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    A Beautiful Composition of Broken

    Page 7
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      most of my critics

      are only critical of me

      because i continue

      to move beyond

      the limitations

      they’ve set on my craft

      and most of the hate

      i’ve received from other writers

      is derived from

      their inability to achieve

      what i’ve achieved

      i am totally accepting

      of their defeat

      i am completely content

      with winning

      above the rest.

      when you insult my words

      you insult my readers

      but insulting my art, me

      and my supporters

      does nothing but keep you

      stranded beneath us

      royal.

      Samantha King

      queen of my future

      a ruler on her own

      a warrior

      through and through

      a painful thought.

      it’s the memories

      the painful ones

      what we remember

      poisons the heart

      higher up.

      you belong to the night

      next to the brightest stars

      in sync with the moon

      above the earth

      your own reflection.

      i was a mirror

      in our relationship

      and maybe you left

      because you didn’t like

      what you saw

      a beautiful mess.

      i traveled to the messiest

      parts of her mind

      and found beauty there

      forever summer.

      you make winters feel hot

      i’m in desperate need

      of your warmth

      sad melodies.

      you helped me relate

      to the saddest of songs

      my heart ran blue

      because of you

      introverted war.

      it’s like i want to be alone

      but i want to be touched

      in daydreams.

      she lives inside of her head

      to escape the reality

      surrounding her

      never felt like home.

      home is where the heart

      can feel secure and safe

      i was homeless

      when loving you

      for love, for you.

      but i’d drain the entire ocean

      to keep you from drowning

      an empty love.

      you said enough

      to make me believe

      but never enough

      to keep me from leaving

      foolish denial.

      i let you break me

      then waited for you

      to fix me

      6:05 a.m.

      it happens

      you know

      sometimes

      broken people

      break others

      you were allowed.

      what truly hurts

      is that i was happier

      before you arrived

      and letting you in

      was like inviting chaos

      into my life

      allowing you

      to invade my peace

      all for love, irony.

      isn’t it ironic

      how the need for love

      draws us closer to hate

      the love you desire.

      the best kind of love

      is the one that never ends

      it’s there whenever you need it

      it holds on without letting go

      lights.

      you need only to be with someone

      who brings out the light in you

      be.

      be who you are

      stand tall in what you believe

      accept yourself

      don’t wait for the world

      to love you

      love is many things.

      another person’s sexual orientation

      has nothing to do with you

      and your criticism of who

      they choose to love

      is unimportant and irrelevant

      love, your way.

      do not hide your love

      behind the hatred of others

      do not allow others

      to dictate who

      or how you love

      deep heaven.

      kiss the hell out of the one

      who helps you find heaven

      on earth

      be loud.

      if women

      were silent

      the world

      would lose

      its voice

      if women

      held back

      the world

      would lose

      its strength

      6:31:05 a.m.

      the supporting of women

      the encouraging of women

      the motivation of women

      doesn’t in any way

      equate to hating men

      6:34:30 a.m.

      just because

      you are kind to her

      doesn’t mean

      she owes you sex

      6:37:10 a.m.

      do not trade in your strength

      to make him feel stronger

      do not exchange your voice

      for his comfort

      everything is everything.

      i will always be too much

      of everything

      for someone who is incapable

      of being everything to me

      yours truly.

      your beauty is yours

      your body is yours

      you are yours

      you don’t exist for them

      a danger.

      sadly

      the biggest danger to us all

      are the people we trust

      they have the keys

      to violate us in the worst of ways

      you’re not worthy.

      disliking you as much

      as you hate me

      would require

      an emotional commitment

      that you don’t deserve

      moving on, self-love.

      it ended

      because i realized

      that you didn’t love me

      like i love me

      none.

      no tolerance for

      racism

      sexism

      and homophobia

      zero tolerance

      for anyone

      who thrives upon hatred

      8:29:10 a.m.

      without a doubt

      i can

      and i will

      free myself

      below busy feet.

      the busy have no time

      to respond to the criticism

      from those hating below them

      Aries.

      the goal is to avoid boredom

      and never grow content with being lazy

      or doing nothing

      the mundane.

      i seem to attract hatred

      and criticism

      from people who are content

      with achieving less than me

      i find that these individuals

      travel in packs, fueled by hatred

      or their inability to accomplish

      the things that the people they hate on

      have done

      they’re always so mundane

      and boring with their lackluster

      and unoriginal insults

      screaming loud but their voices

      muffled under thei
    r ignorance

      stretching out their bitter, short arms

      toward people like me

      yet i remain out of reach

      almost untouchable

      and they’ll always be laughable

      to say the least

      more reading, more peace.

      i’ve gone mad

      and the library

      is my asylum

      my peace of mind

      my heaven on earth

      from voices, we evolve.

