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Me, Jesus and Adam Ant, Page 1

Quelli di ZEd

Julio Roberts




  Me, Jesus and Adam Ant

  Me, Jesus and Adam Ant

  Copyright © 2012 Roberto Cadoppi

  Smashworlds Edition


  Picture of Julio Roberts

  It autonomously operates proposal from the author and not submitted to selection by the publisher


  This ebook, Zed Experiments series, was published as an experiment in English language with Zed Lab.

  The ZEdEx stories and novels are translated in a "hybrid" (automatic) version, waiting to be corrected by a reader who knows the reference language.

  Ideal for those who, precisely, has a good knowledge of the translated language but who may not know the source text language, and therefore would not be able to make a pure translation. Or even for those who, despite knowing a good level language translated, and its grammar, want to perfect it.

  If you believe this initiative interesting, you come with us in Zed Lab.

  With Zed Lab you can:

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   Ramón, my self depressed, keeps the hunger pangs at bay with crackers without salt.

  This explains the depression, but does not explain why his name is Ramon.

  Ramon pleasing a muffin?


  On the phone with Ramón, my self depressed ...


  "Yes, hello."

  "Hey, I'm Ramon."

  "Ramón how are you? Are you still in Rio de Janeiro in the footsteps of Elvis?"

  "Giaggià, but still nothing, I only found a former Nazi war criminal dead."

  "Dead and how did you find him if he's dead?"

  "No, no, when I found he was alive ..."

  "Ramón, do not forget that you are me, do not get in trouble right?"

  "Giaggià ..."

  "So, Elvis? Ramón Why do you want to find?"

  "I do not want him, I just want to find him."

  "But what's the point Ramón? '

  "Look for it and not find it makes me depressed your self, if you had not I would be more depressed and I should return to you."

  "Makes you so disgusting Ramón be me? "

  "No, not this, is that I live on my own."

  "We've talked about Ramon."

  "Giaggià ..."

  "Do not you hate it when you say giaggià Ramón."

  "Hey, fuck you!"

  "What the fuck ... Ramon, do not you dare ..."


  TU TU tuuu tuuu

  I closed the phone down! That is, my depressed me I closed the phone down! Bastard of a Ramón ...


  Ramón, my self depressed, find a trace of Elvis.


  "Yes, hello."

  "Hey, I'm Ramon."

  "Ramón, before you say anything, I warn you, even if I slam the phone down I'll kill you."

  "You can not do it, I am you, you would only of evil. "

  "Just the fact that you exist means that I do wrong."

  "Giaggià, but if I did not exist you would be condemned to smile for a lifetime, you know boredom ... Anyway, I called to tell you that I found a trace of Elvis. A spangle of his jacket, along the way. "

  "Ramón, a spangle along the way is not a trace of Elvis!"

  "Yes, it is."

  "Ramon, you know how many people there are in the world who wear jackets with sequins? "

  "Giaggià, and how many do you know?"

  "Me? Well ... no ... but it does not mean anything, just turn on the TV, there are a lot of people wearing jackets with the glitter on TV. "

  "But you teach me that TV is fiction.'s maids and presenters, after the show, wearing jackets austere and return home. Elvis no, he goes through the streets in a suit with sequins. Giaggià."

  "Ramon, you say a lot of nonsense and then finish it with that" giaggià ", dammit!"

  "Hey fuck you!"

  "Ramon! Look at me now inc ..."


  TU TU tuuu tuuu

  He did it again, Ramón, my self depressed, I attacked again the phone down! Bastard of a Ramón ...


  Ramón, my self depressed, I apologize ...


  "Yes, hello."

  "Hey, I'm Ramon."

  "Ramon, you have the nerve!"

  "Giaggià, but I called to apologize."

  "Really? Ramón surprise me. Okay, hear."

  "Let's hear what?"

  "How do we feel? Ramón Your excuses!"

  "But you got them first, at the beginning of the conversation."

  "But those were not excuses Ramón when at least one apologizes to say I'm sorry. "

  "I'm sorry."

  "Ramón, I do not seem to hear much these excuses, you add something, you do not have even suggested it."

  "I'm sorry I'm sorry."

  " Ramón, but you're stupid! "

  "Hey fuck you!"

  "Ramón, withdraws subit ..."


  TU TU tuuu tuuu

  Ramón, the day will come that I will not be depressed, you will return to me and you'll pay.


