The Wedding Wager, Page 2

  I sighed. “I have no idea. I honestly don’t think I can tell either of them they can’t do it.”

  “What about telling both of them they can’t do it?”

  I looked up at Jake like he’d suddenly grown two heads. “Are you crazy? Have both of them pissed at me at the same time?”

  He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s your wedding.”

  My mouth dropped open. “It’s your wedding too.”

  He smiled the smile that always seemed to make my heart beat just a little faster. “I know. But the only thing I want is to make sure you get everything you want. I don’t care what your mother wants, or what Mattie wants.”

  I leaned away, resting back on my elbows. “I wish it was that easy. They both have such… strong personalities.”

  Jake rolled his eyes in agreement. “You think?”

  “The stupid thing is, I like both their ideas. Plus it would be so nice to have their help. I just wish they could find a way to work together or something.”

  Now Jake really laughed. “Those two could not be more different. There is no way in hell you are ever going to get them to cooperate.”

  “You don’t know that for sure,” I said, though deep down I knew I was kidding myself.

  No two people in the world were more headstrong, not to mention completely opposite.

  I kissed Jake on the cheek and got up. “I’m going to head back up. The yelling seems to have settled down a little.”

  “That’s only because you’re down here,” he said, smiling.

  I gave him a look, but he was probably right. I headed back up to the house anyway, the tension in my shoulders creeping in with every step.

  It was like a showdown. In the time I’d been gone, my sister had shown up and she sat on Mom’s side of the table. They were across from Mattie and Jennifer, who were clearly playing for the same team.

  My heart beat faster. Traditional vs. modern.

  By the looks on all their faces, there would be no in between. Compromise did not look like an option.

  I sat slowly at the end of the table… neutral.

  “Hey Rosie,” I said, hoping to feel out the situation.

  “Hey,” she said, not taking her eyes off Jen.

  Jen just glared back.

  Mom and Mattie were having a similar stare-off one seat down. I pulled on the collar of my t-shirt, which had somehow grown tighter in the last thirty seconds and cleared my throat.

  “So, how are we all doing?”

  Four heads turned to me in unison. Not one wore an expression of happiness, or even mild contentment. God, you’d think we were planning a wake instead of a wedding.

  “Um… everything looks really nice,” I said, motioning to the books and samples on the table.

  The heads all looked down for a moment and it was quite a relief having their attention on something else. They were just so… expectant. Waiting.

  I realized then that they wanted me to choose right then and there.

  Which I was so not prepared to do.

  How does a person make such a monumental choice for such an important day? Every time I thought about it, I wanted to cry. Not because it was going to be awful either way, but because it was going to be amazing either way.

  And they were all just staring at me. The Jeopardy theme song played in my head.

  “So, what I was thinking was, let’s try to find a way to work on all this together, okay?” I said.

  Four heads turned to look at me in unison, the looks on their faces very far from cooperative.

  “Seriously, there’s got to be a way to make everyone happy here.” I was rather proud of myself. For once I was the voice of reason.

  Of course, I immediately discovered why I chose to never be the voice of reason.

  Their voices exploded at the exact same time. At least it seemed that way, and they were all yelling right at me. I honestly couldn’t figure out what I had done that was so bad.

  Eventually, they turned from me and kept yelling, full volume at each other, fingers pointing and hands being thrown in the air.

  I backed the chair away from the table, and tried to get up, though I tripped over the chair, nearly falling over it as it crashed loudly to the ground.

  I turned to escape and the only thought that kept rolling over and over in my mind was, maybe I was the runaway bride. Of course, it wasn’t my future husband, or commitment, or fear of losing myself that was making me flee. It was the wedding itself.

  How ridiculous was that?

  I ran to the center of Jake’s beautiful front yard, which was looked after by a full-time gardener. The back of the property was gorgeous, of course, with the natural beauty of the lake and the forest, but the front was straight out of a fairy tale with flowers and trees and manicured rose bushes, and in the center was a quaint, little wishing-well.

  I sat on one of the carved stone benches and gazed inside, willing it to give me some answers. Or, you know, the guts to stand up to my friends and family. I sighed. Why did it have to be so hard? It was just that my mother was ecstatic to finally have something fun to do, and Mattie, well, Mattie should have been a professional planner as it was. Each of them was perfect for the job and I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there would be no right answer.

  I pulled out the Disaster Diary. Just looking at it made me feel a bit better. I mean, it had practically ruined my life, but there was nothing more therapeutic than getting all your worst moments out of your system. I mean, it obviously wasn’t the best thing in the world when the damned thing went public, but you know what? Even that most awful of moments made me realize that we were all just human, even the movie stars like Jake, who I think loved me even more after the whole Disaster Diary debacle.

  It also had a great way of making me realize sometimes we all take life just a little too seriously.

  I flipped to a random page.

