. Maybe understanding that lying would do no good right now, Kellan picked up his fork and muttered, "D-Bags. "

  Dad sputtered on the food he'd just attempted to swallow. Coughing a little, he leaned over his plate. "Excuse me?"

  Clearing his throat, Kellan looked up at him. "Um, the band. . . we're named. . . D-Bags. " He shrugged. "It's just. . . supposed to be funny. " As Dad narrowed his eyes, clearly not amused, Kellan murmured, "We might change it. . . if we go mainstream. "

  Anna looked between the two men and laughed. Spunkily shaking her head, her high ponytail flipping around her face, she told Kellan, "You better not. I love that you're Douchebags. "

  Kellan bit his lip to hide his amusement while my mother gasped. "Anna!"

  Teasingly shoving Kellan's shoulder back, Anna laughed again and dug into her food. Dad frowned at my sister, but said nothing more about the band's name. There was a moment of silence around the table as we all ate in peace. Mom's food was incredible and I nearly purred as I popped a gooey piece of cinnamon roll in my mouth. Kellan watched me eat it, a slightly devilish look in his eye. I smacked his leg under the table, warning him as quietly as I could to behave himself.

  When he playfully grinned at me, popping a segment of a roll into his own mouth, I had to look away. I'd suddenly envisioned licking cinnamon and sugar off his skin, and that was certainly not a thought I should be having on Christmas morning. . . at my parents' table. While Kellan chuckled, I met eyes with my dad. He was watching us with a furrowed brow. His eyes darted past me for a second, into the living room, and I held my breath, hoping he didn't piece anything together.

  What he did say, though, made a cold wash of nerves go over me, and I suddenly would have preferred him asking about last night. "Kellan. . . is it true what they say about rock stars?"

  Kellan finished his roll and looked around the table. Bunching his brows, he shook his head. "What do you mean?"

  Dad paused to take a bite of his bacon while I tensed. There were so many different paths he could take this conversation down, and all of them were bad. "You know, about the women that follow the bands around, trying to. . . get to know them. "

  Anna dropped her fork and stared at Dad while Mom brightly exclaimed, "Would anyone like some more eggs?"

  Kellan ignored her question, keeping his eyes locked on Dad's. "Some women are like that, yes, but it's a lot less than you would probably think-"

  Dad cut him off, waving his bacon slice in the air. "But it is true, though, you do have women trying to seduce you? To lead you away from my daughter?"

  I flushed, hating that our life was being discussed so openly. "Dad!"

  Dad ignored me, focused intently on Kellan. As Kellan unwaveringly met his eyes, I suddenly saw my dad's true fear with me dating a rock star. It wasn't really that he considered the job frivolous, or that there was an alarming potential for drug or alcohol abuse. It was that my dad didn't think Kellan could possibly be faithful to me. It was my own fears reflected back to me. Somehow, that made them seem all the more possible.

  Beside me, Kellan whispered, "Yes. "

  I blinked and looked over at him, not expecting him to answer so honestly. It stung, too, knowing that he was getting offers. Even if he was rejecting them, it still hurt to know that they really were out there. My eyes started watering and Kellan purposely avoided looking at me.

  Dad leaned forward in his chair and I looked back at him, begging my eyes to calm down. I did not want to cry in front of my parents. They would never trust Kellan if I didn't trust him. As Anna sputtered that none of this was Dad's business, Dad pointed the last of his bacon at Kellan. "Don't you think it would be better for Kiera then, if you paused the relationship while you were away. . . so she doesn't get hurt by your. . . admirers?"

  Kellan shook his head. "I never. . . I don't. . . " He closed his eyes, taking a moment to collect himself. Just as I felt my eyes starting to pool over, Kellan opened his and looked over at me. "I love your daughter, and I'd never do anything to hurt her. "

  My mother stood up then, collecting Dad's plate. "Of course you wouldn't, dear. Martin's just being an ass. "

  Dad frowned at Mom and I blinked, staring up at her. Mom never swore, not even the mild ones. When Dad looked about to object, Mom gave him a glance-the glance. It was a pointed look that said so much. It was a full-on sentence in just a second of connection. She may as well have screamed-You have said enough, and if you open your mouth again there will be hell to pay in this house for the next six months! It is Christmas morning and I will not let you make my baby girl cry while she is here visiting us, for quite possibly the only time until next winter, by making her doubt the man that she is clearly head-over-heels in love with!

