Her Sweet Surrender (Brie's Submission Book 21), Page 2

  Sir had never opened up about what happened to him in China. His journal was the only insight she had of that time he’d spent alone with Lilly. She’d memorized the entry Sir had written after reading it repeatedly while he was in the hospital fighting for his life:

  Babygirl,

  My head still isn’t right. I can’t think, I can’t eat, and my body won’t stop shaking. I feel as if I’ve been poisoned. But, if so, it would be a poisoning of my own doing. It was meant to be a simple night of celebration at Lilly’s insistence. Even I got caught up in her enthusiasm, partially hoping for her sake that she was right about Mother’s recovery so I wouldn’t have to see the devastation in her eyes when the scan came back proving the woman was brain dead.

  You know I don’t overindulge, but we did drink several concoctions at a local bar. How much and what they were, I can’t say. The night quickly became a blur. I felt like a frat boy when I woke up in my hotel room the next day, unaware of how I had gotten there. More disturbing was the fact that my clothes were dirty and torn. Again…I have no recollection why.

  Seeing my sorry condition, I stumbled to Lilly’s room to check on her. She was slow to answer and in the same disheveled state. When I asked her about it, she only shook her head. It seemed her memory was as compromised as mine.

  I wasn’t able to go to the hospital that day as I felt too sick to leave my bed. Lilly told me she’d felt well enough by the afternoon to visit Mother and saw her eyelids flutter. Her false hope struck me the wrong way.

  I guess it may have been the aftereffects of alcohol, but I lashed out. Whatever the case, I made the girl cry when I told her Mother would never recover because she’s already dead. I didn’t care that she refused to speak to me for the rest of the day. I needed time alone to recover.

  That’s when the dreams started. I was awakened repeatedly by nightmares littered with disturbing images and unholy screams. It’s been two days, and I’ve still been unable to rest—and the shaking won’t stop.

  Lilly is overly concerned and has become highly attentive, trying to force herbal remedies and local soups down my throat. It grates on my nerves and I keep sending her away.

  I want no one near me but you. However, I don’t trust myself.

  Babygirl, I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel as if I have entered a black hole I won’t return from…

  Recalling those last words still gave Brie goosebumps.

  They now knew Lilly had accidentally given him an overdose, which almost killed him. However, Sir had had no idea he’d been drugged at the time. Brie could only imagine the horrors he experienced while he faced hallucinations he thought were real.

  “How are you handling this, Sir?”

  He shook his head, frowning. “It doesn’t matter.”

  Brie reached up and caressed his clenched jaw. “It matters to me.”

  “Protecting you is the only thing that matters, babygirl.”

  She gazed deep into his eyes. “I’m not the only one who was hurt by Lilly.”

  Sir’s frown deepened. “I’d rather not talk about it. It only stirs up memories that are best left in the past.”

  “But, Sir…” Brie began softly.

  He glanced at her, saying nothing as he continued to bounce Hope on his knee.

  She understood he wanted her to drop it, but she knew it was eating him up inside. “Holding all those feelings and memories in will only hurt you in the end.” She added in a gentle voice, “Don’t let Lilly have that kind of power over us.”

  Sir growled under his breath. “I have never been in a darker state of mind than I was in China.”

  Brie shivered, remembering how different he’d been when she arrived—so cold and remote, almost heartless.

  “Even though I realize now the horrors I experienced were drug-induced, I haven’t been able to forget them. At the time, it caused me to question everything about myself—and you.”

  Her bottom lip trembled. “I hardly recognized you when I arrived.”

  “I…” Sir closed his eyes, his voice tinged with anger and guilt. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you.”

  Although Brie had been hurt at the time, she felt overwhelming compassion for him now. “I didn’t understand what was wrong, but I never doubted we would work through it.”

  “Always faithful,” he stated with a sad smile.

  “I’m completely devoted to you.”

  Sir stared at her, his gaze intense and unreadable. “I hope it doesn’t become your undoing, babygirl.”

  “It won’t,” she assured him, but she could feel the intensity of his rage growing inside him.

  Sir’s lips curled into a snarl. “To be grossly manipulated like that by my own sister makes my skin crawl.”

  Brie shuddered. “I hate that she did that to you.”

  Sir turned away from Brie, stating in a far-off voice, “Not knowing what really happened still haunts me to this day. The screams. I will never forget the horrifying screams.” His voice caught when he added, “I think they were mine.”

  A chill coursed down Brie’s spine. She squeezed him tightly wishing she could turn back time and prevent Lilly from ever hurting him. “I’m so sorry, Sir.”

  He huffed angrily. “You are not the one who should apologize. I let my guard down and it almost cost you and Hope your lives.”

  “It isn’t your fault. None of this is.”

  He shook his head, looking down at their daughter protectively. “I never should have trusted a product from my mother’s loins. I knew better than that, but I—”

  “You wanted a family. Everyone longs for that connection, Sir.”

  “It is a weakness. I failed to protect the person most precious to me because I was blinded by it. There is no excuse.”

  Brie squeezed him even tighter. “It is not a weakness, but a strength. I’m grateful that family means everything to you.”