  Dear Disaster Diary,

  It had taken so long to finally land a date with Greg, the cutest guy in homeroom. It was practically a miracle, everything went so perfectly on the first few dates, I had somehow even managed to avoid embarrassing myself, which, as you know is not something to take lightly. Life was magnificent. Until…

  It started out as a great day. The weather could not have been better, the sun was out in full-force for the pool party. I was so friggin’ nervous to meet Greg’s parents for the first time, and even more nervous to wear my bathing suit in front of Greg. With both things weighing on my mind, I was probably not at my most focused, but then the meeting of the parents went very well, and the whole bathing suit thing wasn’t that big of a deal since Mom had taken me to buy a very nice and very demure new suit just for the occasion.

  Greg’s parents were so great too, welcoming me with open arms, inviting me to make myself at home. They left us full use of the pool area while they headed out shopping for the day.

  Greg and I were dunking each other playfully, splashing water in each others’ faces, taking turns squirting each other with water guns just as we were just drying off nicely. The whole afternoon went off without a hitch.

  I excused myself to the bathroom and when I came back, I just couldn’t help myself. Greg was standing there with his back turned, totally oblivious to the fact that I was sneaking up behind him. And I was so stealthy too, tiptoeing lightly, not once making even the slightest sound.

  “Got ya!” I screamed, jumping onto his back. It was so funny too, we both nearly fell into the pool but somehow remained upright. But then someone came walking around the corner, and it made no sense because that someone was… Greg.

  My mind took forever to process, thinking: but if that’s Greg, then who…?

  And of course I was so flustered I didn’t let go for much too long, only realizing the person I had jumped onto was Greg’s dad after he started peeling my arms off him.

  The shame was enough to make me never look Greg in the face again. He looked so ticked, like I had done it on purpo
se or something. And the look his mother was giving me when I turned around to discover her there was not the same look of welcoming she’d given me just a few hours before.

  I closed the book and sat for a few minutes, then dug in my bag for a coin, taking a deep breath. Come on Universe, I thought, give me something. I closed my eyes and flicked the coin into the well, making my wish. “Please don’t make me choose,” I whispered, and a moment later a satisfying little splash followed.

  I opened my eyes again, not expecting anything, but I swear it was at that exact moment that I came to the epiphany.

  It was so simple. I would just put it off a little bit longer. Sure, it sucked when my mother and Mattie were both in the same place arguing over whose ideas were better, but that was a problem easily solved.

  Honestly, I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought of it sooner.

  “Hey,” Jake’s voice came drifting from behind me.

  “Hey,” I said, turning and smiling.

  He smiled back. “You’re looking less stressed,” he said, relieved.

  “I am. I think I figured out a way to make both of them happy, at least for now.”

  He cocked his head, obviously skeptical. “How?”

  I shrugged. “I just have to keep them away from each other.”

  He came to sit down beside me. “What do you mean?”

  “Just… don’t let them anywhere near each other, that’s all.”

  “That’s your plan? Let them both continue thinking they’re planning the wedding?”

  “Just for a little while, you know, until I decide which wedding plan I like better. There’s just way too much pressure to choose right now. I feel like my head’s still not on straight trying to process the fact that I, Josie McMaster… McMaster the Disaster, is marrying the world’s most famous movie star.”

  Jake rolled his eyes. “When are you going to stop calling me that already? It’s embarrassing.”

  “Probably never,” I said, leaning in for a kiss, feeling lighter than I had in weeks. “We’ll just head back to the city and Mom will go her way and Mattie will go his. Easy peasy.”

  “Okay,” he said, slowly, “just… make sure it doesn’t go on too long. Frankly I’m a little afraid of both of them.”

  I laughed uneasily, because I had to admit, I was a little afraid of both of them too.

  CHAPTER 3

  I eased my feet into the warm water and turned on the jets. Jennifer eased her feet into her own footbath and we both leaned back in unison, sighing.

  “What a day.”

  Jen let out a sort of noise of agreement. “So what are you going to do?” she asked.

  “I am not going to worry about it. I’m sure it will all work itself out.”

  Jen opened one eye, raising her eyebrow. “Really? You think Mattie, whose favorite thing in the world is to plan events, or your mother, whose favorite thing in the world is controlling things, will just somehow become worked out all on their own?” She shook her head and chuckled a little, leaning her head back again. “I sometimes wish I had your level of delusion. Life would be so much less stressful.”

  I reached into my bath and flicked a few drops of water on her.

  “I am not delusional,” I said. “I have just learned that these things tend to have a way of working themselves out.”

  She snorted. “Yeah, okay.”

  I turned on the soothing sounds clock radio, easing deeper into the couch and deeper into my relaxation.

  Until, that is, the door burst open and Mattie came flying through. “Have you seen these?” He asked, waving a pile of papers in front of him.

  I groaned. I was so over reading the tabloids. Honestly, you could only see so many lies about yourself until even you almost started believing them.

  “You are everywhere girl.”

  “So is it good or bad this time?” Jen asked.

  But of course, I knew the answer. It was always bad, even when it seemed good.

  “Both!” Mattie said excitedly, tossing a few of them my way and a few over to Jen.

  “Ooh la la,” Jen said, checking the front cover of the top one on her pile. “You are lookin’ smokin’ on this one,” she said, and I dared a peek.