  Dad wisely said nothing.

  When a strained quiet fell over the table, Mom looked around. "Should we open presents then?"

  Kellan slapped on a smooth smile as he stood up. "Sounds wonderful, Mrs. Allen. "

  Mom smiled at him around her hands full of plates. "Caroline, dear. "

  Kellan nodded at her. "Caroline, thank you for breakfast. It was incredible. " He motioned around the house with his hand. "Is there a bathroom. . . ?"

  "Oh, sure. " Mom motioned upstairs wit
h her one free pinky.

  Kellan smiled and looked around the room as he excused himself. He seemed happy and unperturbed, but I saw his fingers go to the bridge of his nose as he turned the corner to head upstairs. I knew enough about him to know that the conversation had bothered him. He was taking a minute.

  My eyes snapped back to Dad when Kellan was out of earshot. "Dad! What was that all about?"

  Anna crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. Dad looked between the two of us. For once, his face was almost sheepish. "I'm sorry if I stepped over the line there, Kiera. " He leaned forward and pointed his finger to where I could hear water running upstairs. "But these are questions you need to ask yourself if you are going to be in a relationship with him. Is he on the same page? Does he really love you? Can he turn down woman after woman? If you take the relationship to the next level, will he soil your marriage bed?"

  I flushed and looked down, too flustered to say anything. Anna spoke up in my silence. "He's a good guy, Dad. You don't even know him. "

  Her hands free now, Mom came up to rest her palms on my shoulders. "That could have been handled more privately, Martin. "

  Dad glanced up at her. "I'm just looking out for our daughter. "

  I peeked up at him then. "I can look out for me, Dad. " Glancing over my shoulder really fast, I leaned in and whispered, "I've had all of the doubts that you have, okay. I think about it. I worry about it. " I shook my head. "But I love him. Shouldn't I give him the chance to fail before I condemn him?"

  Dad's eyes widened as he sat back in his chair. A hand rubbed over his jaw as he softly smiled at me. Fatherly pride stretching over his face, he shook his head. "You always were too smart for your own good. "

  I relaxed back into Mom behind me and shook my head. "Not really. . . but I'm trying to be smarter. " I bit my lip, not wanting to let too much truth about my vast failings slip out. My parents still didn't know the real reason Denny and I broke up. They assumed he had left the country for a job, and I was content to let them think that. "I'm in love with him, Dad. Pausing. . . isn't an option for me. "

  I heard a sniff from the doorway and looked back to see Kellan standing there, head down as he listened. He looked up and met my eye, a genuine, peaceful smile on his face. Dad sighed, maybe finally seeing that he really had lost his little girl. I stood up and walked over to Kellan. Cupping his cheeks, slightly moist, like he'd splashed water on them, I searched his unique eyes. "Not being yours isn't an option anymore," I whispered.

  He nodded, and leaned down to kiss me. I let him, Dad be damned.

  Twenty minutes later, you wouldn't even know the conversation had happened. Kellan let it slide off of him and Dad even seemed a little chagrined that he'd brought it up. He even stopped his sullen, disapproving looks at Kellan. He didn't suddenly turn warm towards him or anything, but he did stop being the brutish, overprotective father.

  Anna had forgotten about the moment the minute we stepped near the tree. Honestly, eating breakfast first was the hardest part about Christmas for her. We'd only started doing that in the last couple of years, when the presents part of the holidays started taking a back seat to the family part of the holidays. But she was still a giddy little girl when it came time to rip open stuff.

  Kellan sat beside me on the couch as she started doling out gifts. She handed everybody a similarly wrapped, flat square and made us all open them together. Kellan laughed as he looked around at all of us opening Anna's gift. I laughed when I saw what it was. We were all now proud owners of next year's Hooters calendar. I blinked as I stared at the three orange and white clad vixens on the cover.

  Dropping my jaw, I looked up at her. "You got the cover?"