  Sir grimaced. “Because of my actions, your life and those of our children continue to be threatened.”

  “I refuse to let Lilly have that kind of power over us!”

  “And yet, she does—even now,” he replied coldly.

  Brie shivered, leaning down to kiss Hope on the top of her head. It was true. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, she would always be afraid for Hope.

  Sir’s eyes flashed with anger. “It would be much easier to eliminate the threat and be done with her, but even that would not be enough for me.” His voice turned icy when he shared, “I remember what she told Mary when she was at the Tatianna Legacy Center. When I think about her wanting to torture our daughter it makes me want to do unspeakable things to her. I need Lilly to suffer with the same intensity we have.”

  The severity of his hate was palpable.

  She glanced at Hope. “It’s natural to feel that way as her father, Sir. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

  He stared at her, shaking his head slowly. The dangerous glint in his eyes became more ominous when he told her, “I am my mother’s son, and Lilly brings out the worst in me.”

  His words chilled her to the bone.

  Hope started fussing in his arms.

  “You don’t mean that, Sir.”

  “But, I do.” He stared at her so intently that it frightened her. “In that way, she and I are very much alike.”

  Brie struggled to breathe.

  While she understood why he wanted to hurt Lilly, if Sir were to do such a thing, she knew it would fundamentally change him. It would open the floodgates of his inner darkness, a darkness he held barely in check at times, and she feared there would be no coming back.

  More than that, she would never be able to look at Sir in the same way again. It would create a rift so deep it would destroy them as a couple.

  “Your sister is an inhuman monster, but you are not her,” she insisted. “You are far too strong to let your inner demons control you.”

  She heard his sharp intake of breath and waited for his reaction, her hea
rt beating rapidly in her chest.

  Brie knew the two of them stood on a dangerous precipice. His instinctual need to protect her might become the driving force that would end up destroying him.

  Hope began fussing in his arms again and started to cry.

  Sir glanced down at his daughter. “Even my daughter can sense it in me.” He tried to hand Hope back, but Brie refused to take her.

  “Hope senses your inner struggle—nothing more.”

  He looked unconvinced but stood up and carried Hope to the large window overlooking the ocean. Rocking her in his arms, he murmured, “There, there. No tears, my little angel. Everything will be okay.”

  Brie knew Sir would never hurt the people he loved, and she wasn’t afraid of facing his inner demons.

  However, she was terrified those dark feelings he kept so tightly bottled would eventually end up ripping him apart. Walking up to them both, Brie put her hand on his back while wrapping an arm around Hope.

  She could feel how incredibly tense he was. “I have a request, Sir.”

  He turned his head and stared at her.

  “Talk to someone. If not me, someone you trust.”

  “Brie…” he muttered in protest.

  “Please.”

  Sir growled under his breath but did not say no.

  Despite his obvious displeasure, Brie was relieved that he was considering talking to someone. It was the only way he could work through those dark places he hid from the world—and himself.

  Brie closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest.

  We will find a way.

  Her cell phone rang, breaking the heavy silence.

  Brie walked over to pick it up, wanting to see who it was before she answered it. “It’s Kylie, Sir.”

  “Good. We’ve been concerned about her.”

  Brie forced herself to smile when she answered the phone, wanting to hide the concern in her voice. “Hey, Kylie.”

  “Sorry to call so early, but Faelan said you were worried.”

  “I appreciate the phone call.” She glanced at Sir. “We have been worried about you ever since Faelan rushed out to meet you at the emergency room.”

  “There’s no need for concern,” she giggled.

  “Why? What happened?”

  “I was filing some papers and felt a little woozy. Before I could sit down, I must have passed out because I woke up on the floor, looking up at all of my coworkers, who kept asking if I was okay. Funny thing is, I don’t even remember hitting the ground. It was bizarre.”

  “What did the doctor say was wrong?” Brie asked her, still worried.

  Kylie laughed. “That’s the best part. Nothing is wrong.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I fainted because…” She paused for a moment. “I’m pregnant.”

  “Oh, my goodness, Kylie! What wonderful news—except for the fainting part.”

  She laughed. “It was the last thing we were expecting. It isn’t as if we were even trying.”

  “So, when are you due?”

  “I don’t know yet. I need to make an appointment with an obstetrician. My periods have never been regular, so I don’t keep track and have no idea when the last one was.”

  “If you’re looking for a good obstetrician, I highly recommend Dr. Glas.”

  “Thanks! Text me his number when you get a chance. I’ll check him out.”

  “Of course. This is so exciting, Kylie! Just think of all of the fun play dates we will have with our kids being so close in age.”

  She laughed. “I’m still trying to process the idea that I’m going to be a mother. I hope you don’t mind me coming to you for advice if I need it.”

  “Not at all. I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have.”

  “I can’t believe I’m having a baby!” she cried, laughing.

  “How did Faelan take the news?”

  “It was adorable! He was so excited that he shook everyone’s hand in the waiting room. Even though we had planned to hold off having kids a few more years, we’re ready to start a family now.”

  “You’re going to make great parents,” Brie gushed. “When I think of the difference you’ve made in Faelan’s life, and now this…he’s lucky to have found you.”

