Love Me, Page 2

  Chapter Two

  Grandma

  Max watches his father’s shadow disappear behind a tan door and lets out a sigh.

  Things are going to get better, he tells himself. Mr. Shaw checking himself into a rehabilitation center is a good thing. It means he is finally ready to address his problem and not ignore it. Still, Max is overwhelmed. As he and Mr. Kent walk to the parking lot, loneliness begins to sink in. Max is on his own now.

  “You okay?” Mr. Kent asks. Max only nods. There are too many thoughts going through his head for him to try to express them all now. He walks quietly to Mr. Kent’s car, listening as he explains that everything will be all right, the move is only temporary, and he’ll still be able to visit his father.

  Max is grateful for Mr. Kent taking him in while his father is in rehab. If it weren’t for Mr. Kent’s tenacity, Max would probably be worse than his father. Max feels his chest tighten as he fights back tears. Though he knows it won’t change anything, Max wishes his mom were still alive.

  Mr. Kent pulls up to his apartment building and Max lets out another sigh. After his father explained the situation to Mr. Kent, Max’s probation officer, Mr. Kent offered to let Max stay with him. Mr. Shaw had been elated. He wanted Max to be with someone who would look after him and make sure he did what he was supposed to do.

  Max has a very healthy respect—and fear—of Mr. Kent; his intimidating physique almost ensures this.

  “It’s only six weeks,” Mr. Kent offers. “That time is going to fly by, Max.”

  Max nods silently as he enters the apartment. The smell of wood and furniture polish reminds him of the days when his mother would air out the house for spring-cleaning. It’s only February; apparently, Officer Kent wants to get a head start.

  “Hand me that bag and I’ll show you to your room.” Max hands him his duffel bag and follows him to his temporary room. One thing is obvious when he enters the room. It is nothing like home. The walls are completely bare, and it looks more like a barracks room than a bedroom. The bed is a standard size with beige and white sheets and a beige comforter. There is a small closet, a dresser, and a desk with a computer.

  The room feels very small, though it is nearly empty. He wonders if this is how Martin felt when he’d been forced to stay with Mr. James for a week.

  “I wasn’t sure what you wanted to bring, so I didn’t put too much in the room,” Mr. Kent says apologetically. “There’s no television in here, so if you want to play X-Box or PlayStation or watch cable, you’ll have to go to the living room. The bathroom’s down the hall, the kitchen is across from the living room. If you need anything just let me know, okay?”

  Max nods again and sits on the bed. “Is there anywhere to go on this side of town?” Mr. Kent lives on the West Side of Logoria, just beyond the old train tracks that divide the city. He is only a few miles from the church.

  “There’s a park up the street, a burger place a few blocks to the West, and Wellis High is right behind us. I know some of the teens who go to the church live in the area, so maybe you’ll catch up with them on the days you’re not at the hospital. You’ve only got a couple more weeks there, too. Make the most of them.”

  Mr. Kent leaves the room and Max flops onto the bed. He closes his eyes, trying his best to forget all his troubles.

  •••

  “Tammie! Give me a hand, will you?” Tammie’s mother calls her. Tammie rushes down the stairs and quickly grabs the bags of groceries in her mother’s hands. She winces as she grabs the first one, her cut from the broken glass still tender. Her mother is too busy shuffling between the car and the house to notice. Tammie places the bags in the kitchen and goes out to help her mother. After they finish bringing everything in, Tammie begins to put everything away.

  “Junk, junk, junk!” Tammie tsks as she pulls out bag after bag full of potato chips, pop tarts, and frozen dinners.

  “Well, since you have a boyfriend now, Miss Priss, we’ve had to fend for ourselves here at the house.” Her mother purses her lips, but Tammie detects an air of pride in her tone. Her mother likes Devon. Everyone likes Devon.

  Well, not everyone.

  Tammie thinks of Jennifer, her best friend. She hasn’t spoken to her in weeks; not since she told her she was pregnant. Jennifer had taken it hard, as if Tammie did it to spite her. Perhaps Jennifer is only jealous of Tammie and Devon’s relationship; Tammie isn’t sure, but she refuses to take Jennifer’s calls, anyway.

  “Mom, I don’t mind cooking. Just tell me when and I’ll make sure I have dinner ready.”

  “No, it’s okay Tammie,” her mother reassures her. “Besides, I’d better get some practice in before your grandmother gets here.