  Anna clapped and giggled, stomping her feet in her excitement. "Yes! I was hoping you didn't see one in the stores, I wanted to surprise you. "

  I stood up and gave her a hug, Mom and Dad and Kellan following suit. I knew she'd made the calendar, April, from what she'd told me, but the cover was an even bigger deal. Sitting back down, I flipped to her page. God, she was pretty. I immediately closed it. Kellan set his aside and grabbed my hand, leaning into me. Smiling over the fact that he hadn't peeked at her picture, I kissed his cheek.

  The standard gifts went around the room-clothes, books, music, movies and games. The merriment in the air was palpable as we all laughed and enjoyed each other's company. Kellan silently watched the whole affair, his eyes soft and speculative. When it got near the end of the pile under the tree, Anna handed him a present from my parents. He blinked at the gift, surprised, like he hadn't been expecting to receive anything from them. Honestly, I was pretty surprised, too.

  My dad was wrapped up in playing with a new, techy gadget, but Mom watched Kellan as he turned the present over and over. I elbowed him gently. "Open it. "

  He looked up at me, then at my mom. "You didn't have to. . . " He shrugged and Mom smiled.

  "I know. "

  Swallowing, Kellan unwrapped the present. Inside a simple, white box, was a small scrapbook. Kellan smiled as he started to flip through the pages. I blinked as I looked over his shoulder. It was a book about the two of us, about our life together. There were pictures of just me, some taken when I was pretty young. There were pictures of Seattle-his house, the bar, the Space Needle. And then there were pictures of the two of us.

  Most of those pictures were candid, like we weren't aware that we were being photographed. There was one of him staring at me at work. I had my back to him, helping a customer, and the look on his face was nearly reverent as he secretly watched me. There were others where we were smiling at each other, laughing at some private moment. A few were of us softly kissing each other. And the very last photo was a close-up of the two of us cuddling together, sleeping on my ugly, orange sofa. Even in sleep, Kellan had a soft smile on his face.

  Anna giggled and I glanced up at her and Mom. As Kellan shook his head in disbelief, Mom quietly said, "Anna helped me put that together for you, Kellan. So you could take a piece of home with you on the road. "

  Kellan looked up at her, his eyes a little glossy. "Thank you. . . so much. "

  Mom nodded at him. Sniffing a little, he brightened and reached over the back of the couch to dig through his bag. "I have presents, too. "

  I smiled and tilted my head at him. Grinning, he dispersed gifts to Anna, a joint one for my mom and dad, and one for me. Grinning myself, I pointed to where I'd been hiding one for him at the back of the Christmas tree. "Don't forget yours. "

  He smirked at me, grabbed it, then sat beside me again. As my family opened his presents, laughs and thank yous going around the room, Kellan and I stared at each other. "Together?" he whispered, lifting my gift in his hands.

  I nodded, and we started tearing into each other's gifts at the same time. I watched him more than opened mine, then laughed when I saw he was doing the same. Shaking my head, I stopped and pointed at the gift he was halfheartedly opening. "You first. "

  He frowned, then laughed. A few minutes later he was holding what I'd purchased for him. He was hard to shop for; he didn't really need or want anything. But there were a few things he cared about and I'd played on those when I'd started looking around for presents. One, he liked to write. He was constantly scribbling lyrics into spiral notebooks that were shoved into his dresser drawers. So I'd gotten him some really nice journals to write in, maybe for the lyrics that were keepers. He was also trying to be more involved with writing the music, so one of the journals was just music sheets.

  Second, Kellan liked the classics. Being stuck on a bus with lots of noisy boys, I thought he might like a reprieve. I'd gotten an outstanding deal on a Discman, and loaded up some CDs with all of the classic rock songs that he'd occasionally sing around the house. The technology was out of date, MP3 players being all the rage now, but considering Kellan still had a tape player in his car, I figured it was about as far as I could push him in that area.

  Thirdly,
Kellan liked sex. Not wanting to give him something that would embarrass me in front of my family, I'd taken a picture of the moderately sexy outfit that was awaiting him when he got back home. I'd picked it up right before heading out here, after he'd jokingly mentioned buying me something. For some reason, I knew our style levels would be completely different, and if I was going to wear something. . . like that. . . I wanted to be the one picking it out.