  “I’m the lucky one,” Kylie insisted. “I’ve been admiring that guy since high school and watched every football game he played in high school. I still have to pinch myself sometimes. The fact that I’m having his baby seems crazy wonderful to me.”

  “Well, there’s no doubt you two were meant for each other,” Brie said, grinning at Sir.

  “I think so, too.” Kylie giggled. “It was written in the stars.”

  “Who else knows your big news? I don’t want to spoil your surprise.”

  “Just you and our parents right now. This is all too new for us. We’re still kind of in shock.”

  “Well, I’m honored to be one of the first to know. I’m so happy for you guys!”

  “Eep! I gotta go. Faelan just made me a breakfast fit for a queen.”

  Brie heard him in the background. Can’t let the woman carrying my child go hungry, now can I?

  “It’s only 5:30 in the morning. I’m not even hungry yet,” Kylie protested with a laugh before letting Brie go.

  Brie smiled as she hung up. “Well, it looks like Faelan and Kylie are starting a family.”

  “Was that the reason for the trip to the emergency room?” Sir asked, letting Hope down to crawl on the floor. They both watched as Shadow suddenly appeared and bounded up to her, rubbing his head against her cheek. Hope filled the room with a happy squeal.

  Sir chuckled as he walked to the couch to sit down. Brie joined him but chose to kneel at his feet, wanting to lay her head on his lap.

  “Kylie fainted at work and scared everyone,” she answered, then giggled softly. “Won’t her coworkers be surprised when they find out the reason why?”

  “I am happy for them both,” Sir stated, staring at Hope as she played with the cat.

  Brie was grateful for the unexpected interruption. The happy news seemed to have put Sir in a better mood.

  She purred softly when he began stroking her hair. “We will find a way through this, babygirl.”

  “I know we will, Sir.”

  Payback

  Brie hadn’t heard a peep from Rytsar for several days. It was unlike him not to call or drop by for a spontaneous visit. Then, on her morning walk down the beach, she noticed all the lights were off in his beach house as if no one was home.

  Needing to know what was up, Brie decided to call him when she returned home.

  “Radost moya, I can’t talk right now,” he answered curtly.

  Hearing the seriousness in his tone, she immediately blurted, “Is everything okay?”

  She overheard Captain’s voice in the background. “There should be a turn up ahead on the right…”

  Her heart began to race. “Are you in Russia?”

  “Da, I am on the errand we discussed.”

  Brie’s heart sank. “You left without telling us?”

  He chuckled lightly. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

  “Rytsar—”

  “I must go, radost…” The phone call began to break up. “…we’re out of range…”

  “When can I expect you to call again?” she asked. She was desperate not to lose the connection before he answered.

  “We…”

  Brie held the phone closer to her ear, hoping to hear his last words before the connection died completely. “…days until—”

  The phone suddenly beeped twice, letting her know the phone call had been disconnected. She stared down at it forlornly.

  “What was that all about?” Sir asked, walking out of his office.

  “Rytsar already left for Russia with Captain.”

  “I was aware he wanted to leave soon but had no idea they’d left the country.”

  She sighed anxiously. “I wish they didn’t have to go…�
��

  Sir wrapped an arm around her. “This is simply a fact-finding mission. There is no reason to worry about either man.”

  Brie frowned. “I don’t trust anything that involves Lilly.”

  “I happen to agree.” Sir brushed his hand on her cheek tenderly. “Which is why I am taking your advice.”

  “Sir?”

  “You were right when you said Lilly still holds power over me.”

  She looked at him in concern. “It’s understandable, Sir.”

  Placing his finger on her lips, he told her, “No need to make excuses for me, babygirl. It is time I dealt with it. Although, if I am being honest, the prospect of it is terrifying.”

  She could only imagine how difficult it was for him to face the betrayal and manipulation he’d suffered at the hands of his sister. She was grateful he was seeking help but had naturally assumed he would go to Rytsar since they were like brothers. However, with the Russian out of the country, she realized she had been mistaken.

  “Is there anything I can do to help?” She felt a deep need to support him.

  He nodded. “Actually, there is. Although I plan for it to be a private meeting, I would like you to come with me.”

  Brie was moved that he wanted her near. “It would be my honor, Sir.”

  “I’ll make the arrangements then.”

  Brie wrapped her arms around him, knowing the courage it took to not only be vulnerable in front of another on such a deep and personal level but to face head-on the demons his sister had wrought.

  Master Anderson surprised them with an unexpected visit a few days later. The moment Brie opened the door, she knew something was up because the sexy Dom was hiding something behind his back.

  “Whatcha got there, Master Anderson?”

  He took off his cowboy hat and was about to answer her, when Brie heard a muffled meow.

  Master Anderson chuckled. “Guess the cat’s out of the bag.” He held up the cat carrier he’d been hiding.

  Brie leaned in to see and was thrilled when she recognized who it was. “You brought Shadow’s son Ghost Pepper?”

  He winked. “I did.”

  Sir came up behind Brie and stared at the cat carrier, shaking his head. “No. Turn around right now and leave. I’m not housing another feline, no matter how much you beg.”