  “Grandma’s coming to visit?” Tammie asks nervously.

  “Yup,” her mother replies after rolling her eyes. “I could have waited another year to see her, but she insisted. I swear, whenever she comes to visit, she always has something to say. ‘Sadie, you can’t cook,’ ‘Sadie, your house is a mess,’ ‘Sadie your children run wild.’” Her mother looks at her helplessly. “Promise you’ll bail me out if she starts preaching?”

  Tammie smiles half-heartedly. Her grandmother is a Black Female Preacher, and whenever she comes to visit, she has a word from God for her mother. Well, several words, most of which aren’t so good. But she is always nice to Tammie. She gives her compliments on everything from her cooking to the way she takes care of her brothers and sister. It might be nice to have her around for a while. She might be the only one Tammie will feel safe enough to talk to.

  “When’s she coming?” Tammie asks.

  Before her mother can answer, the doorbell rings. “That may be her now,” her mother replies. “You answer it,” she waves Tammie away as she continues to stock the cabinets.

  Tammie goes to the door and opens it wide. “Hey Grandma-” she stops cold when she sees who is on the other side of the door. “Um, Devon,” she speaks his name so softly she knows he can’t possibly have heard it.

  Devon is in a crisp white t-shirt and stylish jeans. His highly defined jaw meets with a statuesque neck and torso. His cool, dark eyes match his dark chocolate skin perfectly. His lips cover two perfect rows of white teeth that even now make Tammie feel dizzy. He keeps his hair clean cut and short. He has a small moustache – also neatly kept. He is so… perfect. Devon smiles as he watches her watching him.

  “Do I pass the inspection?” he asks before lightly pecking her on the cheek.

  “Oh yes,” she exhales more than speaks. Devon pulls a bouquet of roses from behind his back and hands them to her.

  “Happy Valentine’s day,” he grins. Tammie’s eyes light up with delight. How did she not see the flowers?

  “Hey Miss McLeod,” Devon greets her mother, whose face lights up the moment she sees him.

  “Devon,” she coos. “It’s so nice to see you again.” Her words ooze out of her mouth like honey. “I’m so glad it’s you, and not the wicked witch!”

  Devon raises his eyebrows in response, a quirk that Tammie absolutely adores. Tammie makes her way to Devon’s side and gives her mother a knowing glance.

  “Well! Don’t mind me, you two,” she waves her hand in the air. “I can see you need some privacy, so I’ll just get out of your hair.”

  Tammie watches her mother leave and almost regrets it. She doesn’t know how to break the news to Devon.

  “The wicked witch?” Devon asks curiously.

  “I’ll explain it to you later,” Tammie shakes her head as she places the flowers in a vase. “Devon, there’s something we need to talk about.”

  Devon watches her carefully, but says nothing.

  “About what happened in December,” Tammie begins timidly. She hesitates, fidgeting with her fingers.

  Devon gives her an understanding look. “You don’t have to say another word, Tammie. I know where this is headed.”

  “You do?” Tammie feels her stomach twist into knots.

  “Yes,”
Devon replies softly and places his hands on her shoulders. “Listen, Tammie, I’ve noticed how awkward you’ve been around me, and I know what you’re going through.”

  “You do?” Tammie feels tears building up behind her eyes. The floodgates could break at any moment.

  “Yes!” Devon slowly moves his hands to her neck, and then to the sides of her face. “Tammie, you don’t have to feel awkward around me, okay?” He brings his face closer to hers. “You mean a lot to me, Tams. I’m not a player and you can trust me.” Devon kisses her, and Tammie can’t hold her tears any longer.

  “Don’t cry, Tammie,” Devon speaks soothingly. “I love you, girl.”

  Relief washes over Tammie like a refreshing tide. “You do?” she sniffs.

  “Of course I do,” Devon says simply. “Do you believe me?”

  Tammie nods, assured now that she can tell him, and he will make everything okay. “I’m so glad you love me, Devon.” Tammie smiles. “I want you to know that-”

  The doorbell rings for the second time that afternoon. Tammie silently curses the interruption, but Devon releases her face and saunters to the door. The bell rings twice more before Devon can reach it. Whoever is on the other side is adamant about being let in.

  “Persistent, aren’t they?” Devon mumbles under his breath before opening the door.