  Finding the picture tucked in one of the journals, he glanced at me with a raised eyebrow. When I pointed to the cuffs in the very top corner of the picture, his grin turned heated. I flushed, knowing I would have to be very, very drunk to ever, ever use them, but the look on his face was worth it.

  The last thing I'd tucked into the box I'd gotten on a whim. It was a Hot Wheels car. And not just any Hot Wheels car, but a classic muscle car. I wasn't sure if it was a Chevelle, but it was close, and it was shiny black. Kellan's car was the last thing that Kellan really cared about and I'd gotten the toy as a way to let him know that I was taking care of his baby.

  When Kellan spotted it, he picked it up and stared at me. His mouth dropped open and he looked completely thrown. I bunched my brows as I watched his eyes start to tear up again. He shook his head and muttered something that I swear was, "How did you know?"

  I opened my mouth to ask him what he'd said, but he grabbed me, hugging me tight. "Thank you, Kiera. . . you don't know how much I love this, all of this. " He pulled back to gaze at me, his heart in his eyes. "How much I love you. "

  I swallowed and nodded. Palming his toy, he pointed to the box in my hands. "Your turn. "

  Exhaling in a rush, I concentrated on the box in my fingertips. Biting my lip, I wondered what he could have gotten for me as I finished unwrapping the partially opened gift. Once I saw the shape of the box, my heart started thudding. It was a ring box. I paused, unsure if I should open this. Was he proposing? What did I say if he was? Honestly, a part of me thrilled over the idea of being his wife, but my dad had a good point. Kellan and I still had issues to work through before we could even think about heading down that path. I mean, we hadn't even gotten to the point where we could live together again. This step seemed too big.

  Knowing he was watching me intently, and not wanting him to think I was doubting him in any way, I popped the box out and opened the lid. Inside were two silver bands, one clearly a man's, one a woman's; the woman's was elegantly lined with small diamonds. Confused, I scrunched my brows and looked up at him. He smiled, peering down at me.

  Reaching down, he grabbed the man's ring. "They're promise rings," he whispered. Picking up the woman's, he lifted my right hand. Sliding it on my finger, he softly said, "You wear one," he slipped the man's on the ring finger of his right hand, "and I wear one. " Smiling contently, he shook his head. "And we promise that no one comes between us. That we. . . belong to each other, and only each other. "

  As I stared at him, amazed and warmed, a tear rolled down my cheek. "I love it," I whispered, leaning over to kiss him.

  We tenderly kissed on that couch for a long moment. We probably would have kissed longer, but a wadded-up piece of gift paper smacked me in the face. Frowning, I turned to glare at my sister. She grinned, giggling as she lifted a box of very expensive perfume. . . her favorite kind. "Thanks, Kellan, I love it. "

  He nodded at her, laughing lightly as he snuggled into my side. From the other couch, my dad cleared his throat and pointed at what Kellan had gotten for them. "Yes, thank you. . . Kellan. "

  Mom grinned as she hugged what looked like plane tickets in her hand. As I scrunched my face, trying to figure out where they were going, Kellan leaned down to my ear. "I got them tickets to Seattle, so they could see you graduate in June. "

  My mouth dropped open as I looked back at him. He grinned and laughed at the look on my face. "Kellan. . . you didn't have to. . . "

  He shrugged. "I know, but your parents should see all of your hard work pay off, and tickets are expensive, so. . . " He shrugged again.

  As the relaxation of a successful Christmas morning flowed throughout the room, I leaned into Kellan's body. Lacing our hands together, I watched where the rings lined up and smiled. Sighing at the physical representation of our commitment to each other, I noticed that Kellan was still fingering the toy car in his other hand.

  Pulling back, I looked up at him. "When I gave you that toy, you said something. What was it?"

  Kellan looked down at our hands, smiling to himself. Shaking his head, he murmured, "It's nothing. "

  I kissed his jaw. "Tell me anyway. "

  He looked over at me and then at the room full of the family that I loved. Anna was snuggling with Mom, thanking her for a cashmere set that had probably cost my parents a small fortune. Dad was flipping through Anna's calendar, telling her that she looked very. . . pretty.

