Drunk Dial, Page 2

“Well, I prefer happy endings.”

  “I bet you do.”

  He laughed. “Hey, I meant to ask you before you hung up on me…did you ever figure out the Rubik’s Cube?”

  What an odd question. Then, I remembered that at one time, mastering the cube by matching all of the colors was an important life goal.

  “No. No, I didn’t.”

  “Neither, did I. It wasn’t from lack of trying. But I figured maybe you never did, either.”

  “How were you so sure I never figured it out?”

  “Well, you left your cube behind in the old apartment, for one. You couldn’t have been that dedicated. I still have it.”

  That really surprised me. “You do?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You took it with you to California?”

  “I did.”

  “What made you call me right now?”

  “The same reason you called me last night…curiosity? Except admittedly, I’m not drunk.”

  The embarrassment for my behavior last night hadn’t waned. “Well, I’m kind of in a rush right now, so…”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I visit a ten-year-old girl once a week as part of the Detroit Big Sister program. Her name is Lilith. I meet her at her house and take her out.”

  “So, you’re like a mentor…”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s really cool of you to do that.”

  “Yeah, well, I sort of feel like she’s the big sister sometimes. She’s very mature for her age, and many days, I’m the one in need of the company.”

  “I think that’s the balls. How long are you with her?”

  “A couple of hours. I have to go straight to work after I drop her back home.”

  “Oh, that’s right. The belly dancing.”

  “Yes. It’s at a Greek restaurant. It’s only temporary. It pays the bills for now. I don’t plan to do it forever.”

  “I think it’s amazing, nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “I’m not...ashamed.”

  “I just wish I could witness it.”

  “Yeah, that won’t be happening.” Changing the subject, I asked, “What do you do…for work?”

  “I’m sort of a jack-of-all-trades. At the moment, I’m an aspiring chef, although not exactly Wolfgang Puck or anything.”

  “Very nice. Well, I’d better go. The bus is going to be coming.”

  “You take the bus?”

  “Yes. I don’t have a car right now.”

  “Can’t afford it?”

  Unsure of whether to admit it, I sighed. “I don’t drive, actually.”

  “Really? Like never learned?”

  “That’s correct.”

  “Why didn’t you learn?”

  “No one ever taught me.”

  “Shit. I wouldn’t be able to survive out here if I couldn’t drive.”

  “Yeah, well, luckily there’s the bus.”

  “Are you ever gonna learn?”

  This was a sore spot, something that embarrassed me, and I really didn’t want to talk about it. “I don’t know.”

  “It’s only going to be harder the longer you put it off, you know.”

  “Yeah, I’m quite aware of that as I’m currently waiting in the rain for the bus.”

  “Well, shit, this makes me want to teach you how to fucking drive.”

  “No, that won’t be happening. Anyway, I have to go. I—”

  “Can I call you later?” he interrupted.

  “Why?”

  “I feel like we haven’t finished talking about what happened. You know…when you left.”

  “You mean when I got kicked out.”

  “No, when—”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “Clearly, it matters to you if after thirteen years you’re still thinking about it, enough to call me before anyone else in the world when you were drunk. I feel like we need to maybe…clear some things up. How about this? I’ll drunk dial you later.”

  I stayed silent as the bus came to a screeching halt in front of me before the doors opened.

  Scanning my pass, I said, “You’re gonna get drunk and call me?”

  “Sure, why not? An eye for an eye. What time will you be home?”

  Grabbing a seat, I asked, “Aren’t drunk dials supposed to be acts of spontaneity?”

  “Would you rather me surprise you at an inopportune moment?”

  He had a point. At least this way, I would be prepared.

  “I’ll be home around eleven my time.”

  “Okay…I’ll be calling you.” He snickered. “And I’ll be drunk.”

  I laughed as I looked around to see if anyone was observing my giddy behavior. “Okay.”

  “Be prepared, Rana.”

  Lilith was tapping her foot as she waited on her front porch for me. “You’re late.”

  Nothing like getting reprimanded by the kid you’re supposed to be setting a good example for.

  “I know. I’m sorry. The bus always goes slower in the rain.”

  “Do you need an umbrella?”

  “If you have an extra?”

  She ran back inside and grabbed me a little, cheap one that I knew wouldn’t last in this wind.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “Froyo?”

  “I thought you stopped eating sugar.”

  She was like a bossy old lady sometimes.

  “I did. They have the sugar-free one. That vanilla flavor.”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “Okay.”

  When we arrived at the frozen yogurt place, we each grabbed one of the neon green cups and filled them with as much yogurt and toppings as we could fit. I preferred a mixture of chocolate and nuts while Lilith always went for gummy worms and Cap’n Crunch cereal.

  Getting a load of my mountain of candy-covered yogurt, she busted my balls. “Nice sugar-free diet?”

  “You got me.” I winked.

  We took a seat at the bright, orange-colored table that was slightly sticky from the previous customer.

  Lilith and I ate in silence until she finally spoke.