  The other side of the door reveals a tall, elderly black woman with long hair and a serious face.

  “Can I help you, ma’am?” Devon asks.

  After looking Devon over, the elderly woman tsks.

  “I swear they keep getting younger and younger.”

  “Is that you, Grandma?” Tammie yells from the kitchen.

  “Is that my sweet Granddaughter?” she asks in response.

  Devon glances from one to the other, feeling left out. Tammie comes out of the kitchen and rushes to the door.

  “Come in out of the air, Grandma!” Tammie exclaims. She is genuinely happy to see her. Her grandmother smiles at her as she walks inside and gives her a big hug. Devon smiles at her and extends his arms.

  “Those look like some pretty good hugs. I’d sure like to get one.”

  “Well, I suppose I could spare another, but not until we’ve been introduced young man,” her Grandmother replies.

  Tammie smiles. “Devon, this is my Grandmother, Ms. Eloise McLeod. Grandma, this is Devon… my boyfriend.”

  “Oh! So this one belongs to you?” her Grandmother jokes. “For a moment there I feared Sadie was going through a mid-life crisis!”

  Tammie smiles at her Grandmother’s wit and leads her to the sofa in the living room.

  “So, Devon, how long have you been dating my Granddaughter?”

  “Only a few months,” Devon replies. “But they’ve been good months.”

  “Well, Devon, I’ll get right to the point,” her Grandmother sits and stares at Devon with squinted eyes. “My Granddaughter is a very special young woman. She doesn’t need any boy messing around with her feelings and pretending to be something he’s not.”

  “Grandma!” Sometimes Tammie hates her Grandmother’s straightforwardness.

  Devon doesn’t seem ruffled. “I realize that Tammie’s very special, Ms. McLeod. I consider myself lucky… no, blessed, to have her in my life.”

  Miss Eloise seems very pleased with this answer, but tries not to show it. “And what do you intend to do with the rest of your life?”

  “I want to become a lawyer. I want to make good money, raise a family, and stay as far away from small towns as possible. Lord willing, I’ll get my Bachelor’s in Criminal Justice at Clairmont University, go to law school, pass the bar, and eventually have my own law firm.”

  Miss Eloise cannot hide her approval. “Well! It’s so refreshing to hear from a young man with goals. It seems you’ve got everything figured out.”

  “Well, it’s a rough sketch at best, Ms. McLeod,” Devon replies humbly. “Tell me about yourself and your accomplishments.”

  Tammie watches her Grandmother’s face light up in delight as she begins her tale. She describes how God called her to ministry when she was thirteen, which is the number of brothers and sisters she had at the time, and how she’s been preaching the gospel ever since. Twenty minutes later, after Tammie’s mother comes out from hiding, Tammie pulls Devon away from the two women’s doting affection.

  “Devon and I are going for a walk,” Tammie replies, much to the two women’s disappointment.

  Devon smiles at her Grandmother. “It was nice meeting you Ms. Eloise! You take care!”

  “You too baby!” she replies jovially.

  Tammie has to practically drag Devon out of the house to get him out from under the clutches of her Grandmother. They make their way to the park, one of their favorite places to be together, and sit on one of the benches.

  Devon places his arm around Tammie and grabs her hand, rubbing his fingers in between hers. “What’s on your mind, Tammie?” he asks her.

  “Devon, I know you love me, but I can’t help thinking this isn’t going to work.”

  Devon leans in closer, kissing Tammie on the neck, then on the cheek as he whispers in her ear. “Don’t worry babe, everything is going to be all right.”

  “I can’t stop thinking about that night, Devon.”

  Devon draws back, unable to hide his apprehension. “It wasn’t planned, Tammie. It just happened. We’re in love. We couldn’t help ourselves.”

  Tammie begins to whimper and Devon draws her closer. “Don’t cry, Tammie. We’ll be more careful, okay? Don’t feel guilty. Love is nothing to feel guilty about.”

  “It’s not that,” Tammie huffs. She hates doing this a second time, but she has to tell him. It isn’t fair to keep it from him. She can feel Devon’s body tense, hear the change in his voice.

  “What is it, then?” he asks with less softness than before.

  Tammie hesitates. The last time she made this confession her best friend abandoned her. Still, she has to tell him. “I’m pregnant.”

  Devon laughs nervously. “Tammie, that’s impossible.”