      speak, woman

      tell me everything

      tell the world

      do not be silent

      yell if you need to

      i want to listen

      i want to learn from you

      i want to evolve

      based upon your wisdom

      you inspire a difference

      come, speak

      change the world

      everyone and their opinions.

      do not allow the path

      of your life

      to be altered by people

      who have no path

      to follow

      painful conclusion.

      no one is hurting more

      than the people

      who are silent about the pain

      that lives within their souls

      why i write.

      i write poetry

      because it’s much easier

      to write it down

      than to say it out loud

      without breaking down

      lying in the mirror.

      you can lie to others

      sometimes successfully

      but you can’t tell a lie

      to yourself successfully

      because no matter what you do

      every night before you fall asleep

      the truth will look you in the eye

      and burn a hole within your mind

      inspired self.

      be inspired

      by the pain you feel

      and your heart’s ability

      to keep fighting

      you are powerful

      mighty beyond measure

      she, godly.

      she could calm the ocean

      with a glance

      she could quiet a storm

      with a whisper

      all-powerful

      all-beautiful and all-knowing

      she’s a woman

      and that made her

      some sort of god

      broken, a healing process.

      being broken is the beginning

      it’s the process of rediscovering

      what it means to feel whole once more

      some of you may believe

      that getting hurt is the end

      but the pain that you experience

      gives way to a path that may lead

      to something more beautiful

      or stronger than what you’ve had

      it’s okay to feel hurt

      there’s nothing wrong

      with feeling broken

      the pain is never easy

      but never be ashamed

      to feel whatever it is you feel

      do not think less of yourself

      because of someone’s inability

      to do more or give you more

      of what you deserve

      our ending, new beginnings.

      i’ll be the one

      you couldn’t keep

      i’ll be the memory

      that hurts the most

      i’ll be the greatest loss

      in your life

      i’ll be the one

      you’ll never be able

      to come back to

      all because i love me more

      than you ever could

      someone, searching for you.

      you don’t know it yet

      but there is love lurking

      around the corner

      there is something truly beautiful

      waiting for you in the distance

      you don’t know it yet

      but there is someone

      searching for someone

      with a love like yours

      there is someone

      searching for someone

      who can love them

      the way you do

      it gets better, hold on.

      three years ago

      i wrote myself a note

      i wrote a letter to others

      as well

      detailing the pain

      and suffering that lived

      within my soul

      three years ago

      in that letter, the note

      i wrote down from my heart

      my mind, my wretched soul

      detailing what was next

      a desire to take my last breaths

      three years ago

      i wanted to die

      three years later

      i feel so fucking alive

      :38 after.

      away i go

      conflicted

      broken like glass

      for a love

      that wasn’t real

      no space.

      you see

      this is what i get

      trying to force my love

      in places

      where it was never meant

      to fit

      OCD I.

      i understand

      no judgment here

      we all need to be

      in control of something

      you don’t have to be ashamed

      you don’t need to hide this from me

      OCD II.

      your ability

      to be orderly

      is not some disease

      your desire

      to maintain control

      is not some disease

      your rituals

      are simply several attempts

      to get it right

      your desire

      to achieve order

      is not a disorder

      a beautiful composition.

      i wanted to tell you

      that the OCD is not a curse

      it’s just a gift that the world

      doesn’t understand

      i wanted to tell you

      that the anxiety you feel

      is just proof of your ability

      to feel deeper levels of emotion

      that others may not be able

      to comprehend

      i wanted to tell you

      that the depression you experience

      causes you to view the world

      from a perspective that goes

      beyond the surface

      a surface that so many minds

      can’t handle

      and that in itself makes you rare

      and mighty, you’re strong

      the world says you’re broken

      but that just means you’re beautiful to me

      untitled II.

      you are beautiful

      you are powerful

      you are rare

      you are grand

      you are majestic

      your broken

      is a gift

      the pain

      will make you

      stronger

      keep fighting

      continue to survive

      i’ll fight beside you

      April 1st.

      she doesn’t have to look good

      for you

      wear makeup for you

      be thin for you

      cook and clean for you

      she is not for you

      she doesn’t belong to you

      a true form of love.

     
    real love isn’t something

      you force

      real love is not something

      you compete for

      real love will never have you

      compromise your peace and joy

      April 2nd I.

      demand the love you deserve

      and be willing to walk away

      from anyone who refuses

      to reciprocate the love

      you provide

      April 2nd II.

      no woman should feel like

      she has to try harder for someone

      who isn’t trying for her

      April 2nd III.

      it’s not your fault

      you were never the problem

      you can’t be everything

      to someone

      who deserves nothing

      from you

      i now know.

      you could never be

      what i needed

     


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