and i felt myself
slipping away
while chasing after you
with the absence of you.
apparently i never needed you
i know this now
as i found everything i wanted
without you here
you, a delight.
you are an unforgettable moment
a lifetime of delight
don’t let them fool you into thinking
that your presence means nothing
don’t let them fool you into thinking
that somehow you’re ordinary
Dahlia.
i haven’t spoken to my mother
in such a long time
so long, that pieces of me
have begun to fade
into everything we used to be
and everything i used to feel
becomes lost with time
too long, the distance.
it takes us too long
to figure out that love
doesn’t have to hurt
and the love we give
is too precious to be given away
to someone who refuses
to give it back
remember before.
who were you
before sadness overran your heart
i hope you remember
what it felt like to be happy
on your own, within.
find your calm
reclaim your peace
re-create the love
you couldn’t find in others
become it.
the only one worthy of you
is you
in this moment
you only need yourself
become the love
that they refused to share with you
be loud, no silence.
find your strength
find the courage
reclaim your voice
and say what you need
to say
do not be silent
be loud
be unapologetic
be entirely you
without regret
distancing a memory.
every day since we ended
i’ve developed new ways
to push you further
from my memory
i want you out
of my mind
as i recall.
a strong memory
is the destroyer
of the heart
starlit.
count the stars
that live within yourself
you’re brighter than you know
:09.
loving you drained my spirit
:11.
do it
on your own
do it
for yourself
do it
at your own pace
:14.
i know too much
and say too little
while screaming
on the inside
fin, love.
we ended
i was never yours
to have, to hold
to keep
mind, the enemy.
i struggled to forget
but you’ve forgotten me already
read, lover.
books stained with the tears
of the reader with the broken heart
books held tight
like lovers in the dark
sometimes all you have are the words
sometimes all that’s left
are the books
text ignored, no response I.
please
text me back
are you
still mad
say something
if not anything else
tell me what to do
i’ll do better
i can be better
help me understand
can i have another chance
submerged, fighting.
i’m here
in the deep end
struggling to save myself
while you watch me drown
text ignored, no response II.
please don’t leave me
i get it now, i understand
i still need you
we were happy
i don’t know what changed
are you there
are you listening
don’t shut me out
fade into shadows.
we were happy once
the sun shined its light
on us, together
but the love faded
into the shadows of the sunset
and here we are
filled with nothing
showing shades of emptiness
a void no longer filled
with love and respect
strangers again, again.
we started as strangers
we ended that way
sometimes the beginning
is the same as the ending
my response I.
fuck the writers
who write irrelevant things
about me
because they’re incapable
of writing anything as relevant
as what i’ve written
my response II.
fuck the writers
who gang up to accuse
or abuse the authors
who achieve more than
they ever will
or ever thought possible
my response III.
may your hatred become a shovel
that digs your own grave
my hope is that you rest in peace
with the hateful words you spewed
directly or indirectly
these words, this book
in memory of all the people
who dislike me
or others like me
a funeral held for those
who will soon be forgotten
buried beneath my words
buried beneath my success
no longer.
after begging for a truth
that has been kept from you
emotional exhaustion sets in
you’ve been strong but now
you’re tired of being lied to
you’re tired of being denied
the respect that you’ve fought for
while fighting for a space in their life
the begging and pleading
is replaced with the silence of anger
the silence of resentment
the silence that seems the loudest
as your refusal to speak
screams of your disappointment
and your newfound commitment
to yourself
a silent declaration of the desire
to now detach your heart
from the heart that hurts you
after demanding the truth for so long
you’ve reached your breaking point
untold tale.
sometimes i wish
i could take my secrets back
i hate the fact that you know me
in ways you didn’t deserve
aching.
it hurts
the pain of feeling nothing
the realization that being numb
is best
it hurts because
i’d like to feel again
but i’m afraid of feeling for
the wrong person
a quiet expression.
the silence tells me everything
a wordless expression
a quiet resentment and regret
you can almost hear everything
that isn’t being said
a nonexistent us.
i am becoming less afraid
of a reality that isn’t centered around us
i am becoming more accepting
of a life lived without you
blurred self.
all of this
all of that
all of me
but it was
never enough
the pursuit of you
destroyed my self-esteem
a teen spirit.