  “Why do you come see me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Why do you show up every week? My mom says they don’t pay you.”

  “It makes me feel good to be around you, makes me feel like I’m contributing to this world by being a role model for you when I didn’t really have one myself growing up.”

  “But you seem sad some of the time.”

  “Yeah, well, maybe that’s my mood when I arrive sometimes, but I always leave happier after I’ve hung out with you. How about that?”

  She reached over and grabbed a piece of Kit Kat from my cup. “Okay. I believe you.”

  I finished before she did, so I alternated between watching her eat and looking out the window toward the parking lot. The phone conversation with Landon started to replay in my head, and I must have been smiling to myself when Lilith interrupted my thoughts.

  “Earth to Rana. Why are you laughing?”

  “I am?”

  “Yes. You were just staring out the window and laughing. You looked silly.”

  “Well…” I sighed. “Today was kind of a funny day.”

  “Why?”

  “Someone from the past called me, and he made me laugh.”

  “And you were thinking about it just now?”

  “Yes.”

  “Was he your boyfriend?”

  “Definitely not, no.”

  “Who, then?”

  Hesitating, I had to think about how to sum up Landon for her.

  “He’s someone I used to know when I was a little older than you. We’d hang out—kind of like you do with your friend, Jasper.”

  “So, he sticks his hand up your shirt?”

  My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “What?”

  “Just kidding.”

  She liked to fuck with me like that.

  “Don’t scare me.” I placed my hand
on my pounding heart. “You little jerk.”

  She played with the gummy worm hanging halfway out of her mouth. “What kinds of things did you guys do?”

  “We hung out, talked, rode bikes…stuff like that.”

  “Why did he call you?”

  “I called him, actually, the night before, so he was calling me back, I guess.”

  “Are you going to see him?”

  “No. He lives in California.”

  “I’ve always wanted to go visit television.”

  I squinted. “What?”

  “Everything on TV is located there. California is television to me.”

  “Ah.” I smiled. “Well, maybe we can take a trip there someday when you’re old enough.”

  “My parents won’t let me.”

  “Well, when you’re older, you can make that decision for yourself.”

  “We won’t know each other anymore then.”

  That hurt me to hear her say that. She just assumed I would ditch her at some point?

  “What makes you so sure of that?”

  “You’ll get sick of this. And I’ll be too old for this Little Sister stuff.”

  “Don’t be so sure. I kind of like bugging you every week. This would be a hard habit to break.”

  Lilith abruptly changed the subject. “Does anyone ever call you Jasmine?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You look like Princess Jasmine from Aladdin, except your skin is a little lighter, and your eyes are green. Your hair is exactly like hers, though. Do you pretend to be her when you’re dancing at that Gyro place?”

  “Gyro place.” I chuckled. “You’re funny.”

  Barely out of my belly dancer garb, I rushed to pick up the phone when it rang at eleven on the dot.

  Out of breath, I answered, “Hello?”

  Landon sounded full of energy. “Hey!”

  “You seem…happy. Are you drunk?”

  “Full disclosure. I am drinking, but I hold my liquor pretty well, so sadly, I’m not drunk like I’d hoped I would be.”

  “You’re failing at this drunk dialing thing.”

  “I know. I’m more like a buzzed dialer.” He laughed. “So, how was work?”

  “It was okay. My feet are tired.”

  “When did you learn to belly dance, anyway?”

  “I taught myself. Video tutorials. I have the exotic look, so I figured I’d go with it. Took a while to learn and find a gig, but I put my mind to it, and it finally happened.”

  “I still can’t picture you belly dancing.”

  “That’s because you’re picturing roly-poly Rana Banana.”

  “Maybe. So…you look different? What do you look like now?”

  “You won’t get to find out.”

  “I’m starting to think that. I’ve tried to look you up on social media, but I couldn’t remember how to spell your last name for the life of me. The best I could come up with was Salami.”

  Laughing, I corrected him. “Saloomi with two ‘O’s. But I cancelled all of my social media accounts, and there are no pictures to be found of me.”

  “I don’t have Facebook, either,” he said.

  “I know.”

  “Oh…so you looked me up before the drunk dial? Was that like the prelude to dialing me? I guess I should be grateful. If you could’ve just quietly stalked me, you might not have called.”

  I promptly switched gears. “What did you feel we needed to talk about tonight?”

  “You seem to have some misconceptions about me that need to be cleared up. When you first called me, you started spewing crap—assuming things. You said you believed I thought my shit didn’t stink. You also assumed I lived in a mansion. What kind of fuckery is that? You seem to have the impression that I think I’m high and mighty.”

  “Now, I just think you’re mighty high.” I snorted. “Just kidding. Sorry, I wasn’t in my right mind when I said those things.”

  “Okay, but alcohol is basically like truth serum. Those assumptions were there before that night. Let me clarify something, Rana. I never thought I was better than you growing up just because we had more money. I never thought about those things. Anyway, my parents aren’t supporting me financially anymore. I’ve fended for myself for a very long time.”

  “Where are they now?”