  Ramón, my self depressed, is another sign of Elvis ...


  "Yes, hello."

  "Hey, I'm Ramon."

  "I do not want to quarrel Ramón."

  "Giaggià, me neither. was calling to tell you I found another one of Elvis, a hair base, along the way. "

  "A hair base? Ramon, might not be a dog hair?"

  "It 'a hair base because I want it to be a hair base."

  "I just want to Ramón"

  "Will is power."

  " Ramón, speak for phrases. "

  "Without you are not to live like brute."

  "does not mean anything in this context, however, and Ramón is" You were not made ​​to live like brutes ", if anything."


  "You do not know that Ramón you say! "

  "Hey, fuck you!"

  "Ramon, I will ..."


  TU TU tuuu tuuu

  Ignorant of a Ramón ... A moment if he is ignorant, I am also ignorant. Help, ignorance, no! Ignorance no no! Ignorance no no no!


  Ramón, my depressed I was contacted by Ursula ...


  "Yes, hello."

  "Hey, I'm Ramon."

  "What do you Ramon?"

  "Do not treat me bad, I'm depressed."

  "Of course you're depressed Ramon, you're my depressed me."

  "You do not know the news."

  "What news Ramon?"

  "Today I was particularly morale did not find even a trace of Elvis and Ursula called me half an hour ago."

  "Ursula? Ramón, who is Ursula?"

  "It was presented as my self depressed."

  "What what? Ramon, are you saying that you, my self depressed, you in your turn one I depressed?"


  "You can not Ramon!"

  "Oh it's all right. He also slammed the phone down!"

  "Ahaaa now you know that it feels like Ramon."

  "Hey, fuck you!"

  "No wait Ramon, Urs tell me ..."


  TU TU tuuu tuuu

  Ramón has sublet my depression, I had overrated.


/>   Ramón, my self depressed, wants to marry Ursula, but ...


  "Yes, hello."

  "Hey, I'm Ramon, giaggià!"

  "Ramon, who pitched voice, what happened?"

  "Ursula and I are getting married!"

  "Ramon, you and Ursula? Have you just met."

  "Giaggià, but we love each other."

  "Ramón you sure that this thing can be done?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "I do not know Ramon, one depressed me, mine in this case, that you, who marries his ego depressed, that Ursula ..."

  "We do not find anything strange, I and Ursula are happy."

  "Ramon is exactly the point, two depressed how can I be happy?"




  "Ramon, you still there?"

  "I'm fading away, I'm happy and I'm fading, I go back to you. Back to you, no! Back to you, no no! Back to you, no no no, not now, I must marry Ursula!"

  "I'm sorry Ramon, who depressing situation."

  "Giaggià, depressing ... Hey, depressing! I'm not happy, I can marry Ursula Oh no, I'm happy again, I can not marry Ursula, I get down. Hey, I'm depressed, I can marry Ursula ..."

  "Damn Ramón, shut up!"

  "Hey, it's your own fault, fuck you!"

  "Ramon, did not give struck ..."


  TU TU tuuu tuuu

  Ramón poor, the mirage of happiness is freaking my self depressed.


  Ramón, my self depressed, back to doing what he does best ...


  "Yes, hello."

  "Hey, I'm Ramon."

  "Ramon, you have a voice from beyond the grave, there are problems?"

  "Giaggià ... Ursula."

  "Ramon, you and Ursula, your self depressed, do not you get married again?"

  "No, Ursula was a depressed I was very young and inexperienced, has not held up to all the happiness that caused our relationship and vanished, she returned to me."

  "What a shame. Ramón What will you do now?"

  "I will pick to do what I do best, look for Elvis."

  "Excuse me for saying Ramón but you just can not look for Elvis well well well."

  "Hey, fuck you!"

  "Ramon, I apologize hex ..."


  TU TU tuuu tuuu

  I had to use a little 'more than touch, Ramón, my self depressed at this time is a bit' depressed ...


  Ramón, the final act.

  I'm awake just as I make breakfast feel the unmistakable sound of a moped garelli, it is the postman of Shipston-on-Stour, Warwickshire, here where I live.

  From the window I see that puts a letter in my mailbox.

  I go out, as they are walking the path in Spongebob slippers and robe flannel.

  I open the box and retrieving the envelope.

  While I get home I observe it, is from Belo Horizonte, in the upper left corner as the sender's written