i want to slow dance to Nirvana
with you, love
agonize.
we search for something
to take the pain away
but what we find is someone
who causes more pain
a wishing well.
i really wish you well
i hope things get better for you
i hope you change your ways
i don’t wish the pain you caused me
on anyone else
and so i hope your heart learns
to feel love in its purest form
because if it doesn’t
you’ll miss out on something real
just as you missed out on being
with me
potion.
she refused to be anyone’s cup of tea
she was more so the finest glass of whiskey
vex.
it’s fucked up
because the people
who break you
are always okay
while you’re in pain
discern, you.
your smile breaks my heart
because it’s not real
and as much as i care
there’s nothing i can do
to help but give you these words
in hopes of letting you know
that you’re not alone
i see you . . .
comrade.
you are your own best friend
don’t abandon yourself
become everything you need
retain.
so many men know
what it takes to make
a woman fall in love
but most of them
can’t comprehend what it takes
to keep a woman in love
not adequate.
you were only good
at pretending to be
what i wanted
but you were never
good enough for me
looking glass.
sometimes everything you’re looking for
hides within your own reflection
it’s time to start looking for you
it’s time to start looking for yourself
tussle.
i know you can do this
if you can’t be strong
be brave, keep fighting
a sturdy heart.
and if on this day
all you did was smile
even while you wanted
to break down
be proud of yourself
for standing
while wanting to fall
factual.
a man who loves you
will not force you to compromise
your emotional well-being
or the health of your heart
campaign.
women are warriors
without physical weapons
the way they use their minds
to conquer whatever attempts
to break them
March 25th.
it’ll happen
you’ll either entertain
or fall for someone
who made you feel as if
they were the one
it happens often
you meet a person
you get to know them
feelings begin to surge throughout your heart
and you start to imagine
a future with that person
it happens to the best of us
things begin to change
that feeling of security
begins to fade
you find yourself fighting
to stay afloat on a boat
that is slowly sinking
you plug those holes with denial
you plug those holes with lies
telling yourself it’s okay
you make excuses
for the way that person treats you
you start to lose yourself
because you’re more concerned
with keeping a person that appears
to no longer care about keeping you
March 26th.
when you go back to someone
who mistreated you
you’re cheating yourself
out of an opportunity
to be with someone
who will always consider your feelings
her silence, a sign.
sometimes a woman’s silence
serves as proof that she no longer
gives a fuck
and you’re no longer worth
her energy
more, most.
you deserve the deepest
most sincere form of pleasure
December 27th.
i’m beginning to wake up
love is blind at times
but time also has a way
of waking us up to the bullshit
that often attaches itself
to loving someone who can’t provide
the same level of love
we express
we often settle
failing to realize
that there exists someone
capable of reflecting
the same level of love
we give them
January 1st.
loving the wrong person
provides a lesson
in what to look for
as far as warning signs
within your future relationships
January 1st, 8:55 p.m.
it’s amazingly sad
when someone fails to understand
how much you truly care for them
but you can’t hold on to that pain
one day they’ll look back
with so many regrets
and you’ll be with the one
who loves you back
you’ll be with someone
who would fight to keep you
January 4th, 5:43 p.m.
my heart is open once more
after being closed
while with someone
who promised to keep it safe
time alters what’s familiar
people change
you never see it coming
hesitant to love again
but again my heart is open
you’ve felt what i felt
so let us fall together
and i’ll help you fix
what he has broken
January 7th, 8:49 p.m.
before i get the chance
to place my hands on your skin
i’d first like the opportunity
for our souls to collide
our minds to be fully stimulated
and our hearts to be in sync
this is the
way i’d like to love you
January 7th, 8:26 a.m.
on this morning
i feel at ease
the stress has gone
i can’t truly explain what i feel
at this very moment
but it’s a feeling that has escaped me
for far too long
i’m okay
on a path to being happy again
8:39:52 p.m.
i’d love every part of you
if you allowed it
inside and out
5:27:15 p.m.
and the silence is all you have
to offer to those
you no longer give a fuck about
4:23:08 p.m.
what i desire more than anything
is a relationship with someone
who doesn’t mind the idea
of spending a lifetime with one person
7:52:20 p.m.
i couldn’t help myself