  “It’s true, Devon,” Tammie whispers as tears begin forming in her eyes yet again.

  Devon frowns. Tammie watches dark clouds smolder in his eyes, and he lets go of her hand.

  “What do you mean, you’re pregnant?” he asks with an edge of panic in his voice.

  “I’m… we… are going to have a baby.”

  Devon shakes his head. “No, no way! That’s not possible!” Devon jumps up from the bench. “What have you been doing, Tammie?”

  Tammie looks at Devon, dumbstruck. “What do you mean, what have I been doing?”

  “We only had sex one time, Tammie!” Devon exclaims.

  “Once is all it takes, Devon!” Tammie retorts.

  “I don’t believe that,” he says with clenched fists. “You’ve been messing around!”

  “I have not!” Tammie denies it. “How can you even say that?”

  “Because it’s true!” he accuses. Devon rolls his eyes and runs his hand over his head. “I’ve been faithful to you since we’ve been together, and what do I get? Some crackpot story that you’re having a baby? My baby? I’ve got my whole life ahead of me, Tammie! What am I gonna do with a baby?”

  “I don’t know!” Tammie cries. “I don’t know what to do, Devon, that’s why I’m telling you. I need your help.”

  Devon shakes his head as Tammie reaches for his hand. “Devon, please, just listen to me,” she urges him. “We can work this out. We love each other. I know it won’t be easy, but we can do it.”

  “I’d better take you home,” Devon replies abruptly. Tammie feels her heart breaking for the hundredth time that day. After studying Devon for a few minutes, she agrees.

  They barely speak during the walk back. Tammie runs through everything in her mind a million times, wondering where she went wrong this time. She takes consolation in the fact that her Grandmother is waiting for her at home. At least she will be ther
e to comfort her, give her advice, and reassure her that she doesn’t need a man to make it. Won’t she?

  When she opens the front door, Tammie is accosted by her grandmother.

  “Honey,” her grandmother starts. “That’s a good boy going places! You’d better hold on to him! That’s a rare breed, child, and you’re very lucky to have him. Where is he?”

  “He had to go, Grandma,” Tammie replies as calmly as she can. “Listen, I’m not feeling too well, so I’m going to go lay down, okay?” Her Grandmother nods, still smiling over Devon.

  If only they knew, Tammie thinks as she walks to her room. She sits down on the edge of her bed, gradually sinking until she connects with the floor.

  “I hate him!” she whimpers. “How could he say those things to me? What did I do wrong?” Tammie cries intensely, cramming her pillow into her mouth to muffle the sound of her screams. She can’t have this baby. It will change everything for her. Her life will be over, or she’ll end up just like her mother. Tammie feels low. Lower than she’s felt since finding out she was pregnant.

  Now she is pregnant and completely unwanted. Jennifer doesn’t want her, Devon doesn’t want her, and if she tells her mother or Grandmother, neither of them will want her, either. Her mother will tell her how much of a burden a baby is, and how much of a burden Tammie having a baby will be. Her grandmother will chastise her for her sexual sin and condemn her.

  She needs a way out of this. Tammie considers abortion, but the idea leaves as soon as it comes. She can’t kill an innocent baby. No, there has to be another way. In the meantime, she needs a plan to hide her pregnancy. She doesn’t want anyone else to know what’s happened.

  “Why did I tell him?” she demands the question of herself. It didn’t make things any better. Now Devon hates her. She is ruining his life, and his life is full of so much potential. Devon has so many dreams, so many goals. How could she be so selfish?

  Having so many siblings, Tammie knows where babies came from. Why didn’t she protect herself? Why didn’t she protect Devon?

  Tammie reflects back to the day it all happened. It was the day she and Jennifer went to the movies with Devon. Max and Martin had been there as well, so Tammie left with Devon while Jennifer went home with Martin and Max.

  But Tammie didn’t go home.

  She went to Devon’s house, where they grabbed his car and headed to the lake. It was a beautiful man-made lake just behind Logoria Memorial Park. Devon was so romantic; he prepared a picnic basket and blanket on the grass by the water. It was cold, but she didn’t care. Tammie enjoyed spending that afternoon with Devon, teasing him and taunting him. She’d playfully pushed Devon near the water. Devon had taken it as a challenge, and he pushed her back. They both eventually ended up in the water. It was early December, and though the temperature was in the seventies, the water was not. They were both cold and soaked.