Dog Eared

Dog Eared

  Ten minute stage plays for 4 actors+1(Voice Over)

  Edmond: 40+, Shakespearian style

  Erroyl: 40+ Suave Debonair style

  Ian: 20+ Sporting style

  Jan: 30+ Domestic goddess style

  Tom: 40+ Southern Dixieland accent (V.O.)

  Synopsis

  Set in A Second Hand bookshop. Each actor is a book, worried as they are caught up in the recycling craze.

  (The action of how the “Books” leave the stage is up to the director)

  Time: Now.

  EDMOND:

  What is that appalling disturbance? It is causing my mind to implode, surely, it must stop, how am I going to continue? Really! A man of my position should not be subjected to a thunderous waterfall of the foulest of words. Can the rabble that owns this store not place him in some knock down bin?

  ERROYL:

  Be fair old sport, it is our Tom there howling to the winds. Your just jealous because he was your no1 contender in the student library departments, remember sir, was it not only a year ago were you over there in the fishing section, “What worm is that?” as I remember the title being.

  EDMOND:

  Tom! He was over there on the aisle across from me, mocking me, him and that pest Huck and that little fishing pole of his. I saw him being procured no less than 12 months ago, what has happened to him?

  ERROYL:

  Well Edmond old chap, Looks like by that coarse Southern flavoured yelping coming from Mr Sawyer, he has returned to us as a “Scratch and Sniff Popup book. Thrown into the children’s section. It seems the Eleven or Twelve youngsters gathered around him, are scratching his bits to bits.

  IAN:

  Your right Erroyl it is Tom! I wonder what page Huck is on? He won’t be too pleased when those runts get to him.

  EDMOND:

  Let that be a lesson to you all, if you rip and damage a delicate page from a precious book you will be returning as a comic, a periodical or worse yet?

  I cannot bear to mention it…

  JAN:

  Well don’t mention it at all Edmond, poor Ian here will flip if he knows what future may have in store for him. And By the way! Our Tom Sawyer did not rip the pages from the book. He was being a Southern gentleman and taking the blame for that little Miss Becky Thatcher, She was the cause of his woes.

  ERROL:

  Sorry Jan, I forgot you were able to join in the conversation. I mean you were a picture book last time, what was it again? “A coffee table book about coffee tables” with those cute little legs you had just sitting there no words, just flat old pictures, ah it was so peaceful. Not like now.eh Jan? It does sound like those cheeky rascals have gotten to dear Huck now. Well I am ashamed of him; listen to that blue language pouring forth.

  JAN:

  Like father like son That Huck’s dad was never any good! Was he Erroyl?

  And I will have you know I was on TV when I was that! “Coffee Table Book”.

  On Seinfeld no less.

  What do you say about that, Mr why are my parents not married Edmond? …Edmond?

  IAN:

  He’s gone Jan; some student actor has grabbed him I am guessing. Look there he goes now. With that man in the cardigan and leather patches on the elbows, Probably Imagines King Lear is about some Royal French jet.

  EDMOND:

  I told you someone would want me, Illegitimate or Not. Farewell my friends I have unfinished business with that Maiden Goneril the murdering seductress. And I have some apologising to do with my dear Regan. If only I can keep that Bloody Edgar, from finding that letter this time. Wow! You put out one little rumour about someone and they hold a grudge for 400 years. It always ends with someone getting hurt, who knows maybe I will win this time… Anyway! I hope to be read up to the part where she showers me with her amorous intentions. I deserve it after all the time I have spent on this shelf.

  IAN:

  What’s he going on about? Amorous intentions?

  JAN:

  Kismet. Ian, Kismet.