  Absorbing the feeling in the room, Kellan shook his head. "This is so nice. . . so peaceful. Kind of idyllic. " His voice low, almost inaudible, he whispered, "I keep waiting for the yelling to start. " He glanced over at me and then looked down at our hands again. "It means so much to me that you let me. . . be a part of this. " He looked back up at me, his face content. "I think this may be my new favorite Christmas morning. "

  I smiled, jabbing him in the ribs. "Even though you had to climb down a trellis?" I whispered, careful to not let Dad hear me. "Even being. . . interrogated?" I said more seriously.

  He smiled down on me and nodded. "Yep. . . still the best. "

  Knowing that he probably hadn't had too many bright spots in his childhood, I wondered what memory had been his favorite up until this point. When I asked him, he turned his head, his eyes getting a faraway look as he remembered. "I was five. It was Christmas Eve. My dad was angry at. . . something. . . I don't remember what, and he tossed me into a wall, broke my arm. "

  My eyes widened as Kellan's contented smile grew. This was a good memory?

  Not reacting to my face, he glanced at his arm slung around me and ran our laced together fingers over a bone under his shirt. "It broke here. " In my horror, I realized it was the exact same spot Denny had broken his arm.

  Kellan shrugged, his face still serene. "They took me to the emergency room, my mom complaining the entire time that they were going to be late for a party. I don't know why I remember her saying that. . . " Looking over to the Christmas tree, Kellan shook his head. "Anyway, they checked me in, then left. I didn't see them again until Christmas night. "

  Leaning back on the couch, Kellan smiled wider as his story grew more and more awful. "There was this nurse there, and I guess she felt sorry for me or something, because I was all alone on Christmas morning. " He looked over at the toy car in his hand, lifting it up to examine it closer. "She gave me a set of three Hot Wheels. A fire truck, a police car, and. . . a muscle car. " He grinned as he met my eye. "Just like this one. "

  Shaking his head, he laughed a little. "I played with those cars all day. . . " Running the toy down my arm, he murmured, "But this one was my favorite. It was the only thing I wished I'd remembered to take to L. A. when I left home. But I forgot, and my parents. . . tossed it. "

  He met eyes with me again. "That Christmas was the best one I'd ever had, because I wasn't at home. That toy was the best gift I'd ever received, even better than my guitar I think, because the guitar was mainly a ploy from my parents to keep me out of their hair. . . " He lifted the car again. "This. . . was pure. "

  He swallowed, searching my eyes. "I thought I'd never see anything like that car again. . . how did you know to get me this?"

  I shook my head, tears stinging the edges of my eyes. "It just. . . seemed like you. "

  Kellan frowned as he watched my eyes water and fill. "Hey, I didn't tell you that to make you feel sorry for me. " He cupped my cheek. "I'm okay, Kiera. " I nodded under his fingertips but a tear escaped me anyway. Brushing it aside with his thumb, he smiled at me. "I just wanted to let you know what it meant to me. To. .
. thank you for letting me have this experience with you and your family. It means more than you'll ever really understand. "

  I shook my head. "No, I think I get it. "

  I kissed him lightly but my lip was trembling. Knowing I was going to start sobbing for him if I didn't change my thoughts, I shook my head and inhaled deep. "I could use some eggnog. You?"

  Kellan smiled peacefully and shook his head. "No, I don't need anything. "

  I nodded, kissed his head, and hurried out of there. He didn't need or want my pity. He had dealt with his past a long time ago.

  Brushing my fingers under my eyes, I ran into my mom in the kitchen. She smiled as she made another pot of coffee. "Kellan seems to be enjoying himself?"

  Yes, more than she'd ever realize. I shook my head, forcing on the effortless smile that Kellan always wore. "Yeah, thank you so much for getting Dad to let him come. I know it was you, and I'm really. . . " I swallowed, the emotion of his story still with me, "I'm really grateful. "

  Mom frowned then came over to give me a hug. "Hey, it's alright. No need to get all blubbery. "

  I sighed at myself, hugging her back. "I know. " Releasing her, I rested my head on her shoulder. She patted my arm then glanced down at the ring on my finger. She frowned for a moment and then looked back into the living room at Kellan.

