In my vital role as part of the 8%
Two weeks later
Chloe invites me over for dinner
XIV
CHLOE
Somewhere in the supermarket
JEREMY
Should we get fish or steak?
CHLOE
Fish or steak . . . What does your sister like better?
JEREMY
What do you like better?
CHLOE
How about you? What do you like better?
JEREMY
No, you.
CHLOE
Well, I like . . .
Then we kiss in front of everybody
Other couples look at us smiling
Here
There’s no one strolling alone
We’re finally part of society
We’re finally part of the group
Of the gang
With all of you
It’s great
All of us together
JEREMY
Me too: I like . . .
Then we kiss again
CHLOE
Stop. It’ll take two hours to buy dinner. Your sister’s coming at six.
JEREMY
Fish or steak? Or would you rather I made roast beef?
CHLOE
Do I like roast beef? I can’t remember any more if I like it.
JEREMY
You love it.
CHLOE
Okay!
JEREMY
Great.
CHLOE
And we laugh
And we laugh
And we laugh
I’m finally at home in the supermarket
In the personal-care aisle
In front of the razors
I look away
JEREMY
He’s all by himself.
CHLOE
I know.
JEREMY
It breaks my heart.
CHLOE
Me too.
We kiss
The guy who is all by himself smiles
He’s looking partly at us
Partly at empty space
He’s clasping one hand in the other
Like he’s wishing it was someone else’s hand
But there’s no one for him
Except the smiling girl posing
On a pack of men’s razors
Let’s go. It’s too depressing.
JEREMY
Maybe we should introduce him to my sister.
Then at that very moment
A girl comes over to join him
CHLOE
We feel relieved
To say the least
JEREMY
Next stop the freezer section
Tonight
We’ll have ice cream for dessert
We love ice cream
CHLOE
We love chocolate ice cream
JEREMY
My love?
CHLOE
Yes, bunny?
JEREMY
You’d be worried, right, if I left the house one morning looking very sad?
CHLOE
Are you all right?
JEREMY
Promise me you won’t let me do that.
CHLOE
I promise, my love. If necessary I will throw myself between you and the bullet you’re trying to fire into your head.
JEREMY
I love you.
I love you.
XV
BRIDGET
On the street
The winter is brutal
I couldn’t wear my nice dress to go have dinner at Jeremy and Chloe’s
I have six hundred and forty days of peace and quiet left
In two and a half months
Chloe will start shaving her legs less often
Her bikini line will be less and less well-groomed
Jeremy will take it personally
But he won’t tell her that
They’ll make love
But much less often than before
In four months
Jeremy’ll be hanging out with his buddies several times a week
When they ask him about his relationship
He’ll say that a guy’s a guy, y’know, he can’t help looking around
His buddies’ll understand
Patting him on the shoulder the way buddies do
In six months
Chloe will French another guy at a party
She won’t tell Jeremy
But she will feel guilty
In seven months
They’ll have stopped going to bed at the same time
In eight months
In nine months
In ten months
In eleven months
They’ll move into a bigger apartment hoping that will fix things
They’ll even pretend they want a baby
That’ll help them prolong their enthusiasm
Then when they figure out that’s not working
They’ll have a really hard time finding something else
A trip maybe?
After two years as a couple
Jeremy and Chloe will break up
I’ll find Jeremy in my clothes closet
And the whole thing
Will start all over again
Or not
Maybe not
I ring their doorbell
They come to meet me hand in hand
The End
Acknowledgements
As well as Diane Brown and Ruby Slippers Theatre, the translator would like to thank the members of her Vancouver writing group—Carmen Aguirre, Lucia Frangione, Meghan Gardiner, Gilles Poulin-Denis, Marcus Youssef, and especially Jovanni Sy—who repeatedly read and discussed the text with her. She also benefitted from the fine production by Vancouver’s Théâtre la Seizième of Deux ans de votre vie (in French, using her translation for surtitles), directed by Craig Holzschuh, featuring Cory Haas, Jessica Heafey, and Julie Trépanier.
Leanna Brodie is an actor, writer, and the translator of works by Quebec playwrights Louise Bombardier, Catherine Léger, Hélène Ducharme, and others. Her own plays include The Vic, Schoolhouse, For Home and Country and The Book of Esther.
“A reflection on the social pressures brought to bear on single people . . . It doesn’t draw conclusions, it’s very empathetic, very Québécois, yet also quite tough on prejudices and stereotypes. I found it highly intelligent and very well done.”
—Radio-Canada
“In the end, it doesn’t take much to make a good piece of theatre. You just need a good text, two or three well-chosen props, and actors capable of making you believe their incredible story. Deux ans de votre vie [You Are Happy] brings all of these elements together, but makes its mark above all thanks to the writerly voice of Rébecca Déraspe.”
—La Presse
“This absurd and refreshing fable written by Rébecca Déraspe . . . is like a cool breeze at the end of summer, and will surely provide an enjoyable evening for lovers of sprightly and intelligent theatre.”
—Canoe
“It’s a piece that blends
lightness and substance with dexterity. [ . . . ] A must-see.”
—LeQuatrième
“With a sparse set and witty dialogue, three actors command the stage in this story of forced love.”
—The Peak
“Delivers, in 60 short minutes of intelligent and mordant theatre, a defense of our rights as members of Generation Y to freely choose how we live our lives.”
—Le Devoir
You Are Happy © by Leanna Brodie
Frech text copyright © 2012 by Rébecca Déraspe. All rights reserved.
First published in French as Deux ans de votre vie by Lux Éditeur, Montreal, www.luxediteur.com.
First edition: March 2016
Cover photo of Julie Trépanier and Cory Haas by Emily Cooper, and designed by Jennifer Greenhorn with Esther Duquette for the 2015 Théâtre la Seizième production of Deux ans de votre vie.
No part of this book may be reproduced, downloaded, or used in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, except for excerpts in a review or by a licence from Access Copyright, www.accesscopyright.ca.
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Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Déraspe, Rébecca, 1983-
[Deux ans de votre vie. English]
You are happy [electronic resource] / Rébecca Déraspe ; translated by Leanna Brodie.
A play.
Translation of: Deux ans de votre vie.
Issued in print and electronic formats.
ISBN 978-1-77091-538-1 (paperback).--ISBN 978-1-77091-539-8 (pdf).--
ISBN 978-1-77091-540-4 (html).--ISBN 978-1-77091-541-1 (mobi)
I. Brodie, Leanna, 1966-, translator II. Title. III. Title: Deux ans
de votre vie. English.
PS8607.E715D4813 2016 C842’.6 C2016-900213-6
C2016-900214-4
We acknowledge the financial support of the Canada Council for the Arts, the Ontario Arts Council (OAC), the Ontario Media Development Corporation, and the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund for our publishing activities.