  “They’re still in Michigan.”

  “How did you end up in California?”

  “That’s a long story. I want you to tell me what happened to you first.”

  “I’m gonna need alcohol, then.”

  “Well, by all means, go get some. You’re late to the party.”

  “Hang on.”

  I ran to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of chardonnay from the bottle that had been chilling in the fridge.

  Returning to my room, I lay down on the bed and kicked my feet up.

  I took a long sip then started to open up. “You remember my mother.”

  “Yeah. She was like a teenager compared to your dad.”

  “Yes. You know, they had an arranged marriage. She was never in love with him and never ready to be a wife and mother. Well, she basically left us soon after we moved. She ran off with her boyfriend. The last I heard, she was living somewhere in Ohio. I haven’t seen her in over a decade.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Taking a deep breath in to squelch the pain of thinking about her, I continued, “Anyway, my father took his anger over the whole situation out on me. He became super strict. He didn’t want me to turn out like Shayla…like a slut, in his mind. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere, to do anything. But I rebelled behind his back. There’s a lot of stuff that happened, but basically, I ran away for a while in my late teens after graduation. My grandparents had given me money that was supposed to be for college, and I took it and blew it on other things. I feel very guilty about that.”

  “Well, you were young and stupid.”

  “Very.”

  “Are you still living near your grandparents?”

  “No. I moved back to Dearborn ironically a few years ago. My father followed me.”

  “How is your relationship with your dad now?”

  “We’re working on it. The two of us are closer than we ever were.”

  “Happy to hear that. How does he feel about the belly dancing?”

  “He’s not thrilled about it. But he has to accept it. He knows I’m saving up to go back to school and to also pay my grandparents back.”

  “What do you want to study?”

  “I keep changing my mind, but as of late I think I’d like to run a daycare someday. So, maybe early childhood education or child psychology.”

  “Very cool.”

  I made myself more comfortable on the bed. “Okay, so tell me how you ended up in California.”

  “It’s complicated, but the gist is that when I turned sixteen, my parents told me I was actually adopted.”

  What?

  I definitely wasn’t expecting that.

  “Jim and Marjorie aren’t your birth parents?”

  “No.” He let out a breath. “So, when they dropped that bomb, I went through a tough time after that, came out here when I was eighteen.”

  “Did you go to college out there?”

  “Nope. I never actually went to college.”

  “Gosh, you were always so smart. I’d always pictured you going to an Ivy League school.”

  “I’ve had lunch at The Ivy,” he joked. “Does that count?”

  “I guess not.” I chuckled. “Why did you choose California?”

  “It’s where I was born.”

  “You went to find your birth mother?”

  “That’s why I came here, but I didn’t pursue it right away. It took me a while to garner the guts.”

  “Did you ever find her?”

  “Yeah, but it’s too much to get into right now, and I’m not in the right frame of mind. I think that might be a story for another time, okay?

  There was going to be
another time?

  “No problem.”

  “Fuck. That was a total buzz kill. Quick, Rana. Tell me something funny.”

  Wracking my brain, I said, “I caught my roommate sleeping with a pair of my leggings on his face today.”

  “The same guy who wants to kill you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Apparently, he wants to inhale your pussy, too.”

  “He was out cold. It was weird.”

  “That’s fucked-up.”

  “Was that funny enough for you?”

  “You got more?”

  “Someone dropped feta down my cleavage when they threw money at me tonight. I didn’t realize it until I got home.”

  “Ah, feta sandwich. I’m gonna start calling you cheesy tits.” He was cracking up. “God, Rana, I have not laughed this much in forever. I have fucking tears coming out of my eyes.”

  “How’s Malaria, by the way?”

  He laughed even harder. “Valeria…”

  “Yeah. Whatever.”

  “She’s Russian.”

  “Is she your fuck buddy?”

  “I don’t know what she is.” He paused. “I doubt I’ll ever see her again. There wasn’t really a spark there.”

  “Yet, you slept with her anyway.”

  “Are you judging me for that?”

  A little.

  “No.”

  “I think you might be.” He sounded somewhat pissed.

  “It’s not that I blame you for taking advantage of it, but I guess I just don’t like the idea of a man using a woman for sex and then never calling her again.”

  “What makes you think I was the aggressor? If a woman chases after me…begs me for sex…I give in…how is it using her? Not all women are looking for more than one night. Some of the women I encounter out here are worse than guys in their quest for meaningless fun. If I’m upfront about what I want or don’t want from the very beginning, then how am I hurting the person?”

  He was making me feel like an idiot. Landon was right. His behavior was probably normal for a single man living in L.A. He just didn’t realize he was talking to someone with a plethora of sexual hang-ups.

  “I suppose you’re not hurting them. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions.”

  “You don’t think I want a deeper connection with someone? I just haven’t found it. In the meantime, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with finding sexual partners with mutual expectations so long as you’re safe and not hurting anyone.”

  “Okay, you’ve schooled me. Thank you. Let’s move on from this discussion.”