  Looking back with her, I could see that Anna had joined him on the couch and was flipping through her calendar with him. They were peering at something intently, Kellan laughing a bit and shaking his head. Watching the naturally beautiful pair, I sighed. Then I rubbed my ring with my thumb and smiled. He'd chosen me.

  "Is that from Kellan?" my mom asked quietly.

  I looked back at her and nodded. "Yeah, he got us both promise rings. Sweet, huh?"

  She bit her lip, tilting her head. "Honey, I may disagree with how your father broached the subject, but I don't entirely disagree with him about Kellan. " She shook her head, watching Kellan and Anna get into a playful wrapping paper fight. "He's so. . . attractive, Kiera, even more so in person than his pictures. " Looking back at me, she frowned. "That sort of thing gets noticed by women and attractive men aren't always good with. . . one relationship. And even if he doesn't stray, it takes a special person to be able to handle all of the attention he'll receive. Are you sure you can be that woman? Are you sure you want to date him?"

  She looked back at Kellan and my sister, and I suddenly felt like what she was really saying was that Anna, my beautiful, provocative, spontaneous, easy-going sister, was a better match for him. Frowning, I crossed my arms over my chest. "Yes, I'm sure. I know what you guys think of me, but Kellan sees more, he loves me. "

  Mom took a step back and narrowed her eyes at me. "What are you talking about, Kiera?"

  I stiffened, not really wanting to talk about the constant references that I heard, not wanting to talk about the major differences between Anna and me, differences that had been pointed out to me my entire childhood. Mom squeezed my shoulder when I didn't answer her. When she repeated her question, I sighed, and muttered, "You know. . . that Anna's the beautiful one and I'm. . . I'm the smart one. "

  Mom sighed and squeezed me tight. "Oh, Kiera, honey. I hope we never made you feel that way, it was never our intention. " Pulling back, she looked me in the eye. "That's not what we think. We're always telling people about both of our beautiful daughters, and they always agree with us. You're every bit as attractive as your sister, Kiera. I think you're the only one that doesn't see it. "

  Looking back into the living room, Mom shook her head. "But Anna. . . relies on her looks. It's become how she defines herself. Sometimes I worry that her looks are all she'll have, and when those eventually fade. . . "

  Smiling, she looked over at me and smoothed back my hair. "But you are beautiful and smart, and you'll do well with whatever life hands you. " She leaned in to place a kiss on my forehead. "Your father and I are both very proud of the woman you're becoming. " Sighing, she shook her head. "You're our baby. . . we don't want to see you hurt is all. "

  I smiled, looking back at Kellan. Anna was admiring his ring. He smiled at her and then looked up at me. Tilting his head, he nodded a little, like he was telling me that everything would be okay. As Mom kissed my head and walked back into the living room, I heard Kellan's jacket ringing. Thinking maybe it was the guys wishing us a Merry Christmas, I walked over and plucked it out of his pocket. It was a text from a number I didn't recognize; the name just said 'private. ' I was about to hit the read button when the phone was yanked from my hands.

  Surprised, I looked over at Kellan standing beside me. Smiling, he glanced at the screen, hit a button, then tucked the phone in his pocket. Ice washed through me; he hadn't even looked at the message, like he was going to when he was alone. A downside to giving him a cell phone struck me as my curiosity piqued.

  Ignoring the look on my face, he pointed over to Anna. "Want to play a game? Anna thinks she can beat me at Monopoly. " He laughed a little and shook his head. I frowned. No, I didn't want to play a game, I wanted to know who had just texted him.

  "Sure," I muttered. As he started leading me away, I started to wonder if maybe my parents were wiser than I wanted to believe. Before I could stop myself, I asked, "Who was that text from?"

  Kellan effortlessly smiled back at me and shook his head. "It was just from Griffin. " He leaned in and laughed. "Trust me, with the stuff he's been sending me lately, you don't want to see it. "

  I frowned, but nodded. It was a completely plausible story and he had just given us promise rings. He wouldn't do that if he wasn't living up to his end of the promise. . . right?