  Thankfully, I did look pretty good. The picture was taken last month when Jake and I attended the premiere of the latest Clint Eastwood movie. Clint was currently courting Jake for his next big project. Jake looked unbelievable in his tux, and I was looking rather red carpet worthy in a black evening gown covered in beads that shone like glitter in front of the camera.

  I knew, however, that if I looked that good on the cover of one, I was going to look the same ratio of bad on the next. It was what they did. Back and forth from praising you to trashing you in the blink of an eye. They probably would have been happy with just the trashing, but they had to keep the interest of their readers somehow, and you couldn’t very well rip something to shreds if you hadn’t already painted the scenario into a picture of perfection. Oh how they love to see the mighty (much mightier than a person could possibly be in real life) fall.

  Mattie flopped onto the couch beside me, adjusting his thick, black-rimmed glasses. Seriously, he looked like he’d just popped the lenses out of those 3D monstrosities they hand out at the movies. Somehow though, he actually pulled it off.

  “Check this one,” he said, waving it in my face as I cringed away. “They’re taking bets on when the wedding’s gonna be.”

  I sighed. “What else is new?”

  Jen laughed over on her couch. “Oh my God, this one is having a shoe poll.” She flipped to the page in question. “Which designer will the bride choose? Will it be a Choo-tiful wedding after all?”

  I opened my eyes just to roll them.

  “Not if I have anything to say about it,” Mattie piped in from the peanut gallery.

  I closed my eyes quickly again and prayed that his comment would slip by without me having to acknowledge it.

  Of course, a lovely awkward silence just had to follow.

  “Oh good Lord,” Jen finally said after what felt like a millennia. “This one has four experts giving their opinion on when the divorce will be finalized.”

  “What divorce?” I said, only half paying attention.

  “Your divorce.”

  I shot up, grabbing the paper out of her hand. “They’re talking about my divorce? I haven’t even planned the wedding yet!”

  “We haven’t even planned the wedding yet,” Mattie said, gently pulling the paper out of my hand and folding it up neatly into four so the headlines were obscured by a mostly naked couple making out in the middle of a forest. The background was all washed out in muted rose tones and a pink perfume bottle with the word ‘lust’ splashed across it took center stage. But it was still really hard to stop staring at the couple.

  They were just so… mostly naked and making out.

  I squinted, thinking the girl looked familiar for some reason. It only took a minute to realize it was Istranka, and it looked like she was adjusting just fine to her new life in America. I couldn’t help but smile, remembering of the seemingly innocent girl who’d been so self-conscious at the party the other night, because the girl on that paper did not look self-conscious in the least.

  “Josie! Are you even listening?”

  I turned my gaze from Istranka and her model boy.

  “Huh? Yeah, I’m listening, what did you say?”

  He rolled his eyes dramatically. “I said we haven’t even planned the wedding yet, right?”

  I glanced around the room. Jen was avoiding my gaze at all costs.

  “Um, yeah, exactly. We haven’t planned the wedding yet.”

  Mattie sat back, pleased. “I’m just glad I don’t have to be there when you break the news to your mother that there is no way you are ever going to be caught dead in a traditional, stuffy wedding like that ridiculous formal event of hers. I mean, can you even imagine? A movie star and a glitterati getting married in a place that prete
ntious? The paparazzi would have a field day. Oh my God, they’d probably call you a princess.” He shook his head like it was the most ridiculous thing he could imagine. “My trendy warehouse in the up-and-coming industrial turned residential area is going to be so much better. I mean seriously, where’s the flair in an old castle?”

  I grinned through my teeth and nodded. The truth was, my mother’s castle idea did have my heart fluttering when I’d first seen it. She really did have an eye for the extravagant. I also couldn’t figure out what was wrong with princesses. I mean, not the Disney kind or anything, but the real life ones like Diana or Grace were just a little bit awesome, in my humble opinion.

  Of course, Mattie’s warehouse was a lot cooler and would fit more people, but I actually thought it might end up being a little too big, though Mattie insisted the acoustics would be to die for.

  I picked up another magazine, hoping to change the subject, anything would be better than the wedding. Except of course, the stupid tabloids were all talking about the wedding. They were guessing what our first song was going to be, possibilities for bridesmaids, if I was going to hold my own bridesmaid lotto (not on your life!), what flavor of cake we would have.

  Anything they could think of.

  Everything they could think of.

  I threw one of them across the room. Wasn’t planning a wedding supposed to be fun? I mean, did every bride have the same problem? A problem mother, perhaps. But a problem wanna be event planner slash designer slash stylist? Probably not so much.

  Mattie and Jen looked at me like I had lost my mind.

  “So, I gotta get going,” Mattie said. “Maybe I should take these with me.”

  I waved him off. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine. Just a little stressed, that’s all.”

  I nodded knowingly. “You gonna go call you Mom? I completely understand. She is going to pitch a fit,” he said. “Later y’all.”

  And with that he was gone.

  I slumped into the couch.

  “You’re seriously going to tell your mother that Mattie’s going to plan the wedding?”