Letting Go



  Letting Go

  By Rena Janssen

  Copyright 2013 Rena Janssen

  Cover art photo by Rena Janssen

  This eBook is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, or events in this novel are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Other Books by Rena Janssen

  Life Through Love

  Things Change

  Chapter 1

  There was a knock at her door. Since Carly Bailey had moved into the small RV, it only took her a few steps to get there.

  “Just a minute.” She said when she realized that she only had on a small tank top and short shorts. She reached over and grabbed her robe to cover herself.

  Whoever was out there was apparently impatient because they started beating on the door harder.

  “Just a second! I’m coming!”

  She knew they could hear her out there and it kind of scared her. She was a widow woman in her late thirties living alone in a small RV so she grabbed her gun. She knew she had locked the screen door so she slowly opened the main door and peeked out. She felt the blast of cold air rush through the screen, immediately raising goose bumps all over her body.

  “Granger Dale Smith! What the…? You scared me to death!” She said as she slung the door open.

  “Don’t wave that thing around! It could go off at any second.” He said.

  “You know that I know how to use this! What are you doing here this time of night?” Carly asked as she unlocked the screen door to let him in. She went and put the gun away and walked back into the small sitting area.

  “It is supposed to get down into the teens tonight and I was worried about you.” Granger said shyly.

  “Granger, I have been living in this RV for almost two years now and you have never come to visit because you thought I would be cold.” She said. She had known Granger for ten years and he had become a special friend. They shared many good times together, comparing dates. They had been in each other’s weddings. He was even her son’s godfather. They lived two blocks away from each other and they both had lost their families to a tornado that ripped through their city. He had rebuilt his home but Carly didn’t have the heart to rebuild so she just set up her RV where the three bedroom house used to be and kept telling herself that she was going to leave but didn’t go. She couldn’t.

  “I know. I was just thinking that you needed company.” He said looking at his feet. “Well maybe I needed the company.” He looked around and seen that she had grabbed the latest horror movie and had popped popcorn. “Can I join you? The house is a bit lonely tonight.”

  “Of course.” Carly said. As soon as she got the words out he was taking his shoes off and set his jacket on the back of the chair.

  He grabbed the popcorn and said, “After you.” She jumped onto the bed and sat back to start the movie while getting comfortable. It was a bit chilly so she adjusted the thermostat on the RV by remote and the heat kicked on.

  “This place is awesome.” He said. “Why...”

  “Shhhh! The movie is starting. I have been waiting on this one for months!” She interrupted.

  They sat in silence as the newest zombie movie played.

  “This is the corniest movie that I have ever seen!” He said. “What on earth? Really Car? You like this?”

  “It is a bit overboard on the cheese factor. But you know me, I like cheese.” She said looking over at him. His shaggy blonde hair had grown out in need of a trim. He had some popcorn butter on his chin. So she reached over to wipe it off with her thumb. He caught her hand and looked into her eyes. They just stared for a minute. Neither was breathing. He leaned closer. His sea blue green eyes captured her brown ones. He came closer and closer until there was just a whisper of air between them. He waited unblinkingly as if asking permission. Her heart beat faster and faster.

  “What are you doing?” she was finally able to ask breaking the moment. She felt a little disappointed as he leaned back and closed his eyes with a groan.

  “Wasn’t it obvious?” he finally said with his eyes still closed and his head laid back. She said nothing, too confused to speak. “I have wanted you for a long time. God forgive me. I wanted you before I ever met Alice but when you married Frankie, I thought I could never have you so a friendship would have to do and I was fine with that. As long as you were in my life, I was happy. Alice was a great woman and I loved her until the end. I knew you loved Frankie too. You wouldn’t have married him otherwise. Lucky Bastard!”

  “But…”

  “No let me finish.” He said pleadingly. “When Justin was born and you claimed me to be his God father, Alice and I were so happy, especially since we couldn’t have children. But that horrible stormy day, tore us both apart. I am trying to move on, rebuilding my house was my first steps, but you are living here smothering in their memories refusing to live again.” He looked at her then. “Don’t get me wrong, Car. I can’t imagine losing a child and husband in the same day but I did lose Alice, and I loved her dearly. I also lost a great friend and a boy that I loved like my own son. It has been two years and I know they would want us to be happy. You may not be happy with me but I know you need to let go and be happy. I will support whatever decision you make. I will always be here for you.” He stood up and started putting his boots back on, when she just sat there with an agonizingly confused look on her face. He realized that he hated that look. It was as if he was causing her some kind of pain and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.

  “Granger, I…”

  “Shhh.” He said as he placed his hand on her cheek. “I know. Just think about it. You know where I am. I love you. I always have.” He turned to leave but she grabbed his shoulder.

  “Stay with me tonight.”

  He turned slowly, not believing what he was hearing. His heart felt as if it would stop. He looked at her. She had a tear rolling down her cheek. He had only seen her cry once and hated with every fiber of his being that he had brought her to this.

  “Carly?” He asked once more reaching up to wiper her tears with this thumb. His heart was breaking. “Please don’t cry.”

  “Shut up.” Carly whispered as she grabbed him and placed her lips on his. She broke the heart stopping kiss but kept her forehead against his, both were breathing as if they had run a marathon. If only a kiss would make them react like this…. “Just shut up Granger and love me tonight.”

  He needed no other invitation. He picked her up carrying her to the bed, kissing her the whole way. Although he had just put his boots back on he happily kicked them off, without breaking contact.

  The kiss seared him to the core, ripped him open. Hope replaced the empty whole that was left of his heart. He loved this woman more than anything in this world and he would show her without words how much she meant to him.

  I want this. She thought to herself in amazement and fear. Passion soared as his kiss deepened. There was magic that night that neither comprehended but neither wanted to try to.